How to Annoy a Husband - Assignment Example

Day 1: At the outset, cut of his “feel good” time completely (do not indulge in intercourse), this shall be done so as to stop him from getting any relief from all the annoying activities that you shall carry out during the rest of the week.

Day 2: Start off big: Invite your parents to stay with you for 3 days and tell them that they are here for 30 days, in case you would want to make it extra special, invite them as a surprise (without his consent). This might be very annoying to your husband, the reason why I’ve assigned this on the second day itself is that once he gets extremely annoyed, then after that even the most diminutive annoyances could make him sorry he was ever born.

Day 3: This is a very important day; it is within this day we would take several steps at the same time. Firstly, don’t heat his water, misplace his clothes (even better, burn his favorite shirt with the iron), and most importantly, hide the car keys (locking the keys in the car itself would be the best way to do this), blame him about being so dull and dim-witted about locking the keys inside the car (nag). This way he would be late for work. After this, watch soap operas with your mother when he gets back from work. It is imperative that he does not get to watch the TV during the first few days, if he does, it shouldn’t be the channel that he would really want to watch.

Day 4: Start accusing him of lying (ask whether you look fat or not after every change or some similar question), When he goes for work, decorate his garage with the stuff you like.

Day 5: Always ‘overanalyze’ his answers, ask questions such as “Look at that girl, would you ever want me to show that much skin?”, if he answers ‘yes’ reply “you are an inconsiderate jerk”, if ‘no’ then ask “Why not!?”. Secondly, always assume that he should read your mind.

Day 6: Go shopping for him and buy him a pink shirt with a sleeveless sweater and cream pants. Make him wear that when he goes out in public. Call some of your friends over, and while talking with them call your husband and discuss some of his shortcomings in front of your friends.

Conclusion

Day 7: Just sit back and congratulate yourself on a job well done while looking at the infuriated, aggravated, maddened, and annoyed husband.

It is imperative to follow the above-mentioned steps as per their designated process stages, only then could you achieve prosperity in completely annoying your husband. If you follow these steps diligently, no matter how calm, composed, or loving your husband is, he will definitely feel sorry he was ever born. Although it is also important to comfort him in obvious ways if you want to see him happy again.