Dale Carnegies How to Win Friends and Influence People - Book Report/Review Example

Book Review of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” Introduction Dale Carnegie’s ic book on human relations, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” was originally written and published in 1936, but its contents still ring true up to these contemporary times, more than seven decades later. The book is filled with inspiring stories which teach valuable lessons on how to be a better person so that other people will follow suit. Very useful for both personal and professional relationships, following Carnegie’s basic rules in relating to others is guaranteed to make one more positive and improve himself as well as how others view him. Reading the book is can make one very engaged because of the author’s very easy storytelling style. It is as if he is just conversing with his reader and inadvertently hands out valuable advice at the most appropriate times. It is one book that people of all ages and backgrounds will greatly appreciate because of its easily comprehensible language and very positive approach that one will not mind reading it over and over again to fully imbibe the golden nuggets of knowledge embedded throughout the book. Application to Organizational Behavior Concepts/Theories. Carnegie’s book promotes positive relationships, and applying it to organizations, positive work environments are more likely to sustain mutually beneficial relationships within the organization (Edwards et al.:443). This means that if employees know that they are treated well by their employers and employees, they will work better in their jobs to reciprocate the kindness they receive. On the other hand, if employees perceive hostility instead of friendliness from their employers and co-workers, then they can be de-motivated and not perform well in their tasks. Although the book was written a long time ago, Carnegie was already speaking of emotional intelligence. This term was not yet coined at that time. Salovey and Mayer defined emotional intelligence as the "ability to monitor ones own and others feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide ones own thinking and actions" (189). Carnegie actually gave several examples of how people need to develop this kind of intelligence in order to be successful not only in their relationships but in life in general. The principles he presented such as giving honest and sincere appreciation; become genuinely interested in others; making another person feel important; making another person happy about doing the thing you suggest, among other equally valuable advice truly foster harmony in relationships, be they personal or professional. If people in organizations all followed Carnegie’s advice, their organizations will be transformed to what Kets de Vries calls “authentizotic”. These are organizations where people find meaning, purpose and relevance in their work. It becomes a source of growth and fulfillment for them because they are motivated. They contribute much to the productivity of the organization. Authentizotic organizations are marked by harmonious relationships and happy workers who most likely follow the principles presented in Carnegie’s book. Carnegie emphasized sincerity in dealing with people. He also recommended people to smile because it makes a huge difference in improving how people treat each other. He even suggested that if one is not accustomed to smiling, then one should force himself to learn to smile. However, in the study of Wilk & Moynihan on ‘display rules’ wherein employees were expected by their supervisors to always keep a smile on their faces to project a friendly, happy-to-serve environment, emotional exhaustion sets in especially if the employees were insincere and were just ‘faking’ it. The study revealed that display rules can deplete people of emotional resources which can affect their performance in their tasks. This then discredits Carnegie’s claim that sincerity in a forced smile can develop. Over-all, applying Carnegie’s principles in the workplace is also practicing Positive Psychology (Selingman & Csikszentmihalyi:21). This is “the study of the conditions and processes that contribute to the flourishing or optimal functioning of people, groups, and institutions” (Gable & Haidt:104). It focuses in the development of people’s strengths and honing a positive disposition rather than dwelling in negativity. Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi contend that organizations that practice Positive Psychology see individuals with potentials to optimize and are destined to become masterful and efficacious. The Book’s Impact on Me Personally, I was enamored by the book. I found it light reading but with the power to influence people. I enjoyed Carnegie’s style of interspersing theories with practice. He would explain his principles in developing positive human relationships and then go on to provide several examples, mostly of people of stature. In reading their stories, I am humbled by their example. The likes of Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, John D. Rockefeller, among others rose to their ranks because they showed human kindness, sensitivity and graciousness to others. I learned that it would be easier for me to have things my way if I know how to deal with people. In becoming interested in others, making them feel important, and sincerely appreciating them for who they are and for the things they do, I make them feel good about themselves. In turn, that makes me feel good as well. It’s a pleasant human exchange that can spread like wildfire if only more people learned to reconnect with their humanity. In these contemporary times, the corporate world is mostly run by people who are driven by greed and ambition. They have learned to shun warmth and kindness because it made them look weak. They uphold an image of toughness and strength that a simple act of gentleness on their part becomes misconstrued as frailty. Carnegie urges people to return to their humanity and begin reconnecting with others again. Adding warmth to an otherwise cold world with a simple and sincere smile can have a huge difference in people’s moods. Positive acts can actually be so much more powerful than assuming a shield of toughness. Carnegie knows how people can be egocentric that we crave for attention, approval and a boost in our self-esteem. Those are actually tools one can use to influence others. The author makes it look so simple and basic, such as making others want what you offer them when in fact it is something you want them to buy in the first place. Merely being a good listener and being genuinely interested in people can open several doors of opportunity. I have also learned how to use language to influence others to do as I want. This can become very useful in business negotiations. Emphasizing to others the advantages of what they can derive from my offer is a much better approach than expressing to them how their patronage can help me. I need to focus more on others rather than myself. Conclusion I am honored to recommend this book to others because I am sure they will not regret it. It is filled with so much wisdom that they can apply to their own lives and realize how effective it is in improving their own personalities as well as their relationship to others. I know they will be amazed that the foundation of Carnegie’s principles is not a sophisticated and scientific framework but simple good manners, human kindness, a positive disposition and consideration of others’ feelings. Works Cited Carnegie, Dale, How to Win and Influence People, Pocket books. 1998. Edwards, B.D., Bell, S.T., Arthur, W. and Decuir, A.D. Relationships between Facets of Job Satisfaction and Task and Contextual Performance, Applied Psychology: An International Review, 57 (3), 2008, 441–465. Gable, S. & Haidt, J., What (and why) is positive psychology?, Review of General Psychology, 9 (2), 2005, 103-110.. Kets de Vries, Manfred, Struggling with the Demon: Essays in Individual and Organizational Irrationality. Madison, Conn: Psychosocial Press. 2000. Salovey, P. & Mayer, J.D. (1990) Emotional Intelligence. Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 9, 1990, 185-211. Seligman, M. & Csikszentmihalyi, M., Positive psychology, an introduction, American Psychologist, 55, 2000. Wilk, Steffanie L.; Moynihan, Lisa M., Display Rule "Regulators": The Relationship Between Supervisors and Worker Emotional Exhaustion. Journal of Applied Psychology, 90(5), Sep 2005, 917-927. Read More