Do Marriage Role Expectations Cause Disputes In the Family - Dissertation Example

About forty or so years ago, author Bernard (1972) described that marriage represents two varying perspectives – the husband’s and the wife’s. He goes on to discuss that husbands and wives have varying subjective interpretations of their marriage which then often leads to gender issues in their personal relationship within and outside their marriage (Bernard, 1972). In the years which followed Bernard’s declaration, changes in the expectations of marriage have become apparent. And many couples have now considered cohabiting or living together first and also having children out of wedlock.

Bernard (1972) also points out that in order for marriages to be successful, there is a need to evaluate the varying perspectives of men and women about marriage. This same assessment must also apply to cohabiting couples. Whether or not unmarried couples would stay with each other is often influenced by how the couple view their relationship (Waller and Mclanahan, 2005). Gender roles represent expectations which portray how men and women must act, think, and feel. Various theories have been utilized to establish plausible explanations to these roles.

Firstly, the Evolutionary Psychology Theory of Gender discusses that varying roles in reproduction puts various pressures on males and females, pressures which formulated gender roles, including that of the male being the more competitive person, and the women being the nurturers (Doosie, Fischer, and Rojahn, 1999). Secondly, the Social Role Theory of Gender expresses that gender roles are formulated through psychological gender variances which are supported by the social functions of men and women.

Lastly, the Social Cognitive Theory of Gender expresses how the gender development of children is based on observations and imitations of gender roles (Boon, et.al., n.d). In effect, gender roles are based on perceptions which are already apparent among children from a very young age. In evaluating gender roles, it is important to note that different family types may have varying gender roles, including: the traditional home-maker/breadwinner type, the mixed types, and the egalitarian types (Duddleston, et.al., 1999).

The traditional households include husbands who work, and with their wives running the households; the mixed type are those where the wife’s activities are “less absorbing than the husband’s, and therefore, she takes on more of the household tasks and looks after the children” (Boon, et.al., n.d., p. 3). The egalitarian type families are those families with both the husband and the wife equally sharing in housework and where the responsibility for looking after the children is shared equally between the partners.

Based on the types of families which exist, gender roles within the partnership often emerge. In the current setting where women are now known to pursue careers, these gender roles are not as easy to define. These gender roles however seem to impact significantly on the success of marriages, with expectations of partners being brought ahead of time to the relationship. For those adhering to the same perceptions of their roles in the marriage, disputes in the marriage may not arise as much. However for those who have differing role expectations going into the marriage, disputes may be a later issue.

Marriage expectations also seem to be based on romantic notions of marriage with romantic ideals of happy and blissful marriages being challenged by the realities of married life (Coontz, 2007). These expectations are often based on naive ideals of marriage and of being in a relationship. What is lost to these individuals is the fact that it would not always be