Tough Love Parenting - Research Paper Example

?Tough Love Parenting Parenting is one of the most difficult and challenging endeavors for any parent especially when the parent has to deal with a child with discipline issues. The best methodology for parenting seems to vary with each individual. However, two distinct camps argue whether tough love parenting is actually workable. Therefore, a research on this issue is indeed important. This is a research based informative report that explores the issue of tough love parenting in the contemporary society. Whereas anybody may agree that parenting is a difficult task for any parent, not everyone would agree on the best method of parenting to be used to raise children especially the ones with behavioral problems. Tough parenting refers to the act of being aggressive and stern in acting towards behavioral problems with an aim of assisting children to be good people. Although the actions towards bad behavior may seem like an act of cruelty to the child, it is aimed at making the child realize the need to change a given behavioral attitude in preparation to be good people in the future. For example, a parent may decide to withhold all entertainment opportunities to a child until school grades are improved. In extreme cases, a parent may decide to withhold all the financial support to a drug-addicted child until the child sees the need to go to a rehabilitation or correctional facility. According to Zodkevitch, tough love parenting is indeed important and necessary. Zodkevitch argues, “Tough love action steps a take parents from chaos to functionality, but tough love requires a change from whish-washy parenting to parenting with purpose on a daily basis (Zodkevitch 102). This presents a very interesting point of argument. What is the exact cause of behavioral problems to children? Is it poor parenting or a more complex problem that lies within the family and the society? its seems logical to claim that if the problem stems from poor family or societal set up, then tough love parenting may not work at all since it does not address the specific problem. On the other hand, the children may be experiencing behavioral problems due to poor parenting. When the same parents exercise tough love, then the problem escalates rather than solving the issue. A research conducted by Demos based on parenting behavior found that “high levels of parental warmth and attachment until the age of 10, combined with strict discipline by the time they are 16, play a powerful role in reducing the likelihood that a child would go on to be a binge drinker” (Doward web). This raises a question on what is the best time to implement tough love parental approach. This is because there is still a possibility that the child may develop behavioral problems even at early age. Conversely, it is possible for a child to grow maturely without behavioral problems even without tough parental love. However, the research findings by Demos can be taken as a precursor to the most appropriate period to initiate or stop tough parental love. Based on these findings, it can be argued that continued tough parental love beyond the age of 16 may not work since other factors come into play. For instance, teens over the age of 16 may no longer see the need to be supported by the parents. However, Heineman and Pieper have a very different and perhaps a counter approach to the issue of parenting. They advocate for “smart parenting” as opposed to tough love parenting. They claim “you can enjoy a relationship that’s based on mutual respect. You don’t have to get tough-you can get smart” (Heineman and Pieper 2). However, this raises the question of what constitutes smart parenting. The two extremes may not work at all situations but it seems more logical to assume that any methodology would apply depending on the particular situation. Therefore, tough love finds profound use when cases of indiscipline have gone overboard. However, on a normal situation, smart parenting should surely prevail. The degree of behavioral problem that may warrant tough love is a continuum and therefore, profound research and investigation should be carried out in order to ascertain the point at which tough parental love can be applied. The issue of tough love parenting becomes overwhelmingly complicated when parents have to deal with children with psychological disorders such as attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD) (Sonna 136). This seems to be one of the least studied fields and therefore would need an elaborate study to ascertain the best parenting method to use in such instances. Additionally, counselors have a very important role to play when it comes to dealing with children with ADHD. The way parents and counselors integrate in order to give the best parental love to the affected children is a very sensitive issue. Use of tough love on such instances may not work especially for ADHD children who may not recognize the importance of tough love parenting. Conversely, lack of tough love could cause the situation to be far worse. Thus, a synergistic methodology of handling this issue may need to be formulated by making more profound research on these parameters. The degree of tough love that can be effective in handling children with ADHD would be of utmost importance to parents handling such children. Needless to say, tough love parenting may work effectively only if exercised within the realms of parenting expertise. Certainly, not all parents have adequate skills to handle behavioral problems (Huggins 183). For instance, parents experiencing drug and alcohol problems may not be very suitable to expedite tough love. This is because they may be bad role models to the same children they are trying to bring up in an upright way. Therefore, the study of correlation between parental discipline and effectiveness of tough love may bear very good results that may be used to advice parents in such a situation. Tough love parenting is a difficult endeavor that needs a multivariate approach. Thus, a wide approach to studying the different variables of this issue needs to be taken into consideration. Works Cited Doward, Jamie. “Tough love stops binge drinking, Demos claims”. The Guardian. 2011. Web, 22 February 2012. < http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/aug/27/tough-love-binge-drinking-demos> Heineman, Martha and Pieper, William. The Smart Love Parent: The Compassionate Alternative To Discipline. New York: Innova Publishing, 2005. Print. Huggins, Jeff. The Obligations of Reason: Exploring the Existence, Nature, Dynamics and Implications of the Natural Moral System. New York: Jeff Huggins, 2006. Print. Sonna, Linda. The Everything Parent's Guide To Children With ADD/ADHD: A Reassuring Guide To Getting The Right Diagnosis, Understanding Treatments, And Helping Your Child Focus. New York: Everything Books, 2005. Print. Zodkevitch, Ron. The Toughlove® Prescription. India: McGraw-Hill Professional, 2006. Print. Read More