Arranged Marriages in India: The Way Marriage is Viewed in the Hindu Faith - Term Paper Example

Arranged Marriages in India: The way Marriage is viewed in the Hindu Faith The institution of marriage takes a prominent role in all cultures. Over the years research on marriages across cultures show that people who are wedded tend to be more satisfied with their lives. (E.g.: White 1994, Gottman 1994) Yet, very limited research has been done on the aspect of fulfillment and satisfaction that arises from marriages across Eurasian cultures. As one moves across cultures from the West to the East there exists a continuum amid the concepts of Individualism and Collectivism. Collectivism is a yielding focus where life decisions are made taking the needs and benefits of the family, rather than the individual, into account. This paper will, therefore, try to decipher if marriages in the Hindu faith last longer due to satisfaction and at the same time contrast the level of satisfaction that arises from love marriages. In ‘traditional’ cultures such as these families select the individuals to be bonded in marriage. Since the level of marital satisfaction on its own does not give any real measure this paper will try to compare satisfaction in arranged marriages with unarranged ones. In the conservative Indian Culture marriage comes before love. It is believed by some and accepted by others that love can develop and two people can learn to live with each other. Indian marriages are based on compromise where families of the groom seek ‘chaste’ women and families of the bride seek marriage proposals with good financial promises. Contrary to widespread incredulity in the West, arranged marriages do enjoy gratification and love as both men and women have been socialized to ‘adjust’ for the good of the family. This was confirmed by the outcomes of the study‘Marriage Satisfaction and Wellness in India and the United States: A Preliminary Comparison of Arranged Marriages and Marriages of Choice’ (Jane E. Myers, JayamalaMadathil& Lynne R. Tingle, 2005) 1. This study involves the comparison of marriage contentment levels in arranged marriages in India to the level of marital bliss enjoyed by American couples that have married of their choice. The sample consisted of 45 individuals (22 couples and 1 windowed person) from the southern state of Kerala, India. Two mechanisms were chosen to quantify the results. The first one was The Characteristics of Marriage Inventory (CHARISMA). In this, 18 characteristics related to marriage are listed and participants have to first order the 6 that are most important to them and then indicate their satisfaction with each. Responses can range from extremely important to extremely unimportant. The second tool was the Wellness Evaluation of Life that depicts 17 items of wellness. Each item on the WEL is a statement to which participants respond with either a ‘strongly agree’ or ‘strongly disagree’. The results showed that participants from India scored significantly higher on spirituality, cultural identity and nutrition. The US participants scored higher on realistic beliefs and work, self-care and humor. Furthermore, an interesting finding was that on the LOVE scale of the WEL, there was no difference between the level of satisfaction in Indian and US participants. Comparisons of the CHARISMA scores shed light on the fact that although the two cultures viewed different attributes to be most and least important this did not change their contentment levels. This study also showed that even though in arranged marriages love was not a precursor for marriage at the end the couples reported the same extent of nuptial happiness. The conclusion shows that there is no support of differences in marital success or wellness. Additionally, in Indian marriages the norm is for two strangers to enter into a marital contract. In such cultures the custom is for each partner to adhere to separate roles based on what is expected from each gender. The dynamics of this relationship also suggest that communication can be difficult because no association exists between the two individuals before marriage thereby reducing. The article ‘Relationship Satisfaction among South Asian Canadians: The Role of ‘Complementary-Equality’ and Listening to Understand’ researches on this concept. (Saunia Ahmed, David W. Reid, 2008) 2This study was done to see if observance of traditional marital anticipations was related to different interpersonal styles and marital satisfaction among Indo-Pak couples living in a western country. This study included 114 participants out of whom 48 were Indians, 53 were Pakistani and 13 were Indo-Africans. Marital Satisfaction was measured using the Revised Relationship Adjustment Survey (RRAS). The RRAS measures satisfaction across a range of topics such as overall relationship satisfaction, personality issues, role responsibilities, communication, conflict