Communicating Effectively - Essay Example

Interpersonal Communication Affiliation: Address REF: INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION Dear title of contact Introduction Human interactions in day to day life are important and can only be achieved with communication (Mackie 2007). Thus, if these interactions have to be maintained, the message communicated has to be accurately delivered. Interpersonal communication relies on the mode of delivery of a message and the response thereafter determines the degree of reception and the emotions that is invoked. It is paramount that information and communication be carried out in an informed manner so as to maintain the stability in interpersonal interactions. Principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications Communication is the channel though which human desires and activities are maintained and achieved. Efficient and effective interpersonal communication is possible when the following principles are followed. Partners need to respect each other by being present and upraising each other. The need to focus on each other when communicating instead of interrupting is highly recommended. The right to avoid an activity instead of trying to change each other as well as taking responsibility is important. The partners need to recognize the independence of thought and right to make a decision and also avoid speaking for each other. Nonetheless, focus on the issue at hand, learn from it and try to value what is important to each other. It is paramount to note that everyone makes mistakes that they provide openings to improve and correct our behaviour. The principles are based on the notion that communication is irreversible, inescapable, complicated and involves context such as psychological, relational, situational, environmental and cultural contexts. Misconceptions may arise when explaining a concept, warning a partner concerning a particular topic, lack of exposure as well as in misunderstanding of the concept and words of each other. In this case, verifications have to be made and a clear and well understood message should be reproduced. Barriers to Effective Interpersonal Interactions Effective interpersonal communication is a boost to enriching relationships. This is because they influence interactions with each other, friends, and job and therefore influence ones happiness and success in family matters. However, couples may have some difficulties in expressing themselves, communicating their needs to each other as well as expressing opinions and feelings. There are various barriers to effective interpersonal interactions which have to be considered so as to have a smooth flow of information amongst couples. The key and most important aspect is to understand them so as to be able to overcome the barriers in one’s relationship (Hybels and Weaver 2009). Firstly we have the physical barriers which may involve lack of contact and closeness to the person with whom one is communicating. They also include technical barriers and the unavailability of the tools of communication. Other aspects may involve immediate barriers such as locked doors and far distances which hamper interactions and may even lead to emotional distress. Secondly there are emotional barriers. These are mainly motivated by fear, distrust and anxiety when communicating. Early negative childhood experiences when socializing can hinder interpersonalinteractions which can be manifested through lack of trust by one partner. One may also be afraid to express ones thoughts, ideas or feelings due to fear of judgment and ridicule from the other partner. Cultural barriers should not be exempted as these involve the individual directly. People from different cultures are brought together through communication and thus are able to live in harmony. It is for this purpose that communication is essential as people view and experience the world differently. The difference in the views can lead to cultural barrier, manifested by fear of interaction as a result of fear of a person’s cultural views and practices. The barriers arising from culture include age, education, gender, social status, economic position, health, beauty, popularity, religion, political belief, ethics, values and standards which have a big influence on relationships. Language barriers may be depicted through difficult words, semantic gaps, wrong messages, assumptions, bad interpretations and poor messages that lead to confusion among the recipients. The different genders have various ways of expression which vary. For instance the ladies are soft while the men tend to be a little bit harsh. Understanding your partner’s way of communication and avoiding the language barrier is essential for a prosperous relationship. Another barrier is the individual barriers including anxiety which varies among individual and limits their interpersonal interactions.Social anxiety may lead to withdrawal by a partner from the relationship, friends and family members which can be manifested by focus on solitary tasks and avoidance of others. Some individuals suffer from lack of self esteem and have both perceptual and personal difficulties. These are psychological factors brought out by perception, halo effect, poor attention, and defense, being mindful and retention attitudes. Moreover, we have the interpersonal barriers which involve lack of knowledge on non-verbal cues. For instance, a partner may not recognize facial expressions, gestures, body language and postures. A partner may also lack the motivation, cooperation, trust and relationship with the other leading to break ups. Barriers due to ones attitudes may also arise where the couple may have frustration due to limitations of mental ability, intelligence and understanding. This leads to divided attention and pre-conceived notions which affect and reflects the couples’ attitudes and opinions. In addition to this are the channel barriers which involve the break ups in the medium used. This takes place when the channel is long, where there is no interest to share information or there are problems in accessing the information needed. In a relationship where the channel is absent, the information flow becomes unclear, inaccurate and ineffective. Another form of barrier is the organizational barrier. In a case where the family is disorganized and there is lack of cooperation, interaction and communication becomes distorted. The barriers are characterized by bad culture, strict rules, complexity and few opportunities of growth and improvement. In order to be able to ensure less barriers to communication in a relationship, couples try and express expectations, use less absolute words such as never, be able to filter words properly as well as eliminate intermediaries. Establishing one communication channel, use of clarifications, use of oral communication, maintaining eye contact, use of specific and well understood words and being an active listener should not be eliminated as these ensure that good interactions