Dealing with Unfaithfulness in Relationships - Article Example

Dealing with Unfaithfulness in Relationships Relationships are the major cause for alarm in most homes today. Today people across various societal paradigms are more worried about unfaithfulness in relationships than ever. There seems to be a general understanding that faithfulness in a relationship always begins with an individual. When one is not faithful to himself, then how can the person faithful to another, this is an issue requiring attention of persons in a relationship. The problem of unfaithfulness is not a reserve for the young generation alone but also predominant in the elderly people as well. However, the young generation is the most affected when it comes to the issue of unfaithfulness in a relationship. The unanswered question is why these observed trends. Moore argues that most people have often opted for a revenge mission whenever their spouse disappoints them by relating with other people other than them[Ric05]. This paper is going to examine the effectiveness and the appropriateness of the revenge system as an effective way of combating the love attack in an affair that has been rocked by the verge of unfaithfulness. A revenge attack largely seems, as a retaliatory mechanism is the most appropriate way of dealing with unfaithful partner. For a fact, this works better for anyone to someone who wants to discipline his or her cheating lover. I can support this on certain grounds which I consider wholesome and necessary especially in today’s context. First it is good for us to admit the fact that we all agree with each other, both men and women before starting off a relationship. If we do not agree with each other’s opinions and proposals, we would not have stepped even our broken legs into the affair. Now the grand question concerning this is, if we really consider our ideas mature and that we respect ourselves and our opinions, then when we revoke the humble decisions’ that we make when sober minded, are we not exposing our nakedness of the mind of the whole public? Are we disagreeing with the fact that we are mature before the whole public? The whole understanding here is that those who are able to relate at an age good enough to see the sense in living together as married couples are mature enough to make very mature decisions before engaging themselves into such serious affairs. The question of who is doing what contrary to the agreement made should therefore be out of the question. It is true that revenge missions carry very heavy messages to the offenders that they can never forget[Ric05]. A partner who is not faithful from the beginning can never be faithful while in marriage. It means the person made an immature decision that he or she did not respect. It therefore implies that this person never respected you right from the beginning. Can he or she then talk of loving you? Not really. Can you talk of loving him or her? This too sounds absurd. Depending on your point of argument, it seems that you concur with the reasoning that you want to revenge on him or her for cheating on you, fine; I said I fully recommend it. Before taking any steps during the times when we are depressed in thought and feel like we want to do something that do not really sound good, it is good that we ask ourselves several questions and answer them appropriately. Let us follow the following story and then draw our conclusions from it. A woman heard a rumor that her husband was cheating on her with her best friend and decided to find out the truth for herself after which she would act accordingly. She then set out a trap to catch the man who had been cheating on her for a long time and discipline him. On the material day, she set out for work as usual just after her husband had left for work too. However, on this day, this woman did not reach her work place and instead came back home after sometime only to find her beloved husband in their matrimonial bed with her friend. She passed by the bedside and picked a book that she pretended to have forgotten in the bedroom table and left humming a song without talking to the fear- paralyzed fellows in bed and she went back to work. On coming back that evening, she behaved as if nothing had really happened. For one week, she harbored the pain and never talked about it. She did this on the second and the third week and even the forth. On the fifth week her husband came to her and begun quarreling her for not bringing up an argument on the incident yet she had found her red-handed committing an offense in their matrimonial bed. She replied that she loved her husband and wanted to prove she made a mature decision to love him. Having realized how reasonable his wife had been, he went on his knees and apologized to her and promised he would never do that again. Since then, he never even dreamt of going with another woman. At this point, I want to respond to the question by asserting that people can learn both through the soft and the hard way. In most cases, the soft way has proved successful and humble only on people who can reason back and correct their backgrounds right from where the rains started beating them. On the other hand, to some, the hard way is the most appropriate. These are the people who cannot learn through the soft way. They must be forced to learn. Your spouse lies in either of the two extremes. There is no middle ground n marriage. One either decodes to love or not to love. The decision is made once and cannot be changed. The promise for marriage is a standing covenant signaling a life shared between two like-minded people. It was good if you however were patient with yourself and find out the truth for your self. What your friends are telling you might be true since some friends may not lie to us concerning such sensitive matters. I do not know how much you trust the stories from your friends to such an extent that you want to act from their rumors. Perhaps they are telling the truth, or may be not who knows if they simply want to take over your territory? Despite all these, the truth remains undisturbed that a man who really loves you will never cheat on your and a man who is tired and does not need you will not necessarily tell you to pack and go. Men usually employ weird techniques of tiling their partners. This is certainly one of these wired options that your man has decided to use for telling you off. Unless you do not want to open your eyes and see the sense that your man is tired with you, and then wait until the day, he will bring his many girls home and tell you to spend the night on one of the sofa sets in the living room. As far as the revenge attack is probing you to discipline your man on what he has done to you, ask yourself for what reason or is there a need disciplining someone who has already left you and is already pursuing other women? On a professional opinion, I do not really see a lot of sense in this. The fact is that the man does not love you. Stop wasting your time revenging on a man who has already left you. There are so many good men out there. Go and look for one but this time, take early precautions and choose wisely. Still there are so many men with such undeserving characters too. Be wise to test the iron before buying it. Open all your eyes before choosing the man of your life. Fir this one, it seems obvious that he is already not yours and I would stress on that, there is no need to revenge and besides it may be dangerous all the same. In reflecting back to the issue of discussion, revenge seems largely as the most appropriate method of dealing with unfaithful partner, but circumstances emerging in this particular circumstance calls for a mature and sober handling of the whole affair. Work cited Ric05: , (Moore 54), Ric05: , (63), Read More