Non-Verbal Communication and Its Types by De Vito - Essay Example

 De Vito defines non verbal communication as “communication without words” ( 117 ). Some examples of non-verbal communication that he mentions include physical gestures such as an eye brow raise, gesture, smile or frown, widen your eyes, move your chair closer to someone, wear jewelry, touch someone, and the like (117). He continues to explain the two benefits that can be expected to be achieved through non-verbal communication as ( 117 ): “First, the greater your ability to send and receive non-verbal signals, the higher your attractiveness popularity, and psychosocial well-being are likely to be. Second, the greater your non-verbal skills, the more successful you're likely to be at communicating information and influencing others.” These types of non-verbal communications have a direct relation on the human relationships that DeVito explores in his book. These relationships include friendship, romantic relationships, and family ( 186 ). The non-verbal communication skills, as well as the relationships being presented in public can easily be understood and pinpointed when time is taken to observe man like one would the animals in a zoo. My first stop during this observation tour was the most common place where man gathers in order to openly display their non-verbal communication skills and human relationships, the mall. I took my time in walking around the building in order to observe men,women, and children and how they interact with one another. What I observed was that the most common human relationship that can be found and observed in the mall is that of varying degrees of friendships. Now DeVito defines a friendship as, “an interpersonal relationship between two persons that is mutually productive and characterized by mutual positive regard” ( 187 ). Almost everyone that I observed arriving in pairs, as a group, or meeting other persons at the mall prove the interpersonal relationship of their acquaintance because of the way they react to one another. It is not uncommon to observe these pairs or groups delivering non verbal assurances of their friendships through their reactions to one another. From a warm hug, a kiss on the cheek, or even slapping one another on the shoulder all translate into non-verbal communications that prove that they consider each other unique, genuine, and irreplaceable individuals in each others lives. But that is not to say that only positive friendships exist at the mall. Once in a while, I also noted the existence of discord between the couples or group individuals. These non-verbal arguments included the raising of an eye-brow as they discuss amongst themselves. The raise of an eye-brow is normally followed by a change in the vocal pitch of the person speaking. These arguments could also include other non-verbal indicators such as shrugging of shoulders, rolling of the eyes, and sometimes, the eventual dispersing of the couple or group when one of the persons involved decides to walk away from the conversation. I also observed a family composed of a mother, father, and 2 children (boys). They were a traditional couple (DeVito, 199) who were partaking of the family amusement center at the mall. The boys were around 8 and 13 years of age and were obviously very excited to be spending the day with their parents. The older of the two boys would often jump upon his father's back who would then playfully tackle him in a standing position. Without violating the privacy of the family, I continued to observe them throughout their visit to the mall. After the fun time that they had at the amusement center, the family headed off to the nearest McDonald's fast-food restaurant for a snack. This was where I observed a new facet of family relationship, that of financial obligation and close relationship of the parental unit of the family. In this scenario, it was pretty obvious that the man was the one who spent on family outings since he was the person who took note of the orders on his mobile phone, went to the counter to pay up and then came back with the food. The parents sat together on one side of the table while the children sat across from them. Meal time was also a chance for more non-verbal communication between the family members as the kids ran off to play in the playground area before settling down to a meal. Unlike other parents who had to physically walk over to the place and lead their kids by the hand back to their table, this father simply stood at their table, whistled loudly and watched as his son's heads turned towards his direction. It took only a minute or so before the children were back at the table and sitting down to a snack with their parents. Of course no observation of human relationships will be complete if I do not include an observation of the romantic relationships that normally come to the fore around February 14. Having already done most of my observing at the local mall, I decided to move my observation for the day of hearts to the local park where Valentine's Day activities were lined up by the local community. I came to the park with the full intention of observing the Eros, Ludus, Storge, Pragma, Mania, and Agape types of love in action (192 - 195) . Of all of these types, the most prevalent on Valentine's Day seems to be the Ludus type. The park was actually witness to some big relationship break-ups that day. It was easy to spot those who were not getting along on Valentine's Day because of the sad, frowning, or morose expressions on their faces. Normally, these people who have troubled love relationships tended to sit on a park bench in a direction away from each other, and content in the uncomfortable silence that exists between them. Then there are those who are obviously engaged in a storge relationship of based upon companionship. These are the lovers who consider themselves friends first, lovers second. These are the guys who bring flowers and chocolates for their girls and then enjoy a simple moonlit walk around the park while they simply hold hands, lean on each others shoulder, sit down in a cuddling position, and sometimes, kiss quickly in public. They are the ones who are content in the love that they feel for one another and manage to convey their love through simple touch or gestures such as wiping the food stained lips of his or her partner. Each movement that they bestow upon one another conveys the love that they feel without ever uttering a word. Theirs is the epitome of non-verbal communication in a manner of speaking because they are so attuned to each other that words are not necessary in order to complete their actions or thoughts for one another. These non-verbal skills actually lead towards a growth in the relationship and individuality of the people involved because they are able to mature in their way of thought and action rather than words. I realize that there might have been a slight influence on the non-verbal actions of the people I was observing if they had caught on to the fact that I was observing them. However, Heisenberg Principle aside, I do not believe that I influenced the outcome of my observations to the extent of collating inconclusive data. After all, I did not have any direct interaction with these people who exercised their freedom of thought and action in every instance that I observed. Word Count - 1,247 Sources DeVito, Joseph. (2006). Human Communication: The Basic Course. Massachusetts: Pearson Education. Read More