Listening as the Most Used Communication Skill - Essay Example

Running Head: Listening…. Topic: Listening Skills Order#: 325346 Topic: Listening Skills Introduction: Frankly speaking, whether listening is an art or science, I do no know. Silent listening is a great communication skill! “Silence is the sweetest sound on Earth,” said Mr. Boris Pasternak, the famous Russian, Nobel-prize winning author. The individual who is communicating must have sympathy for the one with whom he is communicating. When I see two girl friends talking over the cell phone for hours together, I greatly admire their communication and listening skills. Are you a speaker or listener? If you fall in the second category, the chances of your success in all walks of life are better. I am unable to support this with research data, but it is my firm conviction. The countenance of silent persons looks better, than the parted lips of those individuals who are ever ready to announce something on any topic, any time, in any situation. Listeners are respected everywhere; glib takers get selective reception! Though listening is a great skill, especially for the public relations people, this is one of the neglected segments of the communication skills. Formal training courses are available and diplomas are awarded for reading, writing and speaking—but not for listening! You see workshops and conferences arranged for all types of communication skills, except listening! More about listening: One can be forced to write, read or speak. But one can’t be forced to listen. Listening is a mind function, though we suppose that it is primary job of two ears. Research results have proved that listening skills suffer with age. “Ralph G. Nichols, long-time professor of rhetoric at the University of Minnesota (now retired), says in his book Are You Listening? --that "if we define the good listener as one giving full attention to the speaker, first-grade children are the best listeners of all." (Listening...) Let me give a simple, real-life example, how bad listening can create (un) pleasant situations. I have recently joined a Non-governmental Organization and posted at the Public Relations Department. There are many part-timers who do honorary assignments for NGOs after their office/business hours. On the third day of my joining, a lady attached to the NGO, who looked after the “Women Empower Department,” telephoned to me. She called me, and enquired if I am the man who has been posted at the Public Relations Department. On getting the affirmative reply, she asked my introduction, name to be precise, and I said, “My name is Mallya.” I do no know whether she heard it properly or not, but she immediately began to reel off lots of information. She spoke non-stop for about ten minutes, not bothering to ask, whether I had followed what she said. I admired her breath-control! In fact, I couldn’t follow anything and I was convinced that the lady did not believe in comma, full stop, question marks and interjections. She spoke with the speed of a hurricane, I wished to make earnest plea to her to reduce the speed of delivery, but she was like a fast bowler in cricket, and speed was her only criterion! “Is it fine? Will you do it within the next two hours and send a fax to me?” she asked. “What fine? What fax?” I was compelled to ask. “I think, you haven’t followed my instructions. You are new to this office, I understand. It will take some time for you to familiarize with the issues. I will repeat my instructions ….before that let me have a glass of water. Pease hold the line!” I wished to congratulate her for her gracious decision of to drink water. Her tongue must have been a parched piece of desert! Listening to her speed of delivery I was getting thirsty…then what about the actual performer?” The sound of her picking up the receiver was audible and I hastened to request her to reduce the speed of her delivery, and at the same time admired her communication skills. This admiration was counter-productive. Greatly encouraged, I thought she repeated the instructions. Earlier she had taken ten minutes, this time it took just eight minutes, by my watch! She asked my name again! I said, “Mallya!” She grumbled something which again was not audible to me; I mean her style of language and communication! She was about to keep the receiver down, I shouted at the top of my voice, “Please Madam!” “What is it? Malaya?” she asked. I did not bother about the spell-check of my name and instead, pleaded with her, “Madam, can you send the instructions in writing through some special messenger? …. I have recently joined this organization and your instructions seem to be important!” “Special messenger! You are lucky. My husband is here …he is also part of this NGO …well, well…. I will send it in writing and you will get the paper within an hour! From what she said, I could make out three words. Husband, NGO and paper! I sincerely hoped I have achieved my objective! More of it, when her husband arrives, I thought! Within those two hours she telephoned thrice to confirm the arrival of her husband. Fourth time, she was lucky….he had just arrived and in fact he picked up the receiver! After the talk, “Who is Malaria here?” he asked! Some of the other colleagues interjected. “Malaria! Definitely none in this department!” “How’s that possible? My wife told me that he has joined the Pubic Relations Department just three days back. She spoke to him in my presence from the office! I volunteered to be Malaria temporarily, and took the paper from him. He immediately picked up the phone to talk to his wife. “You said Malaria? You remember I accepted your version of the name under protest! Speak to this respectable gentleman!” ………In the evening the lady arrived at the Office. She profusely apologized to me for having ‘spread’ Malaria! You told me something like that….Why didn’t you correct me when I said your name wrong…I spoke to you at least on three occasions today!” “I agree you spoke to me for ten minutes each time. But only if you were gracious enough to donate to me ten seconds in between the conversation or at the end of the talk, I would have availed the opportunity to correct the name…but madam, even assuming that the parents are the enemies of the child, will some one name it by the disease Malaria?......If disease is the only option, aren’t there better, modern diseases like ‘blood pressure,’ ‘hypertension,’ etc.? I greatly admire your communication skills, the speed of delivery I mean, but be considerate to reduce the speed, till such time, I get familiar with your vocabulary?” The problem with the lady was that she was a bad listener and did not care, what she communicated would reach the listener properly. Conclusion: What you communicate is no doubt important; but how you communicate, what you communicate is more important. Also, one needs to be a good listener, to tender appropriate replies. In the age of cell phones, listening and communicating skills need to be proper and to the point. Speak slowly and speak to the point, because at the other end there is a listener, who doesn’t wish to get confused. References: Listening-Our Most Used Communication Skill: Article by Dick Lee and Delmar Hatesohl – Retrieved on October 8, 2009 Read More