Interpersonal Communication Skills - Essay Example

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS (Author’s name) (Institutional Affiliation) Interpersonal Skills Communication skill is the ability to share information with another person in effective and efficient way. According to Grenny (2009), having good communication skills is all about the ability to convey information to different people in a clear and simple form, and is understood correctly. Communication skills can either be effective or ineffective. Effective communication is how you convey a message to someone and received as well as understood exactly like the way it is intended (Smart and Featheringham, 2006). Whereas, ineffective communication is whereby if one fails to deliver the message during a communication process, the audience of the message is lost (Zoppi and Epstein, 2002). A conversation to illustrate effective and ineffective communication skills has been included in the appendix section. From the conversation detailed in the appendix, usage of both effective and ineffective skills in communicating with Morris is evident. Active listening is part of effective of communication skills, since most people often describe the techniques as how they think, feel or want like talking, writing or body language (Sommers, 2008). Listening is, however, more important than speaking or any other form of expression used in communication processes. From the conversation, I enhanced listening keenly to what my friend was saying since it improved communication, and it became the key part of our conversation. Active listening has its benefits; it saves time because you are able to cut through people’s defences and get more information without having to repeat the same thing (Donnely and Neville, 2008). It helped Morris to feel being given the chance to be heard and he was able to clarify for me what he was saying, he stopped using his phone and engaged in a serious conversation. The art of active listening can be learned by everyone, all that is needed for effective listening is relaxed attention; listening with your whole body by using both verbal and nonverbal skills. This mainly involves facing the person as well as maintaining eye contact which I was able to achieve from the beginning of the conversation as evidenced in conversation line 1. It also made our conversation more mature and lively since we were both able to know what the other party wanted to say even without going deeper into the topic so as to understand. Carsoelli (2003) contends that being effective in communication involves understanding each other. Body language this is another form of effective communication skills during a conversation and has a great impact to convey a given message just like in the usage of words (Lynch and Kidd, 2000). The technique of body language communication involves facial expressions and maintaining eye contact with the person you are having a conversation with. One should be aware of what your body language might communicate to the other party. An effective way to achieve this is by being aware and detecting the body languages in the other person (Sommers, 2008). Your body language should tell the same story as the words, in fact, majority of information transmitted during interpersonal interactions is through your body. The body language from my friend was very important since it helped me to establish the relationship between the two of us and also be able to regulate the interaction. Facial expressions are also important when expressing emotions through the body. A simple smile from both of us indicated that we were in an agreement or approval of the message being heard. This technique helped in understanding what we were talking about in a very clear way and it helped both of us top indulge deeper on the contents of our conversation and avoided unnecessary repetition of what we were talking about. The conversation between me and Morris also has instances of ineffective communication skills which could make it impossible for us to agree on some point. During our conversation for example conversation line 4, I interrupted my friend without excusing myself. This resulted to cutting short what Morris was relaying to me derailing the effectiveness of the communication process. Interrupting a communicator may make him or her think what they have is less important than what one is saying (Grenny, 2009), thus, resulting to denying the chance to give out their full idea of the conversation trail. According to Levy (1993), it is highly recommended that when you are communicating with other people, take a pause after the person has finished before you speak. This will show that you were listening keenly to what he or she was talking about. The interruption that I made to my friend made him have less concern for what I was going to tell him next since he saw his opinion was not of great concern to the topic. It is also good to understand that other people have different points of view and thus, prudent to try and see things from their perspective since you may learn something from them (Zoppi and Epstein, 2002). Another notable ineffective communication skill is being critical and negative about a topic (Lynch and Kidd, 2000). For instance, in our conversation, line 3 shows complain pertaining to the morning classes and how Friday will ruin a four day week lecture. If you have negative attitude over other people’s plan, ideas or work this may lead to one having a detrimental effect on that topic (Smart and Featheringham, 2006). Negative attitude makes a conversation not to be lively since both parties will not talk something positive about the topic. Avoiding negativity in a conversation makes the topic under discussion to be lively since something good about it is being expressed by the involved parties (Grenny, 2009). Also if you remain positive in a whole conversation, it will draw the attention of the person you are talking to, and he will follow the conversation attentively. The context in communication refers to the physical environmental surrounding, as well as the framework of related facts and events within which communication takes place (Wright, 2007). Mostly these factors affect the way a