The Effects of Divorce, the Losers and Gainers in Divorce, the Interventions to Halt Divorce - Research Paper Example

Family Divorce Family Divorce The increases in divorce are a noticeable in recent decades. While some people view this as a sign of moral disruption with the likelihood of bringing down the family institution, others celebrate these trends saying they indicate increased individual liberty and the loosening of suffocating social morals. This paper focuses on the effects of divorce, the losers and gainers in divorce, the consequences and interventions to halt divorce. Background Information Amato (2010) observes that about half of the marriages in the United States are likely to end up in divorce; a proportion that he says has more than doubled in the last thirty years. The same case is replicated in Europe where the rates of divorce have been on the increase in the recent decades and is expected to escalate even further in the coming years. It is such disturbing trends that have prompted studies into understanding the effects and possible interventions of divorce. The feminist perspective on divorce revolves around the ways in which women’s positions at divorce systematically differ from men’s positions. Although the current labour force trends indicate an increase in women participation, Carbone (1994) says there is no corresponding rise in the fathers’ domestic contributions. In fact, women still endure the burden of child rearing. In a nutshell, therefore, a feminist perspective is concerned about the implications of divorce not only on the lives of women but also on the lives of children. How Divorce Affects Families Divorce has a huge impact on the family for the simple reason that it breaks the bonds that were once responsible for bringing the family together. On the part of children, Carbone (1994) says divorce brings the feelings of being unwanted and loss of trust to the parents. On the part of the fathers, divorce leads to loss of finances, emotional stress following loss of family and having to start again and loss of parental responsibility. With regards to the mothers, divorce leads to financial stress and emotional stress just to mention a few. Sometimes these effects deteriorate even to the extended families. Concerns of Divorce Divorce shams serious concerns on the family, in particular, the well-being of the children. Although the adults are also affected by divorce, the children bear the brunt of it all. The divorce causes psychological, physical and socio-economic problems onto the affected families. This is in contrast to families that do not experience divorce. Wallerstein (1991) identifies persistent loneliness as a major consequence of divorce on children. He cited a study in the U.S whose findings indicated that about 44 percent of adults who were raised in divorced families admitted having been lonely in their childhood. The loneliness is attributed to the absence of one parent from the family, usually the father. It is often the case that in the majority of divorce cases, it is always the woman who is left with the children. That the father does not show up in the family any more triggers anxiety; a factor that leads to the loneliness that is usually experienced by the children. Another consequence of divorce on children is that it affects their emotional security. Following divorce, Cherlin (1992) says the fear of losing both parents increases in children; consequently, this makes them emotionally insecure. Wallerstein (1991) notes that the emotional insecurity is usually manifested in children through frequent breaking of rules, increased cases of isolation or withdrawal from friends and family, deviant behaviours and alcohol/drug abuse. It is also the case that children who experience divorce tend to struggle socially as compared to the children from intact family backgrounds. Mechanic and Hansell (1989) observe that socially struggling children often become aggressive. They develop poor relationships with children of the same age and tend to be less involved in extra-co curricular activities such as sports and other self-enrichment programs. Children from divorced families also tend to have difficulties learning shared skills such as collaboration, compromise and concession skills. These skills are very important as they are quite pivotal in ensuring a person’s success in life. In addition, the frequent exposure to conflict before and after a divorce may lead to deterioration of communication of these children with their parents. Losers or gainers in Divorce It is not easy to determine the losers or gainers in divorce largely because many factors come into play. For example, in determining who loses or gains in divorce, one has to delve into the root-cause of the divorce in question. While in many cases, divorce is a result of unresolved conflict between a husband and wife, Thomson, McLanahan and Braun (1992) say there are many other reasons why families choose to seek divorce. Some people seek divorce in order to rest their minds following hostilities in marriage and others do so due to either moral or financial infidelity. As such, it is hard to define whether it is a man or woman who loses or gains