The Causes and Effects of Addictions on Marriage - Essay Example

The Causes And Effects Of Addictions On Marriage Abstract Addictions are caused by external substances and body-generated chemicals affecting behavioral patterns. Addictions affecting marriages are causes by substances {alcohol, drugs and food} and processes {sex, compulsive gambling, compulsive shopping, and shoplifting}. Caused by heredity, thrill-seeking, improper pulse control, peer emulation and escaping negative emotions, the named substance addictions effect marriages by marital disharmony, codependent and abused spouses, damaged jobs reputations and health, and loss of savings. Causes by pornography, visiting prostitutes, extramarital affairs, early life abuse, psychiatric disorders and escaping negative emotions, the named process addictions affect marriages by loss of savings, codependent spouses, unsatisfactory marital sex and danger to jobs, reputation and health. Cures should be sought for addiction speedily if marriages are to be saved and resumed. The term ‘addiction’ previously referred only to substances such as alcohol, narcotics and nicotine. But scientific research on the human brain and its functions conducted not long ago concluded that many forms of human behavior {such as sexual behavior and gambling} could be as chemically addictive as substances (Dorsey & Jaffe http://www.helpguide.org/mental/gambling_addiction.htm) I) INTRODUCTION A marriage is the foundation of a family that is a natural social system which occurs in a diversity of forms today and represents a diversity of cultural heritages (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.23). There are 5 addictions that have effects on marriage which can be classified into two groups: Substance Addiction and Process Addiction. Substance Addiction involves the use of external substances to generate feelings of excessive well being or elation {‘high’}, whereas Process Addiction is caused by chemicals discharged into the brain (http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/Sexual-Addiction.htm) to get the feeling of ‘high.’ While there are several others in the Substance Addiction category, the ones effecting marriage are Alcohol, Drugs and Food. Similarly in the Process Addiction group, the ones effecting marriage are Sexual Addiction, Compulsive Gambling Addiction, Compulsive Shopping Addiction and Shoplifting Addiction. The above named addictions are additional burdens to married couples already facing typical problems and challenges in today’s life that is characterized by a ‘postmodern’ outlook where they cannot expect to avoid exposure to stress, loss or other traumatic experiences (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.9). The burden is exacerbated if one or both married partners have remarried {it is estimated there are 11 million remarried households in the U.S (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.400). II) SUBSTANCE ADDICTION II.1) ALCOHOL ADDICTION Drinking alcohol is not bad in itself. With the notable exemption of Islam, it is permitted by most major world religions including Christianity. But such permission and toleration comes with a key word: moderation. It is clearly mentioned in the Bible that we should “not to be addicted to too much wine” 1 Timothy 3:8 (Fowler http://www.christinyou.net/pages/addiction.html). Once alcohol usage crosses the limit of moderation and becomes a vital daily need, the person is said to have slipped into the chasm of alcohol addiction. Alcohol addiction is defined as a disease caused by imbibing excessive alcoholic beverages (Parsons http://allpsych.com/journal/alcoholism.html). II.1a) CAUSES OF ALCOHOL ADDICTION The first cause is genetic where alcohol addiction is inherited from parents or grandparents. Descendants of alcohol addicts commonly believe they can drink more than others. Such an attitude is not beneficial to pre-alcohol addicts who discover they must imbibe more and more alcohol to attain the same effect that a short period ago could be achieved by imbibing only a couple of drinks (http://www.alcoholism-symptoms.com/causes-of-alcoholism.htm). The second cause is excessive imbibing of alcohol up to a point where drinking ceases to become a choice. This lack of choice is the result of an alteration in the brain and body that turns them into physical parts of the causes of alcohol addiction which spawn unnatural thinking patterns and personality features (http://www.alcoholism-symptoms.com/causes-of-alcoholism.htm). The third cause is lack of proper impulse control. Some individuals desire to achieve the ‘good feeling’ {an activity that is controlled by their frontal brain lobe} but struggle with delayed gratification. Such individuals discover that compulsive drinking is an uncontrollable habit as they start imbibing alcohol to break free from daily problems in life but can get addicted to drinking (http://www.alcoholism-symptoms.com/causes-of-alcoholism.htm). II.1b) EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL ADDICTION ON MARRAIGE Alcohol addiction has several detrimental effects on marriage. Not only has it been identified as the No.1 cause of marriage problems in the U.S, but a survey conducted by Silverstein in 1990 found 25% of marriages in the country suffered from problems caused by alcohol addiction. Joint studies by the U.S Department of Health and Services {HHS} and Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration {SAMHSA} found that 76 million adults in the U.S have become victims of alcohol addiction in their families (Parsons http://allpsych.com/journal/alcoholism.html). The