Contours of Individualism according to How Generation Me - Essay Example

Generation Me – the generation born between 1970 and 1990 - is a generation that is at once infuriating yet inspiring, disturbing yet enlightening.What else can you say about a generation that is self-centered, apathetic, narcissistic, self-destructive and rude, yet tolerant, non-discriminatory, enlightened and ambitious? The bad traits and the good ones come together to define this generation, and these traits are really all branches of one larger trait, and that is individualism. Individualism can be summed up by one phrase - “the world revolves around me.” Therefore, no authority has any sway, no traditions have any meaning, and all differences are accepted. Individualism is a mixed bag. On the one hand, individualism leads to rudeness. Witness the truck owner who takes up four spaces in a parking lot on a rainy day, the woman who leaves a shopping cart in a parking space, a man who talks loudly on a cell phone in a bookstore where people are obviously trying to read. On the other, individualism leads to large societal change – because individualism by definition bucks conformity and convention, this leads to great change. This paper will attempt to explore the contours of individualism, according to how Generation Me defines and practices it. At the same time, I will compare my own life to that of my generation. Because I believe that Generation Me, like many other books of its kind, deals with generalizations, the rule as opposed to the exception. Generation Me does not define me, nor does it describe me. Perhaps no other term is more appropriate for Generation Me than individualism. Generation Me sees him or herself as special and unique, which is not necessarily a bad thing. They also discount the opinions of others, which is sometimes a bad thing. For instance, they are resistant to authority. (p. 28). Where previous generations were taught the value of God, church and government, Generation Me questions all of these institutions. (p. 28). They also question the expertise of instructors, believing that they know as much, if not more, than their teachers about the subject at hand. (p. 28). Because of this, they are generally resistant to criticism about their work. It is therefore no doubt difficult for them to improve. Related to this is the fact they are more likely to cheat in academics, which also makes it difficult to have the same qualitative learning experiences as those in previous generations. In contrast, I was brought up to respect my elders and teachers. Perhaps it is because I am a product of my upbringing. I am a second-generation Hispanic woman, with a traditional family. My parents are not the permissive parents that are portrayed in this book. They would never take my side over that of the teachers, assuming that I am in in the wrong in any such dispute. Because of this, I knew, early on, not to even try to play my parents against my teachers, as I knew that it would not end up in my favor. Therefore I have learned not to challenge my teachers, and this has enhanced my learning experience. I have taken their criticisms, and this has made me better academically and stronger as a person. I would never believe that I know more than my instructors, preferring to defer to them and their expertise, as I know that they have the degrees and education to which I inspire but have not yet attained. I have much to learn from them, and I am better for their tutelage. I believe that it is truly sad that so many members of my generation are missing out on this same learning experience, simply because they refuse to give the recognition and respect that their professors and instructors have earned and deserve. There are other iconoclastic features of Generation Me. They have long since decided that it is okay to marry whomever they want (p. 31), and more of them are foregoing organized religion in favor of following their own conscience (p. 34). Therefore, Generation Me is taking the conventions of previous generations and turning them on their heads. While the rejections of social mores and conventions are admirable – it is much better to live in a world where you can marry who you want, as opposed to who society dictates who you should – it also leads to isolation and loneliness. Previous generations had their church and community that brought them together with their neighbors and peers. This generation does not have the same touchstones. Generation Me does not get involved with civic groups such as the PTA and Jaycees, partially due to their individualistic nature (p. 35). We are also less likely to trust their neighbors, which leads to isolation to those living around us. My situation is also different from those in my generation. While I do believe in the right to marry whomever I choose, and I believe that everybody should have that right, I have had a strong religious upbringing and I have not strayed from that. My ties to the church has brought me a great sense of security and belonging, and has tied me to my community at large. Although I do not currently have any children, when I do have children, I plan on getting very involved in the PTA and other organizations that will further his or her education. I also do not have a profound distrust of my neighbors, making friends with many of those around me. Therefore, I am not representative of my generation. I may not be as iconoclastic as my fellow Generation Me individuals, but I am not as lonely or isolated either. Another aspect of Generation Me is that the individuals in the generation are known for their high degree of self-esteem (p. 45). Unfortunately, the self-esteem is not necessarily tied to any kind of achievement. Generation Me has grown up thinking that they are special and unique, and they can do no wrong, which is all well and good, but the excessive praise that they have experienced has backfired. For instance, grade inflation is the norm for this generation. Grades are inflated, so that what used to be C work is now an A (p. 61). This could lead to American children falling further behind their peers around the world in the critical areas of math and science (p. 64). Criticism is discouraged, as this might hamper the childs self-esteem (p. 61). O f course, this is protecting the child from the inevitable, as they are eventually going to be criticized by their employers. Generation Me presumably would not know how to handle such criticism. Once again, my individual experience is different from that of my generation. My parents have taught me that achievement is first, and my self-esteem is based upon that, not upon a nebulous standard that has nothing to do with achievement. If I did not do my best in school, then my parents were disapproving, as well they should