Intimacy in Relationships - Essay Example

Intimacy in Relationships Recipro in a relationship cultivates when people come together, there is usually an expectation that they are likely to respond to each other in similar ways. Reciprocity in any relationship motivates each partner’s behavior. In every form of union, there exists either positive or negative reciprocity. This helps ensure that in society violent reactions due to anger are minimal. Negative reciprocity encourages the violent reactions and even mistreatments while positive reciprocity encourages praiseworthy deeds and humility enabling one to endure hard situations (Vetere et al, 2005). There are different types of reciprocity. It may be one on one relationship between either individuals or governments or institutions. Most of them are usually long-term relationships that expect either direct reciprocity. One-to-many or many-to-one reciprocity is usually experienced in informal ties like bridal showers, and even community comes together. There is also generalized reciprocity that happens over a large group of individuals or institutions. Citizens also need to practice reciprocity with their states and communicate any possible conflict in ideas or even complains or gratitude to their rulers (Gillies, 2003). For people to get in any relationship, they experience strong feelings towards each other. A feeling of lust, liking, and love starts to grow towards each other. Close relations start growing, and with time, they become compassionate and committed into each other. These attractions may be due to their skin colour, walking styles, the way they talk, or their thinking. It may also because these two people share beliefs and have common interests. Psychologists argue that love is usually a passionate feeling, both physical and emotional. One gets utterly absorbed into the other and helps each other realize and understand themselves better by the compliments they get (Holmes and Johnson, 2009). Intimate relationships are cultivated as strong sexual feelings and feeling of completeness also onset. Passion and dependency on each other also are cultivated. This closeness between individuals results to complex emotions that grow for each other. Dependency for emotional support helps ensure of the well-being of each other. Partners offer each other with enthusiasm and positive personal view on their self worth. The level of intimacy develops in stages. It is not cultivated within hours or one day (Cole, 2001). The links established with one another foster the closeness and trust feeling for one another. However, peer relationships that are based on curiosity may tend to be more intimate briefly only for periods of self-discovery. The anxiety to explore on new areas may cultivate intimacy but only to encourage accessibility to what they intent to explore on (Vetere et al, 2005). Adult intimate relationships are expected to have communications and expression of one’s feeling freely. Feelings of gratitude or any other significant feelings both negative and positive can be communicated without barriers. The response that one gets may be corrective, encouraging, or even punishing. Incase of negative reciprocity the individuals should turn to the community for help on how to resolve the conflict. In an intimate relation, pain infliction is not encouraged and but rather repairing the harm done should be the main thing. Consoling should be part of healing but not further punishment though it may not be perfectly attained we should always put our best efforts into it. Justice should always be practiced, and no sexual assault should be experienced (Gillies, 2003). Intimacy should not practice self-concealment because it leads to loss of trust between partners. Openness is quite necessary for a relationship to survive. It enables a better understanding of each other and therefore a mutual understanding. More concealment deteriorates the relationship increasing loss of trust between partners. Every intimate relationship should evade drama in all possible ways and rather focus on increasing intimacy between the partners. Direct approach between partners increases their well doing. Each partner should maintain closeness with each other. This can be cultivated through gifts and other favors to only ensure that no tension develops between the couple (Holmes and Johnson, 2009). For couples sexual infidelity is one transgression that should not be encouraged. Partners should satisfy each other both sexually and emotionally to ensure that unfaithfulness does not tie them down. Causing physical harm on each other results to feelings of insecurity. Partners should rather offer protection to each other at all times. They should learn on anger management and therefore this would help enhance communication and better understanding of one another. Living with a person who you are not sure of the next move they will take on you is usually insecure for both the individual and the relationship itself (Cole, 2001). Partners who are committed to be together should sacrifice their personal desires for their relationships. They are usually