first effect is that alcohol addicts are unable to discharge their proper role in marriage because of their compulsive drinking habits that drag them into a cycle where their inability to fulfill their obligations in marriage, coupled with disapproval of their addiction, are often employed as justification to drink even more. To exacerbate matters, the addicts tend to hide their addiction by hobnobbing with other alcohol addicts. These series of activities turn into a vicious cycle that becomes very hard to stop (http://www.alcoholism-symptoms.com/causes-of-alcoholism.htm). The second effect is that the spouses of alcohol addicts become codependents, namely, they unconsciously become addicted to the alcohol addict’s unnatural behavior. It is usual for alcohol addicts to go through times when they do not drink for a short time and appear to have defeated their addiction, causing their spouses to think that the problem has been solved forever. Codependent spouses {especially wives who tend to develop distinct behavioral expectations (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.5)} go to great lengths to conceal their partners’ problem, maintain the family integrity, and outwardly appear to be the ‘perfect married couple.’ Spouses try to keep away from social interaction and inviting people to their houses so as to conceal problems brought about by their alcohol addicted partners. Codependent spouses frequently neglect their personal requirements and aspirations, instead concentrating exclusively on trying to control or cure their addicted partners. By doing so, codependent spouses unconsciously develop into ‘enablers,’ persons who unknowingly help alcohol addicts by refusing to accept or acknowledge the drinking problem exists, thereby enabling the addicts to escape problems brought about by their drinking. Enablers lie to protect the alcohol addicts and thus help them continue drinking (Parsons http://allpsych.com/journal/alcoholism.html). The third effect is related to marriages of Adult Children of Alcoholics {ACOAs}. It is estimated that the odds of ACOAs becoming alcohol addicts themselves is four times greater than children born to non-alcohol addicts. The childhood of such individuals is riddled with depression, aggression and impulsive behavior difficulties. They develop negative self-images exacerbated by perceptions of worthlessness and failure. All these drawbacks make ACOAs failures when they marry. They are unable to develop healthy relationships with their spouses. They are unable to properly discharge their responsibilities with relation to their spouses because their own alcohol addicted parents were irresponsible and did not discharge similar responsibilities. The bad experiences with their parents make ACOAs frequently develop intimacy problems. They tend to distrust others. They believe that if they love someone {like their non-alcohol addicted parents did towards their addicted spouses}, that person will hurt them later {like their alcohol-addicted parents did towards their non-alcohol addicted spouse} (Parsons http://allpsych.com/journal/alcoholism.html). The fourth effect is related to marriages involving female alcohol addicts. The Bible specifically refers to them, advising them “not to be enslaved by too much wine” Titus 2:3 (Fowler http://www.christinyou.net/pages/addiction.html). The addiction paves the way for future instability in the form of unnatural children. Children of female alcohol addicts run the great risk of being born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome {FAS} that has been identified as one of the three most widespread causes of birth deficiencies. Figures released by the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence show that nearly 5,000 children are born with acute damages due to FAS each year in the U.S, while a further 35,000 are born with milder forms of FAS. Children born with FAS are retarded with radical personality problems, phobia and studying impairments (Parsons http://allpsych.com/journal/alcoholism.html). Such children become increasingly heavy burdens on the alcohol addict as well as her husband, greatly straining their marital relationship. The fifth effect is that alcohol addicts commonly resort to battering and even rape of their spouses. It has been estimated that 75% of domestic violence in the U.S is caused by alcohol addicted parents (Parsons http://allpsych.com/journal/alcoholism.html). In almost all such cases, it is the husband who is the alcohol addict, and it is the wife who is subjected to physical battering and/or rape. The overall effect on the spouse of an alcohol addict is massively negative that greatly compromises the deep and multi-layered relationship that exists between them founded on shared history and sense of purpose as well as shared perceptions and assumptions of the world (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.1). The spouse is likely to develop feelings of strong dislike, self-pity, shunning social interaction, exhaustion and even physical and mental illness. Such spouses are forced to take on the role of both parents in the marriage, while frequently contending with financial difficulties brought about by the married partner’s job related problems and excessive amounts spent on alcohol. As a result, the non-addicted spouses are greatly burdened, making them inconsistent, demanding and neglectful of their children. The ‘Exposure to Alcoholism in the Family’ survey carried out in 1988 in the U.S found that alcohol addiction is a major reason for divorce and premature widowhood among women in the United States (Parsons