Gender Role in Interpreting Messages - Coursework Example

Gender and Communication Introduction Communication is a very important aspect in the lives of all the people irrespective of their backgrounds. Communication is used in interaction when done verbally or nonverbally. Nonverbal methods of communication can take the form of gestures, voice tone, or eye contact. During communication, feelings, thoughts, and emotions are exchanged between the parties involved. People have different interpretations of the same messages. Gender plays a fundamental role in the way people interpret messages, and this is the reason why women and men have different understanding abilities (Deaux and Major 370). Biological and physiological differences that exist between men and women have a great impact on the way the two sexes interpret messages. Men and women do not react in the same way especially when the situation is stressful, which mostly occurs during a conflict. In addition, the size of the collosum, which is between the left and right hemisphere of the brain is different between the two sexes. Moreover, women have the abilities of using the two hemispheres at the same time, and this gives them the power to be logical while at the same time, emotional. The fact that men use one hemisphere at a time means that they cannot be logical and emotional at the same time. Although a lot of attention is given to the differences that exist between communication styles of men and women, it is of paramount importance to note that they are minute and they stem from differences in interpretations of the same messages (Dielissen 240). How Gender Influence Public and Private Communication Several stereotypes depict women as the more talkative, but studies have shown that men talk more than women do. This happens in meetings, discussions of mixed groups, and in classrooms where girls sit alongside boys. Moreover, in most talk shows, the first person to ask a question is a man, in most instances. In addition, studies have shown that men talk for long period than their female counterparts as they explain their questions. This can be attributed to the fact that, although women make the majority in talk shows, their percentage of participation is always lower than that of men. This implies that women are wrongly viewed as the most talkative while in the real sense; men talk much more (Deaux and Major 381). In most cases, women use conversations, which cannot be accomplished without establishments of connections, and relationships, based on negotiations. Communication differences starts in early years of development of majority of girls. Matching experiences and similarities are the center role on most girls’ conversations. Peers, who want to behave as the leaders of any group are criticized by other girls, from the early years of their lives. This implies that girls want to be involved in all activities that their peers are doing. All people feel happy when they are in settings that make them feel at home. This plays a fundamental role in the way people will react during a private talk. The fact that women make connections and relationships more easily means that they take control during private talk. This is because they feel much at home when they are talking to people whom they trust. Public speaking can appear as private speaking especially when the women present have connections with other speakers (Tannen 79). On the other hand, men use language as a means of attaining independence and maintaining their hierarchal status in the society. This cannot be accomplished without exhibition of skill and knowledge. This quest is achieved by taking the central role in any performance, which is accomplished through joking, storytelling and information imparting. From the early years of development, men use conversations to “get and keep attention” (Tannen, 77). This implies that men are comfortable when talking to people, whom they know less about. This is referred to as public speaking. Moreover, private speaking can be approached like public speaking especially when one is giving a report as opposed to establishing a rapport (Dielissen 245) Men hold stereotypes against women because majority in the society view women as children who should be seen and not heard. This implies that whenever a woman stands to speak, whatever she says is viewed as too much. Studies have revealed that even when men and women talk equally, members of the group will think that women had more time in talking. Moreover, men hold the stereotype that women talk more because most women converse in situations and topics, which men hate. (Tannen 89). The American society represents a family setting, which is made up of a very talkative woman and a silent man. Most women complain that their partners are always silent or they do not listen to what they say. Scholars suggest that when men come home from work, they are silent because they are tired, but even women who work, are always eager to tell their partners what happened during the day. On the other hand, when couples are out with friends, most men are the most talkative and creative, although they do not say a word when at home. Women complain a lot because they believe their male partners ignore them and value other people. This is the reason why women complain that men have everything to say to anyone else apart from them. Men are convinced that they tell their partners everything that is on their minds but women always complain that they are told nothing. This leads to quarrels, which in most cases are interrupted by the ring of the doorbell whereby the couple composes it before opening the door (Tannen 92). In most cultures, young girls find a haven from the hostile world in their relationships. A girl tells her best friend all her secrets. Even after women grow up, they tell their closest friends what they think and feel. Most men refer to their wives as the best friends but women refer to other women as their best friends because of the gossips they share. This is the main reason why most women will complain that their partners do not tell them anything because they expect to be told feelings and thoughts that the man went through in the day, as she would be told by her best friend. Men, on the other hand, feel that they do not have to share some issues such as day’s undertakings. Moreover, the man feels that he has told his woman everything