Adolescence and Identity Development - Essay Example

Adolescence and Identity Development: A Personal Exploration Adolescence is an intermediary stage of psychological and physical human development that usually occurs between puberty and early adulthood. It’s during this stage that teenagers develop a sense of self (identity) by knowing whom they are based on how they perceive themselves and not how people see them. Identity development of an adolescent is influenced by nature and nurture of early stages that precedes adolescent. I will use my personal experiences as a mirror of how identity develops among adolescents. When I was between three and five years, the age at which children develop a sense of initiative or guilt, I was not allowed to assert my power and control of what surrounded me. I was not allowed to direct plays and socialize with friends of my age. Furthermore, I was never allowed to play games like hide and seek with children from our neighborhood. I could only watch from a window because my mother thought that such games were dangerous. In addition, I was not allowed to have pets because they were perceived to be dirty. As a result, I developed a sense of self doubt and inadequacy which affected me throughout my life. My father left me when I was twelve, the age at which children develop a sense of pride in their abilities and what they accomplish by means of social interactions. My mother whom I was left with was not friendly and as a result we were never close. I had nobody to encourage me and commend about my daily undertakings. According to Erickson, I developed a feeling of doubt in regard to my capability of being successful. I was rarely grounded in my teen’s life as my mother had no time to educate me about the challenges of adolescent stage. In fact, she thought that by buying a lot of things could compensate for the time that she was not with me. In addition, my father who could have provided moral support was not there. I therefore entered adolescence stage without any knowledge of what it is and the likely challenges that I had to encounter. Extended relatives were an impediment in the development of my identity in the early years. At the age of 12, I thought I was grown up enough to be left to think like any other person and make decisions based on reason and evidence. I wanted to be autonomous so that I could be able to choose what was right for me. This was not possible because my uncles were harsh about my grades and quitting was never a choice. These heteronomy tendencies of my uncles did not please me. My uncles believed that I was too young and therefore they had to think for me and make decisions regarding my life and this affected greatly my cognitive learning. In addition, my mother’s religious dogmas were a hindrance in myself quest. She was extremely religious and sentimental and could not belief that I was capable doing some things. She wanted me to think the way she thinks and not to apply my thinking capabilities and the available evidence to arrive at some conclusions about my life. During my adolescent period, life was not smooth and it was characterized by bad choices. I entered this stage without any knowledge about what it is and the challenges that I was likely to face. I had nobody to guide me at this difficulty stage and I just wanted a family without clear knowledge that it was wrong to get married at such a young age. It’s at this stage that I wanted to explore my independence and develop a sense of self. Indeed, I was supposed to be properly encouraged and reinforced by means of personal exploration in order to come out of this stage with a feeling of control and independence in addition to unshakeable sense of self. Since I had nobody to guide me during this stage, I remained unsure about my desires and beliefs and as a result, I became confused and insecure about myself and future. There were significant psychological changes that affected my daily life during this stage. To begin with, I was sensitive, worried and self-conscious about the physical changes that my body was undergoing through. I remember sometimes I compared myself with friends. It’s also during this stage that I started to show concern about the rapid changes that my body was undergoing. These concerns included need for privacy, modesty and shyness in addition to sexual curiosity. In addition it’s at this stage that I begun disagreeing with my mother as I always took contrary views. I also complained about my mother whom I thought was interfering with my freedom and academic life. I wanted to be an Interior designer since early age but the University that offered this course was not available in our vicinity. My mom was clear to me that she would not allow me to go out of town to study. As a bad choice, I run away with my 1st boyfriend when I was 16 with great illusions for success. This was never the case. In fact at the age 17, I became pregnant and I felt like it was kind of punishment for mischievous behavior. These were painful moments of my life and I was angry with my father as I thought that I could not have led such a life had been available to guide me in this difficult stage now that my mother was not close to me. Although I now understand it was because of my action, it could have been prevented through proper encouragement and reinforcement. At the age of 19, I developed anorexia which I believe was caused by self consciousness of the shape of my body. I also felt that I had lost a lot my getting married at a young age and as a result, I lost appetite and interest in life. I was hospitalized in a critical condition and I recovered because I thought I had lost so much I could do in time of hospitalization. Although my ex-husband loved me, he was never accepted by my family. I remember very well how he used to work hard for things to work and he had even to drop out of school. He struggled so much so that I could live a life that was comparable to that of my family. When he could bear the pressure anymore, he became angry and I was left with no option except leaving him. When I think about this am depressed more because I feel guilty of what I did to him. I also feel alienated by my own family who look at me as a looser whose life had already come to an end. Everyone look at me as a spoiled child and they don’t believe that my marriage would even last for one year. Here in California where am living with my white American husband, life is not easy. It seems I have to drop by cultural identity that I was accustomed to and adopt a new one through behavior modification. In my home country, I was used to welcoming new people in a sociable manner, something that is rare here in California. In addition, I discovered that many people whom I happened to have been introduced to by my husband lacked interest in me when they realize that am from Mexico. This makes me to be uncomfortable because I don’t really know what is associated with Mexican immigrants. I sometime feel that, Californian people perceive me to be a criminal girl from a poor family who used illegal immigration means with intentions of staying in America. In addition, Mexican immigrants who live here in California are not really “Mexican” as far as culture is concerned. They have been assimilated in the American culture and they behave like Native Americans .This makes me feel that am unfit in both the Hispanic and white communities that are found here in California. The impact of cultural change was so great that it will take some time for me to acclimatize with it. In Mexico, I had never been treated as if am in need. But here, I feel unwanted because am taken to be a burden to the community (criminal, poor, illegal immigrant). This makes me feel unworthy, unwanted and I find myself in a withdrawal state by avoiding confrontation and stressful conditions. In California, people are so busy with their own life and it’s quite difficult to develop strong relationship more so if you are an immigrant. Life here is self centered-you and your family. Period! In addition, my husband’s family is not cohesive to an extend that, they cannot even meet and have fun in special holidays. On the contrary, members of my family are very close and even those who are very far away are emotional especially when they meet. I find myself in a deep canyon in the middle of an ocean with nobody to console me except my husband. Work cited Erikson, E. H. Identity: Youth and Crisis. New York: W.W. Norton.1968: 91–96. Read More