http://allpsych.com/journal/alcoholism.html). II.2) DRUG ADDICTION Drug abuse entails constant and excessive usage of drugs to create feelings of happiness and blot out reality despite its well-known harmful effects. The term ‘drug abuse’ is commonly used when unlawful substances {like heroin, cocaine or marijuana} are used, or when legal substances {like prescription drugs} are misused. Drug abuse turns into drug addiction when the drug ceases to exist as a choice and turns into an essential need (Cutter, Jaffe-Gill, Segal & Segal http://www.helpguide.org/mental/drug_substance_abuse_addiction_signs_effects_treatment.htm). Drug addiction is defined as the recurring inability to avoid drug use despite prior decisions to do so (Qureshi, Al-Ghamdy & Al-Habeeb http://www.emro.who.int/Publications/Emhj/0604/13.htm). II.2a) CAUSES OF DRUG ADDICTION The first cause of drug addiction is to seek relief from mental illnesses. The National Alliance on Mental Illness reported that nearly 50% of drug addicts are burdened with mental illnesses like depression, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (Cutter et al. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/drug_substance_abuse_addiction_signs_effects_treatment.htm). The second cause is to look for thrills. Users are curious to try out a drug and judge for themselves if the reportedly ‘high’ feeling is indeed experienced (Cutter et al. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/drug_substance_abuse_addiction_signs_effects_treatment.htm). A study conducted in 1987 revealed that thrill-seeking behavior could be hereditary (Qureshi et al. http://www.emro.who.int/Publications/Emhj/0604/13.htm) The third cause is peer emulation. Users who are weak-minded or peer adulating, tend to imitate others and use the drug not because they really want to, but in order to appear ‘cool’ and ‘one of the group.’ Young married men easily become victims to peer emulation because it is the male tendency to value autonomy {like power, aggressiveness and competitiveness} (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p. 56). The last cause is to escape from emotional suffering brought about natural calamities {such as the widespread disruption of marriages and families that took place in the U.S in the wake of Hurricane Katrina in 2005 (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.10)}, as well as personal difficulties in life such as failed relationships, stress, isolation and disesteem. Although the drug user knows that the drug cannot and will not deal with the personal difficulty effectively, still the temporary relief obtained from its usage can be so alluring that the harmful effects of the drug seem insignificant (Cutter et al. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/drug_substance_abuse_addiction_signs_effects_treatment.htm). Such relief occurs when the psychoactive drug acts directly on those parts of the brain that exercise control over emotions and actions, generating positive feelings in the addict (Qureshi et al. http://www.emro.who.int/Publications/Emhj/0604/13.htm) II.2b) EFFECTS OF DRUG ADDICTION ON MARRIAGE The first effect is a serious dent in the finances of the drug addicts and their spouses. It is natural and necessary for the married to generate savings to develop a reasonable standard of living and raise a family. Married couples take a vow to love, honor and support one another throughout their lives. The money they earn is regarded as ‘family income’ (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.15). Instead, the addict splurges their hard earned savings on his or her drug addiction, thereby contributing to financial instability in the family. There are also high possibilities of addicts’ jobs being put into grave jeopardy, which is another worrying finance-related worrying factor. Given the great importance of money to survive properly in modern life, the addict’s activities become seriously alarming to his or her spouse. The second effect is alienation of the spouse. A married relationship is characterized by love and loyalty (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.4). Instead of giving love and affection to the spouse, the drug addict’s erratic behavior tends to break the close bond that exists between married couples. Drug addicts are unable to relax or have fun without imbibing drugs. They alternate between mood swings, angry tirades, incoherent speech, irritation, hysterical behavior and general change of attitude. This is accompanied by widespread neglect of responsibilities towards the spouse and the household (Cutter et al. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/drug_substance_abuse_addiction_signs_effects_treatment.htm). The third effect is endangering of reputation in the eyes of society. A married couple constitutes a family that is imbedded in society (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.23). Drug addicts frequently resort to money borrowing, selling of household articles and stealing money from others. These crimes, in addition to the crime of possessing and using drugs, could well result in arrest and incarceration, thereby bringing disgrace to the addicts and their spouses. The fourth effect is danger to physical health. Drug addiction involves long-term molecular and cellular modification. Drug addicts are in real danger of damaging physical organs like the heart, liver and lungs. Drug addiction {especially addiction to cocaine} is fast emerging internationally as a formidable conduit for the expansion of deadly infectious diseases like AIDS, hepatitis and tuberculosis (Qureshi et