The Importance of Interpersonal Communication Skills - Essay Example

Topic: Lecturer: Presentation: Introduction In order for an individual to be capable of solving problems effectively, he/she is required to read the thoughts of others, while they too should be able to read his/her thoughts and also possess the capability of precisely label and state such thoughts. These skills are significant in upholding social and emotional learning. Social skills are also important in the enhancement of lasting relationships between young people who suffer from disabilities and their peers in school. Through these skills, they are capable of performing effectively like the other youth. They also start to effectively discover the roles of adults in the society such as relationships with others in the work place and also their place in the community. Among adults, social skills are significant in upholding strong relationships at family level as well as with peers. This helps in developing problem solving skills that are significant in conflict resolution. In adolescents, the social skills are known to positively impact on their performance in school (Gladding 2006 p 61). Those who possess these skills are likely to establish friendship with peers and are more tolerable to others. They are also known to do well in school due to the tendency of developing strong attentiveness in education. Self Discloser in Development and Maintenance of Long Term Relationships The process of developing strong friendship from a normal association usually takes long. People usually find it difficult to link and preserve their relationship with associates, regardless of whether the relationship is nonsexual or romantic. Maintenance of social bonds is usually difficult particularly when people are not bound together by day to day activities such as occupation, family duties or institutions where people share common values and beliefs. Through self disclosure, personal information is shared with other people, leading to the development of intimacy as well as strong interpersonal connections. In other words, it involves provision of information to others, which they may not be able to find out on their own (Roberts 2005 p 46). At certain times, self disclosure involves taking risks by the individual who shares private information with others. This is because the information may be damaging especially when revealed to inappropriate persons who might be unable to keep it to themselves. For example, a person disclosing personal information about various challenges encountered in life would certainly expect it to be between him/her and the recipient of the information. It helps the other person to acquire information about the one who discloses information, thereby helping him to be capable of making predictions concerning the feelings and opinions of the individual. It happens that both persons have to disclose personal information to each other, a situation that binds them together, a condition that (Roberts 2005 p 47) refers to as the custom of reciprocity. Reciprocated disclosure helps in strengthening trust in friendship, and also generates understanding between people. It also generates good feelings when a friend understands and accepts what the other person discloses to them. No person engages in self disclosure expecting rejection. It can be frustrating when a person’s views are not accepted. This is normal since it is not at all times that a person will receive approval. There is usually the risk of the other person dominating the friendship due to the information due to possession of crucial information concerning the other. Some people may tend to use the information acquired through self disclosure to intimidate their peers. In order to avoid such circumstances, it is important to ensure that a person discloses information only to a certain extent and also ensuring that a relationship grows considerably in order to disclose personal information. Early self disclosure may break the relationship (Gladding 2006 p 69). This means that its purpose is to strengthen an existing relationship, but not to serve as the basis for beginning the friendship. Friends usually become intimate through elf disclosure. It forms the core of intimacy, especially when it is reciprocated and appropriate. The theory of social exchange explains the costs and benefits of engaging in self disclosure. In many situations, self disclosure usually takes place in the course of the development of friendship. It may happen in the early stages, but mainly takes place in later stages of the development of friendship. While revealing personal information to other people, it can occur consciously or unconsciously. People tend to disclose information regarding personal goals in life, disappointments, fears, success stories and personal feelings amongst others (Brent 2007 p 110). They are usually careful to avoid disclosing personal information to the wrong people, who in this sense are those who can use it maliciously. Self disclosure may be limited to people who are trusted or those who have been assessed to be fit for friendship. It is mainly enhanced by trust and the desire to know other people well. This is because of the assumption that once an individual discloses information to the other, they will reciprocate. On the other hand, if a person is unwilling to engage in self disclosure, the other party may also tend to withhold personal information. In such a case, the relationship may not be strong, especially if personal information is to be discovered by a close friend through other sources. Under such circumstances, people tend to feel that their friends do not trust them. Some may even wonder why their friends have taken so long to disclose such information to them. It may lead to suspicion in friendship. It is therefore important not to overlook self disclosure in relationships (Copeland and Mead 2004 p 56). Self disclosure helps a person to offer assistance to a friend especially in regard to matters that require counseling. Once a person discloses information to a friend who listens carefully, he/she can be assisted in visualizing issues from different perspectives. This is core to problem solving between friends. A person becomes capable of evaluating different alternative that were otherwise not in