resolution, financial management, leisure activities, family and friends. Listening styles was measured using the Listening Styles in Committed Relationships scale. This includes two questionnaires, whichmeasure how much one person listens to their spouse and how much their spouse is perceived as listening to them. There are also two subscales, the first measures to what extent perceives themselves as striving to understand (SLTU) ones partner and the other measures the self perception of listening to respond (SLTR). Traditional marital ideology was measured using Traditional Orientation to Marital Relationship Scale. This scale has 24 face valid items that could be used to tap into Indo-Pak traditional categories such as child rearing, provider role, gender role, extended family, decision making etc. The results of this study showed that a higher degree of traditionalism meant a lower level of marital satisfaction only for the Complementary Equality side of traditionalism. The study suggests that it is not traditional values but the expectation of lower cooperation and lower expectations of equality that actually aids marital satisfaction. The findings also showed that the more the group rated themselves as listening to understand rather than listening to respond, the greater their marital satisfaction. A work such as this one consolidates the assumption that Indian couples are content with their marriage because they assume predominantly distinct roles and do not expect their spouse to help out. Since the expectation is low there exists no conflict between the partners who each strives to balance their own duties. The way marriages function in India reflects a deep manifestation of the Hindu belief. Till recently the Hindu tradition viewed marriage as a ritual rather than a contract. Indian behavior, to a large extent is regulated by Hindu traditions. Religion plays such a crucial role in how couples behave. Research about a tradition as personal as marriage can not reveal the satisfaction one feels by simply resorting to studies that use tools, questionnaires and scientific methods to quantify human feelings. Therefore, the article ‘Arranged Marriages in India: A conversation with rural women about their Beliefs Perceptions and Feelings’ can offer first hand analyses about what the soft gender thinks of married life. (Liann N. Seiter, 2006) 3The sample includes three generations of women of three families in Chavadi in the state of Tamil Nadu. The study shows that strict gender roles were observed between males and females from a young age. The mention of ‘love marriages’ to the members who were being interviewed revealed a deeply negative light on the matter because it imitated deviant behavior.Since religion and beliefs have deemed love marriages as adverse and families of eloped lovers attract bad reputation, the study shows that most women are not attracted to the idea of romance because it is not worth it. Therefore, these women are satisfied with their own arranged marriages because their partner is the only man that they intimately relate to in their lifetime and they do not have past experiences to judge if another man can make them happier. Also, in keeping with the simplistic beliefs of Hinduism happiness and satisfaction have very different meanings for Indian women. Happiness meant protection, a close family, respectable neighbors and the fulfillment of basic needs. This mindset allows women to feel marital satisfied in marriages that contemporary American women would find unfulfilling. It was also found that modernization has a deep impact on the beliefs of arranged marriages between individuals. People inclined toward modernization were of liberal views which were generally directed against arrange marriages (Rao, Rao & Nandini 1976). The Hindu faith has divided its followers according to an age-old caste system. This caste system created five sections of society based on a person’s profession or livelihood and their family ancestry. The Brahmans for instance act as ‘popes’ between people and Gods and are the priestly class who perform sacraments. Similarly the Chandalas are considered the lowest of human beings. In some parts of India they are still considered ‘untouchables’ and live on the fringes of society. Due to this stark discord in Indian society marriages between castes were and are not only considered unacceptable but they were treated with great punishment. The study ‘Companionate marriage in India: The changing marriage system in the middle class Brahman subcaste’ touches on this issue. (Fuller, Christopher and Narasimhan, Haripriya, 2008)4. This study reveals that the Vittimas who belong to the Tamil Brahman subcaste face an evolving outlook at marriage. In this urban middle class the marriageable age has arisen, in-family marriages are not favored and the personal like-mindedness of individuals have