al. http://www.emro.who.int/Publications/Emhj/0604/13.htm). Not only are drug addicts in danger of contracting such diseases, but also the likelihood of them passing them to their spouses is great. II.3) FOOD ADDICITON Food addiction or binge eating involves uncontrolled consumption of excessive amount of food; an amount that is distinctly larger than what other people would consume during an identical period of time, and in identical circumstances (Fairburn & Wilson, 1996, p.8). This is followed by feelings of remorse, guilt and frustration for eating so much. The process continues with the addict consuming large amounts of food at any time or in any place to satisfy an ever-present craving for food (http://www.healthzine.org/Eating-disorders/binge-eating). II.3a) CAUSES OF FOOD ADDICTION The first cause of food addiction is the prolonged presence of extreme negative feelings like depression, sadness, anger and nervousness in the food addict (http://www.healthzine.org/Eating-disorders/binge-eating). Binge eating is employed as a way of reducing these negative emotions and coming to terms with stress in the same way as in alcohol or drugs (Fairburn & Wilson, 1996, p.97). Research has found that there are nearly 4 million food addicts in the U.S (http://www.healthzine.org/Eating-disorders/binge-eating). Women are more likely than men to indulge in food addiction (Fairburn & Wilson, 1996, p.147). The second cause of food addiction is greater self-consciousness, lesser body esteem and lesser self-esteem (Fairburn & Wilson, 1996, p.159). This is especially in case of girls who mature early; they are generally shorter and fatter than on-time or late-maturing females, and these differences in physical structure continue as they grow into mature women (Fairburn & Wilson, 1996, p.161). II.3b) EFFECTS OF FOOD ADDICTION ON MARRIAGE Marriages will be more effective if both partners work through their assumptions about what is possible for each of them, freely choosing that which makes sense to them (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p. 66). Overindulgence in food certainly does not make logical sense. Spouses of food addicts find it difficult to cope with the unstable behavior of their married partners characterized by negative emotions and feelings of guilt when they realize what they have done. Binge eating is always followed by increased anxiety over body weight revealed by the wish to go on diet (Fairburn & Wilson, 1996, p.61). There are real chances of the non-addicted spouses starting to feel increasing disgust towards the food addicts that could hamper their otherwise normal behavior towards them. When feelings of disgust intrude into a marriage it is nearly impossible to maintain the same level of sexual intimacy that was present before the food addiction phase. III) PROCESS ADDICTION III.1) SEX ADDICTION Sexual addiction is defined as a situation where an individual’s biologically normal sex drive becomes escalated to a point where it is so uncontrollably persistent that the individual loses full control over his or her behavior. As the individual’s mind becomes familiar with the discharge of chemicals that cause a feeling of ‘high,’ it tries to locate non-stop source of such ‘high’ from sexual stimuli. As a result, the sexual addict indulges in one or more forms of sexual addiction and becomes adept in concealing those secret activities from others (http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/Sexual-Addiction.htm). III.1a) CAUSES OF SEX ADDICTION The causes of sexual addiction can be grouped into two categories: voluntary and forced. The voluntary group includes pornography, prostitutes, live strip shows and sexual affairs. The forced category includes parental abandonment, physical and sexual abuse, and/or rape during childhood. All the causes have one common denomination: they are rooted in sin (http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/Sexual-Addiction.htm). Excessive exposure to pornography from a young age is the premier cause of sexual addiction. Individuals become more and more embroiled in a world of sex fantasy and increasingly less inclined to face possible rejection by real life sexual partners during their young days (http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/Sexual-Addiction.htm). Increased obsession with pornography leads to sexual addiction. Today, pornography is increasing at a rapid rate. In 2006, the porn industry’s revenue was $ 2.84 billion in the U.S. It is reliably learnt that as much 89% of global porn originates from the U.S. Americans spend $ 89 per second on porn (http://www.cucirca.com/2007/05/13/internet-pornography-statistics/). The second voluntary cause is visits to prostitutes; initial sporadic visits soon turn into regular trips that turn into obsession {sexual addiction}. The third voluntary cause is visiting live strip shows; like visits to prostitutes, it begins with one or two visits but soon acquires regularity as the individual’s sexual appetite is whetted and if not controlled, rapidly accelerates into obsession thereby becoming sexual addiction. The last voluntary cause is indulging in sexual affairs; the individual starts off with one partner but soon drops the person to find others with increasing obsessive frequency thereby becoming a sexual addict. The second set of causes emanates from bad experiences early in life. Individuals can be forced into sexual addiction by traumatic experiences during their childhood. Some parents abandon their children at a young age, as a result of which they are left unprotected from various evils that life imposes on them. They are highly likely