Couple Therapy - Essay Example

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America is known to have the highest divorce rate in the world and the primary reason is because many of these couples fail to communicate. As stated by Rowan John in 2004, communication gap is the reason why men and women constantly fight. Hence, they find it difficult to come up with an amicable solution…
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Couple Therapy
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Download file to see previous pages We tried to come up with a lot of solutions but failed miserably, thus leading to a break up just after three years of courtship. However, I strongly feel that mine was not a stray case of a strained relationship. As a human being, individuals have trouble communicating with each other in any form. As I deal with this subject in depth, I would be a better listener and help in solving problems thus preparing for building a strong relationship in future. Therefore, I firmly believe that communication is the strongest tool to maintain good relationships.
A relationship is the foundation that two people build up together everyday by communicating and trying to gain each other's trust. As stated by Lingren in 2004, trust is built on mutual respect and acceptance to each other's differences. The relationship gets stronger with trust, in other words trust and relationship are directly proportional to each other i.e., the more the two trust each other, the stronger is the relationship between them. Commitment is usually taken for granted by couples and can easily disappear. Once a couple truly commits, the commitment will help them get through life as a whole rather than as separate individuals. Because marriage is a lifetime process, skills suggest that people need to know and understand each other very well and develop ideas of learning new aspects about each other, thus satisfying the partner's needs. Happiness is the best remedy to any relationship. Caring is one of the many ways to exhibit love thus meaning a support to each other's development and personal interests.
Lingren stated in 2004, "Nurturant love exists when, meeting the needs of your partner is just as important as having your own needs met". Reciprocity is avoiding things that may upset or hurt each other's feelings "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Effort means being willing to work together to develop a mutually satisfying relationship. The lacking of expectation is the main reason that causes people to be unhappy about their relationship. Expectation means letting each other know that he or she needs all the support and one tender embrace from their partner means everything for them in world.
Men and women are most comfortable to express their feelings with one or few people who they feel close to. According to Tannen, men are public speakers or report-talkers where they talk just to preserve independence, negotiate or maintain social status. For this reason, men sometimes do not feel like talking to their wives at home, but are comfortable talking to their friends at a party or coworkers whereas women only feel like talking to their closest friends or husband. For example, in her article, Tannen mentions a story about a couple where every time the wife asks her husband about his day; he ignores her and merely replies such as "Rough" or "It's a jungle out there." But when they go out or visit a guest or attend a party, he turns to be a totally different person. He becomes sociable and comes up with the most interesting stories that people hang on every word. In this story, the wife needs to understand that it is neither her or his fault that the husband does not feel like talking to her. She needs to understand the differences of the way men express their feelings and from there try to get used to it.
Similarly, Gray states that men are ...Download file to see next pagesRead More
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