Opinion About Arrange Marriages - Assignment Example

Opinion About Arrange Marriages In this article Shoba Narayan discuss social psychology of the girls and their curiosity about their life’s turning point i.e. about their marriages. In this article she expresses her mentality about arrange marriages, as she is an Indian lady belonging to the family full of cultural values. She took birth in India and rose there but studied in US for five years. She had a very broad mentality but opted for an arrange marriage. After experiencing an arranged married life her mentality about arrange marriages changed. Being a reader as she describes different modes of getting marriage I also agree with her and believe on the benefits of arrange marriages. Usually arranged marriages are considered as old custom which is still practiced in India, Pakistan, and Africa and to some extent in Middle East also. Love marriages refers to personal freedom while arrange marriages are mostly focused around building a family accompanied by the adjustment between both partners. It also considers the wishes and religion of one’s family. Love also grows with the passage of time as the interaction between both partners increases (Presbyterian Church in the U.S. – Religion). In general arrange marriages are less concerned with romance or superficial attraction (David H. L. Olson, John D. DeFrain - Social Science, 2003). They are more concerned with balanced life where spiritual values are respected. Divorce rate is also observed very low as a consequence of arrange marriage, in contrast to love marriages. Parents are mostly considered as responsible for the arrange marriages and are deemed to be more experienced than the young ones who are getting married. In arrange marriages, family values are considered of more importance than personal satisfaction. The wishes of parents and family members is thought as supreme while choosing partner, therefore it results in less mental clashes among the family and the new comer is welcomed with open heart. As a result new family member also pays in the same coins and whole family lives happily forever. Apart from family values arrange marriages have some spiritual values also. As Shoba experienced herself that she not only love her husband but admires him because of his behavioral characteristics that she experienced after marriage. Arrange marriages do not focus on superficial attraction but it focuses on moral values. It may also consider a mean of pleasing GOD. In eastern countries where there are more cultural values, divorce is not acceptable by the society. Therefore its rate is very low in these countries (Ronald Cohen - Family & Relationships, 1971). I agree with Shoba’s concept of arrange marriages because I have also experienced the same in my life. I spent a part of my life in an eastern, well cultured family. Being a girl I always thought there must be good understanding between the two partners, who are going to get married. When I reached in the final year of my graduation one of my father’s childhood friend offered a proposal for his son. As a father with broad mentality he asked me about the proposal. I was familiar with that person since my childhood but was not close with him. But there was no significant reason to refuse the proposal. I was in a great confusion and was not able to take a decision. Finally I agreed for the proposal just for the sake of my father’s will and within few months we got married. Actually the same happened with him also, we were not personally indulged in each other but our families were very excited to transform the friendship of our fathers into a lovable relation. I even talked to him first time after getting married. Initially I was in a fix that how could I spend my whole life with a person about whom I don’t know anything. But later, it started developing understanding between us. After two months of marriage I asked to continue my studies. The first time I got inspired with him when he appreciated me and permitted me to complete my doctorate. Later by different habitual activities I found him a very loving, caring and cooperative person. Whenever I get ill he looks after me. If I feel like going anywhere he always takes care of me. By observing all his routine practices, not only with me but also with his family, friends, and his colleagues in his office and even with my family members also, I started admiring him. I was still so confused whether I should love him or not. He was still my nice husband but not my best friend. As the time passed the understanding between us became more sophisticated. I always asked questions from myself, should I love this excellent person? If not then what’s the reason? I found the answers of my question when he met an accident with a trawler and was seriously injured. At that time I realized his significance in my life. I found that I cannot live without him. He has become my darling. It was the moment when he got conscious in the hospital and I expressed all my feelings in front of him. At that time I also realized that how correct was my parents’ decision for my life. I could never find such a person for me that my parents brought in my life. Bibliography: Olson, D. H. L., DeFrain, J. D., & Olson, D. H. L. (2003). Marriages and families: Intimacy, diversity, and strengths. New York: McGraw-Hill. Cohen, R. (1971). Dominance and defiance; A study of marital instability in an Islamic African society. Anthropological studies, no. 6. Washington: American Anthropological Association. Presbyterian Church in the U.S. (1924). Presbyterian survey. Richmond, Va., etc: Presbyterian Committee of Publication, etc.]. Read More