Stages of Loss and Grief - Case Study Example

THE STAGES OF LOSS AND GRIEF Name: Number: Institution: Instructor: Date: Abstract Often times in life we all feel loss and therefore, we must find a way to cope with it. Loss is a universal human experience. In fact, one of the most painful parts of life is a loss; it can be the loss of friends, family members, important property or the job. Usually, grief and loss obeys a linear relationship-the closer the lost person, the deeper the grief (Neimeyer 1998, p. 24). Grieving is a very personal experience for everyone. Determining the words to explain the loss, telling the words loudly and the consolation that the words reach a listening hear form the major needs of the griever (Neeld 1992, p. 98). No one should instruct how to grieve, no formulae should be put in place to model grief and grief knows no experience. This assignment simply outlines Billy’s experience of grieving and the stages he underwent after losing his father in a road accident. Introduction Grief is a normal internal feeling of intense sorrow one experiences in reaction to a loss; a loss of a family member, a loss of a friend, a loss of his property or even a breakup in a relationship. There are two main types of grieve: the prolonged grief (complicated grief) and anticipatory grief. Prolonged grief is whereby the reaction to loss lasts for more than a full year. It is usually characterized by the intensity of grief increasing rapidly with time. Close relations are wrecked as the griever’s beliefs dim off; this lengthens the feeling of absence of the decease by the griever. On the other hand, anticipatory grief is suffered by people on realizing that the persons they love most are seriously ill. It usually occurs before death. By analysing Billy’s scenario, this paper seeks to justify a thesis that ‘grieving is a process that adopts four emotional stages and each stage creates behavioural changes to the bereaved. Social practitioners should appropriately intervene in the process to effectively work on the particular situation. Main body Overview of Billy’s scenario After losing his father in a road accident, Billy undergoes a process of grief. He does not want to accept the fact that his father is dead. His behaviour changes as a result, he becomes withdrawn, angry, alienated and sulky. The paper analyses this scenario based on Worden’s theory of “tasks of grief”. Stages of grief The paper describes the grieving process in four emotional stages based on Worden’s framework of “Tasks of Grief” (Kopp 1985, p. 120). Although these stages may not adopt the linear order as the assignment outlines, one fact remains-the bereaved has to experience emotions in each of the four stages (Neeld 1992, p. 102). In reality, it is not easy to realize the order of the tasks of grief. However, it is imperative to note that these tasks happen once and one at a time within the emotional life of the bereaved. Although one may experience loop backs or mixed emotional feelings, the impact of each ‘grief task’ occurs at its time (Worden 1991, p. 100). Based on Worden’s theory, the paper develops four main stages undergone by Billy in his grief for loss of his father. These include the shock and disbelief stage, the anger/and painful stage, the intervention stage and finally the acceptance stage (Bozarth 1994, p. 75. The assignment derived these stages from the Worden’s theory of “Tasks of Grief” (Worden 1991, p. 120). The shock and disbelief stage This stage depicts the first reaction of the bereaved to the news of the loss of their loved ones. As the Billy’ scenario illustrates, shock, denial, disbelief and numbness characterize this stage (Worden 1991, p. 123). According to Bozarth (1994), this stage is a temporal defence for the bereaved (p. 72). Billy’s persistent plea God for return for his father clearly manifests his disbelief to the death of his father. Billy is indeed temporally defending his position that his father is alright. The Billy’s emotions are in concurrent to Worden (1991) assertions that “during this stage one feels emotionally shut” (p. 121). In this stage, one lives withdrawn, alienated and unhappy. The case illustrates Billy’s change in behaviour, that is, from happy to sad and withdrawn individual. For the case of Billy, the death is deniable. Billy refuses to believe and accept that his father has actually passed on. He tries hard in his mind to tell himself that life is as before the loss and nothing has taken place. In fact, he is prepared to welcome his father back home from hospital because he believes the father will recuperate. In regard to the stated thesis, Billy’s behaviour has significantly changed, hence justification of the argument. The anger/and painful stage As the time elapses, the bereaved starts, to realize the reality for the loss. In this stage, the individual realizes that disbelief and numbness cannot last forever and partially begins to accept the loss (Worden 1991, p. 121). Psychologists sometime refer this process to as the confrontation stage. The individual starts to face the reality but with anger and pain. In fact, according to Worden (1991), the behaviour changes to anger, envy and pain (p. 125). Billy evidences this fact in several ways. He gets angry with himself and blames himself for the loss of his father. It is indeed painful deep in Billy’s conscience as the emotional outbursts manifests. As Worden (1991) observes, during this stage many painful question goes through the mind of the bereaved (p. 120). Questions such as “why me?”, "How can this happen to me?" and '"Who is to blame?" (Worden 1991, p. 127) usually rock the mind of the bereaved. Emotional and behavioural characteristics of this stage include social withdrawal, depression, loss in weight, anger, dreams, lack of sleep, feeling of tiredness and