Active listening in counseling - Essay Example

Active Listening in Counseling Active listening encompasses purpose of listening during counseling, when interacting with people. It is listening to others views without distraction/ thinking about any other things. It defines the most prearranged/ structured way of listening and responding to others paying complete attention on the speaker. The behaviors and body language of the speaker is a matter of great concern. In the present article active listening is discussed in terms of counseling with its benefits and barriers. Introduction Active listening techniques are essential for facilitating the development of any relationship. In a clinical relationship, active listening is vital if the counselor is to effectively investigate and challenge the client. It is one of the primary ways that we are able to learn the client's story. Active listening implies incredible understanding towards the client's verbal and non-verbal messages. It involves "being with" the client, both physically and psychologically, in order to communicate empathy (Egan, 1990). In the active -listening process, the counselor uses both verbal and non-verbal cues and signals to recognize and identify the client's core messages and cognitive patterns. The counselor continually asks the question, "What is it that the client wants me to understand" the tasks takes persistence and concentration. It is imperative that counselor must be aware of possible cultural biases. If the counselor's cultural filters are strong there is a greater likelihood of biased and distorted understanding. It is manifested that book learning can distort perception. It is important to keep academic theories in the background and the client in the foreground. It is therefore vital that this active listening must be reflective also for perfect counseling and psychotherapy (Fisher, D). Active listening encompass- Empathy is a wish of the listener and efforts taken to understand what the speaker is trying to explain. It is beyond any theoretical aspects. This empathetic listener has the potential to get inside the other's thoughts, feelings and perception (Fisher, D). The client must gain the confidence that the counselor is providing the feeling of verbal and nonverbal messages such as "I follow you," "I'm with you" or "I understand." It is therefore of great concern as empathy is the listener's effort to hear the other person profoundly, correctly, and non-judgmentally. An active listening sees that a listener is really trying to understand the meanings the client is explaining or expressing (Fisher). It is difficult to attain the state of complete empathy as there is a strong propensity to counsel, notify, concur, or disagree from our own point of view. Acceptance- is related to empathy, as it formulates respect for a person for simply being a person. It should not bear any kind of conditions. This ensures that the listener should circumvent expression of conformity or divergence about what the other person says. This approach persuades the client to be less defensive and to discover aspects of client and the circumstances that the client may otherwise keep hidden (Fisher). Congruence- is associated with ingenuousness, frankness, and genuineness an active listener represents. The congruent listener is in contact with self. A congruent listener admits to have feeling in case of anger or any kind of irritation. An active listener communicates what they feel and know, rather than trouncing behind a disguise. It is imperative to understand that honesty on the part of active listener tends to evoke candor in the speaker (Fisher). In some cases, if the listener becomes annoyed with the speaker then empathy and acceptance must be kept suspended till the things are sorted. Concreteness throws light on information as compared to fuzzy sweeping statements. It is observed that a person who has a problem will avoid painful feelings by being conceptual or uncongenial. If the client is expressing feelings in the form of expressions like "sometimes there are situations that are difficult" (which is vague and intangible), or "most people want" It becomes the responsibility of the listener to persuade and promote concreteness by asking the speaker to be more specific. For an excellent active listening, it is significant that the listener have an orientation with all the four qualities of empathy, acceptance, congruence and concreteness. The speaker must feel that listener has this orientation. The active listener must also understand how the other is experiencing the interaction and must be able to figure the responses. The listener must be prepared to diverge from the four principles if that's what the client wants. In case if the client seeks an opinion, the listener should give it, rather than avoiding the same. According to Egan (1990), the counselor must express empathy towards the client as a way to get inside another's world. As empathy is a self healing agent, it is the most potent aspects of therapy. Empathy inculcates feeling of belongingness and therefore active listening in counseling will help the counselor get in touch with the client's world. On the other hand counselor's empathy is not a skill it comes naturally it is essential that the counselor must be empathetic before empathy can be expressed. The first glance or the gesture or touch without sharing words (non- verbal) makes then client feel at home and discuss the issues of concern. The client then relies on the counselor and express without hesitation to reach to the solution to the problem(s). The expression of empathy encompasses counselor's shared understanding of the client's experiences, behaviors, and feelings. It should not be confused with sympathy as sympathy denotes agreement and empathy denotes understanding and acceptance of the person (Egan, 1990). All authorities agree that active listening and expressing empathy are affirming and highly therapeutic for the client. It is therefore called as "client centered" therapy (Fisher, D). An involved listening with understanding allows the counselor to establish a cognitive map that describes the client's experience (Luterman, 1991). It is from this map and the understanding that counselor develops for the client; counselor can begin to formulate the direction(s) of change that will assist the client throughout the treatment process. The counselor's perception of the client should be as accurate as possible. In order to be helpful, the counselor's understanding of the client must be presented to the client and the counselor must be assertive enough to act when the time is right. It is important that once the counselor has formulated an accurate understanding of the client's situation, the counselor must be able to interpret the problems stated by the client. If this is done then the client must be