Impressions to Kuwaiti Tribes, Andaloor Villages and Judaisms - Case Study Example

Of Impressions and Their Reasons to the Different Cultural Practices of Marriage Introduction Different cultures have different cultural practices concerning marriage ceremony. An individual witnessing a cultural tradition that is far from similar to his or her culture or custom would automatically form or create, conscious or unconscious, an impression out of that experience or event. This paper explores three different cultures performing different ways of conducting a wedding ceremony – namely, the cultures of the Kuwaiti Tribe Community, the Andaloor Village Tribe, and Judaism. I will attempt to form few impressions out of this exploration. Also, this paper examines the impressions formed: that is, why they were formed. Impressions to Kuwaiti Tribe’s It is perfectly reasonable for a man to enter into a marriage life when he is already economically stable. Once he is secured in his regular and descent job, the man is prepared to get married with the woman of his choosing. Economic stability is the central factor in establishing a stable family. It is interesting, on the other hand, concerning the process of getting married practiced by the Kuwaiti Tribe. First, the man, after securing his stable job, announces to his parents about his desire for marriage. Afterwards, the man’s mother makes ways in searching for her son’s prospective wife. This type of getting a man’s partner for life is far from modern. In a deeper sense, this could be equated to an arranged marriage, albeit in a slightly different approach. Thus, the sort of marriage tradition practiced by the Kuwaiti Tribal Community is largely traditional and outlandish in character. The setting of this sort of marriage proposal has many implications. First, the man from the Kuwaiti Tribe must consult to his parents regarding his plans to get married. It implies that the bachelor has the duty to inform his father and mother concerning the content of his heart. Also, the man has no power to enter into marriage without the approval of his parents. The thoughts and sentiments of the man’s parents are quite important in the outcome of the decision-making process. Second, the parents choose their son’s bride-to-be. The man’s parents, at certain instance, have the right to decide on what kind of woman is proper or fit for their son. In fact, the parents have already a particular girl in mind for their son’s prospective wife (Al-ZU’Abi & Jagdish, 2008). The man may insist specific qualifications that his prospective bride must possess; however, the final decision comes solely from his mother since it is her that does the searching. Paradoxically, the man is not the one that looks but rather the one that waits. Third, it is the man who owns the privilege of voicing out the desire to get married while a woman has no voice at all. In essence, the woman has the duty to wait for her man to find her -- or more specifically, for her man’s mother to find her. Meanwhile, she lingers for awhile in her parents’ home until a marriage proposal is presented for her consent. It is almost like a fairy tale where a maiden waits for the arrival of her prince charming. It is tragic, however, if her prince does not come at all. Fourth, it is the man’s mother that looks for the bride. It is as if the parents are the only ones who have the innate ability or skill to find for a man’s suitable wife. In contrast, the man or woman seems to be naive, if not a fool, in searching and eventually finding for his or her right wife or husband. Perhaps, the Kuwaiti Tribe believes in the passage: Mother knows best. Fifth, intimate relationship (i.e., relationship between opposite sex prior to marriage) is non-existent for the Kuwaiti Tribe. Marriage appears to be the only type of relationship outside the filial relationship. It is interesting how this tribe perceives personality and individuality. Sixth, there is no stage or phase prior to engaging into an intimate or long-lasting relationship, most commonly known as the stage of getting to know each other. It presupposes that the roles of the prospective groom and bride are unquestionably known between the two parties. It is as if they perfectly understand and accept the standard roles prescribed by their tribal community. And seventh, marriage -- especially choosing one’s own mate -- is a public or tribal matter. There appears to be no concept of privacy. Decision-making rests on their tribe. By and large, marriage belongs to the society, and not to the husband-to-be and wife-to-be. Impressions to Andaloor Village’s Like the Kuwaiti Tribe, the marriage tradition practiced by the community in the Andaloor Village is greatly traditional and outlandish in form and structure. The marriage tradition is obviously an arranged type of marriage. Like the marriage proposal practiced by the Kuwaiti Tribe, the tribe in the Andaloor Village permits the act of marriage proposal only when the man is financially and psychologically prepared for a family life (Al-ZU’Abi & Jagdish, 2008). Unlike the Kuwaiti Tribe, however, it is only the parents or the elders of the tribe that select the bride-to-be for the bachelor. The man cannot insist, this time, concerning what particular woman he likes to marry. It is fascinating, if not preposterous, how the tribe in the Andaloor Village incorporates the belief of horoscope in matching or pairing two individuals prior to the approval of their marriage. Andaloor villagers appear to trust their life and fate to the direction of the stars of heaven. The lives of the people, even before their