Interpersonal Communication - Coursework Example

Interpersonal communication involves very few participants, the interactants are in close physical proximity, many sensory channels are used and the feedback is immediate. Human beings react differently with different people and also differently with the same people at different times. Communication takes place even when one does not consciously attempt to communicate. This in other words is the body language. Body language is the most ancient form of communication. Body language and gesture is how one communicates without the use of language. Body language and emotions are linked together. It is largely controlled by the sub-conscious mind and small gestures can reveal the true feelings. Facial expressions, eye behavior, gestures and posture express emotions, feelings and attitudes, which sometimes even words cannot. Body language is extensively used in everyday life and has a central effect on the situation. This paper will discuss the impact that body language as a tool for interpersonal communication has in counseling and work settings. Albert Mehrabian determined that when taking in what someone is saying, 7% is attributable to verbal communication, 38% to tone of voice and 55% to facial expression and body language (Marketing, 2006). He observed that the way people use their body language is crucial in communication of information. Gabbot & Hogg (2000) assert that underlying the evaluation of any human exchange is a complex language of behaviors, which communicate meaning and provide a message on which evaluations are based. This language is non-verbal and has great importance in every interpersonal relationship. Non-verbal communication invariably and involuntarily takes place between two people when they face each other. Gabbot & Hogg classify non-verbal communication into four broad categories – proxemics (use of personal space and distance), kinesics (body postures and movements), oculesics (eye contact, gaze and movement), and vocalics (vocal tone and intonation). All these forms of non-verbal communication convey meanings which need to be interpreted during an exchange. Body language is a crucial communication tool, yet few people are well-versed in it. It has a significant impact on people’s perception even before we speak. It generates physical and emotional responses to people and situations in life. According to Ray Birdswhistell, professor of research in anthropology at Temple University and author of numerous books on body language, 65 to 90 percent of every conversation is interpreted through body language (cited by Warfield). Human beings by nature react more to what they think the other person meant than to what they hear. If someone appreciates in words with a relaxed smile, we would believe him but if the same words were said with a frown, we would frown back. People listen to the body language than to words. It is important that a person’s body language match what he says. Work settings and body language The worlds most charismatic business professionals have great body language -- a commanding presence that reflects confidence, competence, and charisma (BWO, 2005). Leaders need to have an air of confidence. A string leader would convey the feeling that he would always be in control of the situation, no matter what adversities. Even if he is unable to provide an immediate solution, the confidence that he instills in others through his body language is sufficient. People have strange habits that they exhibit during conversations. Fidgeting gives the impression of being unsure and nervousness speaks of being unprepared. Tapping the fingers on the table or playing with the pen also serves no purpose. Keeping hands in the pocket shows they are uninterested, uncommitted, and nervous. It is important to pay attention to what the body is saying. In work settings organizations should videotape presentations to enable the managers to understand their own body language. An executive once informed that he and his team had the event under control and had learned valuable lessons from the delay. His body language communicated lack of confidence and control. The words should match what the body language speaks. The marketing departments now recognize that personal skills are as essential as the technical or business attributes. Hence people should be trained to interpret and use body language to make assignments more effective. The marketing people need this to understand the customers’ body language which is known to reveal more than spoken words. Two different marketing people representing two different organizations may offer the same product with identical features to a particular client but what could make a difference are the right body language, the eye contact, and the right use of the five senses (Marketing). To be an effective sales person, one needs to be an effective listener and an effective communicator. Active listening is a process, which forces the seller to listen. Active listening is more than merely hearing or listening and it can be either verbal or non-verbal. He must possess the capability to understand the body language of others and use his own. According to Jossey-Bass (1982), making an eye contact is of utmost importance. Maintaining facial expression makes the client feel comfortable and less nervous. Having an attentive posture and intermittently nodding at what the client conveys either through verbal or non-verbal communication, is also essential. Reflective listening and organizing the person’s thoughts helps the client to take a decision. Two-way communication should always include nonverbal actions, gestures, and body language. Counseling and body language Warfield (2001) cites a few gestures and their possible meanings, which would reveal the importance of body language in counseling. If a person clenches hands, the higher the hands go, the more frustrated the person is. Crossed arms and legs denote a defensive or protective attitude; people often rub their eyes while lying. A woman would rub the eyes lightly and look at