able to count on the counselor and will be able to stay on track by responding with silence and consideration (Egan, 1990). Moreover, the precision and awareness about the client for the counselor develops a bond of trust towards the client making him enable to march ahead. It is also imperative that counselor must give a specific and short explanation rather than narrating speeches. It is also the part of empathy that the language used must be to the level of the client and counselor must not use vague terminologies which the client is not able to understand. This enables client to generate a feeling of trust towards the counselor. According to Egan (1990) probes are verbal tactics that help the client talk about self and define the problems in terms of specific experiences, behaviors and feelings. The motives of probing is not to identify a single momentous piece of information but rather to increase understanding by making the client become more specific. With accurate probing there should be an increase in the quality of the information the client can use in making better decisions. It is important to understand that active listening can alter the behavior and maladaptive attitudes of the clients. The understanding also states that defiance is not the best response to a situation. The goal of counseling may not be a matter of going exactly where we think we should go or even reaching what we may think. One must aim to live life to the fullest in the face of the situations with which we are presented. As Luterman (1991) is of great help- 1. Should be changed to want to or not want to as in changing "I should use my new fluency modification techniques" to "I want to use my new fluency modification techniques." 2. Have to can be changed to want to or choose to as in changing "I have to stay home and not speak to people" "I choose to stay home and risk a stuttering moment". 3. Society may be changed to I, as in changing" We are unhappy with this treatment program or technique" to "I am unhappy with this approach All elements of communication, including listening, may be affected by a barrier(s) that can impede the flow of conversation between individuals. Some of these barriers include distractions, trigger words, vocabulary, and limited attention span to name a few (Warren, 1985). 1. Stereotyped Reactions: Constantly repeating a phrase like "you feel that " or "you're saying that " can annoy the client and therefore psychological treatment is imperative from the counselor's side. 2. Pretending Understanding: if the counselor does not pay attention and only pretends to be active listener and repeatedly saying "sorry, I didn't get that. What are you saying" the counselor drops the faith of the client. 3. Overreaching. Attributing meanings that are beyond the understanding of the client or giving psychological explanations and interpretations that the client thinks to be exaggerated also brings a question on active listening. 4. Under-reaching: it the counselor is missing out the feelings that client is trying to convey then counselor's response is understating. 5. Long-windedness: if the counselor is giving a very long explanation which the client is not able to understand then the efforts of active listener are all in vain. It is essential for counselor to give effective, short and simple responses. 6. Not attending the nonverbal cues of the client: if the client is not maintaining eye contacts, looking tensed or presenting a closed posture or leaning away posture the counselor must be attentive to all these gestures and non-verbal actions. As these is important part of active listening. Body language speaks half about the personality of an individual so these gestures cannot be avoided. 7. Violating the other person's expectations: if the client is asking a direct question and do expect a direct answer then the counselor must answer directly to the question rather than mincing words in order to show how strong vocabulary can be used. For e.g. if someone says: "what time is it" rather than answering the question one cannot say "You're feeling concern about the time". Conclusion Active listening and responding appropriately are two of the key skills a counselor or therapist must apply during one-to-one counseling sessions with a client. Being able to communicate effectively is an important requirement, in any type of therapeutic counseling work. Understanding the importance of these skills, and being able to apply them accordingly is the prerequisite of counseling. Through active listening counselors try to help clients to improve their quality of life, by working out their problems and issues and making positive changes. A counselor must demonstrate an interest in the client's life - their wellbeing, problems and difficulties. It is the counselor's responsibility to give their client their full, undivided, attention throughout the duration of the one-to-one counseling session. Active listening makes speaker feel worthy, appreciated and respected. When the active listener give someone all attention, the speaker responds positively by interacting on a deeper level, perhaps by disclosing personal information or by becoming more relaxed and this act of active listener is encouraging for the client and ensures open and positive communication throughout the talk. It is therefore imperative to understand that active listening not only involves just listening to the client but also taking deep interest in everything what the client is speaking and making sure that the client feels comfortable and disclose relevant information and providing support and understanding. The counselor must take body language/ non-verbal into account along with the tone, speed and pitch of voice. The counselor must face the client, maintaining eye contacts and responding by um-humming, eyebrow raising, prompts, and must focus solely on the client. This generates trust and a healthy bonding between the counselor and the client. References 1. Egan, G. (1998). The skilled helper: A problem-management approach to helping (6th edition). Pacific Grove. CA: Brooks/ Cole Publishing Co. 2. Fisher, D, Active Listening http://www.analytictech.com/mb119/reflecti.htm [Accessed on 23rd June 2009]. 3. Luterman, D. M. (1991). Counseling the communicatively disordered and their families (2nd edition). Austin, TX: Pro-Ed, chs. 1 ("Counseling by the Speech pathologists and Audiologist," pp. 1-8), 4 ("The Emotions of Communication Disorders," pp. 49-76), 8 ("Working with Families," pp. 135- 166), and 9 ("Counseling and the Field of Communication Disorders," pp 167-180). 4. Webster, E. (1966). Parent counseling by speech pathologists and ausiologists. Journal of Speech and Hearing Disorders,31, 331-345. 5. Warren, R, H. (1985). Positive listening: learning to hear what people are really saying. New York: F. Watts. ISBN 0-531-09583-5. Read More