The Importance of Body Language and Gesture in the Counselling Exchange - Essay Example

Body language and counselling The importance of body language and gesture in the Counselling exchange Introduction Counselling is a scientific process of assistance extended by an expert in an individual situation to a needy person. It is personal and dynamic relationship that exists between two individuals, a counsellor and a counselee in order to deal with the problem of the later with mutual considerations for each other. The aim of counselling is to draw out a plan in order to help the counselee understand what he can do, what he should do and how he should do, and to strengthen his best qualities towards a rational solution of the problem. Counselling has gained the status of a profession. It is an artistic science and a scientific art. It uses the most sophisticated technical tools to explore the deep depths of an individual’s personality. Guidance and counselling are similar in nature. Both are continuous. The term guidance we use in a much wider sense while counselling often used to specific purposes. Counselling is the centre of all guidance programs. Counselling is more technical in nature and it guides the guidance process. The data obtained in the counselling process is often used in guidance process. Body language on the other hand is the peculiar responses of our body to certain situations. All forms of human communication are not uses verbal languages. Body language often makes use of facial expressions. It is a mean of communication using body movements and gestures instead of verbal language or other communication. Body language and counselling 2 Many people send and receive non verbal signals all the time. For example, while playing cricket, a batsman’s thoughts about a difficult bowler will always come out as his gestures and body languages. When the batsman deceived by a particular ball, he often make gestures and the bowler can easily identify the thoughts of the batsman and he can attack him consistently with such balls to get him out. Thus body language or gestures are often the results of the thoughts of the person regarding a particular situation. The counsellor at the time of counselling observes the body language of the counselee along with his responses to the questions. An experienced counsellor can learn more from the body language and gestures of the counselee than his verbal responses. While making conclusion the counsellor will consider all such behaviours of the counselee to assess the problem correctly. Importance of Body language in Counselling “What people say could often be very different from what theyre thinking or feeling. Its very easy to say something untrue or insincere, so we can never rely on words alone. Fortunately, theres a proven way to accurately decode peoples thoughts, emotions or mood - and thats by reading their body language. People may lie, but their body silently and unconsciously speaks the truth. Having the right knowledge in body language allows you to uncover what your friends, co-workers, spouse, customers or anyone else, may be hiding from you. You might even understand other peoples thoughts or feelings better than they do! Lets face it. Even if you trust someone with Body language and counselling 3 your life, youll never have peace of mind unless you know exactly what theyre feeling or thinking inside” (Kevin Hogan) I know a person who was brought to a psychoanalyst depression treatment. This patient up to around 18 years, behave like a normal person and suddenly one day went in to his shell. Though the parents tried to find out the reason, he didn’t tell anything to his parents. He has lost his interest in studies though he was a smart student before. The doctor, after two sessions with him couldn’t diagnose the cause of his mental disorder. In the third session the doctor asked him particularly about his friends and college mates. Suddenly the body language of the patient has changed. The doctor has clearly witnessed his discomforts while explaining about his friends. Finally the doctor succeeded in identifying the root cause of the problem. It was due to a failed love affair. Thus body language and gestures are important in a counselling session. “Communication is very essential in Counseling. The counselor should remember that everything they do creates an impression. Thus they should be aware of their posture, facial expressions, eye contact, hand gestures, dress etc. Between 60-80% of our message is communicated through our body Language and only 7-10% is attributable to the actual words of a conversation. Body Language is the unspoken communication that goes on in every face-to-face encounter with another human being. It informs us the true feelings towards us and how well our words are being received by others”. (Mrs. Reena, 2005) The counselor must be well aware of the importance of body language in counseling and he/ she should be a better analyst of the body Body language and counselling 4 language. As most of the analysis is done based on the body language rather than verbal communications, the counselor must ensure that nothing gone unobserved as far as the counselee’s gestures are concerned. Every human being has some secrets to hide and such things will be revealed only through the body language and gestures. For example a girl who falls in love with a boy will often reveal his intensions through the body language only. She will definitely try to express her love through her gesture rather than verbal communication at first. Only after receiving a positive gesture from the boy, the girl will mostly reveal her love in words. “Usually body language occurs unconsciously. Yet the body language we use, decides to a large extent the quality of our communication. Body language is used especially to express feelings. Face is the most expressive part of the body and so the counselor should always be aware of their facial expressions. If the counselor is anxious for some reason then his/her facial expression may lead to appear unapproachable, serious, or disinterested. In such situations the counselor can break this misrepresentation by making a conscious effort to smile. Counselor’s smile is one of the strongest tools, which can make the patient feel relaxed and comfortable. It will help the patient to appear warm, open, friendly, and confident. Sometimes the counselors may face situations like big crowd waiting before their room and one patient asking numerous questions. Such situations can make them feel irritated but a good counselor should always keep his/her face cool, calm and smiling because the patients are sensitive to these issues” (Mrs. Reena, 2005) Body language and counselling 5 The body language of the counsellor is also important in a counselling session. If the counselee gets a negative signal from the counsellor, he/she will never reveal anything to the counsellor. The counselee must feel free in the company of the counsellor. The attitude of the counsellor must always be persuading in order to bring out the hidden personality traits or secrets of the counselee. The counsellor needs to know the exact problems of the counselee in order to suggest solutions for the counselee’s problems. Eye contact is an important body language. Consistent eye contact often reflect the confidence level while taking eyes off reveals the lack of confidence. Lack of eye contact often creates a negative feeling. It is often said that a culprit will never look into the eyes of a police officer confidently if he really committed the crime. The individuals with anxiety disorders are often fail to make