person thinks about that message and the way he or she will decode it to be understood by the recipient. Contextual factors such as the history of the relationship between the people involved in a conversation, and the nature of their relationship, coupled with features surrounding a piece of communication are context (Sommers, 2008). In the conversation I had with Morris, there is a history of the relationship between us, he is my friend and we have known each other since joining college, and he is also my school mate and hence we have a history together. In case of a positive history, it creates cooperation (Donnely and Neville, 2008), like when we engaged in the conversation, we were able to understand each other and talk freely on any topic. This made us not to feel obligated from talking about what is affecting us in our lives, as he shared freely with me about the kind of roommates he had at the hostel. This is clear indication of the closeness of the relationship and genuineness of the conversation which showed that he did not feel happy, and thus I proposed to offer him half of my room. The nature of relationship is also a key contextual factor in a conversation (Carsoelli, 2003). The assessment of the worth of relationship in a continuous course of action of self-reflection on the impact of the person is paramount so as to ensure preserving an entire presence, as well as an involved, strong and healthy relationship. The main goal of communication between two people is to understand the message being relayed. Anything that interferes with this can be referred to as ‘noise’; this can influence our interpretation of the message and significantly affect our perception of interactions with others (Levy, 1993).). Noise refers to influences that are made on effective communication, and it affects how conversations are interpreted by individuals. They are two types of noises internal and external. Internal noise occurs when your mind wanders away from specific task at hand and the person thinks of other stuff that is not related to the topic at hand and it only exist within an individual’s mindset (Grenny, 2009). Effective communication among individuals can arise in the presence of less production of the power of internal noise within the head. External noise involves sights of sound and other distraction stimuli that draw people’s attention away from what they are discussing and moves their attention to something else. In the conversation I had with Morris, there was a point I was distracted by internal noise, and this affected our conversation badly leading to interruption yet he had not yet finished talking. This resulted to my prejudging of what he intended to. In context, equal measures of outward considerations and the inward preparation of you may help to minimize the effects caused by internal noise (Wright, 2007). In conclusion, effective and ineffective communication skills are evident within our daily conversations. A communication occurs between individuals brought together by specific interests, and may have a certain relationship which determines the extent of the conversation. From the sample conversation, the nature of our friendship is mutual-caring, where we as friends show concern about each other. This led to us having good communication since good communication is the foundation of an enduring true friendship. Lack of effective communication among friends or close persons remains one of the biggest reasons why most individuals disagree in their friendship (Smart and Featheringham, 2006). Further, avoiding misunderstandings like when you assume what a friend is going to say and miss the actual point is very necessary to have an effective communication. References Carsoelli, M. (2003). Interpersonal skills. Mason, OH: South-Western. Donnely, E., & Neville, L. (2008). Communication and interpersonal skills. Exeter: Reflect Press. Greene, J. (2003). Handbook of communication and social interaction skills. Mahwah, N.J.: L Erlbauma Associates Grenny, J. (2009). Crucial conversations: The most potent force for eliminating disruptive behavior. Physician Executive. 35(6): 30-33. Levy, P. (1993). Interpersonal skills. London: Library Association Pub. Lynch, C., & Kidd, J. (2000). Early communication skills. (Repr. Ed.). Bicester: Winslow Press. Smart, K.L. and Featheringham, R. (2006). Developing effective interpersonal communication and discussion skills. Business Communication Quarterly. 69: 276-283. Sommers, M. (2008). Great interpersonal skills. New York: Rosen Pub Wright, B. (2007). Interpersonal skills. (New updated ed.). Keswick England: M & K. Zoppi, K. and Epstein, R.M. (2002). Is communication a skill? Communication behaviours and being in relation. Family Med. 34: 319-324. Appendix My Personal Transcript with a Friend The following is an interaction with my schoolmate Morris before attending the morning lecture. In the interaction am referred as “Curtis”. Curtis 1: (smiling) how are you? (Maintaining eye contact) Morris 1: Hi too, how have you been? (Still scrolling his phone) Curtis 2: I have been fine. Did you know the units you will be taking this semester? Morris 2: Yes, (making eye contact) but my timetable is so complicated, I have three morning classes from Monday to Wednesday. Curtis 3:( smiles) mine too am having morning classes on Tuesday and Thursday guess we will need alarm clocks to wake us up.(seems distracted) Morris 3: (Smiles) and those Friday classes that spoil a four day week. Curtis 4: (Interrupting Morris before he finishes talking) you want some coffee we still have like ten minutes before the classes begin. Morris 4: Uh, sure. Curtis 5: I’ll be right back. (He gets them coffee) Morris 5: Thank you. Curtis 6: Did you get a room around campus hostel or where are you staying? Morris 6: Yes am staying in hostel block A. Curtis 7: And you known with those roommates you are given Morris 7: Not really, we are strangers, it time we getting to know each other, everyone is busy with classes as we are in different study years. Curtis 8: Well I can sublet you a half of my room then. Morris 8: (Smiles) it’s almost class time let’s talk about this later. Curtis 9: (Excuses himself) okay see you later (Shakes hands) Read More

