Effective Communication Between Parents and Children - Essay Example

Conflicts between parents and children always exist. I think the best way to make the relationship between parents and children in perfect harmony iscommunication. As we grow up, our mothers have always been a part of our life. They are always there in our hour of need and provide us with emotional security through undemanding love and care. During childhood, we invariably like to go against their wishes but it is only in adult life that we realize the wisdom of our parents. In “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan, she tells us a story about her childhood. It is story of a Chinese mother’s ambition to turn her daughter into a musical prodigy so that she can compete with her friend whose daughter is a chess champion. The mother comes to America because it is a land of dreams and tries to force her daughter into learning piano. However, Amy does not want to follow her mother’s ambitious plan for herself and rebels. The story is narrative of Amy’s conflicts with her mother. The story raises the most pertinent question of parents’ desire to mold their children as per their expectations. It is a reality that every generation faces and even I have faced. Thus, it becomes important to know how effective communication can develop better understanding and improve relationship between the children and the parents. In the beginning of the story, Amy is “just as excited as her mother” about the idea of becoming a prodigy (383). She imagines herself in different roles and believes that once she has “become perfect,” (384) her parents will approve of her. However, her mother’s obsession becomes extreme when she is forced to take numerous tests on a daily basis. She says, “The tests are harder- multiplying numbers in my head without using my hands, predicting the daily temperatures in Los Angeles, New York, and London” (394). Eventually, her mother persuades her into taking piano lessons, which becomes the prime focus of determination. I had the same experience as that of Amy when I was a kid. When my mother was young, she wished she could learn piano one day. However, at that time in China, learning piano was such an unattainable thing that she hoped to realize her dreams of being a pianist through me. When I was five years old, my mother brought a piano professor, from the local school of music to teach me piano. She did not even ask my opinion about this decision because in China, you have to do whatever your parents tell you to do. There is no way to rebel against them at all. So I went to piano classes every weekend and my mother pushed me to practice the piano for two hours at home every day. At that time, I really hated my mom because I could not play with my friends. I tried to oppose her decision of rigorous daily practice by throwing tantrums and returning late from the school but unfortunately, nothing worked. I still had to practice the piano when she tugged at my ear to the bench. I have now realized that as we grow up and become matured, the parents’ decisions about our future hold great relevance. I have also realized that children rebel because they do not understand the importance of parents’ decisions at that early age. At the same, if the parents are able to share their hopes and expectations with the children and take their views also, the children would more happily comply with their parents’ wished. Indeed, effective communication between children and parents improves understanding. There was no communication between my mom and me. I just did things as per my mother’s demands. I do realize that at that time, I had no idea as to what is good for me and my future. But it is also true that I missed the joys of a carefree childhood. My mother has more experience than me and she could lead me to the right way when I was growing up. But I still wish that my mother had also understood my desire to play. Little time for play would have greatly helped me in enjoying my piano lessons. When I went to middle school after learning piano for almost six years, my mother asked me if I still wished to continue with the piano lessons. Mother had realized that I was a grown up person and capable of making decision for my future. By this time, I found that I had already fallen in love with this awesome instrument. So I decided to keep learning piano in the future. I was not pushed by my mother anymore as I could practice the piano of my own accord. I admired my friends that they could play outside instead of practicing the piano at home, but it was their turns to admire me that I could play the piano. The open discussion about my future course of action made me realize the importance of communication and how it can change the perspectives on issues which could cause unnecessary conflicts amongst people. The biggest problem between Amy and her mother was that they had no communication. Amy’s desperation for understanding is revealed when she cries “Why don’t you like me the way I am? I’m not a genius! I can’t play the piano. And even if I could, I wouldn’t go on TV if you paid me a million dollars!” (386). However, her mother is adamant that her daughter becomes the best child prodigy. She ignores her daughter’s mediocrity and just pushes her to the way that she wants her to go. The lack of understanding between the two created more conflicts. Amy’s mother should have made efforts to understand Amy’s views and desires. Communication fosters mutual respect and it would have greatly made the mother-daughter relationships more harmonious. The most important turning point in my life happened when I was fifteen years old. I had just graduated from middle school and I wanted do something I really liked. As the communication with my mother had improved, I talked this to my mother. I did not expect that she would consent to my request but I just wanted to let her know what I was thinking. To my surprise, she understood my urge to quit high school and just asked about my plans. The plan was pretty simple: look for a job within one month, work for two years, travel around in China with the money I earned in last year and then apply in universities in the US. She was impressed and gave her consent. I followed the plan and worked for three years I worked. At first, I played piano in a piano bar to earn my first pay. At that time, I really thanked my mom because if it was not her pushing me to learn piano when I was a kid, I would not be a piano player to earn money for myself. I also worked as waiter in a club. This made me see the world more clearly because that I had to face different kinds of persons and deal with different situations every day. After two years, I began to travel across China. I went to Inner Mongolia, Tibet, and most cities in the south of China. I enjoyed meeting people and learned a lot during the three years. I thank the God that my communication with my mother had improved, otherwise, like other Chinese students, I would also be sitting in classrooms from 6:00 in the morning to 10:00. Through Amy’s experience and my own experiences, it can be said that good communication is really important between parents and children. Effective communication helps parents to know what their children are thinking about and help their children to decide what is right and wrong. When children discuss their ideas with parents and adults, they are more open to learn from their experiences. Indeed, communication is the most important part of mutually satisfying relationship. Hence, parents must strive to develop better relations with their children through regular communication and make efforts include their opinion on issues that would impact their life. (1369) May 15, 2010 Ms./ Mr. XX The Supervisor XX College City Dear Ms. XX: Hello! “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan has been a very interesting book that I could completely relate with because I also went through the same experiences with my mother as Amy had gone with her mother. I found it easier to understand the feelings of Amy and therefore could easily write the essay that was both easy and difficult!. It was easy because I could easily see myself in the place of Amy. It was difficult because I had to express it in English which is a foreign language and I have yet to master it! The important thing during this period was that I was willing to learn and take the challenge of language barrier with real interest and strong will. While writing the draft of the essay, I was happy to note that while the language may not have been grammatically correct, I was able to express myself. The repeated corrections and consultation with the dictionary helped me to improve the essay. The supervisor’s comments on the layout and language also helped to improve my writing. It helped me to find new words and try different ways to express my exact feelings. I think I have been fairly successful in writing the matter in the way I had wished for. I also think that the reflective practices helped me to evaluate my progress and helped my overall growth as a writer. Indeed, the improvements would not have been possible without the proactive role of my supervisor. She remained the most supportive pillar whenever I became less confident of my abilities. Her trust on my competencies to overcome the doubts and hurdles has been the most vital ingredient of my academic success so far. Look forward to more positive interaction Sincerely, Student name Student id./ title Read More