ready to tolerate all kind of things only on determination to make things work. The willingness to sacrifice is so essential and therefore intimacy between partners is not lost. Time, money, and friends are not so necessary when compared to maintain a healthy relationship. High commitment levels help show ones loyalty and therefore this even boosts the levels of intimacy between partners. This ensures that partners are not threatened or intimidated therefore with trust it becomes easy for partners to share with one another (Criminol, 2007). Openness enhances connectedness between partners and therefore it reduces any possible tensions. Social environments are also necessary in initiating and maintaining intimacy. Those outside the relationship have influence on whether the relationship is likely to survive or not. Disapproval by people in the social setup may result to break down of intimate relations. This mostly affects women since they are too emotional and may decide to terminate the relationships. A relation that is approved gives the couples more courage to sacrifice for each other and thereby strengthening their intimacy. One should also be capable of critically analyzing the perfect match for them (Cole, 2001). Intimacy can also be fostered through physical appearances that are pleasing, offering favors to one another like money gifts and other notable treatments for each other. This develops the couple’s closeness and therefore influencing their attraction. However, one should not altogether lay their basis on favors but rather desirable personal qualities. One should consider their likes but not follow the social opinion on what they possess. One should feel free to express their personal opinions freely inconsiderate of whether it goes hand in hand with the social networks opinion (Criminol, 2007). To maintain, intimate relationships one should try to be able to keep personal information. This helps ensure that one is secure and do not handle the risk of being publicized. People who share most of their private information usually have more friends compared to those who are secretive. It is more possible for one to tell personal information to those they like or have feelings for. These helps develop on intimacy between individuals. The valuing of each other’s responses, opinions, and ideas can foster reciprocity in intimate relationships. There should be no reciprocation of any of the partners but should instead give the feeling of equal grounds for both. This helps enhance disclosure of personal information to their partners. Holding personal information by themselves, partners lower their intimacy levels, and this reduces sex interactions and openness (Gillies, 2003). Partners should put their best efforts, in order to increase their love experiences; through this intimacy is usually at the peak. Openness in relationships enhances predictability of one’s behavior incase of anything. Emotional support is so necessary to maintain intimacy between couples. This builds faith between individuals and helps build certainty about the future. This also helps ensure that commitment to oneself and even moral values. Morality helps avoid circumstances such as infidelity and even violence within a relationship. This helps maintain stability within marital relations and commitment to religious beliefs. Things like failure to sacrifice ones time for each other, money, reputation, and even energy can disrupt intimacy (Cole, 2001). This is a symbol of how committed one is and therefore enhances the stability of the relationship. In conclusion, reciprocity is quite necessary for any relationship to be maintained at healthy levels. Conversations between couples are quite necessary to maintain honesty, trust and an understanding between couples. Deep intimacy ensures that there is agreement between couples and therefore minimizing on chances of violence. All humans desire for a perfect, healthy, and intimate relationship that can be attained through sacrifice of one’s time money and other resources. Through getting to understand one another, one is able make decisions that suit one another therefore leading to healthy relationships. References Cole, T. (2001). Lying to the one you love: The useof deception in romantic relationships. Retrieved on 28 October 2012, from http://condor.depaul.edu/tcole/lying.pdf Criminol, B (2007). Women’s violence to men in intimate relationships. Retrieved on 28 October 2012, from http://www.brown.uk.com/domesticviolence/dobash.pdf Gillies, V. (2003). Family and Intimate Relationships: A Review of the Sociological Research. Retrieved on 28 October 2012, from http://www.payonline.lsbu.ac.uk/ahs/downloads/families/familieswp2.pdf Holmes, B and Johnson, K (2009). Adult attachment and romantic partner preference: A review. Retrieved on 28 October 2012, from http://www.attachmentresearch.org/pdfs/JSPR07204%20FINAL%20and%20ACCEPTED%20VERSION.pdf Vetere, F. et al, (2005). Mediating Intimacy: Designing Technologies to Support Strong-Tie Relationships. Retrieved on 28 October 2012, from http://web.mit.edu/bentley/www/mobile/papers/p471-vetere.pdf Read More