Examining Own Personal Experiences alongside Bells Insights - Essay Example

Examining Own Personal Experiences alongside Bell’s Insights OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND BELL’S INSIGHTS Time People have varied perceptions on time because of their different cultural orientations and beliefs. Some individuals really value time while others may not be so much bothered. It is because of their unique lifestyle. The world is filled with so much action, and some of us find themselves rushing with their daily activities simply because they are late for something and want to catch up with time. Bell et al. (2014) believe that our sense of time is not enough to make us realize how precious time is. Most of us think that an hour spent in one activity is the same as an hour spent in a different activity, but the truth is that the two are different. The authors assert that college life is a very fine experience in youths’ lives as it helps them change tune their sense of time, and realize how important it is in our lives. Bell et all. (2014) argue that managing a balanced life is one of the most precious life skills that every individual should acquire. Good time management comes in as a very important skill in life because it determines several aspects of a student’s life in college. For example, the authors point out that some students are able to balance between college education and life, as they are able to go about the two at the same time. The truth of the matter is that if one learns to balance his or her time well, managing the two activities will not be hard, and most of the time such students find out that the two go hand in hand, and even complement each other. Most students who have experience in this have since confessed that it is a challenging experience, since they face some difficulties at the start. One advantage of working while still in college is that an individual is able to pay for his or her studies as well, and the benefits are many. As advised by this group of students, finding a job that fits one’s schedules is always recommended, as this will enable you to balance between work and school. Moreover, it is observed that the academic life is very different from the job market and what one needs when they get out of school is some practical knowledge or experience. Therefore, finding the right job is always advantageous. Students are advised that if they choose to work while still in college, they should always choose the right job that is related to their field of study. The experience is hard and very discouraging, but students who have acquired time management skills have never regretted their decisions to work while still in college. Talking about time management, I can confess that it is a very important aspect of our lives as it determines the outcome of our college experience. I have ever had a feeling that we spend a lot of our free time in less rewarding ventures. If a student can engage in activities that will help him or her to solve some life problems or meet some of the college requirements, then his or her time is spent well. The kind of insight offered in this book has really elicited many reactions in me, because I feel that I have not been utilizing my time well. The plan is to stop wasting my college life and engage in constructive activities such as finding the right job that fits my college schedule, or just finding an internship. Love and friendships Bell et al. (2014) believe that friendships can be a very good model for love relationships. The advice here is that romantic relationships can succeed well if both partners viewed each other as friends. The authors argue that friendship is what can bring the kind of fulfillment that we crave for in a love relationship. The media has a very different portrayal of love such that individuals who are contemplating love relationships can get confused in their early stages in a relationship. There are qualities that we would not accept in our friends, yet the media shows them as admirable in a lover. This is depicted in how two individuals who were hostile to each other at the beginning end up falling in love. Some of the bad qualities in a stranger would be overlooked, and the stranger would be made to appear attractive, while a close friend who had those qualities would be pitied. The media shows individuals with poor characters such as jealousy and high temper as lovable because even though they do some awkward things, they are still sexually intriguing. For a long lasting love relationship, Bell et al. (2014) believe that individuals can deviate from, and desist what the media feeds into our minds by applying the same criteria we use to choose friends to selecting our love partners. This criterion can lead us to experiencing the inner joy that such close associations should provide. Since the media do not give us a clue on how to look for and form fulfilling relationships, it is arguable that using friendship as a model of love relationships can lead to successful relationships. Moreover, even the Western literature has so many cases of unhappy relationships than successful ones, and if these are the books that we read, where would we find the proper mechanisms of the so called successful and happy relationships? Bell et al. (2014) argue that good relationships require dedication and honesty, and they always mold our characters and change us for the good. The media has lost direction by portraying love relationships in a very negative way, and what can aid us in our search for good relationships is the friendship model. I can confess that most of us do not have a clue of what love relationships are. We are so much fascinated by what we see in the media that some of us develop negative perceptions about relationships. The fact is that humans are social beings, and forming close associations with people who care about us is ingrained in us. Our associations were never meant to result in quarrels and heartaches, and this is the reason why looking for the best formula for relationships is necessary. I find Bell’s insight very important especially in this generation where love and relationships is a very crucial issue. It is because my past relationships were based on selfish interests, which led me to forming associations with people who did not value friendship but self-gratifying pursuits. I now look at love relationships as something that should be based on friendships, and that only the friendship model can lead to a more fulfilling love relationship. Grades and Careers While it is true that parents do a lot for their children, especially in funding their education, some of them put so much emphasis on grades and even choose courses for their kids. Parents do examine the grades of their children because this is the only way through which they can evaluate their efforts in school. It is because they want to see whether the child is reciprocating their efforts in a way that satisfies them (Bell et al. 2014). Children should not take offence if the parents do this with moderation. Parents are always advised to exercise their authority with caution since if they forget this, the children may react negatively to their actions. It is also prudent for parents to avoid making choices for their children, since they may end up suggesting undesirable options to them. Moreover, Bell et al. (2014) argue that the reason why parents end up making wrong choices for their kids is because they do not spend time with them. Therefore, they do not really know their children’s likes and dislikes. Bell et al. (2014) believe that children’s wishes must always prevail in case there is a dispute between them and their parents about college majors. When children make their choices and parents refute them, or when parents make choices and force them on their children, there arises a dispute. The best way to solve such issues is to deny the parents the chance to have a full control over them. It helps avoid future problems since there have been cases where children have even committed suicide because parents forced their hard choices on them. Children should make their parents know that they need the kind of environment where they can exercise their free will. They must be ready to confront their parents on such crucial issues that affect their lives, and must know that they cannot entirely live their lives according to their parents’ wishes. They have choices to make in life, and this should be free from any kind of manipulation. Sometimes parents make choices for their children because maybe they feel that they never achieved as they expected, and one way of making up for this is by making choices for their kids. The other reason for this may be the fact that the parents feel that they have achieved much, and they would really want their kids to follow in that direction (Bell et al. 2014). Children must be able to identify and avoid this kind of manipulation. I have always tried to be independent in my life, and I have made it known to my parents who have always given me permission to make my choices. What I do expect from them is their guidance since I believe that they have more experience than I do. It is crucial that we allow our parents to guide us, while always letting them know that we also have our life choices. Concerning the course choices, I allowed them to advise me but I conducted a research before I made my choices. Bell’s advice has reinforced my earlier belief that parents should not be so manipulative to an extent that they cause hatred between them and their children. It also made me understand that it is not wrong to resist your parents especially when they are forcing their wrong choices on you. REFERENCES Bell, Inge, McGrane Bernard, Gunderson John, and L. A. Terri. 2014. This Book Is Not Required: An Emotional and Intellectual Survival Manual for Students, Fifth EditioneTextbook. SAGE Publications. Read More