Attraction and Intimacy - Coursework Example

Development of Loving Relationships Loving and satisfying relationships are an essential part of one’s pleasure and gratification. Nothing gives us more glee than a flattering relationship, and nothing brings us more regret than a wrecked relationship. All we have to do is try to develop loving relationships which give us bliss, joy and fulfillment despite grave disagreements and anguish at times. We have to give our “time, energy, and care” (Center for Young Women’s Health, 2006, para.1) to develop loving relationships which are based on shared conviction and truthfulness, accompanied with romantic love.

This paper tends to discuss the importance of love, good communication, patience, trust, and loyalty in developing loving and fulfilling relationships. These are the main ingredients of a happy relationship which exhibits ultimate attraction and intimacy. Rohn (2010) affirms that love is the essential prerequisite for a vigorous relationship. It is many steps further than being just an emotion. It is a commitment to people around us, whose existence means to us, that we will value them and treat them impartially no matter what may happen.

A relationship cannot be a gratifying one if we compromise upon esteem and self-respect. Respect and be respected; love and be loved; and, this will guarantee a rewarding relationship. Myers (2006, p.14, para.5) states that, “Discovering that an appealing someone really likes you seems to awaken romantic feelings.” So when we love someone, this sparks feelings of attraction, admiration, romance, and appreciation in the loved one. These elements are an integral part of an intimate association, in which individuals are ready to sacrifice their own pleasure for the sake of the other.

Good communication is another element of an intimate relation. It also becomes a reason for attraction between two human beings. Good communication requires particular skills to have one’s ideas conveyed to the other person, and to listen to his ideas patiently. One should try to let the other person know explicitly what one wants without having him solve the puzzle. Keeping others thinking what the actual problem is, will do no good. While communicating, one must be humble and compromising instead of trying to control the other person’s thoughts, and should be able to give space to his ideas too.

Communication is important for maintain the relationships once they have developed. If there is no communication, there is enough room for misunderstandings and even life-long trouble arising from emotionally distant relationships (Nicotera, 1993, p.3). Patience is another vital ingredient for a loving relationship. We must understand that there will be times when our relations will disappoint us and vice versa, and that no person in this world is perfect. We also disappoint others, and should expect others to fail us.

It is patience that maintains a relationship through turmoil. Showing patience to others’ disagreements shows that we value them and respect their opinion, and this is natural for people to stay relaxed with people who tolerantly listen to them and try to understand the problem patiently. This fosters intimacy and passionate love among relationships, which is “emotional, exciting, intense” in nature (Myers, 2006, p.421, para.7). Trust and loyalty form the foundation of intimate relationships.

Without trust and loyalty, the intimacy that may have developed will be fallacious. When we trust the other person, this means that we are giving him enough space so that he can pursue his own interests, can make relationships, and can do everything he wants without getting ourselves insecure and jealous. When we tell others that we trust them in whatever they do, they will also start trusting us and this is what is necessary for developing a good relationship. Same is the case with loyalty. Loyalty encourages love in relationships because, when one is loyal to the other person, one commits himself to stand by him in all thick and thin.

He promises to support him whenever he is called for help and to continue the relationship without any shadow of unreliability. Loyalty includes in itself the devotion that one shows to his relations, emotionally and physically. It is very satisfying for one to think that he has got somebody so loyal who is always available in difficult times, and this nurtures the relationship. In short, it is vital for a healthy relationship that the two partners involved show mutual trust, love, patience, loyalty and faithfulness to each other along while communicating properly about each other’s feelings and problems, ignoring the disagreements, and solving problems with endurance.

Where even one ingredient is missing, the chances of sorrows arising in the relationship rise dramatically. Hence, to foster attraction and intimacy within a relationship, it is important to nurture romantic and absolute love and its main ingredients, which are good communication, patience, trust, and loyalty. References Center for Young Women’s Health. (2006). Healthy Relationships. Retrieved April 19, 2010, from http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/healthy_relat.html Myers, D.G. (2006). Social Psychology, tenth edition.

New York, USA: Tata McGraw-Hill Education. Nicotera, A.M. (1993). Importance of communication in interpersonal relationships. Interpersonal Communication in Friend and Mate Relationships. USA: SUNY Press. Rohn, J. (2010). Basics of Healthy Relationships by Jim Rohn. Retrieved April 19, 2010, from http://www.jimrohn.com/index.php?main_page=page&id=1238 References