Parents and Issue of Mate Selection - Essay Example

A study done by Dubbs and Buunks in 2010 reflected that daughters believe that parents look at their mate’s “potential” of becoming a good father and his level of income to be able to provide for their daughters. Parents regard religion to be of higher importance when selecting mates for offspring (Knox & Schacht 1994). One finds homogamy as an encouraging force derived from the parents who believe culture as a strong element to keep the family history going for ages. The studies based on homogamy have deviating views about the implications of this act.

It has also got something to do with the psychological upbringing of the males who seek for mates resembling their mothers due to the childhood attention they received from them. This discussion comes under genetic similarity theory and results in marriages within family’s from both paternal and maternal sides (Bereczkei et al 2002). Parents have feared that their daughter or son will not have a happy marriage with a choice of their own because of lack of experience. One parent even reported that their child ended up in divorce but they had told her beforehand that marriage would not be a successful one.

Parents tend to “overtly” or “indirectly” advice their children regarding the future perspective of mate selection (Knox & Schacht 1994). Hence, the decision to marry outside the set off norms is a challenge for many societies. Both men and women find it difficult to adjust to the notions of varying needs that form the basis of their selection for marriage. Men concentrate on the physical attributes whereas women are found relying on financial securities and the freedom to remain the way they have always been (Zipp 2002).

In a value-based family setup, it has been observed that parents’ opinion about the mate selection is highly regarded. In cases of “love” playing a role in mate selection, it becomes really challenging for both parents and the couple involved to make a decision based on their parents’ opinion. Parents control their children’s “dating and courtships” by monitoring them ever since they come of age. They allow their potential sons and daughters-in-law to once they have been engaged, to mingle among the family members to develop understanding of each other’s’ statuses prior to getting married (Sussman 1953).

Stress and conflict arise from negative parental “predictions” after marriage. It is noted, however, that only 13% of the parents disapprove of the choice of their sons and daughters. Parents’ opinion about mate selection must not be taken lightly because their predictions often come to be true (Knox & Schacht 1994). There is a method of projecting this disapproval in order to keep the family intact; parents must deal with the situation objectively if they disagree with their children’s choice.

Several reasons are associated with the notion of marriage and many among them are wrong, sociologically speaking. Marriages take place because of a previous broken marriage, escape from frustrations, pregnancy out of matrimony, money matters and rebellion against parents or out of pity and blackmailing from the opposite sex. This awareness regenerates