Divorce Impacts Disastrously on Society - Research Paper Example

Divorce Impacts Disastrously on society. Divorce is a legal practice through a marriage between a man and wife is dissolved permitting their separation. It inevitable comes with the division of their properties as well as their custodial roles on their children. This practice has continued to increasingly become common the world over with impacts on both the affected parents as well as their children and communities. Divorce shakes the family which is the foundation of society and as such has a significant impact on the children lives. as a consequence of divorce, children are deprived of the much need quality upbringing in a stable family as they are forced to suffer the difficulties of growing up in a new structure of single parenthood. Psychologists have extensively researched on the effects that divorce has on children and evidence converges at the point that it ultimately leads to the deterioration of their mental health even adulthood. In this paper I will be arguing and justifying why the procedure of divorce is harmful in terms of impact especially on the moral status and ultimate behavior of the children who suffer it. Divorce has a tremendous negative effect not only the children but also the separating parents and ultimately society as it alters the family structure. Children may suffer the inevitable feeling of inadequacy, having to start a new life in a very unstable single parent family, and deprivation that may lead them to resent. Aggression and mood problems may be some of the behavior changes that the affected children develop as they adjust to the new order. A wide body of research has shown that those children who are brought up in stable families with both parents present show stability and good behavior as compared to their counterparts who encounter divorce. Children who have suffered divorce in their lives are prone to delinquency and aggression. This is because these children go through a very intense period of loss and are subjected to tremendous, unexpected and inevitable changes when parents divorce and separate. There is no doubt most of the impacts of divorce are extremely detrimental to our society and as such there is need for deliberate efforts at curbing its growing popularity. The family which is society’s basic building is worst affected by divorce. The relationship between the parent and child will never be same again after a divorce occurs. In fact, following the divorce and ultimate separation of the couple, another form of divorce inevitably occurs which involves the separation of children from their parents. Conflict in terms of parenting accompanies divorce with a net effect of poor & strained relationships between the children and their separated parents. Divorcing parents encounter two kinds of problems immediately: they have to adjust to their own internal psychological conflicts and also their new roles as separated parents. Research has shown that in approximately 40% of the divorce cases, the mother-child relationship is impacted by the stress that comes with divorce in a disastrous manner. Support at home for children whose parents have divorced is very low as compared to those children whose families are intact and this worsens during the high school and college periods (Fagan and Churchill, 2012). it is very obvious that children growing up in family structures where parents have divorced and for that reason have to do without presence of a one parent receive little support in emotionally, financially and even in terms of just the practical parental help. Parental affection reduced and this translates into the children having a lower esteem due to the feeling of inadequacy. The children lack the full parental warmth, behavioral guidance and social support which have a net negative effect on what these children grow into as adults. They don’t receive enough toys and games due to the financial difficulties the single parent has to go trough and in many cases physical punishment is common due to the stress of single parenting. There are some studies that have shown that it is not the mere divorce that affects parenting, but in most cases divorce has been associated with increased worries, the feeling of exhaustion and increased stress on the separated parents. These factors significantly their parenting abilities and their parental control over their children and as such divorce has the effect of reducing parental care and breeding the parenting style characterized by overprotection especially in the adolescent ages. Another aspect of parenting that is adversely affected by divorce in a manner that is significant is the mother-child bond. This relationship has been found to be weakened by divorce with negative impacts; the children brought by single mothers as a result of divorce experience poorer and lesser stimulating environments at home. Additionally these mothers may have very good intentions for their children but are disadvantaged as their abilities to offer emotional support when compared to their married counterparts. On the part of children, divorce has the effect of reducing their trust in their own mothers especially when divorce happens between birth and the fourth year. However, this effect of mistrust on the part of parents is able to disappear if the mother puts up effort and controls the relationship between herself and the child. As a result of the re-adjustments that the divorced mothers have to undergo immediately after divorce, most of these mothers have a tendency of showing less affection and poor communication with their kids. They also tend to exert severe discipline