coming into this world, seem to be written already in the constellation of the night sky. The stars above influence the movement of the people’s life course. It is intriguing, though, regarding the villagers ambivalence to the aura of the horoscope as an absolute deciding factor for the realization of a marriage ceremony. Selecting and choosing for the bride ultimately reside to the man’s family, and vice-versa. For instance, if the man’s parents do not like the woman’s background, they won’t ask anymore for her horoscope (Al-ZU’Abi & Jagdish, 2008). It appears that the horoscope predicted by the heavenly stars has no enchanting power in influencing the lives of the earthlings. For the village people of Andaloor, astrologers have no supernatural authority over who’s getting married to whom. On the other hand, the role of the astrologers in the process of marriage is redeemed through his or her role as the decision-maker for the proposed wedding time and place. An astrologer calculates the time and place of the wedding ceremony known as muhurtham by analyzing the groom’s and bride’s horoscope (Al-ZU’Abi & Jagdish, 2008). Although, the place where the wedding ceremony is held is not fixed; it could be held either within the bride’s home or within the temple’s sacred place. What is striking is that the bride’s family prepares or arranges for the wedding’s venue. The showering of rice grains to the groom and bride -- as a sign of blessing -- is quite amusing. Rice is a staple food for the tribe’s people in the Andaloor Village. The shower of rice grain is symbolical for the wedding in particular and the married life in general. Like rice production, the two individuals bonded by marriage are expected to produce offspring that replenishes the soil of the earth. The incorporation of native products or resources such as, but not limited to, coconut lamp, garland, and vermilion is equally captivating. It is intriguing, though, about the groom painting a toxic vermilion or sindhur on the forehead of his bride. I wonder if that meant that a married life is intoxicating. It is odd too that when the newlywed goes to the groom’s place after the wedding ceremony, some of the woman’s relatives and friends go with them too. I wonder why they don’t give the husband and wife a sense of privacy. Impressions to Judaism’s The women have special or sacred place in the Jewish religion. The bride enters into the mikva, for instance, a bath used for ritual immersion. That is done to begin the marriage in purity (Weiss, 2005). It is a wonder to me, though, about how a Jewish bath purifies the body. If purification means to clean one’s body, then taking a bath in one’s home will be sufficient. And I wonder if the groom is required to immerse himself into the waters. There are two implications here: (1) it implies that women are the only ones who should purify themselves, and not men since male species are already “pure” by nature; (2) it implies that women are the ones who could only purify themselves since purity is inherent in them. It seems then that purity signifies sexual purity or virginity as a marriage gift of a woman to her man. The bride is escorted to the chuppa, a four-leg canopy (Weiss, 2005). Chuppa symbolizes the four-wall house where the two couples will live and establish their own family. It is strange, however, why this chuppa has no windows and doors. If the four-leg chuppa symbolizes home for the couples, might it not be enough that the four-wall temple replaces such symbolism? And I wonder if the couples’ house consists of six or more walls or columns, instead of four, then the chuppa representation no longer becomes valid or real. The very foundation of their home crumbles in consequence. After the groom and the bride light the unity candle, “Lecha Dodi” or “Come Meet the Bride -- the Shabbat” is sung. The image or metaphor of the bride signifies the Shabbat in the song Lecha Dodi. Shabbat is transformed into a female. Like the physiology of females, Shabbat is sacred and beautiful. On the other hand, males or grooms seem to be unfit in representing or signifying as Shabbat. Again, we are drawn into the notion of purity. Like the pureness of the Sabbath, women are pure and gentle in nature. As a sign of her acceptance, the bride circles the groom seven times (Weiss, 2005). The number seven is symbolical to the Jewish tradition. For instance, God created the cosmos in seven days. Therefore, the number seven represents the infusion of spirituality and Godliness. Creation and marriage appear to be synonymous for both of them replenishes and multiplies the world. It is arresting to remember about the story of the Israelites circling Jericho for seven days and Jericho crumbles at the end of those days. The allusion of Jericho crumbling down into pieces does not fit to the essence or significance of marriage. If it “fits,” then the very foundation of their home crumbles in consequence. The groom breaks the glass. The breaking of the glass signifies man’s breaking the covenant with God. It also refers to life being not perfect, but men have the responsibility to perfect it to his best ability (Weiss, 2005). It is intriguing to see that the groom is the one who breaks the glass. Here, the purity of the woman is maintained. Her pureness or sacredness is not shattered to pieces. She stays to be intact, both in spirit and in body. But man, hard and stubborn, is impure and sinful. On Forming Impressions Why I formed the impressions I made regarding the marriage tradition practiced by the three different cultures is generally because those impressions -- to my “mind” or “belief” -- are “right” or “proper.” Personal history or experience, direct or indirect, plays an essential role in forming impressions. The concept of what is right/proper or not is pragmatically based on my past experience, first-hand or not. Since experiences are diverse and complex, my memories -- selective in nature -- are the integral composite of my total experience. Also, the society where I live -- including its economic, political, and cultural systems -- affects, if not influence, my viewpoint. Moreover, media (e.g., television, Internet, books, etc.) shape my view of what the world, imaginary or real, looks like. By and large, my mind is molded by three chief elements: (1) experience/memory; (2) society; (3) media. By and large, social environment is essential in making and unmaking an opinion or impression (Wong & Sitkin, 2002). For instance, I find it acceptable or reasonable regarding the Kuwaiti Tribe’s rule in allowing a man to get married. Based from my experience -- or to be more precise, based from the marriages of my friends and kin -- economic stability is necessary prior to committing to a married life. I believe it is the most fundamental ingredient for a family life to live in comfort and security. The people that I am immersed with greatly value work and education. For them, in fact, work and education are synonyms. To enter into an ideal married life, so my folks said, one has to be economically mature or stable. Work or education is the underlying measure of one’s economic status. The media also supports this line of reasoning – or at least, the media that I view, read, or know. In a global economic system like capitalism, is money not vital to life and living? Unless no one challenges my above reasoning, in a convincing and concrete approach, I will cling to such belief – a form of representational state – for as long as life holds on me. Like determining an individual’s behavior or action, forming an impression, concept, or reasoning is characterized or determined by the mental processes, activities, or interplay of the individual’s “initial representational state” and “intermediate states” (Pylyshyn, 1990). Representational state includes the person’s beliefs, knowledge, desires, and so on. Thus, my mind, consciously or unconsciously, is a collection of taste, ideas, perceptions, perspective, and the like. Initial representational state, however, does not explain how beliefs, data, or knowledge is transferred, emerged, or formed into the person’s mental framework. On the other hand, intermediate states lack empirical claims. For the people of Andaloor Village, on the one hand, my scientific mind cannot agree to their marriage practice using the horoscope system. I even consider such practice as preposterous and outlandish. I cannot see or prove, no one can, how distant stars – thousands or millions of light-years away from the planet earth – could influence or sway the lives of the earth people. I may believe that society (i.e., people that I know) can influence my thoughts and decisions, but I cannot believe that horoscope can shape or structure my life. The differences between society/people and horoscope are distance and a sense of reality. Unlike stars, people can respond or react. Unlike people, stars have no “life.” My university education – part and parcel of a society – taught me to think critically and objectively. Not like the villagers from Andaloor, I was educated in an environment full of technical and scientifically-minded people. Stars, for the educated, are big and glowing balls made of plasma held together by their own gravity. No, stars cannot gravitate, pull, or force a human being’s course of life. Basing from my experience, it is rather the individuals – permitting stars to influence their tiny lives – that make horoscope prediction real. Apparently, my impressions were mild for the Jewish cultural tradition. Unlike the practices held by the Kuwaiti and Andaloor Tribes, I never call the Jewish cultural practices as outlandish, even traditional. The concept of meme, a term introduced by Richard Dawkins, is perhaps the reason why I am mild or gentle to Judaism. Meme is a unit of cultural replication comparable to gene’s function (Schlinger, 2009). It propagates or disseminates from brain to brain through a certain process. Conclusion After analyzing the wedding ceremonies observed by the three different cultures, it is evident that I formed few impressions or opinions concerning their rituals or customs. Clearly, their cultural practices were different from my culture or society. The standard that I applied in forming my impressions is largely based on the standard set by my experience, society, and media. Through society and media, I am able to gather and establish my own bias and prejudice. And through experience, I am able to prove or disprove those bias and prejudice. References Al-ZUAbi, A. Z., & Jagdish, J. S. (2008). Marriage: an integrated study in the context of cultural variation. Dome, 17 (1), 68+. Pylyshyn, Z. W. (1990). Computation and cognition: Issues in the Foundations of Cognitive Science. In J. L. Garfield (Eds.), Foundations of cognitive science: The essential readings (18-73). New York: Paragon House. Schlinger Jr., H. D. (2009). Theory of mind: An overview and behavioral perspective. The Psychological Record, 59 (3), 435+. Weiss, M. (2005). A bride, a rabbi and two priests: Recalling an inter-religious wedding in Belgium. The Ecumenical Review, 57 (4), 446+. Wong, S., & Sitkin, S. (2002). Shared cognition in organizations: The management of knowledge. Administrative Science Quarterly, 47 (3), 577+. Read More