Settling the Self, Before Settling Down: Personal Aspirations and Marriage Later in Life - Essay Example

? Settling the Self, Before Settling Down: Personal Aspirations and Marriage Later in Life Problem ment Although teenage pregnancy rates continue to be high in the United States, many teenage parents, including countless adults, decide to marry later (Lindsay, 1996). This social pattern can have diverse implications. People might be marrying later because the institution of marriage has lost its relevance to modern times, due to the cohabitation practices and widespread casual sex activities among some people (Regnerus & Uecker, 2011). Or, people might be marrying later because marriage has become too important for them to do so haphazardly (Regnerus & Uecker, 2011), especially considering the expenses of having children and maintaining a middle class status at the very least. Another little explored reason, nevertheless, is that people are marrying later, not only because they want to wait for their “perfect” match or for other pessimistic/optimistic reasons, but because they want to take care of their ambitions first. In other words, they want to settle the self, before settling down with another person. This paper investigates the reasons why people marry when they are adults already, instead of marrying during their teenage years. It includes examining the realities of those already married and the demographics they belong to. This paper aims to study if personal aspirations, particularly education, economic stability, and other personal endeavors, are powerful reasons to delay marriage. It examines both the attitudes of people who married later and those who plan to marry later. The main research question is: Do people with strong personal aspirations for college and better socioeconomic status marry later? Review of Literature People who are not satisfied with their socioeconomic status tend to be married later. Ghalili et al. (2012) examined the reasons for marriage, based on a survey on twenty-one young people of Isfahan. The sampling stressed that economic readiness is critical, followed by moral readiness. They wanted to have a stable financial condition because they think that wealth is important in raising families when married. This study shows the importance of economic stability in marriage. This paper infers that if people have not yet attained their target economic goals, then they are more likely to delay marriage. de Graaf and Kalmijn (2006) studied divorced cohorts in the Netherlands. They used a national survey with information from 1,356 divorces between 1942 and 1999. They learned that people with higher social class tend to stay married. This can be related to the understanding that when people are not satisfied with their financial conditions, they tend to be unhappy in marriage. Because of this belief, some people want to be settled first because they want a better financial standing that will prepare them for married life. Fujita (2008) noted that for Japanese men, they tend to get married when they are more settled in life, meaning they have better socioeconomic status. Some women, on the contrary, marry later when they have better socioeconomic conditions (Fujita, 2008, p.16). Zhang (1995) noted that men marry later when they have poor financial conditions. They cannot marry because they fear that they cannot provide for their families. These studies show the richness of data on married couples. For several individuals, marriage is something that concerns financial stability and to attain the latter first is significant in their marriage decisions. Financial ambitions persuade people to marry later. Theobald and Farrington (2011) showed that marriage has a protective effect for men. Married people tend to be less involved in crimes, according to their review of literature. Marriage is then something desirable on a social level, although some people want socioeconomic homogamy when finding their marriage partners. When teenage marriage or pregnancy is related to poverty, some people think that it will be better to marry when their in their twenties or older. Dahl (2010) studied the connection between early marriage and poverty. He combined date from state-specific marriage, schooling, and labor laws from the censuses in 1960, 1970, and 1980. Findings showed that people who marry during their teens tend to become poor in later life by 31 percentage points (Dahl, 2010, p.711). This study correlates marrying early with poverty. Marsh and von Lockette (2011) noted that for some women, financial similarity or homogamy is an important factor in marriage. They studied racial and ethnic differences in women's marriage, household composition and class status using 1980, 1990, and 2000 IPUMS and 2008 ACS data. They learned that more black than white women pursue higher education first than marriage because they are interested in enhancing their financial conditions. They want to have either more or the same socioeconomic status. Either way, the target socioeconomic status becomes a solid driver for making marriage decisions. People tend to want to marry within the same socioeconomic circle, and this paper believes that this aspiration can delay marriage. Hou and Myles (2008) studied educational and financial homogamy in Canada and the U.S. They learned that people from the same class tend to marry within the same class. The implication is that people want to marry people who belong to the same socioeconomic circle and this can delay marriage if potential candidates are scarce. Moreover, in their study, Hou and Myles (2008) learned from their study that some women, despite their high educational attainment, make 40% less than men, and so they may be attracted to marry men with lower educational status, but with higher earnings (p.362). This study indicates that when people have strong financial ambitions, they seek for people with the same financial conditions or better. In reality, Shafer and Qian (2010) noted that as some people delay marriage, they might find it harder to find someone with the same socioeconomic class, though this is not dominant in their findings. Additional studies emphasize that financial stability is more important than marrying early for some people. Spivey (2010) examined