Do Nice Guys Finish Last - Essay Example

?Running Head: Do Nice Guys Finish Last? Do Nice Guys Finish Last? Inserts His/her Introduction Social scientists have long been debating the differences and possible explanation of differences between genders. The interaction of two genders has also gone through the lens of many leading psychologists and many interesting theories have developed as a result. The sex difference in the mating preferences is a topic of interest for psychologist because it helps us better understand and explain gender differences. The mating preferences of males and females will be discussed in this essay. This discussion will help us answer the main question that is whether nice (positive personality traits) guys, in general, finish last when it comes to mating with the opposite gender or not. I argue that nice guys do not generally fail (compared to the ‘bad’ boys) in having a sexual relationship with females. Do Nice Guys Fail? There are many things that affect the decision making of males and females when it comes to mating. The choice for sexual relationship is influenced by many factors like attractiveness, agreeableness, stability etc. These influences are different for different genders. Males have different preferences when selecting sexual partners and females focus on entirely different things before getting into a sexual relationship. These differences are due to psychological, social and evolutionary reasons. Males are, and have been, comparatively free in society and have consumed great amount of socio economic power. Women on the other hand are still not as free as men, and are not treated equally in the world. There are also physical and mental differences in genders. All these differences play a major role in mate selection decision. The decision making process is influenced by all the above mentioned factors and more. Nice guys are men who possess positive personality traits like agreeableness, economic success, respectable social status, socially extrovert, and politeness. These guys have a better chance of mating with females because they possess characteristics that are likeable for the society as a whole. The fact that these characteristics or traits are known as positive traits tells us that they have a positive effect on the society. These traits result in social admiration therefore they should also help a male in attracting a female sexual partner towards him. Females are also a member of the society and when society itself has given a positive label to a set of characteristics then that means all members of the society (male and female both) have a positive opinion about a ‘nice’ guy. Research suggests that females are more likely to choose mating partners, who are intelligent, stable, conscientious, educated, socially skilled, and politically or religiously compatible (Furnham, 2009). This makes it clear that females are more likely to be attracted towards nice guys than towards guys who have negative personality traits. The needs of women are of a safe and stable partner so that their offspring can be safe. This is why they go for resources (time, money, and status) in sexual relationships (Greenlees & McGrew, 1994). All this is logically understandable because we see in our daily life that successful people are given attention and are praised by the society. A person’s success in this society is measured by the wealth he or she has accumulated and social status. A female will therefore want to have a sexual relationship with a partner that is successful and this is understandable. Female have to look for future stability because they are weak and dependent on their male partners therefore they will look for a ‘nice guy’ when it comes to sexual encounters. This is why nice guy will not finish last when it comes to mating with the opposite gender. There are many individual differences in a specific gender and these differences can also not be ignored easily. These individual differences can also affect the decision making of females when they choose their mating partners. Studies have focused on gender differences but not on individual differences in a particular gender. Studies have suggested that the Dark Triad (combination of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism) have a positive correlation with short term mating (Jonason, et. al 2009). This means that people who possess the three above mentioned traits are more likely to be successful in short term mating strategy but not in long term mating. This correlation was also seen more in males than in females. This study seems to disprove the main argument made in the essay. This study attempts to explain that short term mating strategy works for people who have the Dark Triad therefore ‘nice’ guys will come second to the ‘bad’ boys. This is the case because ‘bad’ boys tend to manipulate girls in the short run and therefore are more sexually successful than ‘nice’ guys. I disagree with the case made by the Jonason, et al (2009) because short term mating goes against the evolutionary nature of human beings. Women want to keep their offspring safe and therefore they want to mate with men who can fulfill their need for protection. If the conclusion drawn by the article is accepted then it will go against the logical and evolutionary nature. If women choose male partner on a short term basis with negative characteristics then they will not be able to protect their offspring from problems. It is important to note that casual sex was not ‘casual’ for women in the ancient times due to pregnancy risks (Trivers, 1972). Females have developed a habit of choosing positive trait sexual partners for long term relationships because they want safety and protection. This means that ‘nice’ guys have and will always succeed. The success of the Dark Triad is only very recent and may only be limited to the younger generation who watch movies and are risk takers. This success is not representative of the whole society where ‘nice’ guys are still more successful. Conclusion Men with positive personality traits will also succeed in getting the sexual partners because they satisfy the needs of the opposite gender. Short term mating strategy only works for females who belong to the digital generation. Other than that for both short term and long term mating behavior ‘nice’ guys are preferred. Men with negative personality traits go against the evolutionary nature of women who want protection and safety for their offspring. This nature was developed in a world where contraception did not exist so there was no such thing as a short term mating preference for females. This is why males with positive personality traits will succeed in getting mating partners from the opposite gender. References Furnham, Adrian. (2009). Sex differences in mate selection preferences. Personality and Individual Differences 47: 262-267 Greenlees, I., & McGrew, W. (1994). Sex and age differences in preferences in and tactics in mate attraction: Analysis of published advertisements. Ethology and Sociobiology, 15: 59–72 Jonason, et al. (2009). The Dark Triad: Facilitating a Short-Term Mating Strategy in Men. European Journal of Personality, 23: 5-18 Trivers, R. (1972). Parental investment and sexual selection. In B. Campbell (Ed.), Sexual selection and the descent of man, 1871–1971 (pp 136–179). Chicago: Aldine de Gruyter Read More