Expectations of Marriage among Cohabiting Couples - Essay Example

Expectations of Marriage among Cohabiting Couples Introduction An article written by Lixia Qu en d “Expectations of Marriage among Cohabiting Couples” published in the Australian Institute of Family Studies: Family Matters delved into the emerging and contemporary issues surrounding cohabitation. Hill & Hill (2005) defines cohabitation as “living together in the same residence, generally either as husband and wife or for an extended period of time as if the parties were married. Cohabitation implies that the parties are having sexual intercourse while living together, but the definition would not apply to a casual sexual encounter.” This essay aims to highlight the main points of the article and to discuss its relevance to the issues in Lesson Four. Further, the topic would be explored in the following ways: (1) relating the topic in terms of relating it to the course readings; (2) determining how does the article reflect an aspect of coupling as described in your course materials; (3) stipulating specific ways the article encouraged one to take a closer look at topics covered in the course; and (4) comparing and contrasting findings or points made in the article and readings. 2. Main Points in the Article The author averred that the issue of cohabitation has drastically changed over a period of six decades. It was previously perceived as a deviant act during the 1950s and 1960s. Slowly, this practice was accepted as a practice prelude to marriage. Several factors contributed to the change in perception on cohabitation, to wit: (1) reduced pressure on cohabiting couples to eventually marry; (2) changing views on expectations to marry depending on age, status, and duration of relationship; (3) perceived problems in relationships; (4) ultimate marriage goals. Contemporary trends show a marked prevalence and increase in cohabitation rather than marriage. According to Qu, “while cohabitation was largely a stepping stone to marriage for earlier generations, more recent generations of cohabitors are less likely to marry and more likely to separate than cohabitors of earlier generations” (2003, 36). However, it is interesting to note that despite the prevalence of cohabitation in today’s generation; the basic premise for its proliferation remains the same: couples opting to cohabit eventually hope or expect to get married sometime in the future. 3. Relation to Course Readings The article confirmed the lessons relayed especially during the discussion of the topic on Sex and the Emergence of Sexual Identities. The lessons indicated that “changes in sexual activity and attitudes have weakened the role of marriage as the core of family life. Marriage must now also compete with singlehood and cohabitation, both of which are also on the rise.” In addition, I believe that the social and economic opportunities and constraints involved in the consideration of entering a marital partnership play an important part in the emerging trends on cohabitation. As couples recognize and realize that one of the factors for failure in marriage is financial or economic in nature, more and more couples prefer cohabitation than marriage. In Arlene Skolnick’s article, “Grounds for Marriage: How Relationships Succeed or Fail”, the author states that there are “two marriages, the husband’s and the wife’s.” She poses the question of whether or not marriage is a dying institution. While marriage is still quite alive, the rates are obviously definitely declining as validated by Qu’s article. It could possibly be an effect of the growing preference and acceptance for cohabitation. 4. Cohabitation as an Aspect of Coupling The article of Qu validated the premise that cohabitation reflects indeed an aspect of coupling. The definition explicitly stated that cohabitation implies that the parties are having sexual intercourse while living together – which is the basic meaning of coupling: the act of linking together or forming couples and the act of uniting sexually. According to Therborn (2004, 194), informal cohabitation may operate to postpone marriage or provide an alternative for coupling. However, the article written by Qu aptly concluded that people are waiting longer to get married; this could account for couples who cohabit before marriage, but does not explain the idea that cohabitation is replacing marriage as an institution. She emphasized that “many people who are cohabiting are still hoping to “tie the knot”. Marriage remains the preferred family form” (Qu, 2003, 39). 5. Ways the article encouraged one to take a closer look at topics covered in the course. The discussion proffered by Qu encourages the reader to look closely on topic about sex and the emergence of sexual identities, marriage markets and social exchange, and the sacrament of marriage as a market. The points highlighted by Qu on factors contributing to the proliferation of cohabitation as a prolonged relationship delaying the sacrament of marriage could be alarming in other societies. Although predominantly accepted in Western societies, marriage is still perceived as a sacred union in more conservative cultures, especially in Asia. 6. Comparison of Points The increasing emphasis given by society on the economic perspectives in marriage contributes to couples delaying marriage and opting to cohabitate. The article validated this concept learned in the modules. According to the lecture notes, “from an economic perspective, because women have been more dependent on marriage for economic stability, they have had to be more selective in their partners”. This aspect of being more selective prolongs women’s preferences to tie the knot. This was confirmed by Qu when one of the findings she revealed in her article stated that “the proportion of the never married population aged 25-29 years increased from 27 per cent to 67 per cent for men, and from 13 per cent to 53 per cent for women. This latter trend partly reflects the fact that people are marrying later in life” (Qu, 2003, 36). 7. Conclusion The concepts of love, sex, cohabitation and marriage have evolved through time. Diverse factors have contributed to changes in these practices further making a great impact on emerging trends in the future. The article written by Qu attested to the fact that the practice of cohabitation has evolved from being a deviant practice to a more acceptable prelude to marriage. As contemporary generation perceives love and marriage to be closely linked to economic perspectives, among others, one could expect the present decreasing trend in marriage to continue. Works Cited Hill, Gerald N. & Hill, Kathleen T. Definition of Cohabitation. 2005. Web. 28 February 2010. < http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/cohabitation> Qu, Lixia. “Expectations of marriage among cohabiting couples.” Australian Institute of Family Studies: Family Matters, No. 64 (2003): 36 – 39. Print. Therborn, Goran. Between sex and power: family in the world, 1900-2000. Routledge. 2004. Print. Read More