how risk aversion influenced people’s aversion to marriage. He used information on risk preferences from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth 1979 (NLSY79) to establish how interpersonal differences in these preferences influence the time to marriage decision. Findings showed that risk aversive people married later and this is especially true more for men than women. If people assess the risks of being poor when married or because of marriage, they might be less inclined to marry. When marriage is approached through a rational choice theory, the costs and benefits are determined, before making final marriage decisions. Schneider, (2011) noted that many women, including blacks, want to marry someone who have sufficient wealth to bring into the marriage. These women cannot accept being married and being poor because of the financial responsibilities that go with raising a family. When women are faced with these problems and they want to be practical in life, this paper interprets the study that women who want a better socioeconomic standing may want to marry later because they want financial security as part of their marriage. More young people want to be financially secure first, although cultural factors can impact their marriage decisions too. Williams and Guest (2005) explored the attitudes toward marriage for the urban middle-class in Vietnam, Thailand, and the Philippines. They conducted a focus-group research design. They learned that majority of those who did not want to get married early wanted to establish themselves financially first. Their young participants wanted to have a good career over being married early. Williams and Guest (2005) learned the role of cultural and social factors in delays to marrying. When it is not accepted any more as a duty to marry someone and to marry early, some participants prefer marrying later. They want an established career first before getting married. The weakness of this study is that it did not explore personal happiness in delaying marriage, as well as when doing it earlier, or during teenage years. Educated people tend to marry later. Glenn, Uecker, and Love Jr. (2010) noted in their study that people who marry in twenties and beyond tend to be college educated, although some also did not finish college. College education served as a protective factor in wanting to get married. Dobson and Houseknecht (1998) studied the impact of educational attainment on age of marriage for black and white women. They learned that highly educated women marry later, although this is more accurate for white than black women. College-educated white women mostly married later than African American counterparts. College education might have served as stimulation for wanting to do more things “other than marriage.” College education can derail marriage when it is related to careers or businesses. Fujita (2008) attained similar findings for second baby boomers (those born from 1972 to 1974) in Japan, where the highly educated marry later than those who did not finish college. Bernardi and Martinez-Pastor (2011) wanted to understand if highly educated women can be considered as a “self-selected group” through non-visible features of commitment to the institution of marriage (p.694). Through even history modeling, they studied the impact of education on divorce across married groups in Spain and the potential bias of self-selectivity on marriage. They used the data from the Fertility, Family and Values Survey, where they got a sample of 8759 women. Findings showed that higher education is no longer strongly correlated with divorce, although highly educated women had chosen to marry later (Bernardi & Martinez-Pastor, 2011, p.702). These women prefer studying and building careers over marrying and raising families (Bernardi & Martinez-Pastor, 2011, p.702). In another study, de Graaf and Kalmijn (2006) learned that the highly educated has lower divorce risks than the low-educated married cohorts. They concluded that social class has a “reversing effect” on divorce (p.561). Mcintosh (2012) cited the findings from the U.S. nonprofit research group the Council on Contemporary Families. More educated women are getting married. The understanding from this is that more women seek to finish college first before they get married. Though these studies did not fully examine the reasons why people delayed marriage, this study infers that they do so because they have other options to improve their conditions, first, such as intellectually, socially, emotionally, and financially. Women may find higher education as empowering too, since they can finish their education without the conflicting marriage roles and responsibilities. When people do want to marry, they want to marry within the same educational levels as they have reached. Shafer and Qian (2010) believed that educational homogamy affects marriage decisions. Their main hypothesis was that “educational assortative mating varies by number of years in the marriage market, measured as years out of school, and by educational attainment” (p.665). They used the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, 1979 cohort (NLSY79) for their study. Findings showed that college-educated people married later than people who did not finish college; and educated males tend to be more selective than women as they grow older. These findings indicated that people want to marry people, who are also educated like them, probably for compatibility reasons. This study suggests the centrality of college education for many people that they would find it critical in finding their spouses. Hamplova and Le Bourdais (2008) examined Canadian 2001 census data to determine the effect of assortative mating patterns on marriage decisions. Data included 34,293 couples. They used the double-selection hypothesis, which sees “cohabitation as a trial period before marriage and predicts higher educational homogamy among married rather than unmarried couples” (Hamplova & Le Bourdais, 2008; p.867). Hamplova and Le Bourdais (2008) also employed the utilitarian theory to argue that unmarried couples tend to have higher educational homogamy. They learned that married couples tend to have educational homogamy than cohabitating ones. Li (2003) confirmed the same