Review of John Gray, ph.d Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - Essay Example

Review of John Gray, Ph.D. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" enter the Number or College 24th October, 20121. IntroductionMen Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus an enormously well-liked book written by American author John Gray. The book sold more than 7 million copies. In 1990s it was the "top most ranked work of nonfiction" according to CNN. This book contains many suggestions for improving relationships between men and women through effective the communication style and emotional desires of the opposite sex.

As the name of the book shows that men and women are as different as beings from other planets. They have different natures. And one needs to accept and appreciate these differences, and stop expecting each other to act and feel the way they do.Accepting and appreciating what he does, or lenient him for what he ignore to do, is the most caring way a woman can treat a man and one of the easiest behavior to get the greatest out of him.According to Siann (1994), if you come across you find that men and women can evidently vary.

They look differently, dress differently, even speak, behave and walk differently. What is important is not that differences exist, but to ask why they exist and to what level these differences are significant (Siann, 1994). 2. Communicate your feelingsJohn Gray gives a practical, unique and established way for men and women to communicate and share better by recognizing the differences between them.Ferrebee (2001) stated that, when a woman conveys a subject or part of conflict, her initial desire is usually to be attending to and understood.

She’s most concerned regarding the relationship, and wants to observe that her comments and ideas are well received, and then the problem solving can start. To improve your communication in a relationship one wants to be expressive about their feelings and thoughts, discuss you expectations and cherish your memories in a positive way. Communication matters a lot, if you find yourself defensive, you find yourself becoming defensive, try instead to calm down for a moment to hear your wife worry.

This is tough to do, but when your wife be familiar with that you care about how she experience, she is more expected to listen to you and your idea for resolving the situation.( Ferrebee, 2001)2.1 Review of John Gray "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”In the book the author explains that a men talk in very literal terms and in an honest way for the purpose of relaying information while a women use dramatic vocabulary and expressions to full communicate their feelings. If men is facing any problem he would try to sort put himself before communicating them while a women sort their thoughts out in the process of communicating them.

Usually when a man is in trouble, he does not want his partner to show concern for him, but loves to be told that he will sort out the problem easily with his capabilities and skills. This gives him sense of confidence in his abilities. Whereas when a woman is in problem, she loves her partner to show concern for her, but does not want to be told that the problem is a easy one to solve because of the implicit dismissal of her concerns about the matter.He says the men are like rubber bands. They sometimes bolt for cover when they abruptly fear that their self-sufficiency is becoming threatened.

At that moment they may become completely distant, unapproachable, demanding the right to be left on their own and to be allowed not to express their feelings, but if they are given space for some little time they will soon feel better. Women are described as "waves” which at times sink into gloominess when they feel it is time for emotional cleansing and resolution. Most of the time they become negative in their outlook, and on every problem which troubles them, including very old ones which will usually have been addressed before, and if they cannot find any genuine problems to concentrate on, then they will find some other random things to worry about.

From the book we get to know that men and women need to remember that the emotional needs of the opposite sex are not the same as their own. If they will not understand these things arguments will arise. When men make some mistake they become annoyed and irritated. And if at that time you engage them in an argument, men may use strong and aggressive words to make sure that they win the argument, while women are normally forced to back down in the face of a totally determined and ruthless opponent.

To stop these arguments, men should make every effort to listen without getting defensive, and women should try to express their feelings without criticizing their partners.3. ConclusionIn relationship it is very common to feel negative about your partner and become upset on this. But the thing which is important is to encourage communication and discuss the problems with your partners. It may take some time and that they may need help from outside as well as from ourselves. To hold your partners responses, everyone should make small changes to their behaviors and communication towards the other.

­Love unavoidably changes over time: the perfect bliss that we felt for the first time when we fall in love doesn’t last forever. And with the time our personal faults and negativities inevitably become exposed. But if we stick tight during the ups and downs of life and with each other, then our first bliss gradually changes into a mature form of love which can become stronger and fuller with every passing year.4. ReferencesFerrebee, L. A., (2001). The healthy marriage handbook. United States: B&H Publishing Group.Siann,G., (1994).

Gender sex & sexuality: Contemporary psychological perspectives. Hong Kong: Routledge.