Extra-Marital Affairs in the Workplace - Essay Example

Extra-Marital Affairs in the Workplace Introduction In this paper I will try to discuss in detail the issue of extra-marital affairs in the workplace. My main goal will be to prove that those kinds of liaisons are mainly unethical , hurtful for many and potentially costly in regard to legal repercussions. For the purpose of this essay I will become a counselor for two people that engaged in a work affair and went through a lot of trouble because of it. They seeked counseling as they were both emotionally drained and utterly confused, without any exit strategy. The Best Possible Example The problem they faced was by no means new. It happens all the time, only from time to time everybody hears about it. In January 1998, The Washington Post broke, for the first time in mainstream media, a story about extra-marital affair United States President Bill Clinton was having with 22-year old, White House intern, Monica Lewinsky. The news shocked American and international public. A story like that does not happen every day, so the media had a field day for months. The President, himself, swiftly denied any sexual relations with Lewinsky, but, subsequently under the burden of evidence that included infamous blue dress, admitted to it and was charged with perjury. His license to practice law was suspended in his home state of Arkansas, and he was, also, fined $90,000 for giving false testimony to the grand jury. Furthermore, predominantly Republican Congress impeached him as a precedent in the U.S. history. Clinton was tried by the Senate and in the end, was acquitted of all charges. This vote in the Senate allowed him to stay in the office for the remainder of his term. Later on, Clinton personally, called the whole episode “a terrible moral error.”(CNN.com, June 21, 2004) “Monicagate”, as it was called, illustrated in very clear terms, the consequences of inappropriate relations between supervisors and employees in any workplace environment. Clinton’s post magnified to the fullest the hype around it, and somewhere in that hype, public forgot that this was nothing more or less than a boss and his subordinate engaging in ethically questionable activities. Conflicting Values As a counselor, after meeting my clients, I was posed a serious question. My first assertion of the issue was to resolve the problem in a least harmful way as I was clearly presented exclusively with negative outcomes. Both of my clients were married, there was a significant age difference between them and one was much higher ranked than the other. On the other hand I sensed they had feelings for each other and thus was presented another challenge- as a counselor I am supposed to strengthen human relationships. So, there I was, facing conflicting values that did not make my job easy. I knew I have to choose between the two options, and after couple of sessions with my clients I had a plan of action, discussed further later on. Primary Stakeholders My clients were my primary stakeholders. The ongoing affair was, after all, affecting them the most. My male client, a boss in this case, said numerous times during our sessions that he has feelings for my other client, but is not able to break the ties in his marriage in which he has two children. I perceived his motivation for the affair as strictly emotional, and judged that motivation as questionable but not completely unacceptable. Love is an important part of anybody’s life and, as it has been said in all the languages of the world, love happens from the heart and is not a feeling we can predetermine in our mind. Love, also, fulfills each and one of us, makes us better individuals and gives us that happy feeling we need to carry on our life every day. Therefore, love cannot be discarded as irrelevant, even in cases that are troublesome or, otherwise morally wrong. As I was reading Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina some years ago I could not help but feel bad for the main character, who was married to a man she did not love, and was in love with a man she could not have. At the end, she committed suicide, because she could not live a happy life and not even the fact that she had a child she loved dearly, prevented her from doing so. My female client said the same thing, but by observing her age, I concluded that she might be confusing real feelings with fascination with the man in the position of power. It is important to distinguish the two, since a line that separates right from wrong in ethical terms tends to be blurry, stretchy and porous. Code of Ethics In this kind of situation I had to consult with NASW Code of Ethics for guidance. Modern day societies, especially in the western developed World, as open as they are, still ethically question emotional involvement of a manager with an employee at work. Companies and professional organizations usually try to prescribe what is inappropriate through codes of ethics. I believe that social workers as providers of help and emotional support to others, are to be held to the highest possible moral standards. I, also, believe that as a social worker, when presented a case like mine, I need to consult it and stick to its standards or lose credibility to make decisions about assisting my clients. NASW Code of Ethics is divided into six subsections that deal with social workers’ ethical responsibilities to clients, their profession, colleagues and broader society, as well in regard to practice setting and professionalism at work. In terms of this paper the most important is the relationship between social workers and their colleagues. Article 2.07(a) states that “social workers who function as supervisors or educators should not engage in sexual activities or contact with supervisees, students, trainees, or other colleagues over whom they exercise professional authority.” 