findings in urban China. He used a subsampling from the survey, Life Histories and Social Change in Contemporary China survey, that Donald Treiman and Andrew Walder conducted in 1996. Findings showed that educational homogamy is highest with people with the same political ideologies. Li (2003) learned gender differences, where men tend to marry down, while women marry up, in terms of educational homogamy (p.9). Educational homogamy is an important issue when considering compatability and even wealth, since college educated people tend to have more financial stability than lower-educated people. People who seek higher education often want to marry later. Some people marry later because they seek for educational homogamy or similarity in educational status. Zhang et al. (2012) asserted that women who have high educational background want to marry men who have the same education and culture as they have. They may delay marriage without finding suitable partners. Dribe and Lundh (2011) confirmed these findings. They noted that people often wait to marry the right people who share the same cultural values and education. A college education offers similar values too, which affect family and spouse values and practices. Several more studies support the link between wanting to study first for oneself and delaying marriage. Pastor (2008) studied the effect of higher educational attainment on Spanish women. Findings demonstrated: “The women who have greater professional projection, women with university degrees, have married significantly less than the rest. Making work life and family life compatible is very difficult” (Pastor, 2008, p.298). Pastor (2008) concluded that having a college degree is a higher aspiration for an increasing number of women than marriage. Before, women had marriage and family life to look forward to. With more educational and personal development options in modern life, many women are choosing their own dreams over marriage, to the point that they will delay marriage to go first for their personal aspirations. Mahay (2003) learned from her study that some single people want to enjoy their time first than marry young. They have different personal aspirations, which include higher education, more focus on their jobs, and a more active socialization process. These sources both stressed that educated people marry later because they want to launch their careers and gain wealth first. Personal enjoyment is not alien to people who do not want to settle down. Regnerus and Uecker (2011) interviewed young adults and many of them wanted to marry someday, although they cannot see themselves tied down yet. The majority think that marriage is a sacrifice that they are not willing to make. They want to sexually experiment and have happiness, although not lasting relationships yet, because they are not ready for it. The elementa of personal sexual and other factors are not fully studied yet. The knowledge gap may suggest that these hedonistic desires may be looked down upon, so they are not investigated so much in the academe. Hypothesis This paper believes that people, who prioritize their education and economic stability, as well as other personal wants, will marry or were married later than those who do not have higher education aspirations and not content with their socioeconomic status. The main hypotheses are: H1: People who finished college are more likely to marry later than those who finished their high school or lower levels of education. H2: People who want to finish college plans to marry later than others who have no plans for college. H3: People who want to improve their socioeconomic status married later. H4: People who plan to improve their socioeconomic status marry later. H5: People who are sexually active do not want to marry early. Research Design The research will be conducted to understand marriage aspirations and actualities. It will be a mixed-methods research with online survey and interview methods. The themes will help understand the deeper answers to why and how questions. Data Collection An online survey will be conducted for married and non-married people for one month. It will be limited to married college students and staff members of one university. Then, ten married women and ten married men, as well as ten single women and ten single men will be selected for an in-depth interview. The interview will help validate and give depth to the survey results. It will probe deeper into the “why” of delayed marriage decisions, with emphasis on understanding if the reasons of the “I” are enough to put marriage as a last priority. Data Analysis As for analysis, data will be analyzed using statistical analysis and identifying recurring themes. For instance, why do highly educated people marry later? How do people see marriage and having a family and how will these perceptions impact marriage decisions? It is possible that people see marriage as a significant hindrance to self-development, which is why they decided to marry later, for example. For those who plan to marry later, they might not think that marriage is not important, but something that can only happen when they have attained a fuller sense of “self.” The statistical analysis helps explain percentages and correlations. It will reveal the connection between high educational attainment and marrying later. It will also provide some information on the links between socioeconomic status/social class desires and marrying later. Furthermore, it can offer data on other personal aspirations. Some people might want to marry later because their freedom is more important than having a family. Or, they might think that the self is more important than the “we” or collective relations. For highly individualistic societies and cultures, the needs of the “I” can become more valuable than the needs of “we.” The analysis will combine social and psychological elements. