Letter of Advice on Interpersonal Communication - Essay Example

? Letter of advice on interpersonal communication here Psychology January 25, January 25, Dear Michelle and Dindo, Let me give you an advice to enrich your life through interpersonal communications because it affects your relations not only with your family but also with the people around you. Sometimes it defines the success of your relations and it would even cost your job. I am sure you do not want this to happen. You are still young and you can do something to improve your interpersonal relations. Do you know that there are several things to consider in having an effective interpersonal communication? Let me start with barriers that prevent interpersonal interactions as you may have experienced in your work place. Ivanov 2011 has identified these barriers and I would like to relate them to you. 1. Barriers to effective interpersonal communications. First is the physical barrier. Physical barriers are the lack of physical proximity and lack of access to technical communication. How else can you communicate to the boss when the door is shut or when you lack access to communications. In situations like this, think of ways how you can approach and talk to the boss to have an interpersonal relations. Fortunately, today, we have technical gadgets to be able to communicate. When the door is closed, try the internet connections, e-mail, or Skype; ask for an appointment to reach the boss so that you can tell him what you want. Second barrier is the emotional barrier. Emotional barrier is characterized by fear, lack of trust, and nervousness when trying to make interpersonal communications. I hope you do not suffer from this feeling. Because this is a situation wherein you do not trust anybody with your feelings or ideas because you fear that they will laugh at you. Ivamov (2011) gives the closed door of the boss as an example of both as interpersonal and emotional barrier because it appears you are not welcome. Third barrier is cultural and language barriers. You should understand we have come to the age of globalization and we will meet different people of different tongues and culture. You should know that there are differences in culture and behavior, and should not be offended when they behave differently from you. Sometimes because of language barriers you find it difficult to communicate and because of this fear you try to avoid talking to them. Ivamov also explains that it is natural thing for men and women to have different ways of communicating that most often cause misunderstanding. He said that women use softer statements than men and that become a cause of misunderstanding. The study of Drs. Gupta, et al. (2003) showed language barriers had been a significant issue in communicating to health care patients. As shown in this study due to the increasing number of immigrants coming from Latin America, Asia and Europe to the US, ethnic communities are formed, thereby creating diversity in culture and language. California is cited as the most ethnically and linguistically diverse state in the US. This belief is reinforced in the Medical News Today (Sept. 2009) saying that language barriers in health settings can compromise quality of care and increase cost and inefficiencies. Michael Leary, (2005) in his study of interpersonal skills used by diplomats in the United Nations in conducting multilateral diplomacy saw that the barriers to effective communication are cultural differences, age, gender, race and religion. These barriers were reduced by diplomatic relation and trusting relationships between diplomats representing different nations. I hope you do not experience fourth barrier which is the social anxiety. According to Dr Richard Thomas, a Psychologist, social anxiety is a kind of uncomfortable feeling when faced with circumstances like being nervous when facing authoritative figure, facing an interview or simply meeting person you feel is better than you. I hope you have not experienced the feeling of hating to attend meetings because just talking in front of co workers raises your anxiety. It is a kind of social phobia wherein you become totally nervous; you fear that everybody would think less of you. Suddenly, there is a lump in your throat and you do not know anymore what you are saying, and therefore the situation prevents effective communication. Don’t fear because you are not alone in this situation. Dr Richard states in his research that there are about 15 million Americans who are affected by social anxiety. And this not something to ashamed of because it is curable. 2. Strategies For active, critical, and empathic listening. The next thing that I would like to tell you is the importance of the art of listening and the best way to communicate better is to become a good listener first. Do you know that you could be a good listener if you follow these important tips in developing good listening skill and if you lack that skills there are ways in which you could develop it? Here are some tips that I would like to share with you. As gathered from Money Instructor.com, first, when talking to somebody, you should listen to what he is saying and repeat important information that he said to you. This would only show that you are actually listening and you will have a point of conversation. Second is writing down or taking down notes. When you are in a meeting, interview or sales call, it would help you to take down notes. Do not commit everything to memory. When you write down notes, you will be amazed on how much information is retained. When it is one on one meeting, it would be helpful if you maintain eye to eye contact with the speaker. It would help if you clarify statements and assure the speaker that you understand him/her. For example, you can interrupt to raise an important point. This will help both of you to focus on the topic. When someone wants to talk to you whether it is for business or personal nature, you must try to avoid distractions. You must turn off your cell phone radios, TV, and you must try to make yourself and the speaker comfortable. Also when listening, listen with your heart and not with your head, this way, you will be listening more clearly because you develop an empathy to the speaker and you are no longer thinking of yourself. To become an effective listener, you must practice and practice as this will deepen your interpersonal relationships and you will be known as an emphatic listener. It is not embarrassing to ask questions because it will show the speaker that you are really interested to what he is saying. Lastly, to become an effective listener, you should know when to open your ears, keep your mouth shut and you should learn to open your heart. 