Bells Insights and Personal Experiences - Book Report/Review Example

Bell’s Insights and Personal Experiences Bell’s Insights and Personal Experiences Pursuing Wisdom While Still in College While many people assert that college education only instills knowledge and little wisdom to students, Bell et al. (2014) believes that students can as well use their college life and the available resources to obtain wisdom. He points out two advantages that students have while still in college, i.e. more time than they would have after college, as well as a number of available college resources. He advises students on ways that they can use these resources to their advantage at the time that they are still in college. Bell et al. (2014) offer a series of insightful thoughts of how one can gain wisdom and experience through personal friendships and through the curriculum. One of the things that are worth noting is the importance of close associations as one of the ways through which we can gain wisdom. One of the things that Bell et al. (2014) discusses is how to interact fully with people of varied opinions, behaviors and beliefs. Through this kind of interaction, an individual is able to expose himself or herself to different opinions, get to share life experiences and open up for friends. He advises that people should be able to accept their friends just the way they are, and not how they expect them to be. They go further to advise that individuals should cast their nets wide enough and avoid the trap of feeling comfortable with the few friends with whom they associate. The main advantage of this is that an individual is able to form useful connections that would help him or her in future. Forming personal connections helps an individual see the world in its broadest sense, as he/she will always strive to listen to others in the process and gain new insight (Bell et al. 2014). While expounding on listening as a tool through which individuals can form meaningful friendships, Bell et al argues that every individual must free their minds of any preconceptions, and become neutral so to effectively listen to their friends. This technique helps individuals stand in one another’s shoes and ‘feel’ with them. It is just an aspect of forgetting self and deciding to explore the negative aspects of our lives. An individual may decide to look for help, especially when he or she has identified some of the negative personality traits that may hinder his or her progress in forming meaningful and lasting relationships (Bell et al. 2014). I find it very thoughtful and insightful to engage in friendship ties as one of the ways through which we can gain wisdom and even some knowledge of the world. Looking deep into my personal experience, I would admit that for the few times I have interacted with people, I have come to learn one or two things that I had no knowledge about. It has dawned on me that we can gain more wisdom through associating ourselves with friends of different views and experiences. As you get to share ideas, one gains fresh insight and learns ways through which we can solve life issues based on other people’s experiences. Belle et al. (2014) has managed to convince me to have a different view of people. I can now form long lasting partnerships and connections just by accepting people the way they are and not how I expect them to be. This will enable me to listen to their views and get to learn one or two things about them, their experience and borrow their wisdom as well. Trouble with Parents One of the major challenges facing college youths is how to deal with parents. It is true that people will always choose to have children, and after the children come into their lives, they value them and do everything possible to protect and guide them in the best way possible. After this period, probably when one reaches the age of eighteen and above, the parents start to withdraw their attention from their children and start to trust the wisdom they had applied while bringing them up. They will expect their children to be a bit responsible and know how to take care of themselves. Even the children themselves start to learn how to think on their own, and they mostly enter into disagreements with their parents as they do this. Bell et al. (2014) believes that maybe the conflicts that youths do have between them and their parents do stem from many factors including the parent’s cultural orientation. In some homes, parents and children live in harmony, and it is good to point out some of the ‘rules’ that they observe. As discussed by Bell et al. (2014), some of the homes where parents treat their grown up children with love and as equal members of the family, experience joy as they live together. The authors assert that these parents are understanding and listen to their children’s needs. They advise on some specific situations where children do not need to give in to parent’s demands, especially if it is for their own benefit. They advise on the importance of being assertive, a practice that helps us live independently without fear or desire to get approval from parents. Communicating one’s feelings in a very open and direct way, without being too reactive to parents can help youths earn the respect of their parents. It is because parents will always treat their children in accordance with how their react to situations. Children are advised to portray the type of adults that they want to be, so that the parents can also respect their choices. It is prudent to stop viewing parents as the author of their lives and start living independently. Youths must also understand their parents based on their strengths and limitations and have reasonable expectations from them. I find this advice valuable especially in the modern world where youths are faced with various challenges in life. As youths try to grapple with the demands of life, it is wise for them to determine the kind of life that they want to live and make it known to their parents in the best way possible. Through this, it will be evident to the parents that they are becoming independent and no longer need any kind of control from the parents. Thus, they will be saved from many quarrels with their parents. What I learn here is that we should be able to show to our parents that we have become mature enough to lead very independent lives, and this can be achieved only by behaving responsibly towards our parents. Moreover, it is wise to know the limitations of our parents so that we do not expect too much from them. Over the past few years, I have become contented with the few things that my parents are able to provide, and I have never expected too much. This lesson has also reinforced my earlier belief that parents should give us freedom to choose our own lives, and this can only be a possibility if we show them that we are responsible enough to take care of ourselves as youths. The Career Bell et al. (2014) argue that people often attend colleges to get careers, i.e. something that would enable them to earn a living, but many times they do not realize that the term career does not only refer to a source of livelihood. To them, career is one’s way of life, a particular pattern of how one lives his or her life. It involves certain traits and values, and digs deep into an individual’s most inner spheres of life. It involves someone’s dreams as well as family life. The authors point out ambition as one of the elements in one’s career pattern. This factor will determine one’s career life at a greater degree. It has often been asked whether these overly ambitious persons can ever love. It is true that these people get so much involved with their careers that they tend to forget some important aspects of life such as their families and love relations. As Bell et al. (2014) put it, ambition is the kind of involvement with self that they cannot recommend, as it is a vanity that can lead to serious harmful effects to the individual and other persons in his or her life. It is the cause of failed marriages because the overly ambitious people do not get time for their families. They cannot enjoy one another’s company as career issues dominate their lives. Through success in our careers, we get so much lost in life that we do not see the world the way it is. Our perceptions of reality are blurred by the kind of material possessions that money can bring to us, and we forget our main life purpose. The career journey is just like a roller coaster, which takes one to the highest point then comes down to start again at the lowest point. It is depicted in one’s life as he goes through high school, college until one gets a job. The job market is also characterized with the kind of competition that puts people in the same race seen in the schools. The advice that the authors give is valuable. It involves a complete change of self, and not just abandoning one’s job. The change is inevitable, and if one thinks that the career race will ever end, then they are wrong (Bell et al. 2014). This kind of insight has really proved worthy to me especially in the current world where career achievements mean a lot to people. When I reflect back in my life, I see the kind of competition that existed in High school, and it has never ended because the same is manifested in my college life too. The probability of it ending is minimal since as the authors have discussed, it is a race that only ends in retirement. It calls for major adjustments in one’s life, as he or she plans to open up to others and start to value close associations with his or her family members and friends. Reference Bell, Inge, Bernard McGrane, John Gunderson, and Terri L. Anderson. 2014. This book is [not] required : an emotional and intellectual survival manual for students. 5th ed. Los Angeles, California : SAGE. Read More