Sociology of Love, Dating, Courtship, and Marriage - Essay Example

Sociology of Love, Dating, Courtship and Marriage Introduction The sociology of love was first developed in the 20th century by John lee who stipulated that there are six styles incorporated in love. These are Pragma, Mania, Agape, Eros, Storage and Ludus. The definition and application of love greatly depends on which of the six styles the love being considered falls in. For one to understand the dating, marriage and courtship scene it is important to analyze the different types of love so as to understand they key issues that arise in marriages, Courtship and dating. A good example is by examining two movies whose theme is either building of relationships or destruction of relationships as a result of love. The film “Coalition” will be used as a basis of analyzing how and why love can result in the destruction of a relationship while the film “Breaking Dawn Part 2” will be used in the paper to analyze how love can bring about the creation of relationships. I have decided to use the two movies as case examples because both movies reflect on love, but end on different points as a result of love. I have also chosen the two movies because all the six basic types of love come out clearly in both movies but with very different outcomes. In both movies, the issue of marriage, dating and courtship has also been portrayed significantly showing how the different types of love usually affect these issues and vice versa. Types of Love According to Feldman, Eros is the type of love which is passionate, erotic and romantic. It is usually characterized by someone idealizing his or her partner and feeling that they have an urge to share everything with the person whom they love. A person who feels Eros love towards someone usually avoid separation with his or her lover and when separation happens it is met with a lot of despair and agony (Feldman19). Ludus love is where one views love as a game or something that must be conquered. This type of love is characterized by various partners, lack of commitment and dependence, promiscuity and lies where ones true feelings are usually not revealed to the other person. Sexual experiences often take place with the aim of pleasure only, and one requires plenty of it. In case of separation from one's partner people who experience Ludos love usually replace their lover with no feeling whatsoever of loss. Storage love is a form of love that is affectionate and normally develops with time usually from friendship (Feldman 25). Storage love is characterized by the fact that there are low levels of excitement in the relationship. The relationship is based on mutual understanding, companionship, respect, sharing and rapport. In case of separation of someone from their lover storage love is usually characterized by feeling of loss and emptiness. Pragma is a kind of love which is normally pioneered by the mind instead of the heart. This type of love is usually characterized by the fact that it is truly undemonstrative. Someone who experience this kind of love is usually self oriented. Their reaction to criticism from whom they love is usually analytical and defensive. Mania love is usually an obsessive type of love that is highly intense. It is mainly characterized by addiction and jealousy which are normally accompanied by irrational thinking which results in the person being excessively consumed by the thought of their lover. People who experience this type of love are usually very possessive and crave for the constant affection, attention, and togetherness. Such people usually involve themselves in love games in order to be reassured of their partners love. Normally people who experience this kind of love result in panic when separation occurs. Finally, Agape is a kind of love that is usually selfless. It is characterized by more of giving than receiving. People experiencing agape love are usually patient, loyal and understanding when it comes to the people whom they love. When separated with the people whom they love, one feels a sense of emptiness and loss. When we apply these types of loves in dating, courtship and marriages we are able to understand why issues such as cheating, divorce and loneliness occur. It is by examining the six types of love that one can fully understand why relationships are created and why they are broken. It is not possible for someone to choose what kind of love they experience. It is something that happens unconsciously and one can merely try to control the type of love that they experience. Types of Love in the two Films In the two films, the six types of love are clearly illustrated and what they result in effectively portrayed. For example, in the film “Coalition”, Prime, Kalif, and Dallas claim that they have love for women. On analyzing this love for women, one arrives at the conclusion that they experience Ludus type of love because to them love is a game. Their main aim in having relationships with women is to sleep with them hence they go to great lengths to hide these facts form the women. For instance, Dallas treats women in a manner suggesting that he intends to have a long term relationship with them while the fact is after he sleeps with the women, he does not want anything to do with them. This Ludos type of love is what manly results in partners cheating on their spouses or lovers as it is in the case of Kalif and Prime. This type of love causes destructions of relationships because when a partner realizes that they are being cheated on, then they opt to end the relationship. For example, Prime’s engagement is over because of his Ludos love for Skyler and Autumn his relationship with his fiancé is destroyed. Another type of love that leads to destruction of relationships that has been portrayed in the film is Maniac love. This type of love is clearly brought out by Autumn in the film. Her obsession with Prime leads to the destruction of all relationships in the film. This shows how this type of love is dangerous since Autumn was making prime and his friends to suffer due to her jealousy. Agape type of love plays a huge role when it comes to the creation of relationship. This is clearly portrayed in the film “Breaking dawn Part 2”, where Jacobs love for Bella helps in forming of a relationship between wolves and vampires who have been arch enemies for a long time. Despite Bella being married to Edward, Jacob still loves her and agrees to help protect Bella’s daughter from other vampires who wish to harm her. This shows how agape love is powerful since it results in strong relationships being formed. This clearly shows that Agape love is selfless hence it allows the creation of relationships. Conclusion Society is exposed to issues such as divorce, hatred, murder as a result of the different types of love. On carefully analyzing these types of love then one can understand the problems in the society arise from love. For example, one is able to understand why some people end up killing the people who they love or harming those who they are being cheated on with. This is a good example of why Maniac love is dangerous since it has led to the attempted murder, assault, and murder of many people. The presence of cheating in relationships can also be attributed to Ludos type of love where people get into relationships with the aim of having sex only hence the presence of various partners. Work Cited Feldman Robert. Social Psychology: New Jersey: Prentice Hall, 2001. Print. Read More