The Principles and Misconceptions in Effective Interpersonal Communications - Essay Example

? Letter of Advice Dear Peter and Mary, The principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications According to Nie (2001), communication always involves two parties as information is passed from one party (sender) to the other (receiver), hence termed as interpersonal. However, for communication to take place effectively, the process has to be subjected to certain principles. First one has to understand clearly what to communicate and the whole purpose of that particular communication. Moreover, it is important to understand the receiver very well and choose the appropriate technique of passing the message across. Effective communication begins by the sender presenting the listener with a rounded picture of what he/she wants to put across little by little, using various ways to allow her/her to visualize the whole situation. It is essential to follow through what you one says to avoid any contradictions which might cause confusions (Wheeler & Nezlek, 2000). The communication process becomes effective only when the intended feedback is given thus the communicator must develop useful ways of getting the feedback. Sometimes messages are not perceived by the receiver the way the sender intended due to various misconceptions. People come from different backgrounds with different values, attitudes and perceptions. Words used in the same context may be interpreted differently by different people. In addition, people always think that by communicating a lot and saying so many words it makes communication better. This is not the case since sometimes using so many words may divert one from the main purpose of the communication (Schutte, et al, 2001). People should also know that even though communication plays a very vital role in problem solving, it is not always a solution to one’s problems. Some problems need more than just words, thus in such situations communication has to be blended well with particular actions. Barriers to Effective Interpersonal Interactions Interpersonal interactions happen when people come together and exchange their ideas and feelings. Unfortunately not in all cases does the process of interaction become successful. At times effective interpersonal interactions may fail to take place due to various barriers between the two interacting parties (Downie, Mageau, & Koestner, 2008). The barriers range from physical, emotional to cultural influences on communication. Physical barriers are quite obvious, for instance when a deaf person tries to pass a message to a normal person who is not getting the meaning. Nevertheless, such physical barriers may lead to the creation of emotional barriers, blocking the main essence of interaction from being attained. Emotional barriers are mainly exhibited by individuals who were poorly socialized into the society, making them lack trust towards other people. Such individuals may fear to interact freely due to the fear of being judged, condemned or betrayed. Cultural orientation also plays a very significant role in interpersonal interactions since it forms the basis of one’s perceptions. People have a differing experience of the world depending on their cultural background (Schutte, et al, 2001). What one perceives to be right might not be perceived the same by others. Every culture has its own values and beliefs which differ in their ways of communication. Such differences are only considered to be barriers if they hinder the creation of a free relation between parties. For instance, if one has fear of relation with people of other races, they are not likely to open up to them during their interactions. Furthermore, different cultures socialize differently men and women and this may affect their interactions even when they are old. Assess their personal communications and improve their communication competencies Interpersonal communication will be best reach at when either party is ready to listen to the other (Corneo, 2010). Moreover, either party should be ready to study the other partner carefully to identify their strong as well as weak points. Focus should be placed on the weak points since they are the cause of almost all the problems that couples go through. Identification of weakness allows one to know how to handle their partners when they are angered or nervous and bring the situation back to normal. Through this it will be easy to attain effective interactions between them making their relationship to grow even stronger. Having engaged, it is believed that Mary and Peter and ready to bear one another’s weaknesses. For a newly engaged couple like this one, it is really important for them to know how to handle each other before they get into their final stage– marriage (Wheeler & Nezlek, 2000). In fact, it is clearly evident that the two individuals love each other very much. However, this does not mean that with all that love, misunderstandings won’t arise. Peter and Mary should be prepared for the worst if it happens and be ready with techniques of overcoming challenges that come their way. In cases of misunderstandings each one of them should try to calm down and address the problem from a practical point of view (Downie, Mageau, & Koestner, 2008). Racing into conclusions or silence will not solve the issue but can even make it more complicated. How Perceptions, Emotions, and Nonverbal Expression Affect Interpersonal Relationships Perceptions are created for our attitude, belief and value system. Values and believes are those things within us that aid us in attaching meaning to the world around us. People who have different cultural orientations are likely to differ greatly in their perceptions (Schutte, et al, 2001). When a child is born, it does not know what to do or what is expected of them. However, during the socialization process which is done in schools, community and even religion, they began to understand what is expected of them. This is how perceptions are gained, thus they are bound to differ from one individual to the other. An individual, who perceives something to be wrong, may feel offended if you expose him/her to such a situation even though to you it may be okay. Emotions are those things that interfere with our psychology making one to be anxious or nervous. Such feelings may hinder someone from sharing full information about them due to fear of the unknown (Schutte, et. al, 2001). Nervousness for instance may lead someone to sharing information that she/he never intended to share which may lead to a conflict. If emotions take control in a relationship, partners may end up hurting each other. On the other hand, meanings attached to non-verbal expressions may be given different meanings by different individuals. For example, pointing a finger towards a specific individual may be interpreted as rude by others people while others may take it as a normal way of identification (Downie, Mageau, & Koestner, 2008). Consequently, you have to study your partner carefully to know what she/he exactly means when they use particular communication styles. Emotional Intelligence and Its Role in Effective