2.07(b) says that “Social workers should avoid engaging in sexual relationships with colleagues when there is potential for a conflict of interest. Social workers who become involved in, or anticipate becoming involved in, a sexual relationship with a colleague have a duty to transfer professional responsibilities, when necessary, to avoid a conflict of interest. “ A little further in subsection 2 article 2.11(d) states “When necessary, social workers who believe that a colleague has acted unethically should take action through appropriate formal channels (such as contacting a state licensing board or regulatory body, an NASW committee on inquiry, or other professional ethics committees). “ In this article there is a visible hint of possible legal repercussions that will be discussed later. In subsection three article 3.03 calls for “Social workers who have responsibility for evaluating the performance of others to fulfill such responsibility in a fair and considerate manner and on the basis of clearly stated criteria.” Finally, in article 4.03 the Code prescribes that private conduct will not interfere with social workers’ ability to perform their duties. All of these point to the fact that NASW is concerned with improper emotional connections among employees and especially between managers and their subordinates. All the articles of the Code cited represent, at the same time, a solid base in understanding ethical dilemmas posed by those kinds of behavior. In other words, if it is discussed in the Code, it is something that can potentially be unethical. After reading the Code I knew I have to apply same principles to my case at hand. Secondary Stakeholders As damaging as workplace affairs could be to, both managers and employees, at the end of the day, two people involved are adults that, presumably, can be held responsible for their actions. Unfortunately, they are, frequently, not alone in feeling the consequences of their actions. The other stakeholders in this case are spouses and children, since both my clients were married, and, also, work colleagues. Ultimately, any misconduct, can compromise their respectful profession as a whole. From our conversations I understood that my male clients spouse was aware of this affair and that created some serious marital problems, to the extent that his wife was threatening to divorce him and deny access to children. Extra-marital affairs tend to be very strenuous on families anyway and, often times lead to divorce and family break-ups. In fact, 17% of all divorces in the United States are caused by adultery according to Associated Press. The same source reports that 90% of all Americans believe that adultery is ethically wrong, with 35% saying that it should be treated as a crime. (Menstuff.org) Clearly, American public is very negative towards it. Children, also, are victims. When a marriage ends in divorce, children are split between two parents, often not cared for the same way as they used to be. We have more and more single parents, unable to take care of their families, dependent on governmental help, which, in turn, raises cost for the whole society. Winston Churchill said:” “There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained” (Thinkexist.com). When a family is broken, it is another missed opportunity. In terms of workplace, affairs among employees are damaging too. Even if the affair stays unexposed, there is always gossip and rumors that affect work productivity, raise questions about the future outcomes, and make workers think about the fairness and objectivity of their supervisors in assessing fairly their personal performance. All this turns any place of work into unhealthy one. When the affair is exposed, this does end rumors, but opens new problems. If people involved are disciplined this may require new supervisors and restructuring of responsibilities, which can be stressful and time consuming. Legal Issues The situation my clients were in was, obviously, dangerous and ripe for possible legal repercussions. My male client was facing divorce after 17 years of marriage and, more importantly for him, the loss of access to his children. He stated numerous times that children are what keeps him going as he is proud of them and cannot imagine his life without them. On the other hand, my female client, much younger but still married was also in unfavorable position. She showed a lot of understanding for the situation of my male client, but, also, she stressed that the whole affair issue affects her too. My male client was close to be in divorce court, going through embrassing procedures and maybe losing custody of his children. He had two main extraneous circumstances- he was a man, and courts tend to allow children to live with their mothers, and he was having an extra-marital affair which inflicted even more harm on his chances to have access to children. The other possible legal repercussion in this case was work related. Their affair was not exposed yet. However, there were constant rumors about it and it was just a matter of time when it will become public. When and if that happened both my clients would be scrutinized and according to company rules would probably be forced to leave, especially him as a manager. Course of Action As mentioned before, after several sessions with my clients I had a course of action ready. First, I offered my male client to invite his wife for one of the sessions, thus giving them a chance to resolve things in a structured manner and without courts being involved. His wife refused and, according to my client, was very resolute in asking this affair be stopped. He was in favor of that, for reasons already listed. I, as a counselor, saw this as an opportunity to reinforce that idea. After all, I felt it was the only way, or better yet,it was the way that was least negative and harmful. I also, suggested that one or both of my clients change the place of employment, as that would relieve tensions at work and pressures on them and their co-workers. The next step in my plan was to continue with counseling sessions, separately now, as it was obvious that both clients would need more support and guidance. Finally, I once more invited my male client to see me with his wife or seek marriage counseling someplace else. I was positive that would be very beneficial and would bring them back from the edge of disaster. As for my female client, she, because of her age, was less stressed and showed more strength and hope for the future. The Worst Case Scenario and Contingency Plan In this example, the worst case scenario that I could predict would be a rebound of one or both of my clients and continuation of their affair. My plan was to keep them under my guidance long enough to allow them to forget about it and go back to their everyday lives as they were before. Also, by inviting my male client’s wife to seek family counseling I was hoping to extinguish her idea of a divorce. Read More