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs comes to mind, as well as analyzing social patterns. The Hierarchy of Needs can reveal that self-actualizing can involve self needs first, and then social needs. Social patterns analysis can reveal trends in how people’s views on marriage and families are changing. The social pattern can signify that the youth want to be themselves first before they can raise families. In other words, they might desire the demand for self-identity. Another social pattern may be the possible higher importance placed on families and marriage. Society might see them as critical public goods that the decision to have them becomes more important than ever. Findings Findings reveal support for the hypothesis that people who finished college are more likely to marry later than those who finished their high school or lower levels of education. College education gives them an option to pursue self-development and other personal projects, which marriage can hinder. Marriage, after all, takes time, money, and effort, and with limited resources, the youth would prefer the self to the social duties (i.e. getting married and raising families) that society can expect of them. Self-actualization and self-esteem are important for these people. A college degree makes them feel that they have attained something valuable, and they want this for themselves first, before wanting to attain something for others. The study is believed to support H2: People who want to finish college plans to marry later than others who have no plans for college. If people want to finish college, they might not want to marry so early. College education requires time, energy, and money. To be successful, some people might consider delaying marriage when they have partners already to focus on their college education. Some participants might change mind though when they fall in love or get their partners pregnant. Attitudes toward marriage can be tested through these future circumstances, which can act as ethical dilemmas. Furthermore, people who are poor and do not have college plans have fewer options in the future. Marriage might seem to be the most natural next stage of their lives. In addition, if teenage sex is prevalent among the poor, then teenage pregnancy rates can be high, which can result to early marriage. Having a college education can be a protective factor for teenage pregnancy and teenage marriage. This study might show partial support for hypothesis 3 and 4. People who want to improve their socioeconomic status married later. They marry later because they want to finish college first. Then, they want to pursue their careers first and have stable work or business. They might think that they cannot do all of these activities successful when they are married, or they may struggle do so, once they are married. Others might find it impractical to marry, so they prefer cohabitation over marriage. They may not even want to have their own children first because of the expenses involved. Some women, on the contrary, might marry for the money. If they cannot finish college, they will look for rich men to marry, or at least men whom they perceive can give them a “better life.” This study can validate the fifth hypothesis. People who are sexually active do not want to marry early. They want to experiment with different partners. They do not want the sexual limitations of marriage, when they want to have multiple sexual partners. Some people might eventually want to get married, but not for a long time. They see marriage as an obstacle to their freedoms, so marriage is a delayed option or a non-option for them. Conclusions Do individual aspirations influence people to marry later? This study can prove that personal aspirations can delay marriage. When people want a college education or have college education, they want to marry later than earlier. Furthermore, other aspirations can compel them to delay marriage too. They might want to experiment sexually or they might simply have other personal endeavors, like travelling the world or volunteering for international projects. The social implications of this study are the following: 1) College education, including seriously aiming for it, can be a protective buffer against teenage marriage and pregnancy. Preparing for college life can inspire the youth, especially the poor and at-risk youth, to look forward to something positive, something empowering enough to make them more aware of safe sex, for instance. The lure of a college degree and its social, intellectual, and economic opportunities can derail the youth from doing risky sexual activities. 2) Educational and socioeconomic homogamy can delay marriage too. Social stratification is preserved when people resist marrying down. Nevertheless, this can inspire some people from lower class to finish college because this is a way of having a highly educated spouse. 3) Society might be better off when people marry later. If they have nurtured the self, they will have less regrets when married. They may feel more satisfied and happy because they are complete as individuals. When they get married, the other spouse does not literally have to become their “better” half, but an additional “equal” who would make them feel happy and fulfilled and help them build happy families. If people married later than during teenage years, they could also feel more mature, physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially, thereby improving the chances of marital satisfaction and stability. The social pattern of marrying later can have population effects, but the positive benefits cannot be discounted. If people say they want to marry later because they want to become better individuals first, it signifies high-quality marriages and families in the future. They can be better parents and spouses, since they have attained their fullest development as adults, at least in their perceptions. Moreover, the social trend of marrying late can reduce divorce, teenage pregnancies, and other related social problems. The key potential positive net effect of delayed marriages is that taking care of the self means that the individual will be more prepared to take more complex and conflicting roles and responsibilities that come with marriage and having a family. Hence, by marrying later, the “I” becomes more skilled and knowledgeable in taking care of the “us” in marriages and families. References Bernardi, F., & Martinez-Pastor, J. (2011). Female education and marriage dissolution: Is it a selection effect? European Sociological Review, 27(6), 693-707. Dahl, G.B. (2010). 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