How to Win Friends and Influence People by Carnegie - Book Report/Review Example

How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie’s book How to Win Friends & Influence People (2009) is full oflessons on leadership and human relations; obtained from examples from historical leaders. The leaders used in the book include the likes of Franklin and Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Civil War Generals, Kings from England and many other prominent persons in the world history. The lessons are, however, still relevant to today’s life and relationships. Most people are not good in public speaking, but as Carnegie analyzes, every person is a great orator when they are mad or are in a state of insanity. Different situations that people go through in life tend to define, to a large extent, how they relate with others. In most cases, low self esteem as established by Abraham Maslow is the biggest aspect of human needs that affects relations between humans. Carnegie was brought up in a poor family in Missouri farm. He schooled in the local schools and attended State Teacher’s college at Warrensburg where his first encounter with real life began. He could not afford the accommodation in town and his clothes reflected the poverty that his family was in. This made it hard for him to associate with other students in college and as such had to find a way to become influential and noticeable. That is when he took up to public speaking, which he did fail time and again. His breakthrough in public speaking came when he was eighteen years. He started to win contest after contest and became one to be looked up to by his peers. After having been able to conduct trainings on various courses that were of importance to the men and women in business, Carnegie realized that there was need to also avail knowledge to these people on how to get along with each other. When Dale published his work on How to win friends and influence people, his intention was to help people to achieve success through winning the co-operation of others (Bolduc 8). According to Dale, human beings are making use of only a small part of their physical and mental resources, and that they tend to live within limited boundaries. It is evident that there are powers, which people habitually fail to use and as a result, Carnegie decided to write his book in order to help individuals to discover, develop and profit from the dormant and unused assets. Humans are the most important resource within an organization, and this means that relations in an organisation; whether it is between management and their subordinates or employers and their employees is very important in order to have sustainable production. During the first periods of the Great Depression, most company managers would mistreat employees because of the classical management style. In most cases, they could hire and fire knowing that there were enough people to hire out there. However, trend has change and most countries have enacted laws to protect unjust firing and hiring. For example, in the US, the Congress passed the Wagner Act in 1935, giving unions and union members more rights than they had ever enjoyed (Milkovich and Boudreau 20). This formed the basics to human relations at the workplace and it is this relation that Carnegie addresses in her book. This can further be explained using the theory of “hierarchy of needs” by Abraham Maslow. The fact that human beings form the major resource that is employed by any organization means that the maximum returns must be obtained from their employment. Carnegie understood this aspect and hence the need to be able to have the best relations between humans in any set up; including the corporate organisation’s set up. This is born of the fact that at workplace, people give their best whenever they feel that their efforts are appreciated. This is a principle that Carnegie gave topmost priority in her book. For example, when a manager or a leader honestly and sincerely appreciates the efforts of those he has influence over, they get motivated and in the end their productivity increase and company goals are achieved. When company goals are achieves, the company grows and gains a competitive advantage in the market. There has never been a conclusive agreement on the issue of whether leaders are born or made. However, whatever the case, a good leader must be in a position to win the loyalty of the people he or she leads. Gaining positive influence over people as pointed out in the book involves attending to their needs. Relying on others for your success as a leader or manager always depends on the ability of building relationships with those being led and the other people in the workplace. Abraham Lincoln was a people-oriented leader and was known for his humility, empathy towards others and identification with common man (Phillips 12). Carnegie points out three ways by which people can be influenced. These ways include: honestly and sincerely, which involves appreciating people for their deeds; complementing efforts put and not criticizing, condemning or complaining, otherwise people will tend to get on the defensive; and arousing in others an eager want. She analyzes that the negative principles do not make you a clever conversationalist or a resourceful raconteur. Considerate principles remind you to consider others’ needs before you speak. They encourage you to address difficult subjects honestly and graciously. They prod you to become a kinder, humbler manager, spouse, colleague, salesperson, and parent. Ultimately, they challenge you to gain influence in others’ lives not through showmanship or manipulation but through a genuine habit of expressing greater respect, empathy, and grace. These basic guidelines support the idea of showing concern for other people in order to appeal to their needs. According to him, leadership is all about winning the support and respect of the people being led. If a leader fails to get the loyalty of his subordinates, achieving target results becomes a major task. This is because sabotage can occur easily compared to a place where one is respected. Respect, on the other hand has been proved to be one of the virtues that has to be earned. To be respected, according to Carnegie, one has to respect others as well. In his second and subsequent chapters of the book, Carnegie focuses on the ways that one can make himself or herself likeable to people. This boils down to personality traits. Some of the traits can be learned over time while others are inborn, but have to be developed through constant practice. His major ways of making others like you reflect some of the traits that every friend who is genuine posses. Being genuinely interested in others and their problems makes the other person think of you as a selfless and very thoughtful person. Smiling does not only brighten your face, but also act as an aspect that draws others to you. Being a good listener takes more than mere sitting and doing nothing. It involves showing concern and being happy whenever the chance comes knocking. Raising the self esteem of another human makes that human feel more important. It is paramount for any leader not to put down his people but instead sincerely make them feel important. In the current era that we are living in, Carnegie’s book still remains relevant especially with the development of technology that has reduced the physical contacts that people used to have in a communication. People have started to live isolated lives and communication as an art is losing its grip among the generation. Leadership on the other hand depends on the ability of an individual to influence others. Abraham Lincoln was known to be a leader who would rather leave the comfort that the Whitehouse provided and walk along with the troops talking and listening to them (Phillips 14). This to a large extent is the reason why he as a leader succeeded. This book, therefore, will provide any reader with the practical skills not just for purposes of winning people, but to also for winning customers and expanding the market for those who are in business. This book will help people improve their relationships with others and advance their abilities to influence others. This does not come on a silver platter; one has to have passion to do as well as the strength to carry on their exercise consistently. The fact that several people have been pointed out in the book allows you to identify with one that fits your situation and as such, it creates a sense of relevance. In conclusion, I will recommend this book to people from all walks of life because it is about living with others and getting the best out of them. By applying the principles, one will not only become a more compelling person with more influence in others’ lives; but also fulfill a philanthropic purpose everyday. Imagine this effect compounded over the dozens of daily interactions the digital age affords us. Imagine the effect if dozens of people throughout an organization followed suit. Winning friends and influencing people today is no small matter. On the continuum of opportunities, it is one’s greatest and most constant occasion to make sustainable progress with others. Works Cited Bolduc, Michael. Power of Motivation: How to succeed in all circumstances. Canada: Guaranteed Success Strategies, 2000. Print. Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends & Influence People. New York: Simon and Shuster, 2009. Print. Milkovich, George and John Boudreau. Human Resource Management. Homewood: Irwin Publishing IL, 1991. Print. Phillips, Donald. Lincoln on Leadership—Executive Strategies for Tough Times. NewYork: Warner Books, Inc., 1992. Print. Read More