in divorce. Hetherington (1989) however, feels it is the children and their mother who lose in a divorce especially if the family depended fully on the father to provide for the needs of the family. The sudden shift of roles to the woman may trigger psychological trauma. In addition, the loss of the feeling of protection provided by the man may also add to a woman’s mental and emotional vulnerabilities. Hetherington (1989) say the children lose heavily in divorce. The sudden loss of fatherly love impacts the children in so many areas of their lives. Apart from feeling loneliness, Hetherington (1989) notes that the loss of a father affects the children’s behaviour and attitude towards relationships. In particular, these children may choose to engage in high-risk behaviours such as pre-marital sex and abusing drugs; factors that could lead to a decline in their school performance. The father also gets affected in the course of a divorce. Depending on the reason for filing a divorce, Cherlin (1992) says the father could experience a brief moment of relief. In the long-term, however, the feeling of losing a family and the stress of having to start a new family become challenges. Consequently, these contribute to psychological trauma on the man. According to Cherlin (1992), such men end up to binge drinking in the hope that it will solve their problems. As can be deduced from above, there are no clear victors or failures in divorce. While divorce law provides for family support from the man and sharing of family assets, there have been challenges in effecting the law. For one, it is quite difficult to determine the exact amount of assets one owns; there is also the guilt of dividing what once belonged to one family. On a general note, however, women and children are often the most affected following divorce. Interventions to Divorce Separation occurs as an ill-starred event in somebody’s lifetime. It is especially painful for the family to separate after having given rise to children. Cherlin (1992) advocates the following interventions as the possible solutions towards salvaging marriage and preventing the rampant cases of divorce. The first intervention towards preventing divorce is ensuring excellent communication within the family. Families are built on the foundations of love and honesty and communication forms the path through which the same is shared among family members. Cherlin (1992) says communication helps in resolving family conflicts and consequently shuns divorce. Traditionally, the perception was that it was the role of woman to initiate communication in the family. The role have since changed, and both partners have equal responsibilities in building and strengthening family through communication. Unmet needs such as sexual needs are another cause for family divorce. According to Heaton (2002), unmet sexual expectations occur because a certain sexual behaviour which existed early in the marriage change suddenly. Since the other spouse expects the same sexual behaviour, they become frustrated and feelings of rejection results to communication breakdown and eventual divorce. As such, being able to address such needs at an early stage can reduce the chances of a divorce. Observing gender roles is another way through which family divorce can be avoided. Traditionally, it was the case that men and women perform designated roles in the family. Heaton (2002) notes that the men, for example, are supposed to provide for the family while women are supposed to take care of the family. Over time, men feel that a lot is being demanded from them and, as such, there should be equal sharing of roles in the family. In order to avoid family divorce, families should share responsibilities accordingly and stop blame games. In conclusion, that family divorce cases are on an upward trend should be a cause for alarm for humanity. The consequences of family divorce are devastating especially on the children; therefore, urgent interventions are needed to curb same. Respecting the sanctity of marriage and embracing communication can be vital in averting cases. References Amato, P. R. (2010). ”Research on divorce: continuing developments and new trends.” Journal of Marriage and the family, 72(3): 650-666 Carbone, J.R., (1994). ‘A Feminist Perspective on Divorce.’ Children & Divorce, 4(1): 193- 199 Cherlin, A., J. (1992). Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage. Second Edition. Cambridge (MA): Harvard University Press Heaton, T.B. (2002). “Factors contributing to increasing marital stability in the United States.” Journal of Family Issues, 23(3): 392-340 Hetherington, E.M. (1989). “Coping with family transitions: winners, losers and survivors.” Child Development, 60(1): 1-14 Mechanic, D., & Hansell, S., (1989). Divorce, Family Conflict and Adolescents’ Well- Being.” Journal of Social Behavior, 30(1): 105-116 Thomson, E., McLanahan, S.S., & Braun, C.R., (1992). Family Structure, Gender and Parental Socialization.” Journal of marriage & the Family, 54 (2): 368-378 Wallerstein, Judith S. (1991). “The long-term effects of divorce on children: A review.” Journal of American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 30(3): 349-360 Read More