The Importance of Interpersonal Communication - Essay Example

Full The Importance of Interpersonal Communication Interpersonal communication is very important because it is a human nature that requires people to communicate with others as a necessity. Sometimes, such interactions even occur even when people are not aware because interpersonal communication is not only limited to verbal communication but also includes expressing one’s self through non-verbal means like facial expressions, actions and even silence. However, although the process happens almost every minute in a person’s life, there are so many things or ways a message is expressed that one does not notice all at once until it is pointed out. This makes the process difficult and complicated no matter how simple it appears to someone who is looking at a situation. Many conflicts arise during communications and the resolution or its becoming worse all depend on how the players act and react during the process. With the simplicity of communication that usually brings people in various complicated situations, many scholars are getting interested to the study of communication and propose concepts about the subject matter, supplement the information with suggestions on understanding and improving verbal and non-verbal communication to improve relationships. For instance, one of the foci of studies is the communication between husband and wife, which is very relevant to today’s world because of the seemingly dying image of marriages which are even more magnified with the news of celebrities marrying today and getting divorced tomorrow. However, saving marriages is not just the only reason for the intensive researches performed and being performed for further studies but also looks into other relationships like employers to their employees, businessmen to their customers, doctors to patients and the list goes on. The point is, communication does not just affect the rich, famous or a chosen few but largely impacts all ages regardless of sex and status and the effect could either be damaging or constructive and no one would like the former. Instead, everyone would like the constructive effect of communication that is why studies are given priority on communication to find what seems to be a secret only a few are able to find. With the rise in the number of researches, people are coming to a better understanding of the process and indeed, knowledge could become a powerful tool to a person if it is used wisely. A lot of people are now encouraged to work further on their communication skills and are trying their best to purposefully make the process a good experience not only to themselves but also to other people. However, not all seem to be knowledgeable about communication studies or some could sometimes forget all about it especially when they are met with difficult situations. Nevertheless, for a knowing person, how he should react in such a situation would also prove his wisdom and attitude if he understands the information received from the aforementioned researches. It is said that interpersonal communication is inescapable because people meet people everyday and there are messages sent to each other whether the participants are aware of it or not. As mentioned earlier, communication does not only come verbally but also non-verbally so that one cannot say that since he did not say anything to another person, he did not communicate anything. Rather, a man who avoids speaking with other people is already communicating something which could mean to an individual that that person is pre-occupied or has better things to do other than talk with the people around or it could also mean he simply does not like to talk to them with no valid reason. As a student, I can prove this to be true with my daily encounters with other students and my professors. The communication actually comes in many forms and most of them are unsolicited and not really the ones I desire to have. For instance, when I am asked to answer a question in class, I usually hesitate not just because I do not know the answer because sometimes, even if I know the subject matter pretty much and understand the concept being discussed, the hesitation comes to me when I am not sure if my answer is correct or not and the manner I express myself also comes to me as an issue. However, I have to dance to the music being played so despite what is going on in mind, I need to stand and deliver. This shows that interpersonal communication is inescapable. Another encounter I had that I remember very much is the time I just went out for a walk without plans of meeting acquaintances but to just let the weight of the day be lifted as I walk. This happened last year before the end of the semester when the demands of school and the pressure of having to finish all the requirements and study for the final exams was taking me to the limit. I walked for almost an hour, stopping by to watch people attending to their cares and smiling on lovers who pass by or strangers who give me a smile and a nod. Walking relaxes me a lot and being alone makes me think more clearly, plan better and let the pressure evaporate in the healthiest way I know. Learning about interpersonal communication, I found out that such manner that I thought was my way of isolating myself not to speak with anybody, somehow brought a message to other people watching me. When a person tries to escape communicating with other people, the very act itself tells something and that is an information that particularly opened my eyes to a more detailed observation of myself and other people. When I went out that evening so quietly as I did, I thought I since I did not say a word to my companions, I did not communicate anything to them. Now, I realized what stronger message I could have expressed to them with my action. Surely, I might have clearly conveyed that I wanted to be alone and not be bothered with whatever they have to tell me because I have issues myself which I wanted to face and so I just wanted to be by myself. However, I could only think and imagine whatever other messages they understood with what I did and this brings me to the thought of the problem usually encountered in such a circumstance. The problem with this fact is that, an individual can be misinterpreted and non-verbal communication is usually the source of misunderstandings because sometimes even unintended actions could be easily taken to mean something. It is sad but it is also a fact that happens to many people especially those who are not able to effectively communicate themselves verbally. In my case, I might have been misunderstood to be a snob or a loner if my companions were not familiar with me. Thankfully, I lived with them for years and they somehow know my moods and understand what I am going through so that they respect me whenever I have the need to be alone. Other people may not concern me too much but learning about communication just cannot stop me from wondering what the people I met during that evening would have thought of me. Was I wandering like I was lost? Did I look like I had the world on my shoulders? Were my smiles hypocritical or did they appear to be genuine? These questions now run through my mind as I consider what I could have possibly relayed to the people I met as I walked alone in the street. The world is small and is getting smaller by the minute with babies born every second, around the world. If people a century ago could have been allotted a few square meters to occupy on this earth, today, that area might have been divided by ten or even more to accommodate one person, and that is how the world is getting smaller with the population speedily growing. At such a circumstance it is becoming more inevitable that a person cannot escape to have to communicate with other people. an individual may just meet another person on the street and think they just passed each other by but, when the situation is carefully considered, there is a message that have crossed the other person’s mind whether it was seriously considered or was just like a reckless observation. Another concept of communication is that it is complicated. As mentioned