be. They did not try to make me feel good about the times that I was not successful, if my lack of success had to do with a lack of trying. If I tried my best and still did not succeed, they did not make me feel bad about it, but, rather, showed me how I could improve in the future. I feel that I can handle criticism in the future, as my family has given me constructive criticism when I needed it, and this has been helpful to me. In this way, I have learned the art of self-control, which is defined by Twenge as “the ability to persevere and keep going” (p. 67). This has hopefully set me up for a much better outcome than my peers who apparently have not learned the importance of self-control. The darker side of high self-esteem and the constant praise that led to this inflated self-esteem is narcissism (p. 69). This is self-esteem and individualism at it logical extreme. Narcissism leads one to be completely focused on himself and lack empathy for others. This is a personality disorder that leads the narcissistic person to be “hostile, feel anxious, compromise their health, and fight with friends and family” (p. 68-69). Narcissistic people have problems getting close to others, and do not have relationship skills to sustain a healthy and loving union (p. 70). Extreme narcissism can lead to violence, such as with the case of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, the Columbine killers who were determined to gain the respect that they felt they deserved and went about getting this respect by the butt of a gun (p. 70). They were too busy thinking about who would direct a film about them to consider the lives that they were shattering. Ironically, a film was made by a famous director, Gus Van Sant, that was based upon their story, so their goal was fulfilled, albeit posthumously. Other examples of narcissism are rapists and abusive husbands (p. 71). These individuals need for things to go their way, and they turn very rageful when it does not. As narcissism is anything but a healthy trait, I, of course, am personally opposed to those who suffer from narcissism. I can understand how narcissism begins, as our generation is excessively focused on the self, but those individuals who take it to the extreme are the reason for the societal breakdown. I am not even thinking of the extremes in narcissistic behavior – the murderers, the rapists, the abusers – but about your “average” narcissist who cheats on his wife without even thinking about it, or perhaps loots a large company for his own personal gain. These people simply do not think of others when they act, and they are not only dangerous but are responsible for unraveling the social fabric and violating the social contract. Generation Me has also learned not to give up on their dreams. Twenge seemed to be dismissive of this concept, and, at first, I did not understand why. To me, it is good to have dreams and goals for oneself, and try to achieve them. For instance, I have a dream to complete my education in police studies and become a police-woman. I think that it is important to follow through on this dream, so that I can be self-fulfilled in my life. I fail to see how this is a bad thing. If anything, it is a bad thing to give up and live a life that is less than what is imagined or deserved. But, after a more careful reading of the Twenge criticism of the Generation Mes focus on their dreams, I realize that she was cautioning against following a dream when there is no talent or basis for having this dream. Generation Me has been brought up to believe that anything is possible, but this is not necessarily so. Perhaps one person has a dream to become an artist, yet that person is not able to draw a proper stick figure. Maybe another person has a goal to be a supermodel, yet that person is 52”. A third person fancies herself a singer, only to find out on her “American Idol” tryout that she cannot carry a note. It is just a sad fact of reality that not everybody is equipped to achieve all their dreams, yet Generation Me does not see the distinction. To them, anything is possible to anybody, and this is not necessarily so. When the individual discovers that they cannot attain his or her dreams, this can lead to a great deal of anxiety and depression. This anxiety and depression is the dark side of Generation Me. They were brought up to believe that they are special, that they can do anything, that the world is their oyster and that anything they want is theirs. Their teachers were hesitant to criticize them, and they earned As without really trying. Perhaps a sense of invincibility sets in. Then, they get into the real world, and their bubble of invincibility promptly pops. They dream of getting into Harvard, yet Harvard is nearly impossible to get into, turning down 50% of applicants with a perfect SAT score (p. 116). Maybe their dream isnt Harvard, maybe it is just a state school. But even state schools, such as San Diego State University, where Twenge teaches, rejects a great many applicants, with the average undergraduate student having earned a 3.5 GPA and scoring in the 80th percentile of the SAT. Without a good education, it is difficult to get a good job, at least the kind of job that is fulfilling. Even with a good job, it is difficult to get by and get a piece of the American dream, which starts with a home of ones own. This is because housing prices are so astronomical in most large areas (p. 121). In San Diego, the hometown of the author, only “11% of households have enough income to buy the median-priced home” (p. 121). In Los Angeles, it is even worse, as only 5% can afford the median-priced home (p. 121). Unfortunately, these numbers do not tell the whole story, as a home in a safe neighborhood with good schools are even more out of reach (p. 121). This also bleeds into the issue of having children, as it is apparently next to impossible to raise a child on one income, yet day care is also outrageously expensive (p. 125). Add to all this the skyrocketing costs of health-care, (p. 127), and you have a recipe for a great deal of anxiety and depression for Generation Me. They were brought up to believe that life would be easy, yet the reality is anything but. That it is difficult just to scrape by, what with the high cost of living and the bleak reality of income prospects, is especially difficult for Generation Me, for they believe that they not only should have the basics in life, but the luxuries as well. Generation Me was spoon-fed a steady diet of consumerism through the commercials we see and have witnessed television characters that do not have boring jobs (p. 130). Generation Me wants to be millionaires, and famous, and “live in a large house and drive fancy cars.” (p. 129). They are made aware of things that they cannot have by looking at