the mind. This is usually critical to making crucial decisions in life. According to Reamer (2003 p 122), self disclosure usually diminishes when the relationship becomes lengthened. However, the earlier self disclosure still helps in maintaining the relationship. In a relationship between two sexes, self disclosure in regard to the likes and dislikes helps in filling the gap that generates dissatisfaction between partners. It helps couples to harmonize their contrasting preferences, which is a recipe for enhancement of sexual satisfaction and reduction of sexual costs (Roberts 2005 p 59). This can only be accomplished through effective self disclosure in regard to personal preferences as well as the ability of both partners to understand such disclosures and act in positive response. In long term friendships, self disclosure is significant in reducing loneliness amongst partners. It has been established through research that the manner in which one partner responds to self disclosure by the other is significant in helping them to solve the problem of loneliness. The most critical part of self disclosure is acceptance. The major factor that causes loneliness is negative feelings related to failures encountered in the day to day life of a person. Once such a person finds empathy in a friend after self disclosure, the feelings of loneliness can easily be dealt with. This helps in building intimacy between friends. On the other hand, if self disclosure is rejected, it intensifies loneliness. The fear of rejection tends to make people hesitate in regard to self disclosure (Reamer 2003 p 123). The development of social skills in a person is important in enhancing satisfaction in life. Interpersonal skills are crucial in helping a person to seek assistance from others especially when faced with crisis. Friends are significant in influencing the behavior of a person as well as his views towards certain aspects of life. They are significant in the provision of emotional support especially when one is faced with predicaments that are likely to cause loneliness. They help in generating the understanding that a person’s life is meaningful. Social skills enable a person to establish essential friendship. This is facilitated by self disclosure that is important in creating understanding between friends (Copeland and Mead 2004 p 65). A person is required to be willing to disclose personal information in order to develop intimacy with others. This forms the basis of the development of strong personality and social skills. Research indicates that people who engage in self disclosures are usually contented with their own self, they demonstrate a high level of being adaptable, they are competent, understanding, and sociable. They also demonstrate trust towards other people. Those who do not self-disclose lack these social skills that are essential for harmonious living in the society (Reamer 2003 p 124). When a person tells others about him/herself, there is a possibility of generating a strong feedback circle, which entails self disclosure, companionship and personal acceptance. Revealing a person’s intimate feelings to friends is a form of demonstration of his/her reaction towards them, which helps in strengthening the relationship. It also demonstrates that a person accepts the feelings and opinions of friends. Naturally, when people demonstrate acceptance to a person, he is likely to develop self acceptance. Once an individual engages in self disclosure, he is likely to develop better feelings than before, which makes him reveal even more personal information. This facilitates more intimate interactions with others. When someone fails to disclose personal information to friends, he/she tends to conceal his/her genuine self from them. As a result, there is a tendency to feel shame especially for the fear of chances that friends might discover what a person has been concealing about oneself. Under such conditions, an individual is unlikely to be able to solve personal problems (Copeland and Mead 2004 p 72). Social skills are important in the avoidance of withdrawal, loneliness and aggravation of a person’s problems. Social skills are also important for educators to be able to involve learners in cooperative learning. These skills need to be acquired by students in order for teachers to understand the problems that they face; hence they can develop strategies to solve them. Self disclosure is important in developing a long term relationship between teachers and students (Brent 2007 p 104). This can enable the teachers to understand learning needs amongst students. In regard to community life, it is important to develop social skills that promote harmonious living. Conclusion The development of social skills is important for people to develop the capability of interacting with others. This is facilitated by self disclosure, which is a factor that makes people feel better and also understand the expectations of others as well as demonstrating acceptance of their feelings and opinions. Self disclosure is important in generating self acceptance especially when friends respond positively to it. Nevertheless, it is important to evaluate a person before disclosing personal information. More over, people need to avoid too early self disclosure since it might lead to rejection. It should mainly be used to strengthen a relationship rather than starting one. Social skills are essential in developing long term relationships between teachers and students as well as amongst people within the community in general. Self disclosure is therefore important in generating social harmony. Bibliography 1. Brent S. The intention and reflection model of self-disclosure: social work education for student identity management in gay men. Journal on Social Work and Education 3.5 (2007): 99 - 112. 2. Copeland, M. E. and Mead, S. Wellness recovery action plan & peer support, West Dummerston, VT: Peach Press, 2004. 3. Gladding, S.T. Counseling: A Comprehensive Profession. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2006. 4. Reamer F. G. Boundary issues in social work: Managing dual relationships. Journal on Social Work, 48.1 (2003): 121-133. 5. Roberts J. Transparency and self-disclosure in family therapy: Dangers and possibilities. Journal on Family Process 44.1 (2005): 45-64. Read More