Conflict managment and mediation : I-Statements - Essay Example

College: Conflict Management and Mediation: I ments Conflicts occur in almost every segment of the society, however conflicts should not persist as it leads to disarray and disharmony among people. There are many ways of solving conflicts; one of the common means is through mediation. There are certain statements that prompt conflicts, some of them will be discussed below. ‘You did not inform me about the availability of a job in your organization’ This demonstrates an individual escaping responsibility.

I did not enquire whether there were any vacancies in your organization. This demonstrates that the individual is taking responsibility.I-statements play a big role in enhancing effective communication and promotes effective conflict resolution. Thus using the ‘I- Statement’ makes people to feel that they are part of the process unlike stating things as a matter of fact as It can alienate people from us because their experience may not be the same as ours (Cahn & Abigail,2007).People always have different opinions about things, when someone states theirs as if it is a fact, it could lead others to see them as rigid in their view and not someone they want to engage with.

This could involve making statements such as ‘studying in this school is not good, no-one gets the grades they deserve.’Using an ‘I-statement’ strengthens the view about the person talking and not the entire situation. In addition, when the ‘I’ statement is used, it does not present alienation or interpersonal conflict in an already difficult situation. Secondly, using the ‘I-Statement’ shows we can influence the outcome of something. When we state something about a situation as a fact rather than acknowledge it as our own experience, it implies we are powerless to have any influence over our responses to the situation.

This is a common way in which conflicts become entrenched. Those rogue students will never hear what the teacher says. These allow for a review of our own responses to the situation that exists. Using ‘I-statements’ gives one the opportunity to explore, become creative and change in response to the situation. When the situations are described as facts this implies they are fixed and unchangeable (Schwartz, 2002).Negative forms of communication involve an inability to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person, explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions, and fear of abandonment, an inability to compromise or see the other person’s side and the fear and avoidance of conflict; the expectation of bad outcomes.

Positive forms of communication involves ; capacity to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person, Calm, non-defensive, and respectful reactions, a readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or anger The ability to seek compromise and avoid punishing. Listen for what is felt as well as said. When we listen we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people.In Managing and resolving disputes you need to:Focus on the present.

If you are holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be greatly impaired. Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, it is important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Should be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you are unwilling or unable to forgive. These conflict mediation techniques should be integrated into the organization culture (Bolton, 1986).ReferencesBolton, R. (1986). People skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflicts (2nd ed.). New York: Simon & Schuster. Cahn, D., & Abigail, R. (2007) Managing conflict through communication. (3rd ed.)Mayer, B. (2002). The dynamics of conflict resolution: A practitioners guide.

San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Moore, C. (2003) The mediation process: Practical strategies for resolving conflict. (6.Wilmot, W., & Hocker, J. (2007) Interpersonal conflict. (7th ed.). Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2002). Crucial cnversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high. New York: McGraw-Hill. Schwartz, R. (2002). The skilled facilitator: Practical wisdom for developing effective groups. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.