3.Process by which self-concept is developed and maintained In pursuing your journey in life and in your work, it is important that you should know yourself. I would like to explain to you the relevance of self concept, how it is developed and maintained as I believe it is essential that you know your own personality traits. Mayfield, Clifton defines self concept “as a collection of traits and values used by an individual for the purpose of defining one’s self and serves as a cognitive representation of what one desires to be. “ Clifton, in his research found out that self concept is inter-related with organizational citizens behavior directed towards the organization. So, what this means to you? This means that our self concept is developed thru our communication with others. As Luke Tom, said, in his study, we develop our understanding of ourselves as a result of our relation to others. Because of this, the feedback of others becomes important to us. We tend to develop our opinion of ourselves based from observation of others. I will give you an example. A young child’s parents is a significant others to a child. The feedback of this child’s parents help the child understand who he or she is. And as the child gets older the opinion of other siblings may also become significant. In the same way the opinion of the teacher affects the self-concept of the student; and during the teen years the opinion of his peer group matters to him. For example a child being praised by parents develops a certain trait of self concept. In such a way that the role of teacher developing the self concept of a student that is to make her understand herself. Thus she believes she is a good girl, she is an intelligent girl, or makes her believe on herself that she will be good a good athlete, and therefore the influence of others continue in our lives. Another author, Catley, Michael, 2009, believes that self concept is similar to self knowledge and this is formed through the opinion of others. He believes that self concept is a collection of ideas and impression of others towards us and self concept is related to self perception theory proposed by Daryll Bem in l967. The self perception theory describes how a person may alter his self concept based on the actions he had taken. He may believe he is kind and charitable after giving alms and doing charitable acts. He may believe he is environment friendly after planting trees. Thus, you may maintain your self concept by comparing yourself to others, and keeping a self concept different from the norms of others. Catley believes self concept is like fulfilling a self prophecy because when one believes he is generous he think and acts that way regularly and therefore, self concept is reinforced. 4. The principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications. As communications is vital factor in our everyday life, it is time that you also learn the principles of an effective interpersonal communication. According to Papa, Joey, the principles of effective interpersonal communications are:”it should be clear, concise and correct”. It may also be received through verbal and non verbal way. The function of communication is to communicate a message accurately to the listener in a way it is easily understood. If the communication is ineffective, it will puzzle the listener and misunderstanding will be incurred. In non verbal communication, messages are sent and received without using words. For instance, vocal tone, facial expression and gestures are non verbal communication. In business, the role of verbal and non verbal communication can either strengthen or weakens a business transaction. When Dindo, says I, love you then follows it with a kiss, he is using both verbal and non verbal communication to express his love. However, the misconception about interpersonal communication is that it is simply expressing an idea and it is understood by the listener. The message becomes effective only when it is followed by a business policy, an action, a decision or a statement. For example, if someone does not explain himself clearly, there is a possibility that there will be a lot of room for misinterpretation. In business. You will find it beneficial to you if you practice effective interpersonal communication, because it will help you to express your thoughts clearly. In your personal or business relations, interpersonal communication is the foundation of successful actions. For instance, if you communicate to others your goals and plans clearly, it is understood and followed. Donell King 2000, another author, contributes his own interpretation on the principles of inter personal communication. To him, there are four principles to observe; first, “interpersonal communication is inescapable.” It is inescapable because we use communications in all the facets of our lives. He agrees with other author that communication is not only through words, but also through non verbal ways. Messages are communicated thru the tone of the voice, facial expressions and gestures. Second, Donell said that interpersonal communication is irreversible. You cannot take back what you have said. He cited a Russian proverb that states:” Once a word goes out of your mouth, you can never swallow it again” (Donell, king. 2000) Third, Donell said interpersonal communication gets complicated, in a sense that “six people are already involved: 1). Who you think you are, 2) who you think the other person is, 3) who the other person thinks he/she is; 4) who the other person thinks you are; 5) who the other person thinks you are and 6) who the other person thinks you think she/he is”. Interpersonal communication gets complicated because messages maybe misunderstood, and there are others who think they know better than what is meant by your message. Last principle is interpersonal communication is contextual. As identified by Donnell, interpersonal communication can be psychological, relational, situational, environmental and cultural. It is psychological when it expresses your needs, values, and desires. It is relational when it concerns “your reactions to other people”; and then it becomes situational as it refers to the place you are communicating. Interpersonal communications is different in a classroom from that one taking place in a disco place. It is also environmental because of the physical setting where you practice the communication. It is cultural because of the various behaviors and rules affecting behavior. For instance, there is a foreign culture that prohibits direct eye contact and you should understand their diversity and culture in the workplace. 