to suffer physical abuse, sexual abuse and rape, vicious crimes suffered by even children in supposedly safe households at the hands of immoral relatives and friends. Victims becomes so traumatized by their horrifying and degrading experiences that they try to emulate those acts later in life in order to ‘get back’ at those who humiliated and hurt them. III.1b) EFFECTS OF SEX ADDICTION ON MARRIAGE The first effect of sexual addiction on marriage is sexual incompatibility because the sexual addict has a disproportionately higher sex drive as compared to the spouse (http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/Sexual-Addiction.htm). In a survey of adults in the U.S, it was found that 72% of porn viewers were men (http://www.cucirca.com/2007/05/13/internet-pornography-statistics/). If the sexual addict is the husband, the disproportion in sex drive expands when children are born which causes his wife’s sex drive to further drop due to the stress of looking after infants and toddlers. The sexually addicted husband is provided lesser and lesser sexual satisfaction from his wife, which makes him turn to other sources for the sexual gratification he craves (http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/Sexual-Addiction.htm). Unlike normal married persons, sexually addicts are selfish persons, obsessed with satisfying their own cravings at any cost; they do not regard or respect sexual intercourse as a beautiful gift from God to be carried out with pleasure within the boundaries of marriage. The sexual addict resorts to visiting prostitutes or embarking on extramarital sexual affairs. Such acts are highly immoral. The Bible exhorts us not to be “carried away, seduced by tempters under our desires” James 1:13 (Fowler http://www.christinyou.net/pages/addiction.html). The acts are very expensive {thereby significantly draining financial resources that could be better employed for the family}, and there are very realistic chances of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, which {like AIDS} could well be fatal to the sexual addict, his wife {when he later has sexual intercourse with her} and even to their children {if he has intercourse with his wife while she is pregnant}. The second effect of sexual addiction is that, due to its progressive quality, the sexual addict is not satisfied for long with any extramarital sexual activity. This obsession goes against the teaching of the Bible which advises us to “abstain from fleshy desires, which wage war against the soul” 1 Peter 2:11 (Fowler http://www.christinyou.net/pages/addiction.html). For example, a male porn addict starts searching for greater sexual stimulation in the form of more explicit, hardcore porn and then tries to act out the erotic images captured by his mind. As a result, he no longer looks upon his wife as a unique person who is his life partner with whom he has vowed to share not only physical satisfaction but also emotional and spiritual togetherness, but begins to treat her as an object through which he can attain sexual pleasure. After sometime, even this becomes too common and unattractive, causing him to turn to other illicit excitement avenues (http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/Sexual-Addiction.htm). Unless sexual addicts get help quickly and effectively, their marriages are bound to disintegrate into separation or divorce because they have deviated badly from morality and “have crucified the flesh with their passions and desires” The Bible Gal. 5:24 (Fowler http://www.christinyou.net/pages/addiction.html). III.2) COMPULSIVE GAMBLING ADDICTION Compulsive gambling addiction, also known as ‘ludomania’, is the strong desire to gamble ignoring its harmful negative effects or wishes to cease the activity (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_gambling). Compulsive gambling addiction is the strong desire to gamble ignoring its harmful negative effects or personal wishes to cease the activity. It is often called a ‘hidden illness’ because it is not outwardly visible. There are 2 types of compulsive gambling: action gambling and escape gambling. Research has discovered that men usually gravitate towards action gambling while women are more inclined to move towards escape gambling (Dorsey & Jaffe http://www.helpguide.org/mental/gambling_addiction.htm) III.2a) CAUSES OF COMPULSIVE GAMBLING ADDICTION The cause of action {also called pathological} gambling is biological in nature. The third revision of American handbook ‘Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders’ {DSM}, defines it as a psychiatric disorder. These gambling addicts have lesser amounts of nor epinephrine as compare to standard gamblers. Nor epinephrine is a hormone secreted when a person is subjected to stress, stimulation or excitement. The addicts indulge in gambling to bolster their under-dosage of this hormone (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_gambling). The National Gambling Impact Study Commission to Congress report in 1999 revealed that there are about 20 million pathological gambling addicts in the country (Lee, 2005, Front Matter). The cause of escape gambling is to shut out disconcerting problems and/or feelings of dysphoria such as remorse, nervousness, agitation, gloom, inadequacy and helplessness. The act of gambling is subordinate to the numbing impact of the act (Dorsey & Jaffe http://www.helpguide.org/mental/gambling_addiction.htm) III.2b) EFFECTS OF COMPULSIVE GAMBLING ADDICTION ON MARRIAGE The first effect is a drain on the finances of the compulsive gambling addicts and their spouses, which does not conform to the widely