become crucial factors. However, endogamous marriages are the only ones allowed. Furthermore, even though singles can arrange their own marriage in this subcaste they do not indulge in romaneces with the other classes because of the strong belief in the fact that all other classes are beneath them. Apart from marital success it is important to look at the length of marriages in the Hindu faith and decipher how they last longer than those in western societies. A dominant part of Indian society believes that divorce is not an option even when a relationship is abusive. Since divorce is not a choice that is available, Indian partners will go to great lengths to make a marriage survive, even if it means that they live in a loveless marriage.In many states of India a practice called ‘wattasatta’ exists whereby a man may promise the hand of his daughter in marriage to another in exchange for a female of the other household to be wed to his son. This practice means that if one marriage fails the family will pressurize the separation of the other relationship that had stemmed from the first. Indian couples will not resort to divorce to save the marriage of their siblings or close relatives. However, that is not to say that arranged marriages survive in the truer sense of the word. The study ‘I Will Speak Out: Narratives of Resistance in Contemporary Indian Women’s Discourse in Hindu Arranged Marriages’ looks at the resistance put up by Punjabi women in South Delhi. Her research shows that arranged marriages in India have a constraining framework which puts women in damaging situations. (Chawla, D., 2007)5Here she found that her subjects put up resistance as best they could give their family actuality. They could fight for a little more freedom and self-determination but terminating a relationship was unapproachable. In conclusion this paper manages to reveal that marital bliss is a phenomenon that is indeed enjoyed in couples who wed by arranged marriages. The data from different studies suggest that this might be due to distinct gender roles, Hindu traditions, low expectations of what a marriage constitutes and the fact that children are socialized to be accommodating and comply with what is best for the family rather than the self. (Amato, Paul R, 1994)6However, this paper is not without it’s biases and systematic errors. Due to the nature of these studies some samples were selected from urban Indian communities while others from deeply rural ones. Also, interviewer bias and the human nature of withholding inner true feelings towards their marriage may have caused inaccuracies in the collection of data. Another cross cultural study ‘Importance of Marital Characteristics and Marital Satisfaction: A Comparison of Asian Indians in Arranged Marriages and Americans in Marriages of Choice’ measures love, intimacy, happiness and satisfaction between people with arranged marriages in india, Indians who had arranged marriages and lived in America and Americans in love marriages. (Madathil, J. ,&Benshoff, J., 2008)7. Results in total and important satisfaction varied greatly with Indians who had arranged marriages and lived in America the most satisfied. This tells us that when not being forced to conform to their culture, American Indians are dissatisfied with their marriage. References: Top of Form Myers, J. E., Madathil, J., & Tingle, L. R. (June 06, 2005). Marriage Satisfaction and Wellness in India and the United States: A Preliminary Comparison of Arranged Marriages and Marriages of Choice. Journal of Counseling and Development, 83, 2, 183. Bottom of Form Ahmad, S., & Reid, D. W. (2008). Relationship Satisfaction among South Asian Canadians: The Role of ‘Complementary-Equality’ and Listening to Understand. Interpersona, 2(2), 131-150 Top of Form Seiter, L. N. (2006). Arranged marriages in India: A conversation with rural women about their beliefs, perceptions, and feelings. Bottom of Form Top of Form Regan, P. C., Lakhanpal, S., & Anguiano, C. (June 01, 2012). Relationship outcomes in Indian-American love-based and arranged marriages. Psychological Reports, 110, 3, 915-924. Bottom of Form Top of Form Chawla, D. (January 01, 2007). I Will Speak Out: Narratives of Resistance in Contemporary Indian Women's Discourses in Hindu Arranged Marriages. Women and Language : Wl, 30, 1, 5-19. Amato, Paul R (1994). A Sociological Study of Marriage Disruption and Role Adjustment. Journal of Comparative Family Studies.Bottom of Form Top of Form Madathil, J., & Benshoff, J. M. (July 01, 2008). Importance of marital characteristics and marital satisfaction: A comparison of Asian Indians in arranged marriages and Americans in marriages of choice. Family Journal, 16, 3, 222-230. Arranged marriages: An assessment of the attitudes of the college students in India. Rao, V. V.; Rao, V. Nandini Journal of Comparative Family Studies, Vol 7(3), 1976, 433-453. Bottom of Form Read More