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Observations about Communication Skills The teacher starts of by informing the parent of the bad news about her son rather than building up slowly. Also, the teacher has her hands folded in front of her, suggesting that she is either uncomfortable or is hiding something from the parent, Mrs. Smith. Once the teacher has detailed the problem, she suggests that both of them collectively come up with a solution to her son Timmy’s problems. Mrs. Smith immediately shifts the focus back on the teacher by suggesting that she should solve the problem since she is Timmy’s teacher. As Mrs. Smith is doing this, she has one hand on her hip like she is not really interested.
This simply backs up what came out of her mouth—she doesn’t really want to be having this conversation. This can be seen further on in the conversation when the teacher correctly states that a joint effort is needed between the two of them in order to fix Timmy’s behavioral problems. Mrs. Smith gets all defensive by saying that there are no problems at home and it must only be a problem at school. This is reinforced by the way that she crosses her arms over her front. There is no need for her to act in this way because the teacher is not looking to attack Timmy at all.
She only wants to help, but Mrs. Smith is misinterpreting it as an attack on Timmy. Mrs. Smith would do what any parent would do when they felt that their son was under attack. Mrs. Smith then attempts to deflect the focus of the conversation back to teacher by saying that she hates Timmy and is out to get her son. This technique shows that Mrs. Smith is feeling vulnerable and perhaps a little guilty for the behavior of Timmy. By shifting the focus away from Timmy and onto the teacher, Mrs. Smith is able to portray a situation where the teacher is in fact the problem.
The teacher deflects this attack, although she is a little hurt by it. This is shown when she folds her hands, again suggesting a defensive position. Both of them do not feel comfortable in the room, although they both argue their points strongly. Mrs. Smith seems to know a lot about Timmy’s performance at school even though she does not get to see it firsthand. The conversation conveniently switches to an argument about Timmy’s learning disabilities and whether or not he should be receiving special attention at school.
The teacher then concedes the point by saying that she will see what she can do for him by referring him to the gifted and talented kids program. Mrs. Smith would do well to listen to what the teacher has to say and then coming up with a response rather than immediately defending her son without listening to all of the facts. Her body language should not show that she does not want to be there because it makes it look like she does not care about her son. Mrs. Smith needs to pay more attention to what the teacher is saying rather than lashing out.
The teacher should be aware that Mrs. Smith does not want to be there through her body language. Mrs. Smith does not compromise because she places more importance on Timmy’s sports rather than picking up his grades. Furthermore, the teacher suggests that she could tutor Timmy during recess. Mrs. Smith again says that this is not possible because Timmy needs fresh air outside. She is simply looking for excuses to cover for the bad behavior of her son Timmy. Mrs. Smith then says that the teacher is not teaching Timmy right and that she is the problem.
This is the second time that Mrs. Smith makes this point, suggesting that she came into the meeting with some preconceived ideas. She would be better off by listening more to the teacher and going along with some of her recommendations. Mrs. Smith does not have any evidence for the fact that the teacher is among the worst in the 5th grade, she just has assumptions. The teacher correctly responds that all the teachers use a curriculum from the state, so she has no idea what Mrs. Smith is talking about. Mrs. Smith then defends her son and calls the teacher a liar, although she does not have any solid facts for her claims.
The whole basis on her argument is based around the poor behavior of the teacher rather than her own son Timmy. The conference ends when the teacher has enough and tells Mrs. Smith to leave, all the while making a signal that the parent is crazy. Both women did not handle the situation very well, although the teacher did marginally better.
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