Importance of Assertiveness in Communication - Essay Example

Importance Of Assertiveness In Communication Human behavior is an interesting combination of many aspects like emotions, thoughts, experiences, opinions and nature. Behavior of man can be defined as those actions which can be observed by others, have a reason behind it and which has a beginning and end ( Wilson & Dobson 2008). Man’s relationship with people around him depends a lot on his behavior and depends on how he communicates with others. It has been seen by people that for a successful and productive communication, assertiveness is very important. Every human being has a voice of his own. He has a opinions and feelings and has a right to tell others about it. But most of the people are not able to do it as they lack the confidence and are not able to understand how to do it. Assertiveness is a style of communication where you make sure that your opinion is expressed and in such a way that people who hear it feel that you also care for their opinion and respect them (Wilson & Dobson 2008). In being assertive, you not only give respect to others in your team, but also gain respect and attention of people around you by putting forward your point confidently. But even after understanding the benefits of being assertive, why do people stay away from it? Why does it happen with some people that even after knowing that they have a valid and important point to make, they don’t tell that to others? Is it that they lack confidence and hence are afraid to come forward? Lack of confidence cannot be the only reason for not being assertive. Being assertive is not as easy as it seems. Being assertive is possible only when you are honest about your thoughts, express yourself directly rather than beating around the bush and do this things with respect towards others (Wilson & Dobson 2008). Because honesty and being direct in the communication is difficult for many people, it is hard to be assertive. Most of the times, you suppress your anger and negative feelings that you have towards others. And then there comes a time that you get so angry that you give an outlet to your suppressed emotions in the matter where it does not apply. This blocks the honest communication as it sends out a wrong message about you that you are a person who gets angry for no valid reason (Wilson & Dobson 2008) . Assertive person deals openly with the issues that are bothering him rather than running away from it and making it grow unnecessarily. This is because an assertive person is confident about his stand in that particular matter and does not hesitate to be blunt and frank in what he feels. And these qualities not only help him in having healthy personal relationship but also helps him to be an active and productive person when it comes to working in a team. Importance of Assertiveness in Team Building : Assertiveness is a feeling that your personal desires, needs, wants and goals are as important as the desires, needs, wants and goals of others. You understand the idea behind equality of treatment and that helps you to treat others equally no matter what position he holds at work (Butler, Hope T. & Hope R. 1995). This behavior pattern where person gives importance to the opinion of others as you give importance to yours, helps the assertive person to be a healthy person in a team. Assertive person is a balanced on his emotional and mental aspects. He knows how to communicate with the people so that they can together work towards a common goal. He has the ability to clearly explain his point of view, tell others about the whole scenario of a particular situation and also let them know what a particular action can lead to. He has a quality of working for a positive outcome and knows how to encourage others to participate in the discussion (Wilson & Dobson 2008). This helps him to get everyone’s point of view, study the positive and negative aspect of the situation and come to decision which is beneficial for everyone. All these qualities makes the assertive person a very positive aspect of the team. Another important quality of an assertive person is his ability to stay calm and cool in the situation of crisis. Self confidence helps the assertive person to maintain the relaxed attitude rather than getting tense and block the mental thought. Because of their ability to use a body language that displays confidence, strength and positive attitude, he is able to put forward his idea more confidently and energetically (Wilson & Dobson 2008). Today’s work place has become a mixture of people from different race, ethnicity, countries and cultures. Having differences of beliefs, thoughts, ways of expressions and working pattern is very natural. However, striking a balance and giving a space to everyone is very important. Assertiveness helps in understanding these differences and rather than getting nervous about it, the assertive person knows how to be aware of those differences. Because of his sensitiveness and the respect towards others, he understands what others are trying to say and knows how to react to it (Arredondo 2007). This ability of the confident and assertive person helps him to interact with people in a healthy way, gain their confidence and become a role model for them. People working around him finds support and confidence in him and this makes it easy for them to accept his ideas and thoughts more easily. To be successful at job, it is extremely important to gain the trust and the faith of your boss, your colleagues and your subordinates. And assertive person knows very well how to do it. And the important thing is, he does it honestly and in straightforward manner. There is no manipulation or deception in his interactions. Developing Assertion Skills: Being assertive does help in developing positive, productive, healthy and nurturing relationships in both, personal and professional life. However, the question is, what are the qualities that makes an assertive person? Are people born assertive? Or is it possible to develop the skills so that it helps everyone to become assertive and have successful relationships? No one is born assertive (Haywood 2005). Communication is a part of life that develops as you grow up. Communication is an aspect that can be learnt, developed and effectively utilized whenever you want to. However, there are many psychological aspects that play a role in development of assertiveness in the behavior. Nurturing at childhood plays an important role in development of behavior pattern in the adulthood. Your role in the society depends on the way you see yourself. You can be confident in front of people only if you are confident about your own abilities. If you have inferior complex and you try to show confidence then somehow or other, it