Divorce: Staying Together for Children - Essay Example

Divorce Story School I’ve always thought that it is just a normal situation when people fall apart and stop living together, asobviously they have their reasons to divorce. But I had never considered this situation through the scopes of my own family until my parents told me they were about to divorce. I clearly remember that day when I came back from school and saw mother’s face bathed in tears. I was confused, as I didn’t even know what I was supposed to do or say, because it seemed like something really terrible had happened. I asked mom what had happened, and she answered that she and dad were going to divorce. It is difficult to describe what I was going through that moment. I was out of words, shocked and deeply frustrated, I didn’t want to accept the fact that since then everything was going to change in my ordinary life. I had noticed the growing tendency of parental fights before they told me they were going to divorce. I frequently saw mom angry and desperate, but, probably, she was hiding her deep offence for a long time. Ever since parental fights have started I always felt uncomfortable being present at home, as I was afraid that the next fight could have started right in front of me and I didn’t want to hear parents yelling at each other. That’s why at the very first moment mother told me about divorce I was a little bit happy, because I thought their terrible quarrels would be over. But I didn’t know that everything just begins with divorce. The negative atmosphere became even worse after I heard the terrible news, as parents didn’t even try to hide their quarrels anymore. The arguments begun to grow heated and this became the problem of my entire being. At home I was trying to ignore their yelling and at school I wanted to forget what is happening at home but I couldn’t. The thought that I would have to decide with whom I want to live made me frustrated, as I was torn between both of my loves to dad and mom. I realized that if I had chosen one of them, the other one would have been deeply offended. I wished somebody made this choice for me. I remember before the situation got worse and our father moved out from the house I made some attempt to make piece in our family, but once I realized that the conflict between my parents is too deep, that it was impossible for them to reconcile. This fact hearted me, because every moment of my life I lived with the thought that I would never live in a happy family like ours again. For me it was like the end of my world, because things were changing rapidly and inconvertibly. But the most difficult thing among all that events was that my parents were so much involved in their quarrel that they totally forgot about me. They didn’t care so much about my problems and it seemed like they didn’t even notice me being at home. That’s why my coming home became even worse and this time not just because parents were arguing but also because I felt like invisible in my house. I started depressing. Outside world didn’t bother me at all because all my thoughts were occupied by family business. My friends wanted to help me and asked me out to parties and have some fun but I wasn’t ready to celebrate anything because, again, my world was breaking down. I was deeply offended by my parents and felt insulted and lonely. First, I blamed father as he was the reason of their divorce, then I started blaming mother that she didn’t make any attempts to fix the situation and even made everything worse by her eternal scandals. Once I came to them and started blaming them telling that they were the reason why I had been feeling depressed and frustrated for a long time. They seemed surprised. Probably, they didn’t even notice at least once that something bad was happening to me. That was the moment they reunited again in order to calm me down and explain what was going on. They explained to me that there was no guilt because it was time for them to fall apart because their love disappeared and their marriage became weak because of lack of feelings. They said that people should love each other in order to build a happy family otherwise their marriage would be fake and insincere. I asked them just to try to fix everything because I didn’t want to accept the fact that my family was broken already. Though, deep down I realized that there was nothing I could have done in this situation anymore. They promised to stop arguing and kept their word. But from day to day I started noticing that they did it for my sake, as indeed they stopped quarreling. Instead of that they treated each other like if they were strangers. For example, my father tried to come home as rarely as he could, all of us were silent during our common dinners, and parents avoided each other at home. I would say their relationships became totally formal and I understood that they were trying not to offend me anymore because no matter what they both still had their love for me in common. Eventually I told them that I had seen that they were not a couple anymore and I accepted their divorce. It seemed that they took a sigh of relief and in some time divorced. These last events showed to me that it was selfish of me to try to keep my parents together just because I wanted it. They were totally right that if people don’t love each other they should divorce and stay, probably, a good friends or something like that. I realized that if people stay together forcing to pretend that everything is all right it doesn’t make their lives better; vice versa it makes everybody around unhappy, as love can’t be forced. Read More