weakness, among others (Colgrove 1976, p. 112). In the anger stage, Billy gets angry with himself. The anger is manifested in so many ways. Billy is having emotional outbursts and this can be showed from the way he is sulking all day. We can also see Billy blaming himself for the death of his father simply because they had an argument the previous day. Billy has found himself in an apologetic mood; he is apologizing to his family that he is the one responsible for the death of his father. These behaviours indicate his deep anger and pain for the loss. The stage depicts Billy’s change in behaviour from happy, lively and social to angry, painful and withdrawn. His involvement into chores is no longer important to him. That is why the case does not illustrate Billy’s association with the rest of the family members. Billy does not get enough sleep; he spends all the night pleading for God’s mercy upon him and return of his father. The intervention/adjustment struggle stage In this stage, the individual has painfully agreed the loss of their loved ones. Self-bargaining critically characterizes this stage. The bereaved struggles to adjust to life without the deceased. Worden (1991) noted that “The individual struggles with all the changes that happen because of the loss of the loved one” (p. 129). It is one’s intervention to bring back his/her life to normal. There is emotional struggle within the individual on the adoption for life without the deceased or after the loss. Also for the case of Billy, he struggles with himself through the gods; we are told that ‘every night Billy pleads with god that he will never cause grief to his parents again’. In this illustration, Billy tries to struggle on how to live without the father. Although he has painfully accepted the loss of his father, Billy worry is that the society may blame him for the loss. How will he then live? He vows to God to never cause grief to his parent(s), in this case the mother. With the father dead, Billy struggles to live a more cautious life. However, without appropriate intervention by the social workers, this may lead to depression. According to Worden’s theory, permanent or temporal behavioural changes characterize this stage of grief (Worden 1991, p. 129). As for Billy’s case, he purportedly vows to God to become a more careful person so a not to cause grief to the family again. The stage enables the bereaved to undergo ‘self comprehension’ in life. For instance, as the only male figure in hi family, Billy must know which roles of his lost father he is likely to assume. In this way, he will comprehend further into his capabilities. The acceptance stage This is the final stage of the process of grieving. Scholars sometimes refer to it as the “energy reinvestment stage” of grieving (Worden 1991, p. 122). It is when the bereaved realises that life has to go on and he should indeed move on with one’s life. According to Worden’s framework, the bereaved should “reinvest energy in life, loosen ties to the deceased and forge a new way of relationship with the deceased based on memory, spirit and love” (Worden 1991, p. 125). Instead of memory that leads to grief and anger/pain, the bereaved should celebrate the life and moments of the lost. Although the memories of the lost one might not have fainted fully, it is at this stage that one has to accept the fact that the dead is no more (Tatlebaum 1980, p. 38). The case of Billy apparently evidences this stage. For the case of Billy, this stage seems will last for a longer time. It seems it will take time before he accepts the fact that his father died and consequently move on with his life. First hand memories of the incidence of the accident may also contribute to the slow healing. According to Kopp (1985) memory entails persistence with doings which you cherish, your being and those that losing them is counted an impossibility (p.13) Complicated grief Prolonged grief is whereby the reaction to loss lasts for more than a full year. It is usually characterized by the intensity of grief increasing rapidly with time. The prolonged grief is a result of sediments of grief left after the person suffered a loss (Kopp 1985, p. 129). Critical examination of Billy’s scenario leads to cognitive conclusion that the scenario represents a complicated grief. Billy’s withdrawal from the rest of the family members manifests this kind of grief. It is challenging to identify and deal with this kind of grief. Although people say time heals, Billy’s memories, based on Worden’s theory, will trigger him back into the overwhelming pain associated with the loss of his father. This may be after so many years, but he will forever remind himself that he must be the one responsible for his father’s death. Because of the psychological complexities associated with grief; his memories of the event leading to loss of his father will remain a reality in his life. Complicated grief results into behavioural changes; permanent and temporal of the bereaved. According to Worden’s framework, there are various ‘tasks’ that manifest the grief. These may include bullying, depressions, violence, rage, fatigue, headache, irritability, acting out of behaviour, anxiety, eating disorders, fights, isolation, learning difficulties, post traumatic stress disorder, perfectionism, suicide and or homicide (Worden 1991, p. 131). As per Billy’s case, he will remain more careful in life to avoid a repeat of such grief. In fact, the grief will be everlasting since his father’s car will remain as a beacon for a reminder of his father’s loss. Therefore, Billy’s scenario illustrates a complicated grief. The interventions that a practitioner can use Based on the Worden’s framework of “grief tasks”, the paper identifies several interventions that social practitioners may use to help Billy during the grieving process. The first strategy is to create ‘self-understanding’ to the bereaved person. Self-understanding acquaints the individuals with the reality of loss of their loved ones. The social worker should let the individuals to express their immediate feelings of response to the loss. Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss and grief. In fact, crying helps to release the emotional anger and pain. The worker should inform the bereaved that crying is not a weakness. In this way, the bereaved acquaints themselves with the ‘painful situations’. Engaging Billy in this practice would practically help him to accept the loss of his father. Secondly, the social worker should trick the psychology of the bereaved by involving them into comic situations. This creates comic relief and slowly acquaints the bereaved to the loss. Billy’s family and friends should engage him in this type of practice in the quest of quick normalization (Colgrove, 1976). Thirdly, the social worker should engage the Bereaved into activities that celebrate the life of the lost. This strategy is possible for prolonged grief. It is not possible to erase the memories of the loss in the mind of the bereaved. To enhance life and happiness to the bereaved, the social worker should encourage memories of celebration for the dead. Encouraging memories on the achievements and goals of the deceased could lead to the accomplishment of this strategy. Billy should focus on the achievements of his father rather than on the events of his death. This strategy indeed suppresses the feelings of anger and pain experienced in the second layer of loss (Kopp, 1985). Fourth, the social workers should encourage the bereaved to interact and share with friends. This strategy provides the bereaved with support from the other people. First of all, Billy must turn to friends and family members to provide him with strength. In fact, his mother understands that he is not the cause of his father’s death. The strategy provides the bereaved with a platform for sharing their sorrows with others who have experienced similar losses. Fifth, grief counselling provides the bereaved some professional assistance from the practitioner. The social workers, in this strategy, deploy professional tools of sociology and psychology to help an individual to cope with the grief. It basically includes thinking creatively about the challenges and the ways of coping up with these challenges (Neimeyer 1998, p. 124 ). Some of these challenges that the social workers address during grief counselling are: disorganization, tiredness, trouble in concentration and loss in appetite (Larson, 2007). After the burial of the father, it is advisable to take Billy to grief counsellors to help him in the recovery process. Grief therapy is the final strategy that social workers should deploy to intervene the process of grief. It involves the use of clinic equipments to deal with a persistent form of grief (Worden 1991, p. 113). The main aim of grief therapy is to solve the psychological and emotional effects of grief. If Billy takes a long time to reach the acceptance stage, unable to perform his daily activities, or wish he died with his father; it is advisable that his family resolves to look for a grief therapist to help him heal from it (Neimeyer 1998, p. 87 ). In this way, the workers strive to normalize the behaviour of Billy (bereaved). This strategy is appropriate during the third stage to enhance Billy’s acceptance of the loss (Lilienfeld 2007, p. 21). Conclusion The paper analyses the Billy’s scenario using the Worden’s framework. There are four main stages of grieving for a loss in regard to Worden’s framework of grief. These include the shock stage, the anger/painful stage, the self--intervention stage and the acceptance/adjustment stage. In the shock stage, one refuses to believe the loss. The pain during the anger stage is a result of disbelief of the loss. In the self-intervention stage, one bargains within themselves and pleas to gods. The stage may lead to depression if proper intervention lacks. In the aforementioned stages, considerable changes in behaviour take place. Billy, for instance, changes from being a lively and happy boy to a withdrawn and angry boy. It is therefore, justifiable that grieving is a process that adopts four emotional stages and each stage creates behavioural changes to the bereaved. Social practitioners should appropriately intervene in the process to effectively work on a particular situation’. Social intervention by the practitioners to normalize the behaviour of the Bereaved leads to the acceptance stage. In this stage, the individuals accept the loss and use the memories of the deceased to celebrate their lives. The paper identified six grief intervention strategies: Creation individuals’ self-understanding, psychological tricks, celebration activities to forget the pains of the loss, encouraging interaction, and counselling and grief therapy. These measures would significantly assist Billy through his grief for loss of his father. References Bozarth, A. R., 1994. A journey through grief. Hazelden. Colgrove, M. H., 1976. How to survive the loss of a love. New York : Leo Press. Kopp, R., 1985. When Someone You Love is Dying . Grand Rapids. MI: Zondervan. Larson, D., 2007. What has become of grief counseling? En evaluation of the empirical foundations of the new pessimism. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 38 (4), pp. 347–355. Neeld, E., 1992. Seven Choices: Taking the Steps to a New Life after Losing Someone You Love. New York: Delacorte. Neimeyer, R., 1998. Lessons of Loss: A Guide to Coping. New York: McGraw-Hill. Tatlebaum, J., 1980. The courage to grieve. New York : Lippincott and Crowel. Worden, J. W., 1991. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy (2nd ed.). New York: Springer. Read More