that is inconsistent has a negative impact on the development of children. The relationship between mothers who are divorced and their male children is peculiar. Although this situation improves as time goes by discipline issues may persist for some time and in some cases into adulthood (Fagan and Churchill, 2012). The relationship between fathers and their children is affected by divorce in different ways. In terms of contact, divorces the frequency and quality of contact between the fathers and their children which in turn affects the relationships. It is for instance particularly difficult for non-residential fathers to maintain quality close associations with the children. Most of the children whose parents have divorced have been found to spend most of their nights with mothers and approximately 50% of them take even a full year without setting eyes on their fathers. The few children who spend some time with their fathers have such opportunities only on special visits and do not do so as a routine. A National Survey on Families and Households has revealed that on average one in every five divorced fathers spent a whole year without seeing their children while approximately half of them see their kids just a few times every year. at the age of adolescence, less than half of the kids being brought up by single mothers report having met their fathers and just one out of six see their fathers at least on a weekly basis. This reduced contact between children and parents can have far reaching effects on the eventual persons these kids grow to become in adulthood. Divorce also affects the relationship between children and their parents especially fathers on the perspective of emotional touch and wellness. A disruption and distance is created which affects the emotional well-being of children. With fathers particularly, divorce has been reported to affect their relations with children negatively. Most children have been found to report reduced and poor relationships with their dads while the fathers on their part report experiencing negative changes in the way they relate with their children following divorce. These tendencies deteriorating relationships following marital breakups are observed in children of both sexes and chances that the relationship between a father and his children will be distant are increased by presence of more conflicts during the process of separation. This conflict tends to disappear with time and the father’s relationship with his children is likely to improve. Furthermore, as children grow up and become independent their conflicts with their fathers fade away paving away for life with less conflicts with their divorced fathers. There is also no doubt, fathers who divorce with their wives will have less opportunities of supporting their children emotionally and financially as compared to when the family is intact. They undergo psychological changes that naturally render them less caring and increase their likelyhood of drifting away from kids especially if they are legally denied custodial roles on their own children on divorce. Being away from the children, these fathers also are deprived of the opportunity of influencing behavior and attitude in their children. This is a reality and has profound impacts on the growth of children and as well as their decisions during adulthood in terms of marriage or divorcing their partners. overall, there is evidence to show that adolescent children whose parents have not gone through the painful process of divorce enjoy quality, close ties with their fathers as compared to children whose fathers are not around due divorce. There is also some research that has suggested that differences existing between children from divorced and those from intact family structures are insignificant. These studies have found that most of the children do not experience adverse effects in the long run as a result of parental divorce. The main take home message in such studies is that the negative effects of divorce on both the parents and their children go away after a very short time after which adjustments occur leading to the return of quality life. It is also their position that what the child develops into is affected very minimally by the environment in which this child grows. The undesirable behaviors that have been shown in children whose parents are divorced are also evident in children with intact parents and as such it is not divorce that informs behavioral problems in a child but the child himself/herself. For this school of thought therefore divorce is not to blame for the deteriorating moral standards in the society as delinquency, aggression and other bad attitudes in children as well as divorce itself are just effects of modernity (Arkowitz and Lilienfeld, 2013). Researchers in the school of thought that believes divorce has no significant adverse impact on the child’s later life and ultimately society argue that there are a number of factors responsible for the bouncing back effect that is seen. They opine that children will fare on well if parents are able to eliminate conflicts in the process of divorcing are alternatively minimize their kids’ exposure to their own conflicts. It is also argued that those children under the guardianship of a single good parent are better off than those in with two parents yet the primary parent is poor in parenting. By directly addressing themselves to their children in terms of the reasons for divorce, its possible implications and adequately responding to all their queries, parents can assist and support their kids in coping. Also just good parenting is enough to buffer the children against the adverse