held belief that marriage partners should be ethically accountable with one another (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.200). Gambling losses more often then not wipe out all the couple’s savings (Lee, 2005, p.82) which is very critical as the average American family relies on income of both partners for economic survival (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.6). The loss of money is more in case of action gambling addicts who have a particular penchant for fast-paced games such as roulettes and slot machines where the rounds finish rapidly and there is the ever present incitement to play again (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_gambling). The second effect is that male compulsive gambling addicts more often then not develop selfishness in their marital relationship. Winnings from gambling tend to be classified as ‘mine,’ while debts incurred from gambling are not only classified as ‘ours,’ but wives are kept in the dark as to the exact amount ‘we really owe’ (Lee, 2005, p.235). The third effect is that the compulsive gambling addicts’ behavior jeopardizes the relationship with their spouses. Their addiction makes them irritable and constantly preoccupied with making money or chasing losses. When they lose they are remorseful, and tend to blame others, thereby alienating their friends and spouses (Dorsey & Jaffe http://www.helpguide.org/mental/gambling_addiction.htm). Male compulsive gambling addicts are frequently guilty of neglecting their wives; there have been instances of them indulging in compulsive gambling fully knowing their wives were in hospital delivery rooms (Lee, 2005, p.201). Frequent quarrels and allegations mar the relationship between addicts and their spouses. In addition to the mental trauma spouses suffer, they are often the targets of physical battering too. The fourth effect is that the future of addicts and their spouses are put in serious jeopardy. Addicts’ jobs are in danger, the couple could be evicted from their homes or compelled to resort to forced home sales, and their reputation in the community as well as in the eyes of their respective families is jeopardized. Heavy gambling losses often make addicts resort to illegal means to get money to repay gambling debts. Research has discovered that 60% of action gambling addicts resort to fraud and embezzlement. This could well result in arrest and imprisonment, suicidal thoughts and attempts, bankruptcy and disgrace (Dorsey & Jaffe http://www.helpguide.org/mental/gambling_addiction.htm). The fifth effect is that the spouses of compulsive gambling addicts tend to become codependent, taking great pains to hide their married partners’ problem, even going to the extent of shunning social interaction. By their actions, codependent spouses unknowingly encourage their addicted married partners to gamble more (Lee, 2005, p.6). The last effect is that wives of male compulsive gambling addicts are frequently traumatized by threats from collectors employed by loan sharks from whom their husbands have borrowed money to feed their addiction (Lee, 2005, p.105). Such collectors shrewdly target the wives of borrowers as a ploy to get their husbands to pay up quickly. III.3) COMPULSIVE SHOPPING ADDICTION Shopping in moderation is a beneficial, even therapeutic exercise that can effectively combat tension in everyday life. However, compulsive shopping addiction {medically known as Compulsive Shopping Disorder [CSD]}, is different and has two distinctive characteristics: it is an obsession with shopping for unnecessary items, and there is a lack of mental ability to resist purchasing such items. It is estimated that 8% of the U.S population, a majority of them being women, suffer from this disorder (Bhat http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2004/sep/08ga-shop.htm) III.3a) CAUSES OF COMPULSIVE SHOPPING ADDICTION The main cause is biological. CSD is scientifically classified as an Impulse Control Disorder that could affect anyone, but is more prevalent among those who suffer from regular bouts of depression. CSD provides an escape to the mind of such persons, giving them a heady feeling of power, assisting them to acquire an interest in the external world, and providing them with a sense of personal esteem that they lack (Bhat http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2004/sep/08ga-shop.htm) The second cause is prolonged bad personal experiences in case of women. A woman who experiences a vacuum in personal relationships and who is not fulfilled in intimate relationships frequently goes on wild shopping sprees as a way of exercising her prerogative and assuming charge, resulting in feelings of self-esteem and joy (Bhat http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2004/sep/08ga-shop.htm). III.3b) EFFECTS OF COMPULSIVE SHOPPING ADDICTION ON MARRIAGE The first effect is that the compulsive shopping addict wastes a lot of the family finances that could otherwise be profitably employed in achieving a high standard of living or generating savings for a good future for the married couple. The response of the non-addicted partner is bound to be steeped in anger and accusation that could lead to frequent quarrels and disharmony between the married partners. The second effect is that the spouse of the compulsive shopping addict finds it very difficult to understand and cope with the erratic behavior pattern of his or her partner. Compulsive shopping addicts alternate between extreme emotions – they feel intense excitement when they shop, but this is followed by feelings of intense guilt and remorse when they reach