The technique of body language communication involves facial expressions and maintaining eye contact with the person you are having a conversation with. One should be aware of what your body language might communicate to the other party. An effective way to achieve this is by being aware and detecting the body languages in the other person (Sommers, 2008). Your body language should tell the same story as the words, in fact, majority of information transmitted during interpersonal interactions is through your body.

The body language from my friend was very important since it helped me to establish the relationship between the two of us and also be able to regulate the interaction. Facial expressions are also important when expressing emotions through the body. A simple smile from both of us indicated that we were in an agreement or approval of the message being heard. This technique helped in understanding what we were talking about in a very clear way and it helped both of us top indulge deeper on the contents of our conversation and avoided unnecessary repetition of what we were talking about.

The conversation between me and Morris also has instances of ineffective communication skills which could make it impossible for us to agree on some point. During our conversation for example conversation line 4, I interrupted my friend without excusing myself. This resulted to cutting short what Morris was relaying to me derailing the effectiveness of the communication process. Interrupting a communicator may make him or her think what they have is less important than what one is saying (Grenny, 2009), thus, resulting to denying the chance to give out their full idea of the conversation trail.

According to Levy (1993), it is highly recommended that when you are communicating with other people, take a pause after the person has finished before you speak. This will show that you were listening keenly to what he or she was talking about. The interruption that I made to my friend made him have less concern for what I was going to tell him next since he saw his opinion was not of great concern to the topic. It is also good to understand that other people have different points of view and thus, prudent to try and see things from their perspective since you may learn something from them (Zoppi and Epstein, 2002).

Another notable ineffective communication skill is being critical and negative about a topic (Lynch and Kidd, 2000). For instance, in our conversation, line 3 shows complain pertaining to the morning classes and how Friday will ruin a four day week lecture. If you have negative attitude over other people’s plan, ideas or work this may lead to one having a detrimental effect on that topic (Smart and Featheringham, 2006). Negative attitude makes a conversation not to be lively since both parties will not talk something positive about the topic.

Avoiding negativity in a conversation makes the topic under discussion to be lively since something good about it is being expressed by the involved parties (Grenny, 2009). Also if you remain positive in a whole conversation, it will draw the attention of the person you are talking to, and he will follow the conversation attentively. The context in communication refers to the physical environmental surrounding, as well as the framework of related facts and events within which communication takes place (Wright, 2007).

Mostly these factors affect the way a person thinks about that message and the way he or she will decode it to be understood by the recipient. Contextual factors such as the history of the relationship between the people involved in a conversation, and the nature of their relationship, coupled with features surrounding a piece of communication are context (Sommers, 2008). In the conversation I had with Morris, there is a history of the relationship between us, he is my friend and we have known each other since joining college, and he is also my school mate and hence we have a history together.

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