effects associated with divorce in the event of any. Parents therefore should make sure to extend warmth towards their children and very closely monitor their development even in divorce in order to ensure their children are leading a quality life. children who suffer divorce can also get the support them of their peers as well as other concerned adults and teachers at the school in terms of emotions and social stability which would really influence their quality of life. It therefore is dependent on those involved and they way divorced is handled and not divorce itself that causes negative impact. Additionally there certain inherent characteristics in children that are influence their response in terms of resilience. For instance, those children who show easy temperaments have been found to respond well to life after parental divorce and ultimately lead normal lives. Another difference also comes in terms the coping styles adopted by the children affected by divorce in the family. A naturally good problem solving child and that who seeks the support of relevant persons emotionally and socially will definitely be more resilient in dealing with divorce as compared to counterparts resort to disastrous lives and avoidance of reality. This is good news as they give hope that as much as divorce is usually a very painful experience with inevitable long-term effects especially for children majority of them will bounce back and effectively deal with the difficult situation (Amato, 2003). As much is this is encouraging news when it comes to looking at the entire issue of divorce, we must stay focused on addressing the problem from a broad perspective. It is clearly evident from research that many social, emotional and psychological problems follow divorce. Divorce especially occurring when children are still growing, greatly affects their ability to handle conflicts in the negative. As a result of parental modeling it has been shown through research that the capacity of children entering stable marriages having suffered divorce diminishes greatly. During college for example, those students from separated families have a higher tendency of frequently using violence and aggression in response to conflicts when compared to those from intact families. Even when they enter marriage, children coming who have encountered divorce have a higher likelihood of being unhappy, escalating conflicts, being less communicative, frequently arguing and physically assaulting their partners. On this background there it is sufficient to believe that chances of divorce are transmittable through generations and as such divorce is not a good practice for society. Divorce has also been to have a marked negative impact on the child’s social skills. The children of divorce parents characteristically show aversive and coercive interactions that directly course normal peers to reject them. The fear of rejection among peers is double in adolescents whose parents have divorced and separated. The social skills in children from divorced families are affected in several ways; as compared to counterparts from intact families, they tend to be more hostile in response to adults, anxious, aggressive and inattentive and withdrawn. There are also a myriad of psychological impacts accompanying divorce which make some of the children vulnerable. Signs of anxiety, tendencies of depression and dysfunctional behaviors are more common in children from divorced families. Behavioral problems in children become more common following divorce and the conflicts that accompany the process place children at risk in terms of social competence. We cannot also forget the fact that as a result of divorce parental care diminishes significantly and affects children with the net impact of increasing the number of children who escape from their families at early ages. This is a cause for other major problems in the society such as homelessness, drug abuse, and crime (Ahrons, 2006). In conclusion therefore, divorce negatively impacts on society by shaking the basic building block which is family. It destabilizes the children as well as their parents mentally which might cause their warship and respect for God diminish hence the church is also affected. Due to financial conflicts that ensue, the capacity of affected children to learn and even attain good education diminishes. It also leads to the deterioration of the quality of life led by the divorcees as well as their children as a result of reduction in income flow. Government is also affected by the high rates of divorce; neglect of children, crime, abuse of substances and the costs of compensation in terms of government services go up. The child’s, health and mental welfare are adversely impacted as behavioral and psychiatric problems including suicide increase. It is therefore clear that divorce is affecting society negatively and as such, society must address the root cause of increased cases of divorce. Works Cited. 1. Constancer R. Ahrons. “Family Ties after Divorce: Long-Term Implications for Children.” Family Process 46, No. 1, 2006. 2. Hal Arkowitz and Scott O. Lilienfeld. “Is Divorce Bad for Children? The Breakup May Be Painful, but Most Kids Adjust well Over Time.” Scientific American, 2013. Available at: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/?page=2 3. Patrick F. Fagan and Aaron Churchill. “The Effects of Divorce on Children.” Marriage & Religion Research Institute, 2012. Available at http://downloads.frc.org/EF/EF12A22.pdf 4. Paul R. Amato. “Reconciling Divergent Perspectives: Judith Wallenstein, Qualitative Family Research, and Children of Divorce.” Family Relations 52.4 (2003): 332-339. Read More