Grief Is Complex and Depends on the Different Factors - Assignment Example

Essay Report on Grief and Crisis Student’s name: Institution: Instructor: Subject: Report on Dealing with Grief; Two Situations, Similarities and Differences Introduction Life is not always a straight line. At every instance there is always a problem to solve. There are always shortcomings which usually leave a person in his or her lows. Situation at the work place may not be pleasing, family life may be demanding yet one is not able to cope with the expectations, a nagging partner in a relationship amongst other situations in life. Among the many situations that people deal with are the grief of loss of a loved one and the crisis associated with a divorce and a failed relationship. Grief of loss of a loved one is a situation that every human being has undergone or if not yet must undergo in one time or another in his/ her life. This is due to the fact that every one living today ids due to die sometime in the future. Grief is complex, and depends on the different factors which the affected possesses, Maclin (2009). The time of death is not predictable. This makes death to occur as surprise hence causing grief to the friends and families of the deceased. According to Smith & Segal, (2011), grief is natural. It is the body’s way of responding to the loss of a loved one. Grief leads to several reactions by the affected person. The reactions are different due to the fact that different people have different ways of dealing with situations. That is why it is advisable for a person dealing with the grief of a loss of a loved one is supposed to seek help and assistance from his/ her colleagues or professional help if the situation is worse than normal. Normally, the extent of grief matters with the relationship of the deceased and the affected persons. The stronger the relationship with the deceased, the greater the grief that is associated with his/her death. Smith and Segal further argue that there are many cause of grief. Loss of a loved one through death is one of the reasons. However, another big cause of grief is a divorce or relationship breakdown. A relationship is based on love, which is mutual feeling felt by both parties and expressed openly. So is the case with a marriage since it is also a relationship which has been. Often people invest so much on relationships. The investment is usually I time and money. Couple usually spends a lot of time together leading to the allegiance of each one of them to the other. They share the same dreams and ambitions in life hence they put a lot in monetary form towards pleasing themselves and mostly towards ensuring that they lead stable lives. Relationships also lead to intimacy. Intimate relations between two people done out of love lead to a strong union between e two people. A relationship which has pleased the concerned usually leads to a marriage. However, something that many people in a relationship fear might happen. This may be unfaithfulness, infidelity, or interest may shift leading to the breakdown of the marriage or relationship. This usually leads to grief. As it is with the case with the grief associated with the loss of a loved one, the extent of grief is determined by the level of relationship. If the relationship has being been for a long time, its breakdown is certainly due to yield more grief. A divorce may bring about more grief than a relationship due to the many attachments that the couple had. As it is with grief associated with loss of a loved one, grief due to a relationship breakdown needs to be dealt with appropriately. Professional help might come in handy in certain cases (Saposnek ,2004). Similarities and differences between Grief Due To the Loss of a Loved One and One Caused by a Divorce/ Relationship Breakdown Loss of a loved one and breakdown of a relationship are both major causes of grief. Just as it is with the reactions to the loss of a loved one, a relationship breakdown also leads to different reactions by different people involved, (Meyer, 2011). The different reactions by different people are caused by the fact that people perceive things and issues differently. Some scream it out while others keep it to themselves. Whichever the reaction, there lies different effects. There are various stages that one undergoes through while dealing with grief. Loss of a loved one and relationship breakdowns both share the stages. The stages form the characteristics of grief. The first similarity is shock. It is a stage experienced in doth situations. According to DeFoore, (2006), shock is a natural way of the mind and the body absorbing shock. It is usually accompanied by disbelief. The affected person find it hard to come to terms with the reality, that is the death of a loved one or a broken relationship. Shock might lead to adverse effects for instance heart failures or strokes. However, DeFoore states that if the other stages of grief follow, the impact of shock reduces. The second stage which is common to both situations is sadness. This is a very common stage of grief in any situation. The stage is characterized with feeling of emptiness and loss of hope in life. The stage has a very bad effect on the esteem of the affected person. Loneliness is also a characteristic of this stage hence it is advisable that the affected person has close people around him / her to offer companionship. Another stage of grief common to both situations is guilt. Guilt is the feeling of one’s responsibility to the occurrence of a situation. According to Smith and Segal, (2011), the affected person may feel guilty of not being able to prevent the deceased’s death, not being able to do or say certain things to the deceased while he/she was still alive or for feeling certain things about the death for instance being glad that the deceased died to escape from the great pain he experienced