Outline for Letter of Advice - Assignment Example

Working on the “We” without Neglecting the “I” in “We” Outline for Letter of Advice I. Introduction A. Dear Luke and Mei, First of all, congratulations to your engagement. An engagement is one of the first steps toward a lasting relationship and is the step closest to the institution of marriage. I am here to help you both in improving your skills in how to effectively use interpersonal communication in your relationship. B. I intend to focus on particular topics that are relevant to your stage of relationship and your individual identities. C. The main points of this letter are the principles of and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications, the barriers to effective interpersonal interactions, emotional intelligence (EI) and its role in effective interpersonal relationships, strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts, strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening, and impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communications. D. Thesis: In order to effectively use interpersonal communication in your relationship, you need to understand the principles of and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications, eliminate or reduces barriers to effective interpersonal interactions, improve your EI, learn strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts, and enhancing active, critical, and empathic listening, and understand and respond to the impact of gender and culture on your interpersonal communications. II. Explain the principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications. A. Principles of effective interpersonal communications 1. People are always communicating with one another in verbal and/or nonverbal ways (Wood, 2010, p.27). 2. Interpersonal communication cannot be reversed (Wood, 2010, p.27). 3. Interpersonal communication concerns making ethical choices (Wood, 2010, p.27). 4. People derive meanings in interpersonal communications (Wood, 2010, p.28). 5. Metacommunication affect meanings too (Wood, 2010, p.29). 6. Interpersonal communication is essential to developing and sustaining relationships (Wood, 2010, p.30). 7. Effectiveness in interpersonal communication can be learned (Wood, 2010, p.31). B. Misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications 1. Interpersonal communication solves all problems (West & Turner, 2011, p.30). 2. Interpersonal communication is always good (West & Turner, 2011, p.31). 3. Interpersonal communication is a matter of common sense (West & Turner, 2011, p.31). 4. Interpersonal communication is similar with interpersonal relationships (West & Turner, 2011, p.32). 5. Interpersonal communication includes only face-to-face communication (West & Turner, 2011, p.32). III. Identify the barriers to effective communication and interpersonal interactions. A. Barriers to effective communication 1. Silence or refusing to communicate (Sole, 2011, p.9.1). 2. Placating which means to calm someone by being nice or by yielding to the other person’s demands (Sole, 2011, p.9.1). 3. Playing games (Sole, 2011, p.9.1). B. Barriers to effective interpersonal interactions 1. Language (Hogan, 2013, p.48). 2. Preconceptions and stereotypes (Hogan, 2013, p.48). 3. Discriminatory treatment (Hogan, 2013, p.48). 4. Judgment (Hogan, 2013, p.49). 5. Stress (Hogan, 2013, p.49). IV. Define emotional intelligence and its role in effective interpersonal relationships. A. Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to a person’s capacity to understand, communicate, and manage emotions and feelings, including the ability to understand and respond to the feelings of others (Sole, 2011, p.9.2). B. Role of EI in effective interpersonal relationships 1. Schutte et al. (2001) showed in their studies how EI affects interpersonal relationships. First, EI can boost empathic perspective taking and self-monitoring in social situations. (Schutte et al., 2001). 2. EI can improve social skills (Schutte et al., 2001). 3. EI can enhance cooperative responses toward partners (Schutte et al., 2001). 4. People with high EI tend to have close and affectionate relationships (Schutte et al., 2001). 5. People with high EI tend to have higher marital satisfaction (Schutte et al., 2001). 6. People with high EI tend to have greater satisfaction in relationships with partners (Schutte et al., 2001). V. Describe strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts. A. When partners experience conflicts, their emotions are affected, and so conflicts can impact the relationship if the conflict is not resolved according to the best interests of the parties involved (Sole, 2011, p.9.3). B. Strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts 1. Develop an assertive communication style because it is neither too passive nor aggressive (Sole, 2011, p.9.4). 2. Use positively toned conflict styles (Segrin, Hanzal, & Domschke, 2009, p.209). 3. Avoid projecting self-perceptions on your partner to reduce inaccurate assessments and misunderstandings (Segrin, Hanzal, & Domschke, 2009, p.211). VI. Develop strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening. A. Active listening entails suspending your responses while listening to full concentrate on what the other person is saying (West & Turner, 2011, p.249). 