Kubler-Ross Stages of Grief - Research Paper Example

According to Kubler-Ross (2005), individuals who are dying or have lost somebody go through five stages of grief – denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. The story of Job illustrates some of these concepts. Moreover, nurses must also be aware of these concepts, so that they can help others through the grieving process, as well as help themselves when faced with difficult situations. This paper illustrates the concepts, comparing Kubler-Ross’ Stages of Grief to the Story of Job, as well as explaining how nurses can use Kubler-Ross’ concepts to help themselves. Introduction In Kubler-Ross’ estimation, grieving individuals go through five different stages. The first stage is denial. Kubler-Ross explains that, in this stage, the person who is dying or the person is about to lose somebody, or has lost somebody, denies that there is anything wrong. A dying person might, for instance, go about his or her business and deny that he or she has a terminal illness. The person who has lost a loved one has symbolic denial – the person cannot believe that the lost individual will not just walk through the door at any moment. Alternatively, the individual might tell him or herself that the lost individual is away on a trip. Kubler-Ross explains that when an individual is in denial of a death of a loved one that the individual feels a numbness or might be paralyzed with shock (Kubler-Ross, 2005). Kubler-Ross (2005) tells the story of Alicia, who lost her husband on a business trip. Alicia could just not believe that it occurred, and felt that the phone call regarding her husband’s death had to have been a dream. Alicia also felt that when the body arrived to be buried that it would not be him, and did not believe that the body was his until she saw his wedding ring. Another example of this would be Claudia in the book Love You Mean It (Carrington et al., 2006). Claudia lost her husband on 9/11, and, as she explained, even though in the beginning days the situation seemed grim, in that her husband did not return from work, Claudia was convinced that her husband was somewhere in the city with amnesia. She stated that when friends and family began to gather at her house that nobody was welcomed in the door unless they believed that her husband was alive. Anger is the next step in the process, and Kubler-Ross (2005) explains that anger may not be rational. The individual might be angry with the loved one for not taking better care of him or herself. Or, the person might be angry about being left behind. Kubler-Ross (2005) explains that anger is the first emotion that one feels after the denial has abated. Very often the sense of anger comes from a sense of unfairness – “I did everything right, how can I have this disease?” Bargaining is next, and this is where the person makes promises to God, and then, after the person is dead, the person relives the death and tries to change the event in his or her mind. Depression comes after this, and this when the individual feels empty and has problems going through daily activities. Acceptance is the last stage, and this is when the person realizes the new reality about their lives without their loved one. Discussion In relating Kubler-Ross’ grief stages to Job’s suffering, it is clear that Job did not go through the grief stages. Even though Job had all of his possessions destroyed, and all of his children were killed, Job did not experience anger. The largest part of the story is that Job did not curse God, and these tragedies were his test as to whether he would turn against God. If Job would have cursed God, then this would be Job displaying anger. As for acceptance, Job appeared to accept his calamities, for he lived his life with equanimity and, even though his wife and his friends attempted to turn him away from God, Job was resolute. He knew that God had a larger plan for him, so he was able to accept what happened to him. It could be argued that Job experienced denial, in that he believed, against all evidence to the contrary, that he would receive good from God. Job appeared to suffer from depression as well, as he sat for seven days without saying one word, and then when he did speak, he cursed the day that he was born. This shows that was disinterested in communicating with the world, which is a sign of depression. There is not evidence that Job bargained with God to have a better life. Job, in the end, was joyful because he was finally able to see God’s plan and how God ways are beyond human logic, so Job is able to come to a new underfstanding of God, and his own presumptions and imperfections regarding God (Cooper, 1987). Grief and joy are intertwined in everyday life as well. For instance, Bissell (2001) states that in the acceptance stage the individual may experience peace and calm, and that grief is transformative. Bissell (2001) states that grieving is one way for the individual to get an accurate look at him or herself and be able to discard what is not beneficial to spiritual growth. Kubler-Ross (1972) states that acceptance is transformative, in that the dying person no longer experiences fear, so the person experiences joy and elation at this point. My research on grieving has led me to articles which focus upon caregiver grieving. For instance, Egan & Arnold (2003) see grief as being transformative, which links the process to joy as well. They state that nurses and caregivers may help dying patients and their families by adopting the Patient and Family Value-Directed Model of Care. In this model, grief is accepted as normal, and patients and their families are guided through it. It also emphasizes prevention, in that the bereavement counseling is given before the death. The survivor is focused on as the most important person who is in need of care. Also, it emphasizes looking interdimensionally so that all aspects of grieving are addressed. Similarly, LaPorte Matzo et al. (2003) states that nurses can teach strategies for coping with loss, grief and bereavement. At the same time, the nurses and caregivers may use these strategies to cope with their own sense of grief regarding losing patients. The article surmises that the nursing curriculum should include a course on coping with grief, using stories, testimonials, poetry and pictures to illustrate grieving situations, and the nurses can learn to cope with grief by using these situations. This particular article was helpful in how I personally handle grief, because, as a caregiver, I realize that I will be surrounded by death. Previously, caregivers were taught to conceal their emotions, but this article encourages the expression of emotions and recommends that nurses be given concrete strategies for dealing with grieving. This is the best recommendation, because strategies are necessary so that grieving does not overwhelm nurses and caregivers. Moreover, the Egan and Arnold (2003) article was also helpful, because it explains how grief can be transformative and how an individual can be changed for the better through grieving. Bibliography Bissell, L. (2001) Am I depressed, or did I lose something? Available at: http://www.ce-credit.com/articles/100849/GriefChristianPsychology.pdf Carrington, P., Collins, J., Gerbasi, C. & Haynes, A. (2006) Love you mean it: A true story of love, loss and friendship. New York, NY: Hyperion. Cooper, H. (1987) Job’s illness: Loss, grief and integration. Psychiatric Bulletin, 11, 249-250. Egan, K. (2003) Grief and bereavement care. American Journal of Nursing, 103(9), 42-52. Kubler-Ross, E. , Wessler, S. & Avioli, L. (1972) On death and dying. JAMA, 221(2), 174-179. Kubler-Ross, E. & Kessler, D. (2005) On Grief and Grieving. New York, NY: Scribner. Maciejewski, P., Zhang, B., Block, S. & Prigerson, H. (2007) An empirical examination of the stage theory of grief. JAMA, 297(7), 716-723. Matzo, M., Sherman, D., Lo, K., Egan, K., Grant, M. & Rhome, A. (2003) Strategies for teaching loss, grief and bereavement. Nurse Educator, 28(2), 71-76. Read More