catalogs and watching “reality” television shows that feature the “expensive trappings of the famous.” (p. 131). For the most part, these big dreams are out of their reach. When they do not attain all that the media and society says that they should, it hurts. I have avoided this trap, for I have been grounded in reality my whole life. I have had realistic expectations, in that I have not had aspiration of Harvard or other Ivy League schools. I am content at my current college, and I am not going to carry with me a lot of debt from this education. I am also realistic about the prospect of buying my own home. I am sensible and saving for my down-payment, and am not going to get into a high-risk mortgage that is likely to foreclose. I realize that obtaining child care will be expensive, but I am frugal and feel that I will be able to manage this expense. Which is not to say that I am not sympathetic to the plight of those in my generation. The sad thing is, this book was written before the collapse of the financial markets and subsequent recession. If things were difficult for Generation Me in 2005, they are that much more difficult today. I would imagine that the dissolution experienced by my generation is that much more profound, what with the realities of todays market. More people than ever are shut out of the American dream, and this has probably had an extreme adverse effect. However, at the same time, I would imagine that the extreme nature of harshness of our economic times has grounded Generation Me and taught them not to expect as much as they have in the past. I could not imagine how this would not be the case. Going forward, it will continue to be difficult for Generation Me to attain the basics in life, much less the luxuries. The recession has hit everybody hard. The credit crunch will squeeze even more people out of owning a home, so that it will be difficult to own a home even in areas where the house prices are not outrageous. It doesnt appear that this situation is going to turn around any time soon, and if there is a recovery from the recession, it will be jobless. There doesnt seem to be any kind of government proposal that would make obtaining child care any easier for working people. Health care reform seems less and less of a possibility with each passing day. The issues and problems that were addressed by Twenge – the lack of good jobs and the high cost of housing, health care and child care – are not only continuing unabated, but getting worse. This will lead to even more depression and anxiety among the members of Generation Me, as they find out that the obtaining even a basic style of living is getting difficult, if not impossible. In certain respects, however, it is difficult to feel sorry for the individuals of my generation. This is because they have brought a lot of their problems onto themselves. They are apathetic and do not participate in democracy, because they feel that they cannot make a difference in this world (p. 137-145). They therefore are not going to get a government that is responsive to their needs. If politicians show more concern for middle-aged individuals, retirees and wealthy people because that is where their bread is buttered, and ignore the needs of the young, because they know that the young do not vote, then this is a result of the apathy of Generation Me. This is going to necessarily make their plight more difficult. Generation Mes high focus of self-fulfillment and lack of resources that make the self-fulfillment possible might lead to an increase of crime in the future. I have already discussed how narcissism leads to criminal acts, and that is on the extreme end. But regular Generation Me individuals might resort to crime to get what they want. After all, they already believe that the world owes them, that the individual is paramount and that authority is to be distrusted. It seems to be a short step between these beliefs and the belief that they should take what it is they want. Moreover, the lack of resources might make them desperate, and desperation often leads to crime. Generation Me has also seen corporate crimes being committed, from Enron to Bernie Madoff. This necessarily breeds cynicism – “if these guys can do this and get away with it for so long, then I might as well try as well.” I therefore would not be surprised to see a crime wave occur in the future. However, the effect that Generation Me has had on society has not been all negative. There are many positive things that have come out of Generation Mes attitudes. For instance, Generation Me takes equality of the sexes for granted. Whereas previous generations might believe that a womans place is in the home, Generation Me does not buy into this attitude at all (p. 188-189). Generation Me is also much more accepting of other races and ethnicities than previous generations (p. 184). It is ironic, considering the political apathy of Generation Me, that we have our first black president. This is surely at least a result of the enlightened attitude of this generation, if not their voting record. Moreover, their attitudes towards gays and lesbians is moving society towards more acceptance of these groups (p. 207-208), as evidenced by the handful of states that have legalized gay marriage and another handful of states that have legalized domestic partnerships for gays. The trend in the country is moving towards legalized gay marriage, and the equality-minded views of the Generation Me is moving this along. CONCLUSION Generation Me has grown up in a time when society has told them how special they are, regardless of whether or not they have earned it. This has led to a belief in the individual, as opposed to a belief in society at large. Because of this, Generation Me has had great expectations that are not buttressed by reality. They expect to have the world handed to them, and not be criticized. Unfortunately, criticism is a fact of life and this world has some harsh realities for which this generation is unprepared to face. The high cost of living, combined with the economic realities of our recession and the elevation of the individual over society, might be a recipe for a crime wave in the future. I hope that it is not, but it would make sense for this to happen. However, Generation Me is slowly changing society for the better – towards more equality between the sexes and races, and more tolerance for gays and lesbians. That they are changing society is somewhat ironic, however, considering how politically apathetic they are. In this way, Generation Me is defined by their contradictions – they are apathetic, yet they are changing society; they are self-centered, yet enlightened; expecting the best, yet experiencing the worst. It is sad for this generation, yet it is a function of reality. Read More