eventually their homes and view their unwanted purchases (Bhat http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2004/sep/08ga-shop.htm). The third effect is that the compulsive shopping addicts could take extreme steps to feed their addiction in case their married partners do not provide them money for shopping. They could steal from their spouses, or borrow money from others and raise huge financial debts (Bhat http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2004/sep/08ga-shop.htm). When these activities come to the knowledge of their spouses, there is bound to be serious disagreement and even volatile arguments. III.4) SHOPLIFTING ADDICTION Shoplifting has the dubious distinction of being the only crime that many people will agree to have committed at least one time in all their lives (Sharrock http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.shtml). It starts off as a romantic, spontaneous action but soon turns into a focus of relief from problems in life (Shulman, 2004, p.52). Women, more than men, tend to engage in shoplifting. In fact, the term ‘shoplifting’ was invented around the year 2000 to mark the difference between theft of food by poor people and the new, rapidly spreading instances of middle-class women who were stealing from departmental stores in the United States (Sharrock http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.shtml) III.4a) CAUSES OF SHOPLIFTING ADDICTION The first clause is women using it as an excuse to take their minds off personal problems or emotional stresses in life {especially losses or change in life} (Shulman, 2004, p.87). Another significant reason is women using it as an excuse to act out suppressed sexual urges which affects their natural tendency to value affiliation {like love, compassion, cooperation and nurturing (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.56)}. This fact is justified by the high rates of shoplifting in the 1960s committed by women in the United States who were single, divorcees or widows (Sharrock http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.shtml) The second cause is thrill-seeking. People become addicted to the rush of adrenaline afforded by shoplifting (Shulman, 2004, p.84). In a modern version of ‘Bonnie and Clyde,’ or a grown-up versions of children’s ‘Cops and Robbers’ games, shoplifting addicts look upon shoplifting as a romantic, exciting activity involving escaping the law by outwitting stores’ employees, security guards and surveillance cameras (Sharrock http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.shtml) The third cause is the general perception that shoplifting is a minor crime, and even if the perpetrator is caught, the punishment is negligible {maybe a fine or a warning from the judge}. The chances of getting caught are also remote because store owners in the U.S are by necessity hesitant to put stringent safeguards against shoplifting or strongly persecute shoplifting addicts because shoplifters, after all, are also customers who are vital to the stores’ sales and profits; store owners’ are afraid that safeguards and persecutions could alienate possible customers. If they sustain considerable losses from shoplifting, the stores just jack up their prices to cover such losses (Sharrock http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.shtml). The fourth cause is economic. Some shoplifting addicts do it not because they like it, but purely for financial gain in order to supplement other sources of income (Sharrock http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.shtml). It is common for such addicts to think that their addiction is a logical and sane response to life (Shulman, 2004, p.159). The fifth cause is envy. Shoplifting is the conduit for lower class people to attain quick access to high class status. Shoplifting addicts are lured by attractive things they do not possess, seduced by the promise to possess those attractive items and reminded that they do not have the financial means to buy those attractions (Sharrock http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.shtml) The sixth cause is protest. Some shoplifting addicts consider their illegal activity as an implement of disapproval in and of itself against capitalism. They engage in thefts from corporate chain supermarkets or other capitalist structures with the aim of destabilizing the capitalist economy and expressing their disapproval of the very ideas on which consumer-based society is founded. Their lofty goal is ‘redistribution of wealth’ (Sharrock http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.shtml) The last cause is to grab media attention. The best example is Hollywood actress Winona Ryder’s recently widely publicized shoplifting charges that got her a profitable advertising contract and a lucrative television show {Saturday Night Live} appearance (Sharrock http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.shtml). III.4b) EFFECTS OF SHOPLIFTING ADDICTION ON MARRIAGE The first effect is disharmony in the marriage. The illegal activities of the shoplifting addict become a constant source of accusations by the spouse and quarrels between the couple. The second effect is disgrace. There are realistic chances of the shoplifting addict being caught, arrested and even incarcerated. The shame associated with shoplifting is great (Shulman, 2004, p.78). It adversely affects the couple’s reputation in the eyes of society. If the shoplifting addict is the wife, and if the husband has a high-profile job {such as a senator} that cannot withstand besmirching of reputation, adverse publicity could well spell the end