the ceiling while telling a big lie whereas a man would rub it vigorously and look at the floor. When people suspect they will be caught telling a lie, they tend to scratch their back five times. When a person listens with hands on the cheek and thumb under the chin, it conveys the message that while he listens intently to you, he has apprehensions or doubts. Women nod their head even while listening while men nod only in agreement. Body language in counseling has great importance because people may be from different cultures and background. Verbal communication may be a problem and this is where body language and gesture scores. Six main types of facial expression common to all cultures are - happiness expressed through round eyes, smiles, raised cheeks, disgust in the form of wrinkled nose, lowered eyelids and eyebrow and raised upper lip, fear is usually found around eyes, open mouth, anger at lower eyebrow and intense stare, surprise expressed through raised eyebrows and open mouth and sadness can be visible around the eyes and the mouth. A gesture like touch goes a long way in healing as was revealed by psychologist, Sidney Jarad (Meade, n.d.). Those who were touched for 15 minutes thrice a day gained weight 47% faster and could leave hospital six days earlier. In the case of counseling exchange, gestures convey love and affection, of which the advisee is most in need of. Gesture interpretation helps in counseling exchange to understand the behavior, feelings or emotions of the advisee. Gestures are clusters of signals received from various parts of the body. There is a large variation across cultures in how people respond to problems and situations. The significant cultural differences could arise due to ethnicity, race country, gender, education, and socio-economic status. Some ethnic groups and languages use gestures more than the words they use. Culture specific gestures are often used as replacement for words. At the same time, certain gestures correspond to particular emotions, regardless of the cultural background. Body language is independent of culture, but there are some differences depending on local customs. Gestures also depend upon psychological factors. Personality too has a striking effect upon the quality, quantity, and variety of gestures used (Abrantes). At times, gestures may be voluntary, done with a specific purpose or to confuse the counselor. This induces the release of the corresponding emotion. Hence, it becomes important for a counselor to be well aware of them. For the right communication, there must be two-way exchange. Communication is a system comprising four parts – sender, receiver, signal and environment (Abrantes, n.d.). When advising, teaching or explaining, the counselor is the sender, but he becomes the receiver when listening, observing, or approving. Since the signal is the link between the counselor and the client, it is very important that the counselor use the right signals. Therefore, the counselor must be aware of the impact of his person (empathy, sympathy), and the impact of his messages (novelty, strangeness). If people use the same kind of gestures, they feel close to each other. Such similarities may be unconscious but they feel related to each other. Being able to observe and extract information is the success of the counselor. Information is what makes the difference. No two clients are alike or can ever be same; no two situations are same nor are their problems. Hence, the counselor cannot standardize any therapy programs, body language, gesture, or means of communication. Body language is usually involuntary. How one carries herself, whether she glides, strides, or stomps reveals who she is and how she is experiencing her environment (OB 321). Touching is the most powerful gesture that communicates beyond words. Through the skin we take in a variety of stimuli. A variety of emotions can be communicated through touching. Many people do give out body signals that they do not want to be touched. Eye contact is the next important gesture and avoiding eye contact could denote fear or guilt. Eye contact communicates understanding and acceptance. Body posture during communication signals the acceptance or rejection of the environment. Non-word things like uh, ah also carry meaning. Our body gives out continuous stream of message to others. Thus, it is evident that body language is important in any field to cope with clients from diverse cultural backgrounds. Through body language, two-way exchange is easier. Communication is the essence of body language and gestures facilitate communication. Understanding the unsaid through eye contact or through the language of the body, can help the one avoid mistakes in judgement. It helps to understand the feelings, emotions and personality of the person in general and particularly at that point of time. The way a person sits, smiles and gestures can make difference between success and failure in his or her profession. This is the language, which is written nowhere but understood by all. Body language and gestures form an integral part of our daily life. References: Abrantes R (n.d.), The Silent Language, retrieved 06 Dec 2006 from BWO (2005), Business Week Online, Actions Do Speak Louder Than Words; Of all the bad habits and nervous traits that can ruin a speakers image and presentation, four cardinal sins stand out. British Council Journals Database. Thomson Gale. 6 Dec. 2006 Gabbot M & Hogg G (2000), European Journal of Marketing, Volume 34 Number 3/4 2000 pp. 384-398 Jossey-Bass (1982), Carnegie Melon, RA Resource Room, retrieved 06 Dec 2006 from Marketing (2006), "Training: The personal touch." : 37. British Council Journals Database. Thomson Gale. 6 Dec. 2006 Meade (n.d.), Non-verbal communication, retrieved 06 Dec 2006 from OB 321 (n.d.), Verbal and Nonverbal Communication, retrieved 06 Dec 2006 from Warfield A (2001), "Do You Speak Body Language?(nonverbal communication for customer service)(Brief Article)." Training & Development 55.4 (April 2001): 60. British Council Journals Database. Thomson Gale. 06 Dec 2006 Read More