Divorce: Continuing Trends and New Developments - Essay Example

Affiliation The main reason couples divorce Introduction In U.S, 45 percent to 50 percent of first marriages endup in divorce, and the risk is even higher for second marriages as the probability is 60 percent. Divorce has been a major concern in the American society and has become very common in the recent years (Hawkins, Willoughby, and Doherty, 459). Taking into consideration that almost a half of first marriages end up in a divorce is like considering marriage is a game of chance. Some couples have a higher divorce risk while others have a low risk for divorce. Thus, understanding the reasons for divorce is important to help couples understand why they may be facing their marriage challenges and issues. Gender and Society construction play a major role in the occurrence of divorce leading to many reasons why couples end up divorcing. The most considered reasons are a lack of commitment, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, abuse, and infidelity, lack of communication and financial problems. These problems can be prevented or fixed if they happen (Lyngstad, 52). Commitment in a relationship is very essential as it brings a long-term view in the relationship that helps couples not get overwhelmed by challenges and problems they face in their day-to-day life. High commitment in a relationship is very essential as the couple will feel safe and will be willing to give all what it takes the relationship to become a success. Gender and Society construction in regards to the nature and roles the male and female gender plays a key role in the occurrence of divorce. However, at times divorce is necessary as it helps in preserving the moral boundaries of marriage. Most common reasons for divorce According to a study conducted by Amato, the most common reasons, why couples get divorced, is lack of commitment. From the study results, 73 percent of the research participants identified a lack of couple’s commitment as a major reason for divorce. Other reasons given in the study included infidelity 56 percent, too much arguing in the relationship 55 percent, unrealistic and conflicting expectations in the marriage 46 percent, early marriages 45 percent, financial issues 41 percent, male masculinity and lack of equality 44 percent and relationship abuse 29 percent. From the list, it is possible to fix many of the issues raised above and prevent divorce occurrence. It is essential for couples to learn how to avoid their destructive arguments and solve their issues to create greater expectations in their marriage. Even damaging issues such as infidelity affairs in a relationship can be overcome in a committed couple to prevent separation and divorce. Things happen in life for some reason and divorce in marriages is one of those events that will not happen just by accident. Therefore, it is important for couples to identify their conflicting issues and work out their marriages (Jacquet and Surra, 629). Abuse is a major reason as to why a majority of couples get divorced. Men tend to impose physical or sexual abuse to the female partners. This is due to the male and female gender socialization by the society. In the American culture, gender stereotype is a common concern where the male gender is linked to the masculine roles usually associated with strength, dominance, and aggression over their female counterparts. On the other hand, feminism is usually associated with subordination, passivity and caring nature (Scott et al., 142). Thus, men tend to gain total control and authority over their female couples thus resulting in abuse. In today’s changing world, women are fighting for equality and are against gender abuse. According to a study connected by Amato and Previti to determine the cause of divorce and separation in a relationship, 64 percent of women stated that if spouses abused them sexually or physically they would end their relationships. However, many individuals opt to stay in physically abusive relationships but a majority will not allow themselves or their children abused especially by their love of their life. Abuse in a relationship boils trust issues, and it is important for a couple to seek help on the matter to a trusted attorney, friend, or family issue to resolve the issue. Infidelity in relationship is normally characterized by dishonesty and cheating. Martin et al. (2005), States that among the relationship that end up in separation and divorce, men are involved in cheating and dishonesty more over the female counterparts. This can be explained by the society expectations and attitude surrounding the male gender in regards to their traits and behavior patterns. Men in the society are expected to have more than one sexual pattern and are even allowed to marry more than one woman. On the other hand, women’s expectations are to have only one partner and are expected to be loyal and faithful to their man. Men end up being involved in various relationships secretly and if the married woman discovers about it, trust issues results that may lead to divorce and separation. It is important for a couple to work through infidelity together for their success of the marriage. However, when such an instance happens it becomes very difficult to restore back trust in the relationship as it signifies the betrayal. Many couples divorce because of lack of communication. Distance results quickly if couples lack to share their feeling and lack to tell each other what is happening by keeping their issues to themselves. A successful relationship will keep the lines of communication always open. Most