of his career, which could in turn lead to separation or divorce between the married couple. IV) CONCLUSION There is no doubt that the various addictions discussed have varying degrees of adverse effects on marriage, adding to the already existing problems caused by ongoing, interactive and mutually influencing family processes (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.19). The only way to alleviate the problem is for the addict to obtain treatment as quickly as possible. Psychological intervention has now become more accessible to people in the U.S as compared to the pre-War days (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, 101). Addicts should realize that it is not only them that need help but their spouses too are hurting and need help (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.20). It would greatly help if the addicts’ spouses take an active interest, encourages and participates in the treatment process with the addicted partners as such a response will not only act as a self-confidence booster for the addicts, but will also make them realize the reliability and value of their spouses. It would greatly help if the spouses can rope in the support of a network of friends, extended family, clergy, neighbors and employers to contribute to the recovery of the addicts (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.11). It would also prove very beneficial if the addict and his or her spouse takes refuge in religion {Prov. 13:25 of the Bible says: “the righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite” (Fowler http://www.christinyou.net/pages/addiction.html). In the modern, stress filled world of today, it is nearly impossible to find any individual without a single bad habit. Bad habits have developed into a part and parcel of life. It is my firm belief that we should not let bad habits mushroom into addictions. We have the logic, sense of responsibility and will power to do this. While understandably there is no moral ground or support from any religion for bad habits, they should be indulged in excess. Moderation is the key that should always be within our peripheral vision. In this way, bad habits are always within control, are {as in Christianity which allows consumption of alcohol sparingly} tolerated by religions, and can be, albeit improperly, used as tools to combat perceived trials and tribulations of daily life in our modern world. If, unfortunately, the bad habits do slip out of our grasp and causes us to descend into the abyss of addiction, then it is our urgent duty to obtain cure and get rid of the addictions as fast as possible before they wreck our own lives and those of our spouses. When we overcome the addiction, we should be extremely grateful that the Almighty has given us another chance to retain and enjoy the most stabilizing factor in our lives – our marriages – which have been luckily unaffected by the addiction, with our spouses standing firmly and steadfastly at our sides, fortunately allowing us to be able to continue doing what He intends us to do, namely, embark on a steady and strong married life, have children and strive towards a good future for ourselves, our families, our society and our country. Spiritual beliefs and practices represent powerful human experiences (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.11), and within a marriage, it is the adhesive that binds the couple together till ‘death do them part.’ We should always bear in mind the words from the Bible: “God shall supply all your needs – in Christ Jesus” Phil.4:19 (Fowler http://www.christinyou.net/pages/addiction.html), and strive to become the ideal American family – one where both parents are dedicated to child-rearing and remain together in life, something which is alien to the large majority of Americans today (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2007, p.2). V) REFERENCES: Bhat, U. (2004, September). Shopping, the New Addiction. Retrieved March 26, 2008, from Rediff.com Web site: http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2004/sep/08ga-shop.htm Binge Eating as a Serious Disorder. (2008). Retrieved March 26, 2008, from Healtzine.org Web site: http://www.healthzine.org/Eating-disorders/binge-eating Causes of Alcoholism. (2002). 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Retrieved March 26, 2008, from Curica Web Site: http://www.cucirca.com/2007/05/13/internet-pornography-statistics/ Lee, B. (2005). Born to Lose: Memoirs of a Compulsive Gambler. USA: Hazelden Foundation. Parsons, T. (2003, December). Alcoholism and Its Effect on the Family. In All Psych Journal. Retrieved March 26, 2008, from Allpsych.com Web site: http://allpsych.com/journal/alcoholism.html Problem Gambling. (2008, March). In Wikipedia. Retrieved March 26, 2008, from Wikipedia Web site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_gambling Qureshi N.A., Al-Ghamdy Y.S. & Al-Habeeb T.A. (2000). Drug Addiction: A General View of New Concepts & Future Challenges. In Eastern Mediterranean Health Journal. Retrieved March 26, 2008 from Emro.who.int Web site: http://www.emro.who.int/Publications/Emhj/0604/13.htm Sexual Addiction – Relations Breakdown. (2008). Retrieved March 26 2008, from Life Challenges Web site: http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/Sexual-Addiction.htm Sharrock, J. (2004). Five Finger Discounted. In Lip Magazine. Retrieved March 26, 2008, from Lipmagazine.org Web site: http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featsharrock_shopliftingp.html Shulman, T.D. (2004). Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery. USA: Infinity. Read More