Interpersonal Relationships Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, control and assess emotions in any particular situation. This ability may be inborn or learnt and strengthened through practice or experience. EI is can be used to analyze one’s own emotions or other people’s emotions during an interaction (Corneo, 2010). Through this one can be able to monitor, sensor appropriately among the emotions so as to come up with useful actions and conclusions regarding the situation at hand. High tempered individuals mostly lack this ability since in most cases they result into actions that may land them into trouble later on. On the contrary, those who possess this quality are able to make rational decisions by calming down the emotions. Emotional intelligence is very important in creating interpersonal relationships since it leads one into making the right decision (Wheeler & Nezlek, 2000). First it helps one to perceive emotions by making a critical analysis of the whole situation including even non verbal expressions. Then the perceived emotions are used to create a cognitive activity through reason. Reasoning helps one to attach meaning to these emotions as well as trying to understand the cause of the emotions. The final stage under EI is managing emotions in order to come up with the reliable conclusions to the situation (Schutte, et al, 2001). By employing high emotional intelligence in situations, you will earn the respect and trust of the people which will result in effective interpersonal relationships. The Impact of Gender and Culture on Interpersonal Communications Wheeler & Nezlek (2000) explain that gender is the way we are socialized into the society in accordance to the roles we play. As a result men get to understand that their role in society is to be their families’ bread winners and protectors. Young boys can be seen emulating the roles that their father plays with the hope that they will also become fathers one day. Girls on the other hand, are socialized to be caring, patient and keeping their families united. Young girls copy what their mothers do in order for them to start practicing what is expected of them. Gender has been found to cause conflicts in relationships especially when one party does not like their gender roles (Corneo, 2010). However, other parties have taken the advantage to mishandle their partners to their favor for instance a man may use this to prohibit his wife from pursuing her career. Similarly, culture may impact negatively interpersonal relationships if its differences are not well managed (Nie, 2001). People should understand that different cultures have different ways of looking at life. In addition, they should learn to appreciate other people’s cultures, the same way other people have understood theirs. A problem comes in when an individual feels that theirs is the perfect one and start criticizing others. If you criticize one’s culture, she/he will feel offended because that is what they are composed of. Differences in cultures should be left the way they are because every culture has its own weakness hence none should be considered to be superior to the other (Wheeler & Nezlek, 2000). Without such understanding, it may be hard for the creation of effective relationship between individuals of varied cultures. Strategies for Managing Interpersonal Conflicts Corneo (2010) asserts that relationships are bound to experience conflicts at one particular point no matter how effective they may be. Some conflicts are not so intense while others may be intense that they cause psychological trauma. Couples should have best ways of managing conflict in case it occurs because they understand their partners better than anyone else. The first step towards conflict management is to face it head on and try to tackle it. Small conflicts may be made to become a big deal if they are not handled quickly. You can even employ the use of a third party if necessary however you should learn to identify him/her effectively in order to avoid troublemakers. Downie, Mageau, & Koestner (2008) argue that on conflict resolution, communication skills play a very important role since it is through this you may get to understand one another. As two parties who have come together, you should try to harmonize any differing opinions and ideas. Nevertheless, as you work through your conflict ensure that you are working n way towards minimizing your conflict. Furthermore, if a party is required to apologize, do so in order to show respect towards the other party. There are many things that us as individuals we do not like doing, however for relationships to work, we have to put our pride aside and compromise in other situations (Nie, 2001). For instance men don’t like apologizing to their women, but this is required for effective relationships. How Self-Concept, Defensive and Supportive Messages and Behaviors Create Positive and Negative Communication Climates Self concept is how one perceives him/herself and this is has a great impact in the way they build up their communication climate. Low self esteem which may result from a poor socialization process is one such attribute. People with a low self esteem mainly perceive themselves negatively and may seem very arrogant in their communication (Wheeler & Nezlek, 2000). They do so in order to defend themselves from people who seem to attack them on their weakness. Low self esteem may lead to ineffective communication since parties may end up arguing over some things which may even not be problems in actual sense. Such people may end up avoiding people as a defensive mechanism of avoiding ridicule. Other individuals may believe in themselves such that they do not want to take other people’s views (Nie, 2001). Such people domineer in a conversation making others to feel neglected in the whole process of communication. They do not allow other people to present their views, or if they do, they end up criticizing their views. They lack listening which is very important in effective communication. This implies that they may end up not exchanged ideas with others by the end of a conversation. However, such people may help others who are ready to learn by exposing them to a variety of options (Schutte, et al, 2001). Hence, people should know that in order for effective communication to take place, they should be objective in all their endeavors. References Corneo, G. (2010). Nationalism, cognitive ability, and interpersonal relations. International Review of Economics, 57(2), 119-141. Downie, M., Mageau, G. A., & Koestner, R. (2008). What makes for a pleasant social interaction? Motivational dynamics of interpersonal relations. The Journal of Social Psychology, 148(5), 523-34. Nie, N. H. (2001). Sociability, interpersonal relations, and the internet: Reconciling conflicting findings. The American Behavioral Scientist, 45(3), 420-435. Schutte, N. S., et al, (2001). Emotional intelligence and interpersonal relations. The Journal of Social Psychology, 141(4), 523-36. Wheeler, L., & Nezlek, J. (2000). Sex differences in social participation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54, 323-333. Read More