in relationships are maintained. When this is accomplished the couple should ensure that they obtain proper feedback and thus foster a well focused and purposeful communication. Strategies for active, critical and empathic listening The process of reception, assignment of reason, retention and payment of attention to sounds is referred to as listening and is of key importance to communication. Before a person listens, they have to perceive the sound; that is they have to hear it. Success in the interpersonal relationships depend to a great extend on the listening behaviors and on the active thinking. Active listening is where a person derives a purpose and includes both the empathic and critical listening. When one tries to understand the other, they are involved in empathic listening, while critical listening will greatly involve the evaluation of a person’s message in depth. In this, aspects like the accuracy, meaning and how useful the message is are weighed from the way they are delivered by the speaker. The pitch, tone and mode of the speaker are carefully scrutinized as to bring clear meaning and thus present a better understanding of the message conveyed. Listening can also be done for enjoyment purposes such as listening to music. Despite the various barriers involved in communication among couple, analysis of the situation and evaluation of the arguments and the available support material is important. This creates an understanding of the environment of communication by relying on the credibility of each other in presenting inferences and observations. Strategies to improve active, empathic and critical listening should be employed to maintain positive interpersonal interactions. This involves asking questions and getting comments, use of descriptive answers, being affirmative, the use of optimistic facial expressions, use of direct eye contact and the use of voiced utterances. Techniques for both empathic and critical thinking help prevent disagreements in the course of life. These techniques may include trying to avoid interruptions and judgemental responses among spouses. Listening for other multiple meanings, trying to verbalize interpretations and creating a good environment for continuous interpretations should also be observed. Strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts Human behaviour is dominated by conflicts. These result due to lack of communication, difference in attitudes, beliefs and expectations, ineffective leadership, problems arising from performance of roles by partners, low productivity, lack of equilibrium in life and previously unresolved crisis. Interpersonal conflict can be found under the hidden self, the blind self and the undiscovered self. Therefore strategies have been formulated to help manage the interpersonal conflicts especially those arising from disagreements by couples. The strategies include the power, compromise, withdrawal, yield and the win-win approach or the synergy. The method to use to solve the conflict may be determined by the importance of personality, the effort required, the outcome, time and energy needed and the place for the confrontations. These involve the identification of the source of conflict, modeling the behaviours and attitudes to be followed, focusing on time when solving conflicts and avoiding the personalities and blame game. It also focuses on allowance of time for cooling off, analysis of the situation and statement of problem by each partner. Partners may also decide to take middle grounds or compromise on the situation, use of payments or the use of an arbitrator to settle the dispute (Purkey and Schmidt 2007). Some rules may be applied to solve the conflicts like dealing with them out rightly, discussing with a friend, talking face to face or using a mediator, providing apologies where needed, implementing priorities, working to have proper relationships and working on individual communication skills. Process by which self-concept is developed and maintained The aspect of self concept is a continuous development process where new ideas are created and old ideas are discarded. Self concept refers to the system of learnt beliefs and opinions that an individual holds to be true about their existence. Self is actually the reflection of one’s separate identity from others and the environment. (Franken 2010) says that self concept is the basis for motivational behaviour as it results to different selves responsible for motivation. Self-concept is developed when action is being taken after reflecting on the feedback they receive and comparing it with their expectations and accomplishments of others (Hamachek 2005). That means it is developed through environmental interactions and reflections upon the relations and thus can be changed. Components of self concept include the academic, physical, social and transpersonal concepts which determine how individuals regard themselves with reference to height, sex, weight, academic content, relations with others and unknowns. Self concept can be learned, organized or dynamic and is developed through experience. Since no one is actually born with self concept, it is a social element that can be developed and internalized. Out of this comes the aspect of esteem and perceptions which base a person’s behaviour at different times and with varying degrees. When rigidities arise due to threats inconsistent with self concept, it becomes difficult to maintain leading to poor thinking patterns. The maintenance of self concept is based on many perceptions regarding one’s existence. One of the ways in which self concept is developed is through behaviour and thought where one alters the way they think of themselves in actions they have undertaken. It can also be formed through comparison with others. The concept is maintained by mental and psychological attributes where selective memory prevails. The selective memory reinforces beliefs on self accompanied by attribution so as to give stability to an individual’s sense of self. Conclusion In conclusion, it is important for partners to learn on the effective modes of communications as well as the barriers therein so as to be able to channel their relationship in a more defined stable way so as to maintain good interpersonal relations. I hope through such a measure the two of you will be able to progress more efficiently and have enjoyed your relationship through dialogue and communication. References Franken, R. (2010). Human motivation. California: Brooks/Cole Publishing Co. Hamachek, D. (2005). Self-concept and school achievement: Interaction dynamics and a tool for assessing the self-concept component. Journal of Counseling & Development, 73(4), 419-425. Hybels, S. and Weaver, R. (2009). Communicating Effectively. New York: McGraw-Hill. Mackie, S. (2007). Social Psychology. London: London Press. Purkey, W. and Schmidt, J. (2007). The inviting relationship: An expanded perspective for professional counseling. New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, Inc. Read More