eye contact without discomfort. As per Mrs. Reena, (Education Department, Aravind Eye Hospital, Madurai, India) Tips for good counseling are given below • Be relaxed and attentive. Always lean forward while talking to the patients that show our interest towards them. • Keep your facial expressions relaxed and friendly. • When standing, maintain a balance to our stance. • Move purposefully; it shows confidence• Use your hands above the waist. Use both hands and make large gestures. • Keeping the palms up is a positive gesture. • Smile when appropriate; look pleasant and genuine, this shows the warmth and openness of the counselor • Always turn the face towards the patient nodding head Body language and counselling 6 vertically Avoid . . . • Gestures like crossing the legs, swinging foot and tapping fingers reveals that the counselor is impatient and not interested. • Avoid shifting eyes and head quickly during conversation when the patient asks a question. • Avoid hair twirling, this shows that the counselor is incompetent and uncertain. • Don’t place the hands in front of the mouth or rub the arm or leg, this shows that the counselor is in anxiety. • Avoid talking too loud or too low • When talking to the patient does not look down or frown the face, this shows that the counselor is defensive and untrustworthy. • Avoid cleaning glasses, biting nails, rubbing eyes and noses. • Do not look down or to the side. Look directly at the person with a sense of confidence but not overbearing or threatening in nature (Mrs. Reena, 2005) Importance of body language in other areas of life In criminal investigations also the police officers use the gestures and body languages of the criminal while interrogation to identify the truth. Most of the criminals will try as much as to hide the truth. But an experienced police officer can sense the body language differences while questioning the suspect. The discomforts shown by the suspect, to some particular questions, is mostly because of the suspect’s awareness about the fact. Recently the criminal investigation bureau (CBI) of India has made use of the body language responses to find out the truth of a 16 year old murder case. The case was about the murder of a catholic nun. Three persons, two priests and a nun were among the suspects. The 16 year old case actually gave up by the CBI, because Body language and counselling 7 of lack of evidences though it was proved that the case was clearly a murder. Because of immense political pressure the CBI forced to reinvestigate the case and finally they arrested the prime suspects, the two priests and the nun. They have conducted brain mapping and Narco analysis test for the suspects and got some clues about their involvement in the case. Finally the CBI team recreated the scene of crime using a dummy in the presence of the suspects. Though the suspects tried maximum to overcome their emotions, finally the suspected nun has lost her control over her emotions and confessed the crime before CBI. So body gestures and language have an important role in criminal investigations as well. For a teacher the body language of the student often reveals the learning level. The bright students will demonstrate a positive body language while the dull students often reveal their poor level of learning through some discomforts and facial gesture. Thus the teacher can explain the topic further in simple words to make the average and dull students more aware of the topic. An interviewer often makes use of the body languages of the interviewee to assess his level of knowledge. The interviewer will assess how confidently the interviewee responds to difficult questions. The body language of the interviewee will reflect his confidence level also. In some case even if the interviewee’s answers are wrong, the interviewer will consider the confidence level of the responses. It doesn’t mean that a wrong answer with a confident language will always ensure success. But Body language and counselling 8 still the interviewer will consider the level of confidence in responding along with other factors. Dumb persons often make uses of body languages to communicate with others. But the main difference between the body languages of a dumb person and others lies in the control of expressions. The body language of a dumb person is often controlled by the conscious mind while that of others often controlled by unconscious mind. “Your own body language signals can also influence what other people may think or feel about you. If you do it right, you will be liked and trusted. But if you send the wrong signals (even if youre unaware of it) - your business, career, relationships, and even self-esteem may suffer. For example, if you have a habit of touching your nose, people could perceive that as a sign of deception. You might simply have that habit even if youre telling the truth, but people cant tell the difference. They are unconsciously interpreting your gesture as untrustworthy and judging you based on your actions.” (Kevin Hogan) Most of the body language gestures are not deliberate. In fact, controlling of body language is a difficult task because of its relationship with unconscious mind. In fact most of the gestures are the contributions of the unconscious mind. The conscious mind always tries to block the emotions and thereby try to avoid the inner feeling through facial expressions or other type of gestures while unconscious mind always try to reveal whatever the feelings one have about a topic. This peculiar behaviour is made use of brain mapping and Narco analysis method of interrogations. Body language and counselling 9 Body Language and Sales Expert, Kevin Hogan is of the opinion that by reading body language and using the right gestures, youll be able to: “Save a lot of time by dealing only with the people you like or trust, Become a human lie detector, Find and date with someone who has the qualities you like, Boost your career and relationships, Multiply your sales, Boost your self-confidence, Make a dazzling first impression, Becoming a master communicator, Ace the job interview, Avoid the costly hassles of hiring the wrong people, Read peoples minds and emotions, Establish authority, liking, trust or respect, Become an outstanding public speaker” (Kevin Hogan, 2008) Conclusion Guidance and counseling though Body language and counseling are interconnected. A counselor can assess a person mostly through his body languages and gestures rather than verbal communication. Body language and gestures are often controlled by unconscious mind. In daily life situations body language technique is applied in many areas such as criminal investigation, interviewing, student learning, public speaking, sales and marketing, etc. Understanding of self body language and other’s body language will help a person immensely while facing unfamiliar situations. In summary, our face, eyes, hands (gestures), and posture express what is going on inside our mind. They give clues to others as to whether the words we say are consistent with what we are really feeling. Awareness of our body language can allow Body language and counselling 10 us to send a consistent message. Smiling, making eye contact, using open gestures, and using good posture can bring up our level of self-confidence. Thus it is very important for a counselor to improve their body language (Mrs. Reena, 2005) Body language and counselling 11 References 1. Kevin Hogan, 2008, Why Its Critical to Know What the Body is Saying, Retrieved on January, 28, 2009, 2. Mrs. Reena, March 2005, Body Language in Patient Counseling, Retrieved on January, 28, 2009, 3. Read More