that was important, which could be “anything he would tell his friends” (Tannen 80). Key Causes for Differences in How Men and Women Communicate Women differ with men on what is important and this creates a misunderstanding. Most men believe that reading the newspaper in the morning is essential, whereas women believe that, their partners should be available for some interactional talk. On the other hand, women value applying makeup in the morning, which to men is not essential. This creates a rift in the home because women feel that their men are ignoring them. A woman will tell a man what she is thinking, but when she asks the man what he is thinking, he will take a long time before answering. As a woman tells a man what she is thinking, he listens silently. This makes the woman to have a feeling of being ignored (Tannen 94). Men and women disagree over trivial issues because of the way they view and interpret the same situations. Women want an interactional talk. On the other hand, men focus on informational talk, whereby the person talking is telling issues that should be noted. Women put all their efforts in ensuring that relationships are working and they achieve this by building trusting relationships. Women, in addition, will know whom to ask for accomplishment of tasks as opposed to men, who are task oriented and they work to accomplish a certain task first. Men tend to build relationships when they are already in the project or task (Clipson, Wilson, and DuFrene 66). Women tend to look for solutions aloud, whereas men think internally until they come up with a solution. In such situations, women think that men are not caring, because their questions to the men are viewed as asking for approval of decisions. Moreover, some men will feel that, women have weaknesses of making simple decisions. Women value relationships and they try to lead through consensus. Men are more hierarchical and do not seek for approval from their partners before making decisions. Women nod their heads to show that they are listening to a conversation. Men take this for agreement to the suggestions made, only to note that the woman did not agree. When a woman is speaking to a man, the man may remain silent and show no body movements. These actions frustrate the woman because she feels that she is being ignored. Women use eye contact to ensure that the person they are conversing with is listening, but men mistake this for a challenge to their authority (Clipson, Wilson, and DuFrene 65). Women need to understand that men do not ignore their conversations. Perception of ignorance stems from the fact that men are not involved in conversations, which makes women, feel that men do not like their conversations. On the other hand, men do not want to share information that would not add value to the person they are conversing with. Ensuring that the genders understand one another would go a long way in reducing conflicts of interest between men and women. Both sexes can make adjustments that will ensure they are at par when conversing. For example, women can learn to invite themselves into a conversation as opposed to waiting for an invitation. Men should learn that women who are unaccustomed to speaking in groups should not be pushed into doing so (Tannen, 95). Analysis Although men believe that women are the most talkative, it has to be understood that, the latter take the longer periods in talking. Men and women agree that the most preferred people to speak to are women, because they are involved a lot in any conversation. On the other hand, men do not show body movements when conversing because they think internally. This makes conversations between men and women, especially when private, to be boring. Most men believe that women spend more time in conversations but this is because men do not support the topics that women engage in. This implies that most men will feel that, what a woman is saying, is boring because it is uninformative, and as a result, think that the woman has taken a long time in her talk (Pearson 167). Women want to create relationships with people whom they will tell all their gossips. This creates a rift between them and men because men view the day’s undertakings as trivial. This is the reason why a man will say that, nothing happened during the day as opposed to a woman who will tell all the day’s details, which might be the person she met at the bus stop. On the other hand, a man will not want to share such details and this result in a woman having to look for other women friends who she can share her secrets with. Men do not value their fleeting thoughts but women hold them dear. This creates rifts between the two sexes because men will not tell their thoughts and would not want to hear what the woman is thinking (Tannen 95). Conclusion Men are the most talkative, although stereotypes suggest the opposite. Men and women have different ways of analyzing and understanding the same messages, which creates the misunderstandings that exist between the two sexes. In addition, women have been viewed as the most talkative over the years but the truth is men are more talkative. This can be attributed to the fact that men want to spend their time on informative conversation as opposed to women who spend most of their time explaining the day’s happenings and their thoughts. Men view these types of conversation as nonessential and feel that women are wasting their time. This makes men to think that women are taking a long time in speech, which is not true. Although men agree that the best people to talk to are women, men want to take control of the conversation and direct it. Works cited Deaux, Kay and Major, Brenda. "Putting gender into context: An interactive model of gender-related behavior." Psychological Review, 94.3(1987): 369-389. Dielissen, Patrick, Bottema, Ben, Verdonk, Petra and Lagro-Janssen, Toine. "Attention to gender in communication skills assessment instruments in medical education: a review." Medical Education 45 (2011): 239–248. Clipson, Timothy W., Wilson, S. Ann, and DuFrene, Debbie D. "The Social Networking Arena: Battle of the Sexes." Business Communication Quarterly 75.1 (2012): 64–67. Pearson, Judy. Gender and Communication. New York: McGraw Hill College Division, 1995. Print. Tannen, Deborah. “You Just Don't Understand." Women and Men in Conversation. New York: William Morrow and Company, 1990. Print. Read More