does come out in your behavior. So the first step towards developing assertion skills is to develop confidence in yourself. Self-esteem is one of the most important aspect of assertive nature. A person with low self-esteem thinks low of himself. He does not have confidence in his abilities. He has a tendency of setting very low goals for himself as he does not believe that he can achieve anything more. And if you have this negative attitude towards yourself, then even if life offers opportunities, you don’t take steps to grab it as you do not have faith that you can achieve anything. Moreover, it also makes you feel worthless (Butler, Hope T. & Hope R. 1995). Your mental attitude is reflected in your body language. Imagine how the body language of a person with low self esteem will be. Most of the times, you will find them sitting with a slouched back, having low or no energy in their voice, fidgeting and having awkwardness in their body movements. And as body language is a result of our subconscious thinking pattern. So faking a body language is not possible. However, by practicing positive body language and thinking, one can take a step towards changing the behavior. A person with high self esteem is confident and holds a very positive opinion about himself. Even if he suffers a setback, he has the ability to bounce back knowing well that he is worth the success and deserves to be at the top. Because of his ability to set high goals, he has the tendency to work hard and sincerely towards the achievement of the goals. The positive thinking brings a very positive change in the body language of the people who have high self esteem. They display a confident, straight, calm and erect posture. Their hands movements are confident and they display a very straight eye contact. This body language make people around him to sense his confidence level and they automatically get influenced by his ideas and opinions. Assertiveness does involve some amount of aggression. However, it is not equal to being aggressive in the communication. There is a very thin line between being aggressive and being assertive and this needs to be understood very clearly. Aggressive and assertive communication styles: Assertiveness is a communication style where a person makes sure that his idea and opinions are heard. However, this expression of the idea and opinion is done in such a way that others don’t feel offended. Aggression is a communication style where you put forward your point without bothering what others might think about it. And not just that but also do not give scope to others to express their opinions. Aggression leads to people being closed towards. This also affects the future communication as people realize that there is no point in talking to you as you are not going to listen. This creates a mental block in the mind of people working with you. And hence the honest and clear communication is blocked between people. Assertiveness is different in a sense that you communicate in such a way that people feel that you are open and welcome to their ideas. They feel that their opinions matter in the decision making and hence do not hesitate to come out openly and honestly about their true feelings. This leads to a creation and development of a very healthy work environment. Assertive behavior pattern gives confidence and to a person and he his self esteem starts increasing. When you realize that your opinion matters and you can express your stand in front of others, the it begins to make you creative and encourages you to take responsibility of not just your own performance but also think about the performance of the team. Assertive behavior is a huge boost towards the development of a confident personality. Three qualities of assertiveness : Assertiveness in the behavior is a result of three qualities and they are honesty, clarity and an appropriate way of putting your idea in front of others. (Butler, Hope T. & Hope R. 1995) Honesty is a extremely important when we are working in a team and are heading towards similar goals. Being honest helps not only you to let an outlet to your thoughts and opinions but also helps the other person to realize where he is going wrong. Many a times it happens that we do not express the true feelings. We simply show our agreement towards a point of view because we don’t want to go against others, have no strength to conveying our point of view and do not want to go against the majority. However, this leads to a opinion about you that you are a person who is not creative and who does not have a opinion of his own. This not only hampers your personal confidence but also hampers the chances of growth and promotion at work. This sort of consistent behavior leads others not to take you seriously and even if you work hard, your communication style becomes an obstacle in your personal and professional life. So it is extremely important to put forward your opinion smartly even if it does not match even a single person’s opinion in the team or group. Another thing that is important is the clarity of thought. When you are clear in your thoughts, you find it very easy to express that to others. Not just that but it also helps people to understand why you are proposing a particular idea and where it will lead them. This clarity of thought helps people to see your point of view correctly and makes them to believe that you are a person who has the ability to chalk out a clear and precise plan, weigh the pros and cons of it and only when you are sure that it will benefit the team, you put it forward. This helps them to gain confidence in you in the future also. The third important point is to put forward the idea in such a way that it gives space to others to honestly give their opinion, encourages them to give a constructive feedback and maintains the respect for them. Everyone feels that his idea and opinion is important and when they are given that importance, they become open and receptive to whatever you are saying. The assertive style of communication uses a very appropriate way to deal with people. Assertive communication helps you to maintain your respect by knowing that your idea is being valued and also helps you respect and understand other’s point of view. And this leads to a healthy, productive and nurturing relationship. References Wilson, S & Dobson M 2008, Goal Setting: How to Create an Action Plan and Achieve Your Goals, AMACOM Div American Mgmt Assn Butler, G., Hope, T. & Hope, R., 1995, Managing Your Mind: The Mental Fitness Guide, Oxford University Press Arredondo, L, 2007, Communicate Effectively, McGraw-Hill Professional Haywood, R, 2005, Corporate reputation, the brand & the bottom line: powerful proven communication strategies for maximizing value, Kogan Page Publishers Read More