At the same, if the parents are able to share their hopes and expectations with the children and take their views also, the children would more happily comply with their parents’ wished. Indeed, effective communication between children and parents improves understanding. There was no communication between my mom and me. I just did things as per my mother’s demands. I do realize that at that time, I had no idea as to what is good for me and my future. But it is also true that I missed the joys of a carefree childhood.

My mother has more experience than me and she could lead me to the right way when I was growing up. But I still wish that my mother had also understood my desire to play. Little time for play would have greatly helped me in enjoying my piano lessons. When I went to middle school after learning piano for almost six years, my mother asked me if I still wished to continue with the piano lessons. Mother had realized that I was a grown up person and capable of making decision for my future. By this time, I found that I had already fallen in love with this awesome instrument.

So I decided to keep learning piano in the future. I was not pushed by my mother anymore as I could practice the piano of my own accord. I admired my friends that they could play outside instead of practicing the piano at home, but it was their turns to admire me that I could play the piano. The open discussion about my future course of action made me realize the importance of communication and how it can change the perspectives on issues which could cause unnecessary conflicts amongst people.

The biggest problem between Amy and her mother was that they had no communication. Amy’s desperation for understanding is revealed when she cries “Why don’t you like me the way I am? I’m not a genius! I can’t play the piano. And even if I could, I wouldn’t go on TV if you paid me a million dollars!” (386). However, her mother is adamant that her daughter becomes the best child prodigy. She ignores her daughter’s mediocrity and just pushes her to the way that she wants her to go.

The lack of understanding between the two created more conflicts. Amy’s mother should have made efforts to understand Amy’s views and desires. Communication fosters mutual respect and it would have greatly made the mother-daughter relationships more harmonious. The most important turning point in my life happened when I was fifteen years old. I had just graduated from middle school and I wanted do something I really liked. As the communication with my mother had improved, I talked this to my mother.

I did not expect that she would consent to my request but I just wanted to let her know what I was thinking. To my surprise, she understood my urge to quit high school and just asked about my plans. The plan was pretty simple: look for a job within one month, work for two years, travel around in China with the money I earned in last year and then apply in universities in the US. She was impressed and gave her consent. I followed the plan and worked for three years I worked. At first, I played piano in a piano bar to earn my first pay.

At that time, I really thanked my mom because if it was not her pushing me to learn piano when I was a kid, I would not be a piano player to earn money for myself. I also worked as waiter in a club. This made me see the world more clearly because that I had to face different kinds of persons and deal with different situations every day. After two years, I began to travel across China. I went to Inner Mongolia, Tibet, and most cities in the south of China. I enjoyed meeting people and learned a lot during the three years.

I thank the God that my communication with my mother had improved, otherwise, like other Chinese students, I would also be sitting in classrooms from 6:00 in the morning to 10:00. Through Amy’s experience and my own experiences, it can be said that good communication is really important between parents and children. Effective communication helps parents to know what their children are thinking about and help their children to decide what is right and wrong.

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