Reasons Lead to Divorce in a Couples Life - Essay Example

Number] Psychological reasons of divorce Meaning of divorce can be understood as the official separation of husband and wife. In other words, divorce is an official term which is used to break their union. There are numerous reasons which can lead to the most destructive action (divorce) in a couple’s life. In many societies divorce is considered as a detested and tabooed action due to religious and cultural believes. Yet, it has been condemned by all the religions in some way or the other. According to a research on divorce, women have been observed to monitor and assess their marriage more acutely than men. Hence, due to their efficient observation they can detect problems in their marriage at an early stage and take initiatives to rectify them. On the other hand, men tend to avoid discussions to resolve marriage issues, which is why women opt for divorce in next to no time. This lack of compromise and commitment endangers their relationship in a grave manner. Moreover, women like to explain their divorce issues in details and men in comparison refrain from repeating them (Amato and Previti, 2). Human psychology plays an important role in all matters of life and commitment. There are certain psychological factors, which highly influence human behaviour and take them to the point of making decisions either constructive or destructive. In this essay, the effort has been made to explore different psychological notions which eventually lead to divorce. Some of the most important and noteworthy psychological reasons are discussed below. Sexual satisfaction is the most notable desire which is directly related to the psychological and physical satisfaction of a person. Marriage is considered as the best source of getting sexual satisfaction in legal and socially accepted way. It has been observed that with the passage of time expectations increase and sometimes people get disappointed when they don’t receive their expectations in return. In this case sexual dissatisfaction occurs and which results in emotional and physical distance among the spouse. Consequently, this dissatisfaction usually leads to dissolution of marriage (Rogers & Judkis, 90). Lately, anxiety and depression are one of the most common psychological problems among men and women. There are a lot of reasons which contribute to threat the most beautiful bond of husband and wife. Many at times, one of the spouse feels overburden with stress, may it be financial, domestic or personal. Hence, at some point he/she is unable to manage stress and finally they express their anxiety in different ways like anger, repeated complains, accusations, detesting his personality traits and etc. Sometimes, these pessimistic sentiments of expression become unbearable for the other partner and they lead to continuous dispute and lack of understanding among them. When disputes and mental/psychological compatibility gap increases, the drastic action of divorce or separation occurs. Secrecy and lack of trust is also a trait which shatters trust among life partners. As some people are habitual of keeping their privacy intact even after marriage and they don’t like interference or like to share. The key idea among this relationship is sharing. Hence, when this lack of sharing and privacy comes between husband and wife, they start suspecting each other with doubt and mistrust. This suspicion makes it difficult for them to share one roof. Thus, in order to tackle this situation good communication is required. Moreover, lack or less communication creates more problems for the couple; it creates an air of misinterpretation with future apprehensions more evident in the relationship. Conclusively, this trait of mistrust and secrecy leads to a person opting for divorce rapidly (Rogers & Judkis, 90). Lack of understanding or ability to comprehend rightly can be another psychological problem that usually leads to divorce. Misunderstanding, misconducts, pessimistic approach to comprehend certain actions of spouse can also result in annulment. Individuals change with the passage of time, their preferences, liking, dislikes, habits also change. This is a natural and subtle process for each individual to change and grow in order to become effective or deficient individual, hence; couples need counselling when such change of a partner becomes to evident or difficult for them to cope up with (Jack, 79). Aristotle analyzed that Man is a social animal (Oden, 421) and he has learnt to deal with different relations via the help of observation. According to numerous psychologists, social aloofness is one of the major causes of divorce. This trait leaves fewer tendencies to face difficult situation and they prove to be incapable of handling situations prudently. Such individuals have fear inside them which restricts them to express their feelings and ideas. They mostly create negative perceptions about different people even about their life partner. Therefore, social aloofness is a psychological problem which leads to divorce. Insecure Personality issue is also one of the most highlighted psychological problems. It entails a person to feel uncomfortable and self-doubting in all types of situations. They doubt everyone with suspicion and are unable to trust anyone or them self at all. It is due to the fact that they experience high level of superiority or inferiority complex. In this situation a married person cannot probably sustain his or her relation for a longer period of time. Annoyed behaviour, disturbed and imbalanced emotions and false perceptions leads to the divorce (Renzetti & Edleson , 68). Low self-esteem, affects overall behaviour of a human being and ultimately it also affects different relations among which marriage is most the prominent one. In this relationship, when one or both members are insecure, their attitude is pessimistic. Hence, the lack confidence and also lack of expression of love and trust, which eventually creates tension and discomfort among them. For example: A person tends to be very dependent or seek constant approval and praise from the other partner, which is overwhelming for him/her. When one feels bad, insecure, criticized, threatened, etc.., (Which happens frequently), demands one’s partner to "make him/her" feel good. It is difficult to admit mistakes /sense of responsibly or obligation for rectifying one’s mistakes. One can be very demanding or jealous These kinds of behaviour are very difficult to handle in long term relationship, when issues become complicated and unresolved for a long time then spouses take harsh decision of annulment. There are a lot of psychological reasons, which contribute in breaking up of marriage however, few suggestions to resolve them are mentioned below: Usually a person gets annoyed due to some external or internal insecurity, threat, financial or domestic constrain or obligation. The most important thing in this situation is to manage the stress. Stress management is an efficient and tested practice, which can defend against these kinds of situation that can lead to drastic decision of divorce. Psychological imbalance can cause a lot of disturbance in almost all the relations. The relationship of husband and wife mainly depend on the fact that how well people communicate/expresses; his or her ideas and how effectively the other spouse comprehends it. Hence, a lot of problems can be resolved just with the help of effective communication. Proactive communication skills are very important for resolving problems in any relationship. There are a lot of couples which refrain from sharing and expressing feelings and as a result they reach at a point of no return. Hence, divorce is an intricate issue which should be handled with certain care and attention. Sexual dissatisfaction, social aloofness, anxiety or depression, personality disorder or complex, and low self esteem are some of the most noteworthy and influencing psychological factors which lead to divorce eventually (Geoffrey, 45). Conclusively, psychological reasons play pivotal role in the sustainability or detriment of a relationship. Hence, couples should seek psychologist support and marriage therapy before taking this pessimistic decision of their life. Works Cited: Top of Form Amato, Paul R, and Denise Previti. "Peoples Reasons for Divorcing: Gender, Social Class, the Life Course, and Adjustment." Journal of Family Issues. 24.5 (2003): 602-626. Print. Bottom of Form Greif, Geoffrey L.. Out of touch: when parents and children lose contact after divorce. New York: Oxford University Press, 1997. Top of Form Renzetti, Claire M, and Jeffrey L. Edleson. Encyclopedia of Interpersonal Violence. Thousand Oaks, Calif: Sage Publications, 2008. Print. Bottom of Form Martin, Jack. The psychology of personhood philosophical, historical, social-developmental and narrative perspectives. Cambridge, [England: Cambridge University Press, 2012. Top of Form Rogers, Fred, and Jim Judkis. Divorce. New York: G.P. Putnams, 1996. Print. Bottom of Form Top of Form Odin, Steve. The Social Self in Zen and American Pragmatism. Albany: State University of New York Press, 1996. Print. Read More