during his long illness. Guilt associated with a broken relationship may be due to the feeling of the affected that they could have done something to prevent the break up. Some may feel that their actions may have contributed to the breakdown for example not giving enough time to their partners. The affected persons need to be given the reality of the situations by an external persons so as they can shift the blame from themselves. Another common stage to both of them is anger. The affected persons usually feel angry about anything and anyone. This is due to the feeling that the people might have done something to prevent the situation from occurring. This is a normal reaction and the affected should be given time to get over their anger. This usually takes some time and during this time assistance from the family members and friends should be made available to the affected. Another similarity between the two situations is fear. The affected persons are usually faced with a feeling of despair. They fear if they will be able to make it through life without the support of their loved ones. This may be attributed by the fact that their dependence on the affected might have been too much to be able to do without. Another similarity between the two situations is acceptance. With time, the affected persons come into terms with the reality. They realized that what has happened is something which was due to happen and it is up with them. This is usually the first stage towards healing and recovery from the experienced grief. Another big similarity lies in the healing from the grief. According to Sharma, (2008), communication is vital towards healing. The affected person should talk to someone and express his/ her feelings freely. This will enable the affected to ‘lessen’ his/ her emotional burden, as the saying goes a problem shared is a problem halved. Another healing strategy common to both of them is seeking professional help in instances of extreme guilt. This is done in a bid to prevent negative effects to the affected due to the grief. Some people often have a problem of letting go as they have lost a cherished one in their lives (Dyer, 2011). Professional help is aimed at helping the affected overcome grief (Metche, 2010.). Differences between Grief Due To the Loss of a Loved One and One Caused by a Divorce/ Relationship Breakdown The major differences with the two situations lie in their nature. Loss of a loved one is irreversible. This is due to the fact that one a person dies, he/she cannot return back to life. All that is left is memories of the deceased. This makes the effects of grief associated with the loss severe than those associated with relationship breakdowns. Therefore, dealing with this kind of grief must start with acceptance. Here, the affected must accept that nothing can be done to reverse what has happened and it was destiny that led to then death. Although different cultures hold different perceptions on death, the main cure is acceptance of the situation. On the other hand, a broken relationship or a divorce has a fair chance of being reversed. The couple may resolve their differences and agree to start over again. The couple may identify their differences and mend them up. If they still share love, they can get back together since love is the mending factor in any relationship. Another difference is the feeling of avenge. The feeling is almost nonexistent in the loss of a loved one. However, it is a major feeling in partners after a broken relationship. One of the partners may want to get back to the other due to the fact that he/she played with his/her feelings. Such feelings have resulted to bad effects and even death at times when one person resolves to murder the other. Conclusion In conclusion, grief is a feeling that every person must undergo as long as he/she is alive. However, different people cope with grief in various ways (Heart of Healing, 2008). Some may harm themselves in the process. Therefore, if not properly managed, grief leads to very bad effects. Some of the effects are depression and suicide. Grief management hence is important to anyone experiencing grief. Professional help is available from physiatrists. Professional help should be sought immediately after signs of complicated grief have been noticed on the affected. Some of the signs are imaginations of the deceased person, looking for the deceased in familiar joints and exaggerated anger among others. The best people to help one overcome grief are family members and friends. This is due to the fact that they know the affected well and the history associated with the loss. Cases of suicide and depression are on the rise and the two situations discussed above are some of the major causes. For this reason, proper grief management must be practiced. References Cathy, M. (2011). Are there any emotional stages one goes through during divorce? Retrieved 6 August, 2011from http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/copingandemotionalissue/f/stagesofgrief.htm Dyer, K. (2008). Loss grief and bereavement. Retrieved 6 August, 2011 from http://www.squidoo.com/grief-loss-bereavement DeFoore, W. (2011) The seven stages of grief. How to grieve without getting stuck. Anger management resource, 7 (11), 1-6. Maclin, L. (2009). Working with loss and Grief, London, Sage publications. Metche, M. (2010). Bereavement counseling. Connections body mind and soul, 4 (9), 1-7 Saposnek, T. (2004). The psychology of divorce. Strauss Institute for dispute resolution. Paperdine University, school of law, 1, 1-15. Sharma, S. (2008). Dealing with relationship crisis. Retrieved 6 August, 2011 from http://ezinearticles.com/?Dealing-with-Relationship-Crisis&id=1066090 Smith, M. & Segal, J. (2011). Coping with grief and bereavement. Resolve your health problems,4 (8), 1-14 Heart of healing, (2008). Living with Grief, 1-4. Read More