The paper analyses this scenario based on Worden’s theory of “tasks of grief”. Stages of grief The paper describes the grieving process in four emotional stages based on Worden’s framework of “Tasks of Grief” (Kopp 1985, p. 120). Although these stages may not adopt the linear order as the assignment outlines, one fact remains-the bereaved has to experience emotions in each of the four stages (Neeld 1992, p. 102). In reality, it is not easy to realize the order of the tasks of grief.

However, it is imperative to note that these tasks happen once and one at a time within the emotional life of the bereaved. Although one may experience loop backs or mixed emotional feelings, the impact of each ‘grief task’ occurs at its time (Worden 1991, p. 100). Based on Worden’s theory, the paper develops four main stages undergone by Billy in his grief for loss of his father. These include the shock and disbelief stage, the anger/and painful stage, the intervention stage and finally the acceptance stage (Bozarth 1994, p. 75. The assignment derived these stages from the Worden’s theory of “Tasks of Grief” (Worden 1991, p. 120). The shock and disbelief stage This stage depicts the first reaction of the bereaved to the news of the loss of their loved ones.

As the Billy’ scenario illustrates, shock, denial, disbelief and numbness characterize this stage (Worden 1991, p. 123). According to Bozarth (1994), this stage is a temporal defence for the bereaved (p. 72). Billy’s persistent plea God for return for his father clearly manifests his disbelief to the death of his father. Billy is indeed temporally defending his position that his father is alright. The Billy’s emotions are in concurrent to Worden (1991) assertions that “during this stage one feels emotionally shut” (p. 121). In this stage, one lives withdrawn, alienated and unhappy.

The case illustrates Billy’s change in behaviour, that is, from happy to sad and withdrawn individual. For the case of Billy, the death is deniable. Billy refuses to believe and accept that his father has actually passed on. He tries hard in his mind to tell himself that life is as before the loss and nothing has taken place. In fact, he is prepared to welcome his father back home from hospital because he believes the father will recuperate. In regard to the stated thesis, Billy’s behaviour has significantly changed, hence justification of the argument.

The anger/and painful stage As the time elapses, the bereaved starts, to realize the reality for the loss. In this stage, the individual realizes that disbelief and numbness cannot last forever and partially begins to accept the loss (Worden 1991, p. 121). Psychologists sometime refer this process to as the confrontation stage. The individual starts to face the reality but with anger and pain. In fact, according to Worden (1991), the behaviour changes to anger, envy and pain (p. 125). Billy evidences this fact in several ways.

He gets angry with himself and blames himself for the loss of his father. It is indeed painful deep in Billy’s conscience as the emotional outbursts manifests. As Worden (1991) observes, during this stage many painful question goes through the mind of the bereaved (p. 120). Questions such as “why me?”, "How can this happen to me?" and '"Who is to blame?" (Worden 1991, p. 127) usually rock the mind of the bereaved. Emotional and behavioural characteristics of this stage include social withdrawal, depression, loss in weight, anger, dreams, lack of sleep, feeling of tiredness and weakness, among others (Colgrove 1976, p. 112). In the anger stage, Billy gets angry with himself.

The anger is manifested in so many ways. Billy is having emotional outbursts and this can be showed from the way he is sulking all day. We can also see Billy blaming himself for the death of his father simply because they had an argument the previous day. Billy has found himself in an apologetic mood; he is apologizing to his family that he is the one responsible for the death of his father.

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