earlier, the process may seem very simple but studies are now showing that communication is complicated that is why a lot of people are having problems with it. The complications actually come in forms that most people do not consider to think about and just occurs within a short time frame, at the back of their minds that the process is not noticeable. For instance, when a student and a professor are talking about a requirement and the student begins to ask a lot of questions that appears to be very simple, there are more to the process that occur than just the asking and answering of questions. Subconsciously, the professor might be considering who he thinks he is, not just his status as a professor but his general concept of himself. In addition, he is also considering who the student is, not just as a student but his opinions about his abilities and capabilities and what he thinks the student thinks of him. On the other hand, the student is thinking similarly as he goes on asking questions. He is wondering what the professor thinks about him and also considers who he is in his opinion as well as who the professor is in his perceptions. In the process, the thoughts that cross the minds of the people involved could be expressed through their words and actions. For instance, the student has a high regard of the instructor’s abilities and appreciates her patience so that he does not mind how much questions he asks and how much time he is taking from the professor. The many questions might mean to the student how much he believes in the professor, on his abilities to give an answer to every question he poses. I remember a conversation I had with my mother a few back which is brought to mind with this lesson. She was asking me favor that I could not do at that time because I was very busy with my requirements in school and was in need of every minute to complete them and study my lessons at the same time. My mother went emotional and said I just did not understand her and I do not care about her anymore so that her little favors do not matter to me any longer. My mother’s request was pretty simple and easy but during my younger and carefree years, I did not think much of the importance of doing my mother the little favors she asked of me. Having been taught to respect my parents, I did not talk back but I quietly sneaked out to my room and locked myself. During dinner, the air between me and my mother was quite dry and she did not speak to me until the following morning when she cannot help but send me to school with a hug. Recalling this event, I remember thinking to myself how petty the request of my mother was for her to need to disturb my hectic schedule. I thought I also have my problems and needed the time to solve them so that I cannot spare a minute to her whims. It is true that during that time, I wondered about what my mother would have thought of me. Do I look like I have nothing to do but to attend to little requests my mother has? Does she think that because I am her child I am obligated to follow all her instructions even if my own needs are not met? Now, when I consider my mother’s words, I could only assume that she might have gone through a rough day as she was not really the immature type who puts burdens on her children. She might have considered herself overworked, taking care of the household chores before and after going to work and that she deserved a little treat by asking a favor from me. She might have thought of herself as my mother who deserved my respect and obedience that is why she was very confident that I would gladly do some of the household chores but to her disappointment. Maybe she thought that I am her child so I should respect and obey her so that when I did not do her request, she started being emotional and accused be of not loving her anymore, not caring about her and so on. Probably, the reason why she finally talked to me in the morning with her usual energy and love could have been affected by what she thought of me. Maybe she thought I was only a child and that I did not understand well the emotional crisis she was going through nor did I know about it so that she finally realized that she was the one \who was supposed to understand and adjust. The situation might seem to be a very simple circumstance when one looks into it and may seem funny however, there are more things that occur through the process than what is observed through the eyes and this is what makes interpersonal communication complicated. However, no matter how the process could be difficult to analyze and understand; every difficulty could be resolved when the participants try to work things out. One party may be able to resolve the communication problem however, both parties working together would even be better. In the situation I mentioned earlier, my mother who was the more matured character resolved the problem and understood my immaturities and my ignorance of what she was going through. Thirdly, interpersonal communication is contextual. This means that there are conversations that may be presented and/or understood in a number of contexts. In the case of my mother becoming emotional during our conversation, she was communicating to me in a psychological as well as relational context. If it was my father who would have been home at that time and was asked the favor, the manner of my mother’s asking the request would have been different and her words would have been different, too. Maybe, even the request she would have asked might have been different and this is because of the nature of communication where it is contextual. Should the situation have happened in a different place like the school for example, my mother would have not been as free as she was in expressing her emotions through her words in our house. This means that the manner she would have talked to me would have been entirely different and this angle in a conversation also needs careful considerations to understand why a person acts and talks in the manner s/he does. Looking more closely on the relational context of communication, obviously, an individual deals with various people in various ways. Taking this class, I learned to observe how communication goes on in different situations. For example, when I am with friends, I feel relaxed and tell them about anything that interests us like what could be a good place to spend the weekend. Such a subject matter is very general in its nature so we do not have any reservations in discussing it although sometimes we get serious and discuss our lessons instead of just trivial things. However, I do not discuss personal matters with them like I do with my best friend who I share almost all of my secrets. My best friend is my confidant and I think he looks at me at the same level so that we feel comfortable in sharing our secrets with each other without fearing that we might be talked about behind our backs. On another note, the way I speak with my professors is far different than how I speak with my friends. While speaking with my friends is extremely informal with words used that could be offensive to parents or professors being okay with us, speaking to my professors makes me look a lot somber with the tone of voice and choice of words I use. With my friends, I could laugh out loud without being so intimidated with what they might think of me but in front of my professors, I have to act in a professional manner. Not only are my tone of voice and choice of words carefully taken into consideration but my facial expressions as well as my actions are also watched. My relationship with my professor is very different with that f my friends so that communication changes with the group I deal with. Whatever issues there might be in communications, it is helpful to know about the researches and studies done on the subject because it somehow gives a lot of helpful information that could really improve relationships. One who may not have been guided and trained well in communicating himself could get a lot of help from the lessons learned in class which definitely could help a lot in making a person better not only in communication but as a human being in general. Read More