Having read much about care facilities for the elderly from the press, I still subscribed to the view that the institutions were used by irresponsible families to dump their elderly. I had preconceptions of those who live in such institutions as having been betrayed by their loved ones when they needed them most (Casey 2007, p. 94). To a certain extent, the care extended to the aged within a family setting can be attributed to duty and obligation felt by their children of giving back the loving care they once received from this same people (Casey 2007, p. 94). Just like the parents had cared for them while young, children usually feel the need to return the favour once such parents are aged (Casey 2007, p. 94). This was the school of thought I prescribed to prior to meeting Harry.
I expected him to be full of regrets for having been kept off the family residence of his children and abandoned in a strange place being cared for by strange people. It almost seemed that the elderly were being handled up and excluded from social participation once they were past their productivity (Strazzari 1999, 194). According to Minichello (1992, p. 2), contemporary media has epitomized youth age as a commodity to be treasured almost to the point where old age is dreaded as being a plague.
This was my mind set before I met Harry, expecting him to concentrate on narrating the negative experience of being away from this family and being in a care facility. Another explanation to my negative perception of care facilities for the aged is perhaps the fact that most films and fiction books I have seen and or read depicting the same, captured horrific places where the helpless aged were bundled up and grossly mistreated. When I was young, I had been introduced to an uncle who came to live with us.
At first, I had thought he had come visiting for a while until after three years he had become part of my family. Despite being very young, I remember how jovial, playful, loving and very understanding the uncle had been. He became one of my best adult friends in my life until when at an age of 16, I was separated from him forever. After a series of serious and violent mental problem incidences, all of which happened in my absence since I was in a boarding school, he was committed to mental care establishment until he died two years later.
I would later learn that he had only been released to our care after being in such a facility for many years prior to joining us. I grew up to regard such establishments as a betrayal of an uncle I loved. My attitude was never helped by the fact that he died there. Not surprising therefore, I had a negative perception against committing family members to institutions instead of caring for them as family (Kane and Kane 2001, p. 249–259). My expectation was that Harry would feel as bad as I imagined my uncle to have felt for being barred from having social relations with friends and family and being isolated in institutions (Kane and Kane 2001, p.
249–259). As ACT Community Health Service points out, social isolation defines the status in which individuals have no satisfying social relationships and involvement in the community life as normal people (cited in Moore, p. 101). I would however be surprised by Harry. Harry was happier at the care facility that he could ever be at Suzanne’s residence and according to his admission, preferred to remain at the reputable and cosy establishment than to live with his daughter’s family. According to Harry, he would become a burden to the family if he lived there, stopping them from exploiting their full potential and self-development.
Harry took pride in his daughter’s achievements and was happy to know that he was not on her way to greatness (Casey 2007, p. 94). According to Harry, being able to live without being a burden to his family was of utmost importance (Casey 2007, p. 94). Harry’s advanced diabetic condition required constant and expertise care from dieting to medication.
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