1. Strategies for Active Listening a. Suspend reactions until after your partner has finished speaking (Sole, 2011, p.7.3). b. Do not interrupt your partner even if you are hearing inaccurate information (Sole, 2011, p.7.3). c. Concentrate on hearing, understanding, and remembering particular pieces of information that you may refer to later (Sole, 2011, p.7.3). C. Critical listening refers to understanding and evaluating the speaker’s message properly through reading accurately both verbal and non-verbal expression and considering other factors, such as the personal circumstances of the speaker (Sole, 2011, p.7.3). 1. Strategies for critical listening a. Listen for your partner’s main points and determine their strengths and weaknesses so that you can prepare an effective response by courteously countering the arguments or presenting important points that the speaker may not have forgotten (Sole, 2011, p.7.3). b. Listen for opportunities to collaborate or to agree with your partner, and build rapport (Sole, 2011, p.7.3). D. Empathic listening takes place when you make a purposeful attempt to connect with another person and to put yourself in his or her shoes or give a supportive listening environment (Sole, 2011, p.7.3). 1. Strategies for empathic listening a. Do not make judgments about what your partner is saying because he/she may not know everything yet or may be too emotional to accept your responses (Sole, 2011, p.7.3). b. Listen with an open mind from the perspective of your partner (Sole, 2011, p.7.3). VII. Understand the impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communications. A. Gender effect on interpersonal communications 1. Differences in communication styles may be based on gender differences, although not all the time (Sole, 2011, p.8.3). 2. The work of Lakoff suggested that differences can be found between the communication of men and women in dimensions of use of power and influence, communication strategies, and conversational style (Sole, 2011, p.8.3). 3. Some gender effects on interpersonal communication are that men prefer direct and open communication, while women might want to be more face-saving or passive in communication style (Sole, 2011, p.8.3). B. Cultural factors’ effects on interpersonal communications 1. Three significant functions of culture in a society are to help people create their identity, to generate order and organization in the society, and to describe gender roles (Sole, 2011, p.6.2). 2. Anthropologist Edward T. Hall, in his 1959 book The Silent Language, asserts that "culture is communication and communication is culture" (Hall, 1981, p. 186 as cited in Sole, 2011, p.6.2). Culture shapes communication, and communication makes and supports culture by transmitting it through verbal, writing, and nonverbal expressions (Sole, 2011, p.6.2). 3. Culture affects how gender norms and behaviors impact interpersonal communications (Sole, 2011, p.6.2). 4. Chinese and American cultures are different because the first is more high-context and collectivistic, while the latter is more low-context and individualistic (Sole, 2011, p.6.2). You should know your cultural differences and develop strategies in respecting and appreciating them without necessarily losing your own cultural identity (Sole, 2011, p.6.2). VIII. Conclusion A. You can improve interpersonal communication in your relationship, and in order to do so, you need to understand the principles of and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications, eliminate or reduces barriers to effective interpersonal interactions, improve your EI, learn strategies for managing interpersonal conflicts, and enhancing active, critical, and empathic listening, and understand and respond to the impact of gender and culture on your interpersonal communications. B. You can improve how you communicate with each other by being more aware of how you speak and use nonverbal expressions in relation to your partner’s expressions too. C. Finally, you can communicate more effectively if you avoid using negatively-worded statements and become more empathic of the situation of your partner without neglecting your own needs and dreams. References Hogan, M. (2013). The four skills of cultural diversity competence. California: Brooks/Cole. Schutte, N.S., Malouff, J.M., Bobik, C., Coston, T. D., Greeson, C., Jedlicka, C., Rhodes, E., & Wendorf, G. (2001). Emotional intelligence and interpersonal relations. Journal of Social Psychology, 141(4), 523-536. Segrin, C., Hanzal, A., & Domschke, T.J. (2009). Accuracy and bias in newlywed couples' perceptions of conflict styles and the association with marital satisfaction. Communication Monographs, 76(2), 207-233. Sole, K. (2011). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. California: Bridgepoint Education, Inc. West, R., & Turner, L. (2011). Understanding interpersonal communication: Making choices in changing times (2nd ed.). Wood, J.T. (2010). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters (6th ed.). Massachusetts: Wadsworth-Cengage. Read More