of the couples do not know how to talk to each other and know even lesser about listening to each other (Carrère et al., 57). The most important conversations that individuals have are with their spouses, but they lack to put enough effort into expressing their feeling wisely and to listen to their spouses with an open mind. Spouses will want to avoid getting into conversations that they feel will invoke feelings to the other. Communication is a key weapon of solving marital issues in a relationship and is one of the easiest ways of building trust. Therefore, couples need to employ open and honest communication to help in solving the issues they face (Massoglia, Remster, and King, 145). Change in expectations after marriage can lead to a divorce in a married couple. Laziness and expectations often will go hand in hand when predicting whether a marriage with be successful or end up in separation. Couples often will tend to make a lot of assumptions in regards to marriage and what is expected of it. Problems will arise when the marriage lacks to meet the stipulated expectations. Mostly marital expectations will rarely align to the realities of what life is like inside the marriage. In the society, women are taught that men want sex and that it is a second nature to a man. If a woman marries a man, she will expect that the man will want sex from her and if it does not happen issues are bound to arise (Orbuch et al., 201). This can result to infidelity if the man lacks to satisfy her woman that can result in divorce and separation. Lack of commitment and laziness after a marriage is another reason as to why couples end up getting separated and divorced. There is a misguided belief that marriage makes the couple happy. However, marriage is a separate entity, a thing outside the individuals self that needs to survive and thrive with input from both the husband and the wife. Women throw big bridal showers and are engaged in marriages without any idea of what the marriage is. Men will expect the woman to be a hard working person and not a lazy woman. According to the society, men are breadwinners of the family but they also expect input from the woman (Amato, 653). Thus, it is crucial for a couple to define their roles before marriage and take responsibility. According to Gaulier et al. (2007) early marriages increases the likelihood of getting divorced later in life. Teenagers who get married have a much higher divorce rate as compared to other mature marriages. Most of the marriages happen between the age of 22 years and 24 years. Individuals who delay marriage until the late 20s are probably more mature and will end up making better marriage decisions as well handle the challenges of married life more better as compared to the teens. Financial problem is another issue that can lead to divorce in a married couple. This is closely related to poor education among the couple. Finances are stressful in relationships and having a modest income is essential in helping a couple avoid stress that can apparently result in a divorce. Conclusion In U.S, 45 percent to 50 percent of first marriages end up in divorce, and the risk is even higher for second marriages as the probability is 60 percent. Divorce is a major concern in the American society. Gender and Society construction in regards to the nature and roles the male and female gender plays an essential part in the occurrence of divorce leading to the many reasons why couples end up divorcing. The most considered reasons is a lack of commitment, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, abuse and infidelity, lack of communication and financial problems. These problems can be prevented or fixed if they result. Understanding the reasons for divorce is important to help couples understand why they may be facing their marriage challenges and issues and avoid divorce and separation. Work citied Amato, Paul R. “Research on Divorce: Continuing Trends and New Developments.” Journal of Marriage and Family 2010 : 650–666. Amato, Paul R., and Denise Previti. “People’s Reasons for Divorcing: Gender, Social Class, the Life Course, and Adjustment.” Journal of Family Issues 2003 : 602–626. Carrère, S et al. “Predicting Marital Stability and Divorce in Newlywed Couples.” Journal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43) 14, 2000: 42–58. Gaulier, Bernard et al. Defusing the High-Conflict Divorce: A Treatment Guide for Working with Angry Couples. Impact Publishers Inc. Atascadero, CA.., 2007. Hawkins, Alan J., Brian J. Willoughby, and William J. Doherty. “Reasons for Divorce and Openness to Marital Reconciliation.” Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 2012 : 453–463. Jacquet, Susan E., and Catherine A. Surra. “Parental Divorce and Premarital Couples: Commitment and Other Relationship Characteristics.” Journal of Marriage and Family 63, 2001: 627–638. Lyngstad, Torkild Hovde. “Why Do Couples with Highly Educated Parents Have Higher Divorce Rates?” European Sociological Review 22, 2006: 49–60. Martin, Leslie R. et al. “Longevity Following the Experience of Parental Divorce.” Social Science and Medicine 61, 2005: 2177–2189. Massoglia, Michael, Brianna Remster, and Ryan D. King. “Stigma or Separation? Understanding the Incarceration-Divorce Relationship.” Social Forces 90, 2011: 133–155. Orbuch, T. L. et al. “Who Will Divorce: A 14-Year Longitudinal Study of Black Couples and White Couples.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 2002 : 179–202. Scott, Shelby B et al. “Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education.” Couple & family psychology 2, 2013: 131–145. Read More