5. The impact of gender on inter personal communications The final topic I would like to discuss with you is how gender affects inter personal communications in your work environment. As you enter the workplace, the work environment could have significant effect in your lives as gender really matters on interpersonal communications. A study of Parvin 2010 done within a firm, in work environment that is predominantly female, concluded that there is a presence is of distorted communication in the organization, but there is no evidence that it is caused by the gender balance in the company. Result affirmed presence of diversity in the organization and that gender balance was not important factor when they described their ideas on the organization’s health. Also, a study of Anant, Hardeep 2011, stated the differences of men and women when it comes to communication, he said that women use 5000 words per day while men use an average of 1500 words per day only. It also provided in this study that there is a great difference between the styles of communication between the two genders because of genetic made up. According to Hardeep, when men talk, it is to ask, to provide facts, or to assert himself, while women talk to establish a relationship. He said that women convey feelings easily, and quick to ask for help while men tend to compete more. He backed up his views on gender differences by citing that it is due to neuro-physiological differences, because, “neuroscientists had maintained for a long time that the pre frontal cortex [the part of the brain believed to be responsible for processing language and communication] was significantly larger in females making them more adept communicators than males.”    As you will probably note, men and women are really different in body language, facial expressions and behavior and this is carried in the workplace. This means that men and women have different ways of communicating and sometimes people fail to understand the meaning of the message conveyed. Still on impact of gender on interpersonal communications, the study of Day, Charles (2006) explores gender and how does it affect communications. This study found out that “there is no significant difference on how a supervisor’s communication skills and powers were perceived based on the gender of the supervisor. However women supervisors were rated lower than men supervisors in communication skills and power. Finally, I am telling all of these as you begin your new life as newly weds because you will be spending the rest of your lives in a work environment. Your work environment can affect your lives and you should learn how to approach it because it will be your second home. Sincerely Your name here List of references Anant, Hardeep. 20 September, 2011. The impact of gender on language and interpersonal communication between the sexes. Communication space. Retrieved 25 January 2012 fromhttp://thecommunicationspace.com/profiles/blogs/impact-of-gender-on-language-and-Interpersonal-Communication Ben, Daryl. Self perception theory. Stanford university, Stanford, California. Advances in Experimental Psychology. Vol 6. L972. Associated Press Inc. New York and London. Catley, Michael. Sept 9, 2009. The self developing - the self concept. Psychology.@suite 101 retrieved 24 January 2012 from http://michael-catley.suite101.com/the-self-developing-the-selfconcept-a146764 Day, Charles. 2006. The effects of interpersonal communications skills on personal power as moderated by gender. Nova Southeastern University. UMI. Pro Quest Dissertations And Theses. Retrieved 25 January 2012. fromhttp://gradworks.umi.com/32/05/3205540.html Jacobs, Elizabeth A; Gupta, Agger Niels; Chen Alice Hm; Piotrowski, Adam, and Hardt, Eric J.. August 2003. Language barriers in health settings. An annotated bibliography of research literature. Prepared for the California Endowment, Retrieved 25 January 2012 from. www.hablamosjuntos.org/pdf_files/Cal.Endow.Bibliography.pdf Mayfield, Clifton O., Ph.D., State University Of New York At Albany, 2008, 138 pages; 3317042 The effects of self-concept and organizational identification on Organizational Citizenship Behavior Pro-Quest Dissertations & Theses. Retrieved 24 January 2012from http://gradworks.umi.com/33/17/3317042.html Medical news today.19 September 2009. Medical interpreters break language barriers in health care. Retrieved 25 January 2012 from http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/164444.php Michael, Leary,2005. Dialogue Among Nations: An Ethnographic Study Of Interpersonal, Intercultural Diplomatic Negotiations In The Multilateral Context Of The United Nations. Regent University. UMI Pro Quest Dissertation And Theses. Retrieved 25 January 2012 from http://gradworks.umi.com/31/99/3199534.html Parvin, Ellie. November 2010. Critical theory and gender communications. Studies in small organizations. Gonzaga University. Published by Pro Quest, LLC, UMI Number 1492732 Papa, Joey. 2011. Effective and ineffective communication. E.how.com. Retrieved 20 January 2012 from http://www.ehow.com/about_6110746_effective-ineffective-communication.html Thomas A. Richards, Ph.D. 2011. What is social anxiety? The social phobia. Social Anxiety Association. Retrieved 25 January 2012http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html Tylanna, Ivanov, February 12, 2011, Barriers To effective interpersonal communications. ehow.com. retrieved 20 January 2012 from http://www.ehow.com/info_7930361_barriers-effective-interpersonal-interactions.html Tom.Luke1999. The development of self concept. Wisc.on-line.com. retrieved 21 January 2012 from http://www.wisc-online.com/objects/ViewObject.aspx?ID=OIC800 Read More